Gossip Mongers

Are you sitting comfortably? It's the final chapter for the Storeyteller....

2008-05-21T20:37:00.006+01:00

FASCINATING goings-on amongst the Lib Dims as the Fireman clings to power.

The Dancing Queen, Flo Clucas has been promoted to Deputy Lib Dim Leader as Bradley tries to shore-up his position in his last few weeks as Leader.

However, the price that Clucas demanded for coming to Bradley's aid was....the Storeyteller's head on a plate!

She refused to join the Fireman's Cabinet if Storey was kept on as Executive Member for Regeneration and Constant Self-Promotion.

So Bradley instantly sidelined his old mate - sugaring the bitter pill by giving him the job of being Mayor next year and with a few extra bob in his pocket (£6,000 to be precise, eds) for taking up the non-role of an Assistant Executive Member.

The Dancing Queen will show some nifty footwork if Bradley is disqualified from office and will, no doubt terribly reluctantly, quietly assume the mantle of Leaderene as the Lib Dims regroup and lick their wounds before being kicked out by the electorate in 2010.

However, at least Storey will now be able to fulfil his lifetime's ambition - dressing up in a funny costume every day and getting his picture taken.

That's if he first survives the Standards Board's blisteringly-speedy investigation which is expected to report sometime before the next Millennium (once they have counted all their pencils, made a brew and had a lie-down because of all the stress, eds).

But for the lame Storey the back benches now beckon - that's how a political career ends after 30-plus years, not with a bang, but a wimp.

What has also gone unremarked by the craven Echo is the astonishing dismissal of the Lib Dem parliamentary candidate for Wavertree, Colin Eldridge.

Bradley sacked him from the Cabinet and every other position he held after the two fell out spectacularly over the Mathew Street report.

Deep in his Municipal Buildings bunker, the Fireman also became increasingly paranoid that the lanky Eldridge - dubbed The Lurch by Sexy Rexy - was secretly plotting a come-back for Storey as Leader.So he had to go too.

The Eldridge dismissal is now likely to provoke all kinds of internal party trouble for the Fireman amongst the Lib Dims nationally, who will vainly try to spin it as 'Colin wanted to spend more time with his constituency.'

Of course, it is a huge slap in the face for Eldridge who was being wildly (correct spelling, eds) touted as the Lib Dim's best hope in Liverpool at the next General Election.

No doubt scores will be settled in the future.

Meanwhile the Fireman has carried on where he left off before Nadia Stewart threw him a lifeline - demonstrating his woeful lack of integrity, intelligence or judgement by giving the accused fireman Steve Hurst the job of Executive Member for Corporate Performance.

Hurst is in court in July accused of breaking election law.

What a performance!

What's wrong with giving some freedom to Herbert the Hairdresser? (Don't all answer at once...)

2008-04-19T19:31:00.016+01:00

SECRET plans to give Herbert the hairdresser the freedom of the city have been kaiboshed after a furious row amongst the Lib Dems.
Lord Mayor Paul Clarke has become a firm friend of Herbert during his term of office, judging by the number of pictures they have had taken together.
So it was no surprise when Clark put forward Herbert the Hairdresser's name (it is Herbert Howe, donchaknow, eds) to the Fireman and Storyteller as a next Freeman of the City.
Herbert's work for charidee was singled out by Clark for special praise, as was his connection with various 'slebs' , WAGS and the usual suspects who turn up to every new bar opening.
The Fireman and Storeyteller throught the nomination might help them out politically, reasoning that a little bit of showbiz gold dust would bring some much needed lustre to the tired Lib Dems.
But they decided on caution first.
When preliminary 'soundings were taken' all hell suddenly let loose in the Lib Dem group, with emails, phone call and hurried conversations flying about the place.
The upshot of which was that the nomination was hurriedly withdrawn.
Quite why Herbert was not considered a suitable candidate for the freedom of Liverpool, we can only guess at.
One source tells us he was considered 'highly inappropriate'. Colin CoverUp was also apparently vehemently opposed. (Obviously incorrect, he doesn't get vehement about anything, eds)
Pity, because it would have brought smiles to the faces of millions if Herbert had been given the freedom to drive some sheep down the centre of Dale Street.
What other liberties he would have taken with being a Freeman, we can only speculate about. Answers on a postcard please.
We sincerely hope now, however, that his friend and another remarkable and extremely talented Liverpool celebrity, Mr Pete Price will begin an investigation or public campaign and expose those who opposed Herbert's nomination.
Pete has already (perfectly reasonably, eds) put Herbert forward as a potential elected Mayor of Liverpool in his remarkable and utterly spellbinding Secret Diary blog.
Only someone like Sinbad, or possibly Dean Sullivan, could possibly rival such a candidate. Surely?

Meanwhile we will leave you with more pictures of Herbert the hairdresser in action bringing joy and happiness with all his amazing charidee work. Enjoy.

£150,000 A YEAR, (PLUS 'PERFORMANCE' RELATED PAY @15 PER CENT PER ANNUM), DONALD BULLSHITTER PRETENDS IT'S NOT HIS FAULT!!!!!

2008-04-17T00:32:00.007+01:00

DONALD BULLSHITTER GOES ON HOLIDAY AS MACCA ISSUES £1.9MILLION ULTIMATUM OVER ANFIELD GIG

2008-04-14T22:36:00.009+01:00

Guess what the Culture Company theme song is?

It's here:

Gallows humour has gripped the Fun Palace as staff watch the £150,000-a-year-plus executives flap around like headless chickens. With one exception - as the Macca ultimatum over Anfield was delivered, CoC Director Donald Bullshitter departed out of the door without an apparent care in the world. Staff have come up with their own theme tune to celebrate the contribution to 2008 made by the likes of Bullshitter, Our Lord Redmond, Jase, McCogloose, et al.

'There will be no whitewash at the White House," said Tricky Dicky, before Watergate...will Bradley & Storey be in the dock at Liverpool Town Hall?

2008-04-08T23:34:00.010+01:00

FIREMAN Bradley and the Storeyteller face a 'Watergate' style public trial by watchdogs.

That is the strong and mounting speculation as investigators from the Standards Board spend their second week in the city.

Last week they questioned Labour Leader Joe Anderson and former Events boss Lee Forde over allegations that Bradley and Storey conspired to get rid of the Harbarrowboy with secret meetings and threatening emails, etc.

Meanwhile Jase conducted a telephone interview with investigators from his home in Spain, where he was relaxing in his hammock in the hacienda counting his £250,000 council taxpayers pay-off and eating ice-creams.

This week the Standards Board, which is responsible for monitoring the ethical conduct of councillors, has been interviewing Bradley and Storeyteller for their side of the story.

It turns out that the pair of them have, totally predictably, been blaming everyone but themselves for their behaviour.

"No guv, it wan't me, guv" goes the Fireman's explanation, "it was all that Lee Forde fella and Finnegan's fault."

(Is Bradley this gifted with alliteration? eds)

Quite how anyone but Bradley could have sent emails, text messages and passed the Perroni at his house while plotting to 'do in' Jase is anyone's guess.

It has become increasingly clear however, that Bradley has no intention of falling on his sword (to quote an expression first coined by Sir Diddy, interestingly) and intends to brazen the whole thing out.

The Storyeteller dare not cough to anything, because they would lock him up and throw away the key after first disbarring him for life from public office for his second offence.

So it seems likely that the Standards Board will take such a grave view of Bradley and Storey's behaviour and their refusal to admit their guilt, that they will haul the pair of them in front of a special adjudication committee at the Town Hall.

Anderson, Forde and the Harbarrowboy would all be called to give evidence in public, while Bradley and Storey would presumably take the fifth or try to blame everyone else.

Of course neither of them would have any control over other relevant evidence and the extremely detailed testimony which would be aired in public against them.

We have already booked ringside seats for these Watergate hearings and are currently negotiating with the Harbarrowboy for the ice cream sales concession.

Souvenir 't' shirts, paper hats and lapel badges are already in production (at a very modest and reasonable price, off the back of a lorry, eds)

And we are cureently talking to YouTube about live 'streaming' of proceedings for the expected global TV audience (well more people than will be watching Macca at Anfield, anyway. eds)

Whatever, this extraordinary spectacle would certainly further drag Liverpool's name through the mud on top of all the other Lib Dem sleaze and incompetence and failure. Which wouldn't bother either Bradley or Storey of course.

Such is their brass neck.

JOE RILEY AND THE APRIL FOOL'S DAY BRIDGE OF SIGHS...

2008-04-04T14:40:00.009+01:00

THE craven Echo's self-styled controversial columnist Joe Riley has been getting into more hot water.

You will recall that Riley survived, (thanks to the blog going public with it, eds) demands from 'Randy' Paul Newman to be sacked for dozing off during Jimmy McGovern's boring play.

But now Riley, affectionately known as Mr Bumble by scribes at Trinity Mirror, has put his foot in it again.

The craven Echo, which is world famous for its ready wit and erudition as well as its campaigning and investigative journalism, decided to play a little April Fools Day prank on its loyal readers.

So those wacky full-of-fun madcap lads and lasses from the management team huddled together in a corner and came up with a brilliant and oh-so-humorous wheeze.

"I know," they said, "why don't we make up a story about a new bridge across the Mersey to the Isle of Man? That will have them all in stitches in Anfield."

So after the pranksters fought each other for the honour of making this proposal to EDITOR, Ali Mackray, the go-ahead was given.

The story duly appeared on April 1st.

Millions of readers guffawed their heads off and some were actually taken to Fazakerley because their sides had split open so much.

Oh how we laughed, especially since the story was identical to the 14,356 other Echo stories which have appeared throughout the last ten years, giving free publicity to any insane, no-hope-in-hell-chance-of-it-ever-happening scheme dreamed up by some property developer/speculator/cowboy on the back of a fag packet after two many G&Ts.

But there was one exception to the universal, almost hysterical, amusement caused by the article.

Step forward Mr Bumble.

Our Joe had not been included in the April 1st loop by those wise-cracking, playful Echo executives.

And he took serious umbrage at the madcap plan.

So much so, that he penned one of his distinctive semi-hysterical rants about the scheme for the next's day's Echo.

It was only an eagle-eyed sub-editor who was designing Riley's column, (shurely some mistake? eds) who spotted that Joe had been taken in by the wheeze.

And that the penny had never dropped with him - despite the laughter which had coursed through the Old Hall Street sanatorium like a raging torrent whenever the EDITOR was around.

Some lackey was then deputed to gently break the news to the bumbling Mr Bumble that the bridge story was a spoof.

Mr Bumble's florid chops were, apparently, even redder than usual, when he found out.

Meanwhile, come the revolution, we plan to take out the eagle eyed-sub editor and have him shot at dawn.

If only he had stayed schtum!

It's all going pear-shaped: deficiencies, disagreement, decay and dissent - Firth's shocking verdict on the imploding Lib Dims

2008-03-26T22:11:00.007Z

We told you so!

Deselected Lib Dim Kevin Firth has departed after firing an astonishing broadside at Fireman Bradley and the fast imploding Lib Dim group.

You can read all about it here Fireman Bradley is an aggressive, ranting thug and bully-boy

But we can't resist also repeating the choicest extract, viz:

Cllr Firth claimed that after he expressed his concerns about the cancellation of the festival, Cllr Bradley “launched into what I can only describe as an aggressive rant”.
He added: “I was shocked at the nature of his response to other members of our group, and made my feelings very clear.
“In my opinion such an aggressive response was entirely unnecessary and inappropriate, and ill befits a Liberal Democrat leader.”

Make no mistake, dear readers, this internal warfare will continue and will probably break-out again before polling day on May 1st.

Inspector Clueless Richard Marbrow is already pulling some strings and aims to be the rallying point for the dissenters against Bradley.

But nil desperandum (see comment on our last remarkably well-informed, neigh almost supernaturally prescient post, eds) is also close to the mark with his forecast of future leadership contenders if it all goes pear-shaped in May.

Oooooh, isn't this getting exciting?

Splits emerge amongst the Lib Dims as Fireman Bradley chews a wasp

2008-03-24T21:00:00.012Z

FRESH splits are emerging amongst the Lib Dims despite angry attempts by Fireman Bradley to order a united front.

Within weeks of Beatrice Fraenkel's long overdue defection to Labour, news emerges of more turmoil in the Lib Dim ranks.

Today's Daily Post begins to lift the corner of the rotting carpet of the Lib Dim's internal warfare, with a short, but completely accurate, story about the deselection of Kevin Firth after 10 years service as a councillor.

Firth, a close colleague of Inspector Clueless Richard Marbrow, was dumped by the Lib Dims from Old Swan.

His crime?

Firth had the temerity to speak out against Fireman Bradley over the Mathew Street fiasco.

Well actually, it wasn't even that rebellious - Firth simply tried to hold Bradley to account for the Mathew St cock-up during a Lib Dim group meeting in December.

Firth had the audacity to stand up and ask a few pertinent questions about who did what, when and who knew what, when.

This was too much for the power-crazed fireman who has not the faintest idea of what is meant by political accountability.

He hit the roof at Firth's questioning and berated him in his customary 'angrily chewing a wasp' manner for daring to ask questions of "The Leader of the Council".

(Entertainingly, Bradley has become so puffed-up with his own self-importance that he has now taken to referring to himself in the third person! eds)

Meanwhile, his fireman lieutenant Steve Hurst, who faces trial on election offences in June, made a mental note of Firth's transgressions.

Bradley, Hurst and the Storeyteller then met secretly with Old Swan colleagues Keith Turner and the appalling and totally beyond redemption Bernie Turner, to plot Firth's downfall.

An extra reason for knifing him (apart from the Clueless connection of course, eds) was Bradley's claim that Firth had leaked "The Leader of the Council's" email to CoverUp demanding the Harbarrowboy's head over Mathew Street.

So off went Firth's head instead.

What is significant about today's Daily Post story is that it obviously comes from deep inside the Lib Dim group and reflects extreme unhappiness at Bradley's bully-boy tactics.

Expect more dissent to be publicly voiced soon.

We turn now to the deselection of another Lib Dim councillor - Ann Hines - from West Derby after 14 years.

The Fireman was desperate to keep Hines in place because of her compliant, no-questions-asked obedience to whatever he said.

So all manner of extraordinary tricks and manouevres were pulled to ensure Hines was re-selected as the Lib Dim candidate in May - which she duly was.

However this was too much for her two West Derby colleagues, the semi-detached Stuart Monkcom and Norman Mills who had been extremely critical of Hines's work-rate and attendance record.

They complained to the Lib Dim's nationally about Bradley and Storeyteller's role in this cynical stitch-up.

Astonishingly, their complaint was upheld by the national party who ordered that the West Derby party go through another candidate selection.

This was yet another humiliating smack in the chops for the Fireman, especially when, in the re-run, Ann Hines was duly-deselected.

Imagine his barely disguised fury at this turn of events.

Coming soon: It's Grand National time - so who are the runners and riders in The Lib Dim Succession Stakes?

WEB OF INTRIGUE SHOCK: THE HARBARROWBOY IS FORCED TO DITCH THE PIX!

2008-03-12T23:00:00.003Z

We bring you shocking tidings from the world wide web, dear readers.

Self-styled Events Expert, Jason Harbarrowboy has been forced to remove all of those splendid Events photographs from his new web site.

Harbarrowboy Associates were forced to delete the offending pictures when threatened with legal action by solicitors acting for the estimable Liverpool Events photographer Dave Evans.

Mr Evans, who is an excellent and notable lensman of this parish, had taken all the pictures on behalf of the Liverpool Culture Company.

So he was astonished to discover that Mr Harbarrowboy had pinched the lot to put on his new business web site.

Naughty Jason, who was also forced to remove all mention of working for the Firefighter Games after Lib Dem councillor Eddie Clein cut-up rough, has been rocked by this second blow.

Now his web site is looking particularly barren, minus all photographs of any distinction. All the pictures are taken from library stock or have been loaned by his mates in Virgin (see above). So its a pretty poor, unimpressive and amateur hour show for the £150,000 a year former chief executive of the Liverpool Culture Company, who the city council paid off with £250,000 of council taxpayer's money.

We do not know how this almost comical turn of events fits in with Jason's proud web site entreaty:

For first class, practical and excellent advice contact us to see how we can help you.

But our first class, practical and excellent advice to him would be this:

Stop pinching other people's work and passing it off as your own, you jerk.

Meanwhile Jason's clients are still 'Coming Soon'.

THE HARBARROWBOY CAUGHT IN A WEB OF INTRIGUE - BUT HE STILL POCKETS ANOTHER PAY-OFF!!!

2008-03-03T22:06:00.008Z

STRANGE goings on at the web site of Harborow Associates, which launched our Jase's new career as self-styled supremo of cancelled cultural events.

First his web site claimed that the World Firefighter Games was amongst the Harbarrowboy's flood of eager new clients, clamouring for his dubious services.

Lid Dim leadership hopeful Eddie Clein, a member of the Fire Authority, was suitably outraged and went on the radio to denounce Jase and complain about the web site in no uncertain terms.

"I shall be protesting in the strongest possible terms,"the ill-advised Clein told Roger Phillips. "I shall be demanding that he does not work for the fire authority in promoting this world class event. It does not inspire confidence when Mr Harbarrowboy is away in Spain half the year," he added.

Or words to that effect.

And with that, the plug appears to have been suddenly pulled on Jase working for the World Firefighter Games.

And all mention of the gig was subsequently removed from his web site.

What Councillor Clein fails to have realised is that his surprise intervention leaves the way wide open for some conscientious member of the public, or member of the council, to submit a complaint to the Standards Board against him.

To us, it looks like an open and shut case of Councillor Clein abusing his position as a councillor to interfere in a, no doubt, "perfectly proper" business relationship between the fire authority and the Harbarrowboy.

We gather that as a result of Clein's complaint, the fire authority have now been forced to pay Jase off until the summer when the Games are due to be held.

To make sure that Jase would go quietly and uncomplainingly.

The amount handed over? We are told Jase trousered £15,000 from Fireman Bradley's fire service.

Ironically.

Another nice little earner, anyway.

At this rate, the Harbarrowboy could make a living simply out of pocketing pay-offs and never have to leave the hacienda at all!

Meanwhile the list of clients on Jase's web site is now completely empty.

It only bears the rather forlorn promise, under Our Clients of - "coming soon".

But there is worse to come.

Jase is now being threatened this week by solicitors acting for well-known Liverpool events photographer Dave Evans.

They have warned they will take legal action against the Harbarrowboy unless he removes Mr Evan's rather excellent pictures from the web site.

Mr Evans took the pictures and provided them copywrite free to the Liverpool Culture Company.

Not Harborow Associates.

So Mr Harbarrowboy should not now be using the photos for his own personal business gain, should he?

So stand by for more gaps on the web site in the near future.

All of which is enough to almost make you sorry for our Jase. Almost.

We can only observe that it's hardly what you would expect of Harbarrow Associates, who proudly boasted on the web site:

"A team of world-class professionals have been pulled together to offer a range of services specialising in sport, leisure, tourism, events and culture for the public and private sector. Jason and his team have a unique range of experience in the sector areas and have consistently provided eye-opening results on a range of different projects and campaigns. Our team have a track record second to none and results proven over time."

AS THE COST OF THE MACCA CONCERT CLIMBS ABOVE £7.5MILLION, WE BRING YOU JASE'S SALTHOUSE DOCK SCHEME.....

2008-02-23T15:20:00.005Z

While we're on the subject of the Harbarrowboy....
Below is his back of an envelope Briefing Report on the ill-fated plan to stage the McCartney Concert in Salthouse Dock (remember? the one where the Culture Company were going to stun all the fish and put them in a giant goldfish bowl, eds?).
While the amount of bullshit in the report below is truly astounding, it is worth reading all the way through.
From what we hear it will give you a full insight into the preparations now underway and the spiralling cost of the Macca concert at Anfield.
And it will help you to fully appreciate the gob-smacking stupidity of the people at the city council who are still in charge.
Particularly worthy of your attention - as the bankrupt city council now wrestles with a £60million hole - is the 'back of an envelope budget' that £150,000-a-year Jase has drawn up.
Thrill to some of the completely fictitious estimates he has made for revenue!
How many of these are going to come true for the Macca concert at Anfield eh? Eh? Eh?
We will not mention the totally unsubstantiated figures for estimated costs which Jase appears to have pulled completely out of thin air for the entertainment of CoverUp and his cabal.
They were so obviously and woefully short of the mark that the Salthouse Dock plan had to be scrapped six months later.
However, we learn that the McCartney concert is already costing the city council £7.5 million - but is likely to hit double figures before long.
We shall be returning to this subject in the very near future.
In the meantime, read the Harbarrowboy's report and weep - it will certainly give you little confidence in Jase and his Associates if you have been stupid enough to become one of his new clients....

BRIEFING NOTE
TO: Executive Management Team
SUBJECT: Liverpool Sound Music Event
DATE: 20 March 2007
OFFICER CONTACT: Jason Harborow
Purpose
The purpose of this paper is to provide the EMT with background on The Liverpool Sound music event and gain endorsement of the strategic direction.
Background
a) The Event Overview
The Liverpool Sound will be a unique once in a lifetime festival to celebrate Liverpool’s global status as The World Capital of Pop, featuring events all around the city. The climax will be a spectacular concert broadcast to the world on bank holiday Monday, 26 May 2008. This concert will have a unique atmosphere as a live broadcast, in a world heritage setting. A surprising show with world famous contemporary stars who can talk of how the Liverpool music scene inspired them and their music and how that music has travelled around the world and come back home to be redefined in the place it was born. An international concert, world-class musicians, funny and famous hosts and a fantastic waterside location, all add up to a never to be forgotten moment in time. Where better to celebrate the sound of Liverpool – than in a place from where the city began. Salthouse Dock will become the biggest temporary stage and seating structure this country has ever seen seating over 25,000 people and giving the illusion that both artists and audience are floating on the pool that is Liverpool. The city itself becomes the frame for the stage. Behind the Liver Building, to the side the World Heritage site of the Albert Dock and from the stage a panoramic view of the City Cathedrals and the brand new centre.Less than a hundred years ago most of Europe travelled through Liverpool to get to America indeed nearly a third of all Americans can trace their family’s journey back to this port. From its origins as a slave trade port, the exotic was always part of the fabric of the city. As one of the first multicultural cities in the country the unique acceptance of the different in Liverpool meant that when “The Beatles” stepped off the plane in America and proudly talked about specific “Black” songs that inspired them it was a crucial paradigm shift for the way that Black music was perceived in America. If Liverpool loved this music then so could all of America. The musical links between Liverpool and America are incredibly strong and this concert will be an international demonstration of how this city has been one of the biggest influences in the world of popular music over the last 50 years.
b) BBC Engagement
The BBC is fully supportive of the event and are intending to provide 2½ hours of live coverage on BBC1 on 26 May, 2008 (May Bank Holiday). Radio TWO are planning to spend a week in the city and Radio ONE are also very interested and are researching the John Peel links that could provide special programming for them.
c) Artists
The key Liverpool artist (Macca, ed) is committed to the project and is providing personal support in the approach of key international and UK artists. A preferred participant list has been developed (with a priority shortlist) and approaches are currently being made. This process will take several months and there will certainly be additions and changes as the process unfolds. Booking artists of global stature always takes time and the key to this event being successful is the element of surprise and excitement when the line up is finally announced. A carefully executed PR plan for creating a real demand for ticket sales is vital and any supposition prior to the chosen dates could put in jeopardy all artist negotiations that have to happen behind the scenes.
d) Location
Following a review of all potential locations in Liverpool it was determined that Salthouse Dock would be the perfect option given that it is an iconic location in the heart of the World Heritage site and that it will provide an unparalleled, spectacular backdrop to television that will be beamed nationally and internationally. In one single camera sweep you can tell the story of the city. It is a unique skyline that can only be Liverpool. Music concerts are great for the international broadcast market, but to stand out from the crowd you need a great line up, a great atmosphere and a unique never to be repeated occasion. The Liverpool Sound ticks every box.The proposal is that both the concert stage and the spectator seats will be placed within Salthouse Dock which will give the impression that both are floating on the water. This will help create spectacular television and will showcase Liverpool’s waterfront.
Much work has already been done with dock stakeholders and consultants and it has been confirmed that these plans are feasible both from an engineering and dock operation perspective. We are still to finalise the formal license agreement with GSE and we expect that within the next few months.
e) Location Contingency
We have identified an alternative location (Queen’s Dock) as a contingency. This area was originally selected by Barrie Marshall as an alternative location for PM’s concert in 2003 when there were issues with King’s Dock. Plans and costs are currently being explored.
f) Additional Concert
We are currently planning that there will be a concert on during the weekend just prior to the key event. The purpose of this event will be to provide the BBC with a rehearsal evening at the venue, provide an opportunity for key international and Liverpool artists to perform at Salthouse, give more people a chance to experience a concert at the venue and provide another revenue stream to help offset the costs of creating the Salthouse Dock venue.
g) Music Festival
Given that a number of international artists will be coming to Liverpool some time in advance of the Monday concert, there is a unique opportunity to showcase these and other key artists across the venues of Liverpool in the week leading up to the concert. Initial discussions with television and radio broadcasters have also been very positive regarding their interest in these pre-concert gigs.
h) Event Charitable Structure
To gain participation of some of the world’s greatest artists in this event, it is important that we create a charitable dimension to the project so that the artists are compelled to perform for the cause as well as the uniqueness and profile of the event. Discussions have already been held with both LIPA and Nordoff Robbins (a global music charity that is widely supported by the global music industry) and they have confirmed their support of the event.We will be working with them further to identify the nature of the support and how we can collectively create a legacy for Liverpool and the UK. They also have realistic expectations on the scale of any potential support given the anticipated costs of staging the event. They are also very excited about the potential from national and international exposure.Whilst we are budgeting for a slight surplus on this event with the expectations that an element of this will go to the charities, we have budgeteda guaranteed commitment to the charities, which will both are important to the artists and the media. This is included in the budget outlined below.
i) Company Structure
We are currently exploring with Hill Dickinson the best strategy for the structure of the entity that will both manage the key elements of the event as well as provide a charitable dimension to the overall structure. The current thinking is that a trading arm be established with surplus revenue following all identified expenses transferred to the charitable entity for distribution with agreed protocols.
j) Procurement
The procurement process recommended by the LCC Procurement team will treat the events as four distinctly separate areas:
• Auditorium Construction (Salthouse Dock)• Event and Technical Production• TV Productions and Artist Management• Venue Management
The Auditorium Construction would be a capital expenditure.
The Event and Technical Production will involve all elements of the event production including all associated equipment costs and staffing.
TV Production and Artist Management will consist of all equipment and staff costs for the production of the broadcast in all of its forms (live transmission, webcasting, CD and DVD) as well as all associated costs for the artists involved.
The Venue Management will involve all peripheral costs (staff, barriers, fencing, facilities including toilets) for both the Salthouse Dock event and any other activity across the city.
k) Key Staff
It is important to note that key staff will be required for this event to support the Culture Company team and this has been included in the outlined budget. These include:
• Executive Producer: This person has been in place for approximately 9 months, has already played a major role in developing this event. This person will be focused during the actual event primarily on the television and other broadcast production liaising with the BBC and other international broadcasters.(we shall return to this person soon, eds)
• Event Producer: This person will manage the staging of the event and all technical elements
• Musical Director: This person will be responsible for all the musical elements of the event including working with the Liverpool RoyalPhilharmonic Orchestra and other music partners in Liverpool
• Auditorium Construction: This company will lead the construction of the stage and seating within the Salthouse Dock
• Venue Management: This will be undertaken by the Culture Company Events Team
• Concert and Festival Promotion: We will be shortly inviting interested companies to support us with the promotion of both concerts (with a clear focus on the May Bank Holiday) as well as the Festival leading up to the weekendl)
Launch and Promotional Support
The current plan is that the event will be publicly launched at the end of September by the significant Liverpool artist. (Macca, eds) Given that the opportunities to purchase tickets will be limited (capacity of 25,000) this launch will include a call-to-action for all those who are interested in purchasing tickets to register via the Liverpool.08 website where their details will be captured and a lottery will be conducted with those individuals then contacted to purchase tickets. This has been the normal process for both the Olympic and Commonwealth Games’ Opening Ceremonies as well as recently for Glastonbury. Prior to any lottery, allocations will be made to ensure that a significant percentage of the tickets are available to local people. This process will be developed further and will need LCC endorsement of the strategy.The launch will receive significant global and national coverage and will provide a perfect platform to build awareness of Liverpool 08. A national marketing effort will also be required to support the launch to help maximise the response.
To begin preparing the ground for this launch we are planning for the ’08 website to have a World Capital of Pop page that will play selected Liverpool Songs and this page can then be used to get chat room discussions going on the songs that best sum up the spirit of the city. This is a great opportunity to involve everyone in the city in a discussion about what makes the city unique and why it is the World Capital of Pop.
From September, alongside the ticket launch, each month the 08 site will list a top ten from well known Liverpool faces e.g. Steven Gerrard, Daniel Craig, Anne Robinson, Johnny Vegas etc to build further excitement and interest. These contact details captured will provide a critical foundation for future national marketing efforts to encourage people to take part in 08 and come to Liverpool. It is anticipated that the launch and accompanying marketing effort could result in hundreds of thousands of enquiries.The Festival will also require its own marketing and PR effort, which will be developed following the initial launch
The Liverpool Sound Concert tickets (in some cases including accommodation and transport) will play a crucial role in encouraging ongoingmedia partner support and will be another catalyst to build further awareness and interest for Liverpool 08 and the 08 Programme Highlights.
The Business Plan
Event Revenue Estimates
These represent initial estimates of revenue and should be considered to be at the conservative end of the spectrum:
• Ticketing revenue: Anticipated revenue from two concerts with an average ticket price of £50 (this assumption has been supported by leading concert Promoters) £2.5 M
• Hospitality/concessions revenue: £ 0.25 M
• Merchandise/other: £ 0.15 M
• Global Television Rights. In addition to live BBC1Coverage, The Queen’s Jubilee Concert was able to secure sales of the global television rights. This was also a multi-artist event and The Liverpool Sound may have a more recognisable theme for international sales. The longest running radio programme in the US has been “Breakfast with the Beatles”. £1.25 M
• Event DVD: £1.0 M
• Local Broadcaster Support: Anticipated cost recovery from BBC £ 0.85 M
• Texting revenue: subject to securing a mobile telephone partner and protecting the rights of current CoC partners, there is a possibility of revenue from texting during the ticketing phase as well during the event £.0.25 M
• Additional sponsorship: subject again to protecting Current CoC partners, there is an opportunity to offset some production costs (eg travel, accommodation etc). Similar sponsorship was secured for the Queen’s Jubilee Concert and significant interest has already been received from companies who do not conflict with current CoC Commercial Partners £1.5 M
Total Estimated Revenue £ 7.75 M

Event Cost Estimates
The team consulting on this project have, between them, worked on numerous global television events of a similar stature (e.g. Live 8, Party at the Palace, The Prince’s Trust, Nelson Mandela 46664 Concerts from South Africa and The Grammies.) This expertise and experience is also backed with the engineering skills to manage specific aquatic concerts. With this detailed background knowledge of what it takes to create a global television event, we anticipate the event budget to consist of the following:
• Auditorium Construction £ 1.55 M
• Television Production and Artist Management £ 2.45 M
• Event and Technical Production £ 1.25 M
• Venue Management £ 0.85 M
• Marketing costs: Campaign to support PR efforts £ 0.3 M
• Charity Commitments £ 0.3 M
• Contingency £ 0.66 M
Total Estimated Costs £ 7.36 M
Total Estimated Surplus £ 0.39 M

'JASE HAS PROVIDED SOME EYE-OPENING RESULTS.....' YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN!

2008-02-21T21:57:00.003Z

THE LATEST UPDATE ON THE HARBARROWBOY....

Jase, who according to an anonymous whistle-blower knows all about the Fireman's Freebie, has meanwhile moved into new offices at the Corn Exchange.
He has also unveiled a web site for Harborow Associates, complete with details of his Spanish address - which he shares with one of his business partners, Roz Hughes.
Below is an extract from the site, if you can't be arsed looking.
Needless to say it is full of the most self-important bollocks that you will ever have the misfortune to read.
Together with the ugliest prose, including schoolboy spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.
Eeeeh bah gum.

Harborow Associates was established at the beginning of 2008. A team of world-class professionals have been pulled together to offer a range of services specialising in sport, leisure, tourism, events and culture for the public and private sector. Jason and his team have a unique range of experience in the sector areas and have consistently provided eye-opening results on a range of different projects and campaigns. Our team have a track record second to none and results proven over time.

FANCY A DAY AT THE RACES? SUITS YOU, SIR JASE!

2008-02-18T22:24:00.008Z

WE interrupt our hunt for Sheriff Bradley, the cowboy Fireman, to bring you exciting news of his bete noire - Jase the Harbarrowboy.

Seems Jase is still hanging around these here parts (quit the cowboy talk, we've moved on to another subject, eds) and has got himself a nice sinecure in Chester.

Jase is working for a £15,000 project fee for his old mucker Chris Brown, former Head of Marketing at The Mersey Partnership.

Jase is 'developing some event ideas' for Chester Racecourse for Brown who is boss of Visit Chester.

So we can now look forward to Chas Cole also being invited along shortly to see if he can attract any old 80's rock bands along to play at Chester racecourse.

As long as Phil and Chris can each wangle a gig for their lads, should be no problem.

Failing that Jase will no doubt suggest some mad rugby playing idea which can involve his many rough and tough mates.

Also look forward to some bizarre crackpot idea like those huge US trucks being brought along to churn up the racecourse and jump over 20 blondes (supplied by the Rotteweiller of course, eds)which have been laid head to toe along the length of the final furlong.

Or fierce ceremonial battles being staged down the home straight between Roman centurions and the invading barbarian hordes (voters from Liverpool, eds).

PS we couldn't resist including this advert that Jason has now sponsored for some posh suit makers in Liverpool. Follow the link, or read below... SUITS FROM JUST £695 TO £1,500!

Why Choose GUI?
Total convenience to suit you
GUI Couture represents the ultimate in convenience for busy business men and women. We will arrange a consultation for you at your office or home, or our fitting studio in Liverpool city centre. We make ourselves available to suit you, and will happily arrange appointments during weekends and evenings.
Premium quality from the fabrics to the finishing
Our range of fabrics is astounding, from pure new wool and cashmere to special blends incorporating Lycra for extra fit and comfort.
Quality is paramount in our entire offering from fabrics to finishing, and everything in between. Whether you select our basic Essential service, or our exclusive Platinum experience, GUI Couture never compromises on the quality of service or care received by our customers.
Looking great, every day
Ever dreamt of having your own style consultant? Now you can. Our experts will help you understand what suits you and why, and GUIde your choice to ensure you look great in everything you wear. For special occasions they will assist in designing a totally unique outfit so that you stand out from the crowd.
For organisations with teams of front line staff where initial impressions are everything, GUI Couture offers a specialist Corporate Image Consultancy Service, to ensure you get the best response from your customers every time.
Loose on the waist, tight on hips?
Do you know anyone who fits off-the-peg clothing? Most of us will be larger or smaller in the waist, back, shoulders or thighs, and longer or shorter in the arms and legs than the so called ‘norm’. Even people with the same measurements will have a different body shape, stance and stature, and GUI Couture will solve these problems of fit by ensuring each of our customers is professionally measured to create a garment designed to give you the ideal fit.
Feeling great from the minute you step out the door
Research has shown that successful people feel good about their presentation and image. Whether your job involves important meetings, sales pitches or interviews, GUI Couture can help you feel and appear more confident, boosting your potential. We will dress you for success, boosting self esteem and enhancing personal pride.
“I am delighted with the suit Guy tailored for me. It is a perfect fit and is everything I wanted it to be; well styled, individual, unique to me. The service Guy provides is first class."
Jason Harborow, Chief Executive of Liverpool Culture Company

WE couldn't make it up....

LATEST SIGHTING: COWBOY SPOTTED IN MATHEW STREET?

2008-02-14T22:57:00.005Z

Tony's

I snapped this long-haired bloke wondering up and down Mathew Street in the wee small hours of the morning, obviously the worse for wear. He was in his cups and muttering something about losing his barrow and something else about a camel. Then he slurred a few words I couldn't quite catch about forgetting all about his Ford. I presume he has a Mondeo? Although he was in no condition to drive anything, obviously. And he was clad in very strange full-length leather gear - not unusual for Mathew Street at that time of night, admittedly. Do you think the cowboy Fireman could have grown his hair this fast, or was it a wig? The 'tache is obviously a cowboy thing. He looked very lonely. The last time I saw him he had staggered all the way up to Dale Street and was hammering on the door of the Town Hall. Perhaps he is holed up inside there now? I think we should be told....

yours ever,

The ghost of Lee Forde

LATEST SIGHTING: FIREMAN BRADLEY IN CHARLIE'S HAWAIIAN 'T' SHIRT SHOCK....

2008-02-14T07:49:00.003Z

Dear Tonys,

He isn't at home at all. I spotted him just this last week in Hawaii - he has gone out there to visit his old mate Charlie, who has obviously coined it in so much from the city council, his property speculator mates and English Partnerships, that Charlie has now amassed enough wealth to start his very own cowboy ranch! As you can see, I managed to take a quick snap of the cowboy fireman Sheriff Bradley when he was out at the coral (I thought they were an up-and-coming new Liverpool combo? eds) admiring Charlie riding his latest mount. Although Bradley is obviously dying his hair now to try and disguise his exact whereabouts, close examination of my photo will reveal the truth. As ever.
Don't ask me what I was doing in Hawaii, it's top secret at the moment, but look out for some bold and imaginative new proposals for the Mersey on the front page of the Echo in the not too distant future....

yours

a developer friend of Charlie's

MYSTERY OF THE MISSING SHERIFF BRADLEY....CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER!!!

2008-02-12T22:43:00.000Z

The mystery of the cowboy Fireman's whereabouts deepens.

Seems that he may not have gone off to his brother in law's wedding in Mexico after all, despite what he told friends.

Nor may he have gone off on a walking tour of the Lake District, as he told his Executive Board on Friday.

Nor headed off to Jason's gaff on the Cala Menor in Spain, as claimed by one of Jase's mates.

In fact, it seems the Fireman Bradley could, amazingly, be sitting at home with the curtains drawn, after he apparently did a Greta Garbo act and told officials: "I vant to be alone."

One theory is that Bradley is firmly ensconsed in Wavertree, drinking Peroni and talking to the parakeet and not answering his council mobile phone (which is probably bugged anyway, eds)

Perhaps he is taking the opportunity to reflect on:

his own personal behaviour

his failure to keep his promises

his stabbing Lee Forde in public

and his failure to deal properly and decisively with the civil war between councillors and officers which is now a running sore seeping from the very fabric of the Town Hall.

We doubt, however, whether he will demonstrate any self-awareness whatsoever. Much less will he apologise to those he has wronged. Indeed it is revealing that no-one appears at all certain of his whereabouts at all. Because no-one can now believe a single word that he says.

ANOTHER SIGHTING OF SHERIFF BRADLEY IN NEW YORK!!!!!

2008-02-12T19:59:00.001Z

Dear Tonys,

Jase's mate is bullshitting you. Bradley is definitely in the Americas. I was on holiday in New York recently, desperately trying to find this twin city agreement with Liverpool, when out of the corner of my eye, I spotted this familiar figure racing past. It was the cowboy fireman for sure - he was behaving like there was a house on fire. Which there may have been. Or maybe he was just trying to avoid the DA? Here's the evidence, anyway.

lotsoflove

Suex

MISSING COWBOY FIREMAN: SHERIFF BRADLEY NOW SPOTTED NEAR THE HACIENDA IN SPAIN! CAN IT BE HIM????

2008-02-11T23:20:00.000Z

Dear Tonys,

Re:Your search for the missing cowboy fireman.
Me and my business partner Jase were having a break in Spain - he's been through a tough time recently and needed to put his feet up a bit - when we went out for the day to watch a carnival parade. As Jase was munching on an ice cream watching the parade go by, we spotted this menacing figure in the distance. He was wearing a mask so it was difficult to be entirely sure, but Jase went several shades of white (which shows how shocked he was) and nearly choked on his Mivvi. Now he swears blind it was Sheriff Bradley - and you know he's not a bullshitter. See what you think - sorry it's so far away but Jase has now promised to buy me a new camera with his winnings from the council. So not all bad news.

regards,

Jase's mate

SPOTTED!!!!!! THE COWBOY FIREMAN, SHERIFF BRADLEY ON THE STREETS OF NOOOO YAWKKK!!! CAN IT REALLY BE HIM?

2008-02-11T08:52:00.000Z

Dear Tonys,

We were recently on holiday in New York when we spotted a familiar figure walking down the sidewalk. But he seemed to have swapped his Everton scarf for rather more unusual attire. However, the resemblance was unmistakeable - the publicity-seeking, the arrogant swagger, the selfish streak a foot long (missus! ed). It was none other than Sheriff Bradley! Having escaped from the worst local council in the country, the cowboy fireman now appears to have begun a new career in New York. We knew that you and Chucklebutty would require some photographic evidence - so here it is below!

best wishes,

anti-cabalists on tour

COWBOY FIREMAN BRADLEY VANISHES - THE LONE RANGER SAYS - 'HI HO SILVER AND AWAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!

2008-02-09T12:52:00.000Z

MYSTERY surrounds the whereabouts of the cowboy Fireman Bradley today.

He vanished like the Lone Ranger soon after the city council was officially ranked the worst in Britain.

The mystery deepened after two contradictory explanations were given for his sudden disappearance (and recent failure to appear in cheesy city council photo opps).

The first explanation for his absence, which he gave to members of his Lib Dim Executive Board as he departed on Friday, is that he has gone off on a week-long 'walking holiday' (yes, we did say 'walking', eds) to the Lake District.

The second explanation, which we have from totally authoritative sources, is that he has in fact gone to Mexico (Viva Zapata! eds) for his brother-in-law's wedding.

The second explanation seems to us to be the most likely since, as we all know, there are already quite a few other cowboys 'down Mexico way'. But who is Tonto?

Perhaps the Lone Ranger is planning to be at The Last Gunfight at the OK Corrall?
Anyroadup, we are now launching An Official Public Appeal for anyone who spots the cowboy Fireman anywhere in the world in the coming week.

Please let us know where and when - preferably by supplying photographic evidence. (You can post us some links in comments, eds....)

The cowboy Fireman's disappearance is perfectly understandable however.

Pressure is mounting on all sides as the Standards Board begin their investigation into his plot to oust the Harbarrowboy.

The Lone Fireman has already been going around in recent weeks, stetson in hand and Tonto at his side, begging for character references from the great and good.

He will then submit any references he gets (and we shall name names, eds) to the investigators as part of his defence.

The Storeyteller tried the same trick three years ago, but it did him no good whatsoever.
Legendary solicitor 'Sexy Rexy' Makin has also become the first public figure to call for Bradley (and Hilton's) resignation.

This has been the view amongst the great and the good for some time - but none of them have had the bottle to go public.

Unlike Rex.

Interestingly, the arch hypocrite, arrogant and pompous Councillor Richard Kemp (not our favourite person then? eds) who has a lucrative little sinecure with the Local Government Association which enables him to hold forth on any subject in his typically puffed-up way, has also broken cover for the first time.

He has ludicrously demanded a public apology from the Audit Commission for ranking Liverpool as the worst council in the country.

This has only succeeded in attracting even more negative headlines.

Kemp does not yet appear to have learnt the first rule of Public Relations - when buried deep in hole, stop digging!

Readers will recall that Kemp - being the true liberal he clearly isn't - publicly argued for the original Tony Parrish's 'Liverpool evil cabal' blog to be banned and for the people of Liverpool to be denied the truth about Henshaw, McElhinney and Halsall.

Kemp is also the architect of the disastrous Boot Estate fiasco.

We would really, really, really, love it if he made a serious bid for Bradley's stetson.

For Kemp appears to be supremely arrogant enough to actually believe he should be Leader!

Meanwhile watch out for the spin machine going into overdrive to give the impression that Bradley is still present and correct in Liverpool.

Already a press release has been issued pledging that Bradley is personally going to plug the £60million hole in the council's budget.

This was a desperate attmnpt to convey an 'I'm in charge' impression after Bradley had run for cover from the Audit Commission and refused to be interviewed.

The press release was very helpful to those Labour supporters amongst us who would be truly horrified if the Government decided to bale the Lib Dims out of the mess and crisis they have created in Liverpool.

Why should the Labour Government save the necks of the Lib Dims in Liverpool?

But now that Bradley has promised to personally find the dosh and make the cuts, all the MPs can go back to representing their constituents.

Presumably.

No more crisis meetings with Hasitall and CoverUp Hilton ringing their hands and begging for help?

Presumably.

Bradley's going to sort it.

So that's alright then.

Meanwhile, we hope that Inspector Clueless will busily step into the breach to solve the mystery of the Fireman's continuing disappearance.

LATEST ON THE POOR STRESS-FILLED FIREMAN - UP TO THE MINUTE CONDITION CHECK

2008-02-05T21:30:00.000Z

GOSSIPERS worried about the condition of accused law-breaker Steve Hurst can rest assured.

It looks as though the Lib Dem Chief Whip's failing health is gradually improving, since he apparently felt well enough to attend a neighbourhood meeting this evening.

Councillor Hurst appeared perfectly relaxed and composed throughout the meeting and exhibited no signs of the unfortunate stress which has forced him to go on sick leave from the fire service.

This now makes it three council meetings he has felt well enough to attend while on sick leave from the fire service.

There is also some further good news for Councillor Hurst, who has so far escaped suspension from the Lib Dem group despite facing a criminal charge accused of election dirty tricks next March.

His Lib Dem colleagues are having a whip round to help him out (although he is still on full pay with public money from the fire service, of course).

If by some remarkable travesty of justice, Councillor Hurst were to be found guilty next month of producing a disgusting nasty and untrue little smear leaflet in Belle Vale last May, it would tend to show his Lib Dem colleagues to be a bunch of unprincipled, cynical, nasty little bastards who believe in nothing but themselves and cannot distinguish right from wrong.

REVEALED AMAZING NEW CURE FOR STRESS - ATTENDING AT COUNCIL MEETINGS!

2008-02-04T20:30:00.000Z

WHAT are we to make, dear Gossipers, of the appearance of accused law-breaker, Councillor Steve Hurst, at last week's full council meeting?

We only ask because, sadly, Hurst is currently on sick leave from the fire service with stress, pending his forthcoming and keenly awaited trial next month.

Hurst, the Lib Dem Chief Whip responsible for internal Party discipline, is, you will all vividly recall, accused of breaking election law by delivering a disgusting and thoroughly nasty little smear leaflet against the Labour candidate and her fireman husband through the letterboxes of houses in Belle Vale.

His understandable stress at the prospect of facing a trial with 10 witnesses ranged against him, seemed to miraculously disappear last Wednesday when he was able to take his seat in the council chamber, without any apparent ill-effects.

(Sadly, many public spectators were in need of emergency treatment after listening to Fireman Bradley, eds)

Even more astonishing was Hurst's appearance the week before at a day-long Planning Committee meeting.

Again, Hurst appeared to demonstrate remarkable resilience and good health.

Perhaps he finds attending boring council meetings an effective therapy for the terrible curse of stress-related illnesses?

If so, perhaps Hurst has unwittingly discovered a cure - and we should therefore make compulsory attendance at council meetings now immediately available on the National Health Service?

Any appalling suggestion that, in fact, Hurst is swinging the lead from the fire service and thereby ripping off the public who pay his wages, is of course, without any foundation, whatsoever.

For what could his motive for that possibly be?

Some suspicious people would suggest that perhaps Hurst was going to use his illness in mitigation to try to win a sympathy vote. Or even, perhaps, it would make him unfit to stand trial?

If the outrageous suggestion that Hurst was swinging the lead were true, it would then also have to be true that Hurst suddenly went on the sick when he was tipped off by an insider that Fire Chief Tony McGurk was about to suspend him, pending his criminal trial.

That couldn't possibly be true. For it would mean that Hurst did not want to attract more damaging publicity and increase interest in his trial through being officially suspended by the fire service.

And that would be an outrageous slur on a fine and upstanding public servant - rather in the mould of the beyond-reproach Fireman Bradley.

Meanwhile Fireman Bradley, who is obviously a far better judge than Fire Chief McGurk on what is appropriate behaviour (and is clearly better able to judge Hurst's innocence ahead of a trial), is still refusing to suspend Hurst from the Lib Dem group pending the outcome of the prosecution.

And nor has Cover Up yet launched a council investigation.

'ARE YOU 'AVIN A LARFFFFFF?'

2008-01-30T21:23:00.000Z

LIB Dim chief whip Councillor Steve Hurst has apparently come up with an unusual defence to the charge of breaking election law.

Word has it that Hurst is insisting that, rather than posting illegal smear leaflet s through the doors of homes in Belle Vale, he was actually removing them from the letterboxes.

"Are you 'aving a larfff?" said that funny little bloke from Extras.

Hurst's portrayal of himself as a public-spirited, anti-litter minded environmentalist, is of course, entirely plausible.

Indeed it is incredibly similar to the brilliant defence mounted by Jack the Ripper when caught standing over one of his lifeless victims, brandishing a bloodied knife in one hand.

"I was taking the knife out of her chest, mlud" protested Jack to the trial judge, "to help her breathe more easily. I just had to do it several times...."

Jack was of course promptly cleared of the murder charge and then went on to massacre a further 4787 ladies of the night with total impunity. (We have made all this up, of course, but you get our point, eds)

We await Hurst's trial in March with bated breath, when every detail of the disgraceful dirty tricks that happened in Belle Vale will hopefully emerge.

The seriousness of the charge facing Hurst has been underlined by the revelation that the Crown Prosecution Service decided to press a criminal charge against the Lib Dim councillor who is reponsible for internal party discipline.

You couldn't make this up! eds.

The police prosecution follows the extraordinary doorstep dust-up in Belle Vale ward during the local elections.

At least 10 witnesses are ready to be called to give evidence against Hurst.

Readers will recall that at the centre of the prosecution will be a fake leaflet purporting to be from 'a real socialist party - TUSP' which smeared the husband of Labour candidate, Pauline Watson.

Her husband is a local firefighter - like Hurst.

The leaflet was clearly an attempt to damage Labour's chances in the local elections - but thankfully backfired (literally).

Lib Dim Council leader Fireman Warren Bradley has so far failed to suspend Hurst, or even withdraw the whip from Hurst, even though he has been charged with a criminal offence.

Which reveals, interestingly, that Bradley has less of a clue about what constitues appropriate behaviour and Leadership skills than even Tory Leader David Cameron.

The leaflet also broke election law by carrying no imprint giving the name and address of the organisation which had printed and published it.

So far lazy chief executive Colin CoverUp has also done nothing about this - not even rousing himself from his slumbers to launch an official investigation (probably still too busy investigating the first Tony Parrish, ed).

We can only ask this question:

Where else in the world - but Liverpool - would a member of the ruling Cabinet be allowed to carry on in office when facing a criminal prosecution?

CAPITAL OF CULTURE PARTY NIGHT: THE ROGUES GALLERY

2008-01-13T20:48:00.000Z

BOTH former chief executives of the Liverpool Culture Company turned up on Saturday night for the Albert Dock party after the Arena show.

The 'off-sick' Jason Harborow arrived with an apparent retinue of supporters, including ex-Granada boss Sue Woodward and the woman pictured in our exclusive photo.

And Sir Diddy Henshaw was also present in the queue outside the Albert Dock with his wife Alison - although he appears to have turned tail and run for it, shortly after being spotted by our photographer.

Which was lucky for him, because according to reliable declarations from a string of enthusiastic volunteers, Henshaw would have ended up in the dock himself within minutes.The little man ducked and dived in the queue to avoid his photograph being taken and pretended to engage Professor Michael Parkinson in conversation as Lady Henshaw looked on anxiously.

Our spies then collected at the dock entrance, where Pete Price was interviewing random C list celebrities for telly, ready to give Henshaw an early bath.

Only to be left waiting, while Henshaw disappeared sharpish back to North Wales to count his money.

Still there's always a next time.

Between them, the two failed chief execs have trousered more than £600,000 of council taxpayer's money in the run-up to Liverpool, Capital of Culture 2008. Neither paid for their tickets to the Arena - their freebies were authorised by CoverUp.

But spare a thought for poor Jason.

He is in complete denial and appears to think he will be back in charge of CoC Up within weeks.

He went around the Albert Dock professing to anyone who would listen that he was 'fighting fit' and boasting of how much much he had contributed to the Arena show.

As someone remarked - "he might be physically fit, but it sounds as though he's gone a bit doo-lally".

The blog was well represented (purely on the grounds of reporting accuracy, you understand, eds)

Front line staff from the Culture Company were not invited to the piss-up - two free drinks and as much nosh as you could eat - but CoverUp was there, along with a myriad of 'senior' city council boring bureacrats and the usual Lib Dem councillors (so not much of a 'do' then? eds)

The Fireman stomped around, leaving his missus trailing, with a face like thunder (as well he might, according to tales from the fire engine room. Of which more follows soon, eds)

But there was no obvious sign of the Storeyteller.

However, as another spectator remarked: "He must be here if Bradley is here - there's no Punch without Judy".

Acting CoC chief executive, Donald Bullshitter was creeping up to Steve Broomhead from the NWDA, while Henshaw's former £500 a day personal spin 'matron' Alison Hastings, wife of Museums boss David Fleming, spent most of the evening constantly looking over her shoulder.

(Perhaps she was worried that Henshaw might need further attention? eds)

Other interesting snippets:

That PR bloke, Ben Lucas, from LLM, who trousered £323,000 for doing bugger all, was also loitering around some of the politicians looking for the next money-grabbing opportunity.
The great and the good had apparently been treated to a slap up meal before the show at the Malmaison as part of of a CoC Civic event. Labour leader Joe Anderson was not present.
A mate of Our Lord's, a bloke called Carl, who used to work with Redmond at Mersey TV, was given responsibility for organising the event. We don't know who gave him the go-ahead or why, or even if the event organisation was put out to tender.

And we have no idea how much it cost.
But we were reliably infomed it was in the region of £80,000.
And who paid?
Why you did of course.....!

WIRRAL EXCLUSIVE: MARK RONSON SAYS 'NO' TO LIVERPOOL, SO TOO DOES IAN BROUDIE...

2008-01-10T23:08:00.000Z

We reveal for your enlightenment, proposals by Ear to the Ground - the Manchester-based company - for the launch of Liverpool Capital of Culture tonight and tomorrow.

Unfortunately top record producer Mark Ronson - 'Valerie' etc - has turned down the opportunity to appear.

As has Ian Broudie, of the Lightning Seeds.

The Culture Company are desperately keeping the list of artists who will be appearing a closely-guarded secret.

So any appearances by anyone will look like a bonus.

Meanwhile, as you know, huge containers will open up outside St George's tonight spilling out Liverpool's cultural offering for 2008. Rather like vomit. (No mention of jobs or the millions wasted etc, eds).

There is huge speculation and joking in the Culture Company that at least one of the containers will contain all the people that have been hired and then fired (guest appearances by Jase, Henshaw, Robbing, etc).

The other will contain all the millions of pounds that has been wilfully and negligently handed over to them and wasted.

Meanwhile, this is a verbatim transcript of how the opening nights are being choreographed by the Mancs from Ear to the Ground.

(PS We know it's not really Gossip, but we couldn't fit this in anywhere else because all the blogs are up to date with important and good stuff and there is more to come. So stay posted, eds)

The provisional performance timeline;
18:30 Start of procession
Mark Ronson and the other artists will be on a ferry travelling down the Mersey. At key points there will be fireworks let off to animate the journey.
At the same time The RLPO will be split on to two open top buses that will lead 2 lantern processions to the arena. The processions will involve other celebrities and people from Liverpool.
19:08 St Georges Hall and the plateau : the city unites
The massed Liverpool artists will be welcomed by the people of the city in front of St Georges’ Hall. Projected clocks on the side of the building mark the countdown as aerial rockets are launched every one of the last eight minutes to the opening of the City of Culture.
Across the plateau there will be art installations and fairground rides, but until 20:08 they are still. Lights are focused across the buildings but again are dimmed, as sky trackers and huge spot lights scan across them.
Around the square huge close up projections of the faces of a cross section of Liverpudlians talk about what their city may become –their fears and hopes for the future.

Proposal
Aim: Mark Ronson to open the Liverpool Arena and European Capital of Culture
Date: 12th January 2008
20:00
The artists arrive and begin to flood out though the doors of the hall onto the steps, in front of the massed crowd.
The tiers of performers interspersed with two dimensional cut out figures of past and absent heroes, recall the famous cover of Sergeant Peppers Lonely hearts Club Band and Adrian Henri’s iconic Hope Street painting. This tableau of Liverpool artists, photoshopped prior to the event, is projected cross the building and accompanied by a soundscape of the people of Liverpool talking about what they so love about the artist’s work they have selected and how it has enriched their lives. These voices are layered and supported by the echoing sound of the sounds and songs of the city, its music, its football crowds, the bells of its cathedrals and favourite songs.
20: 05
A representative of the city makes a short inspirational speech, (so not the Fireman, then eds) inter cut by ever larger markings of the passing minutes. This speech welcomes the artists who the city’s people have chosen to honour at this historic moment (not Henshaw, not Storey, not McElhinney, not Hasitall, not Robbing, not Jase, either, eds) and what their work has meant to them.

It welcomes the artists and people of Europe and the world to come, enjoy and savour the culture of one of the world’s most unique cities.
20:08
The speech concludes, (thank Christ for that, eds) a wall of fountains lift off from the buildings, surrounding the audience in a ring of fire, as huge aerial shells light up the sky.
Through the smoke of this opening salvo a figure is illuminated high above the crowd
on the pinnacle of the Radio Mast. (Is it Cover Up? Perhaps it's Our Lord Redmond? eds)

He holds a guitar, and has a small guitar amp at his feet. (It's Hasitall!, eds) His image, projected across the projection screens, could be that of any of the tens of thousands of young aspirant guitarists, who have been the bedrock of the cities musical fame (Someone from Sirenz? eds)

After a moments pause he plays an opening guitar break. (Don't get too excited. It's Dave Stewart, Liverpool connection unknown. But that's a detail, eds)

As it echoes across the space, flares are released from the building tops all around the crowd, illuminating 200 young guitarists that appear on the rooftops surrounding the crowd below.
Together they play a ‘Liverpool Concerto for guitars’. Their silhouettes fill the skyline of St Georges Hall, Lime Street, the Holiday Inn, The Royal Court, St John’s Car Park, The Empire
As they play a further ten famous Liverpool guitarists are lifted into the air on scissor lifts between each of the pillars of the Hall.
Finally a rhythm section joins in as Ringo Starr is illuminated on the roof above the
Portico, with a support band made up of iconic Liverpool musicians.
From the Portico Roof, Cilla Black steps forward and welcomes the crowd. She is
joined by Atomic Kitten who perform a new version of ‘Step Inside Love’, produced by
Ian Brodie (They can't spell his name properly, but never mind, he's not tuurning up anyway, eds) which is released into the charts the following day.
As the ‘concerto ‘concludes, three cherry pickers rise up into the air. They carry Roger McGough, Levei Tefara and the young winner of a competition run through Liverpool
schools. They who recite three inter locking short poems commissioned specially for the event.
Then as fireworks lift off the building, Dave Stewart, and Ringo Starr perform their new collaboration ‘Liverpool I left you, but never let you down’ , from the St Georges Rooftop, again to be released as a single the following day and delivered at no cost to the event. (Utter Bollocks of course, eds)
There follows a commissioned piece for lone saxophone and a massed Liverpool choir climaxing with the lighting of a large, crane hung ‘08’ fire sculpture and an intense three minute firework display that lights up the sky.
The opening is finished and attention focuses to the evenings main performance.
21:30 The opening of the arena
For the press and VIP’s, the 1000 people who have won tickets through a city wide ballot, and the 7,000 ticket holders, the focus of the evening now shifts to the opening of the New Arena.
For its first public performance, the City commissions an extraordinary new work, a
contemporary reflection and ‘re-invention’ inspired by the musical heritage, reworked,
mixed, stirred and put together again in a radical new way, both a tribute to the past
and mirror to the future.
The concert brings together Mark Ronson, (oh no it doesn't, eds) Vasily Petrenko, the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra, choirs, a cross section of the city’s principal and most famous
musicians from the last forty years and a range of prominent musicians from around
the world.
Staged on an eight tier high and twenty metre wide scaffolding structure, it vertically stacks choirs, musicians and Royal Philharmonic Orchestra vertically in to the air, and through the use of theatrical scrims projects on to them, through them and over them a collage of extraordinary images of the city.
At the centre of the project sits Mark Ronson (oh no he doesn't, eds) While based in New York Mark traces his roots back to Liverpool where his family is from. While growing he became a close family friend of many of Liverpool’s most influential musicians. Today, as a producer
and DJ he has become one of the most influential figures in contemporary music and
production. (But he won't be in Liverpool anyway so it doesn't really matter, does it? eds)
His speciality is the reinvention of songs of the past, fusing them with new beats, rhythms and influences and working with a range of the world’s most prominent vocalists and artists. Past work has included re-workings of ‘Hey Jude’ and the Zuton’s ‘Valerie’ re-recorded by Amy Winehouse. He currently has a number two in the charts, a recreating of a Smith’s song, and an acclaimed new album ‘Versions’. (Good idea (ish) but he isn't here is he? eds)
Mark will work with classical composers, the RLPO and wide selection of contemporary and popular musicians and singers to create this re- imagining of the cities music, a homage its power to inspire new generations of artists. It will range from early traditional Liverpool songs and lullabies, through the songs of the Mersey Sound, to Eric’s and Cream and unsigned new Liverpool bands. It will feature many of the most loved son and daughters of the Liverpool music scene and integrate spoken word and text, featuring the array of writers, poets and playwrights for which the city is famous, figures such as Roger McGough, Willy Russel, Alan Bleasdale and Jimmy McGovern. ('Who invited him then?' - Joe Riley)
The selected song line will be ordered and chosen in such a way to tell the story of the city and the influences that will forge its identity and future, as it explores different ways to re-invent and re-generate itself. (Utter bollocks - ways to waste taxpayers money, eds)
This story will be visually told through a collision of images drawn from the amazing range of visual artists, film makers and photographers who have been inspired by the city’s qualities and identities. It will draw widely on the current Tate exhibition ‘The Centre of the Creative Universe’.
However, like the music, these images will be forged together, in new ways and forms,
manipulated and re-invented with the latest developments in digital film technology, and cutting edge artists from the city.
Initial thoughts for songs include
1. The Beatles Eleanor Rigby
2. The Zutons Valerie
3. Elvis Costello Shipbuilding
4. Echo and the Bunnymen Killing Moon
5. The Farm All together now (hey, that's us! eds)
6. Space Female of the Species
7. The Las There she goes
8. The Undertones Teenage Kicks (John Peels Favourite Song)
9. George Harrison My Sweet Lord
10. Paul McCartney Live and Let die
11. The Real Thing Can you feel the force
12. The Coral Bill McCai
13. The Dead 60s Riot Radio
14. Cilla Black Step inside
15. K Klass Let me show you love (last song played at cream)

There is a further list one the last page.
We need Marks input on songs that he feels his unique style would do the most justice. These are quite famous songs and should only be looked as a starting point.
The inevitable conversations between Mark and other artists will lead to gems being uncovered that will produce a truly unique performance. (ie, 'we have no idea what to do next,' eds)
There is the potential to use other songs not from Liverpool but performed by Liverpool artists
It is important that the whole evening does not rest on the legacy of The Beatles.
The quality of artists that collaborate on the evening is crucial to the success of this event, using Marks contacts alongside our own something great can be achieved. (But won't be, because Mark is not doing it, eds)
23:00 Performance over
Rehearsal time
We would imagine 4 full production rehearsals taking place in the Arena with the
orchestra 8th – 11th January.
It is possible to arrange a number of days working with the RLPO whenever Mark is available.
It is also possible to arrange meetings between Mark and Vasily Petrenko the principle conductor of RLPO
Performance Rights
We have a dedicated lawyer who will sort out the publishing rights for the chosen songs
Fee
The CD and DVD rights are to be negotiated and will form part of the negotiations of
Marks fees for the studio, rehearsal and performance. (And there's the rub, eds)
Audience
10,000 seats at the arena
The provisional allocation is
1,500 VIP / rider (oh aye, who is this lot then? Will Tony Parrish get a seat? eds)
1,000 giveaways to the people of Liverpool (Gee thanks, eds)
7,500 paid seats
Hospitality packages are available and are still to be negotiated.
40,000 people around the city watching on large screens (high dependency on weather
in January) (This figure appears to have gone down to 25,000, eds)
Promoter
Liverpool Capital of Culture will be promoting and ticketing the whole event and taking the revenues. (With The Rottweiller's LDL, raking off their mark-up, eds)
The Liverpool Capital of Culture will be underwriting the whole event and taking out event and cancellation insurance
Production
The event will be produced by Ear to the Ground.
Once contracts have been signed EttG will be the sole point of contact for the event
Media Coverage
To be decided upon Mark and other artists involvement
Next Steps
To organise a face to face meeting with all parties to finalise the contracts as soon as possible
Background
Nigel Jamieson
Nigel Jamieson is one of the world’s leading event and theatre directors.
His work has included creating the central component of the Opening Ceremony of 2000 Sydney Olympics Games, directing six segments of 24 hour worldwide Millennium Broadcast, and Artistic Direction of the 2002 Closing Ceremony of the Manchester Commonwealth Games.
He directed Jose Carreras at Ankor Wat ,Cambodia, has worked at the Royal National
Theatre, and created the London Festival of New Circus and the London International
Workshop Festival. His recent production ‘Honour Bound’, about Guantanamo Bay
opens its2007 European Tour at the Vienna Festival prior to a major tour culminating
at London’s Barbican Centre.
Ear to the Ground
Ear to the Ground is an events agency that conceives and produces experiential activity using its understanding of contemporary culture.
They confidently combine innovative concepts with a solid production foundation to inspire both clients and audiences.
The company was formed in 2002 by Jon Drape and Steve Smith. They met in the legendary Hacienda where Jon was the in house venue manager and Steve had filled it with one of his many club nights. That was then, today Ear to the Ground has a wide portfolio of events ranging working across many sectors, art, fashion, film alongside music.
David Norris will be leading the project from Ear to the Ground.
Richard Mc Ginnis
Richard Mc Ginnis is a Liverpool based promoter with over 11 years experience in the city. Behind Liverpool success stories Chibuku & Circus, through these events has won every major dance music award out there from Mixmag club of the year to BBC Radio one House Rules Club of the year. Richard is also talent booker for the legendary Liverpool dance festival Creamfeilds now in his 4th year as talent consultant as well as being one of the owners of the extremely successful Manchester based Warehouse Project at Boddingtons. In 2006 alone he was behind no less than 200,000 ticket sales
Liverpool Culture Company
The Liverpool Culture Company is the organisation set up by Liverpool City Council to
deliver the culture programme up to and beyond 2008 (God help us, eds)
They are working closely with all their stakeholders - including cultural organisations, communities, artists, schools, businesses, commercial partners, funders and our fellow Merseyside boroughs - to help Liverpool shine on the world stage by delivering the best-ever European Capital of Culture in 2008.
Liverpool Culture Company has a broad remit and the definition of culture covers everything from artistic performance to heritage, health to tourism.
European Capital of Culture
The European Capital of Culture is a city designated by the European Union for a period of one year during which it is given a chance to showcase its cultural life and cultural development. A number of European cities have used the City of Culture year to transform their cultural base and, in doing so, the way in which they are viewed internationally.
Conceived as a means of bringing citizens of European Union closer together, European City of Culture was launched on June 13, 1985 by the Council of Ministers on the initiative of the Greek Minister of Culture Melina Mercouri. Since then, the initiative has been more and more successful amongst European citizens and has had a growing cultural and socio-economic impact on the numerous visitors it has attracted.
The Song List
ARTISTS SONG TITLE
Boo Radley Wake Up Boo
Cilla Black Liverpool Lullaby
Classic song In My Liverpool Home
Echo and the Bunnymen 7 Seas
Echo and the Bunnymen Killing Moon
Elvis Costello Shipbuilding
Elvis Costello I can't stand up for falling down
Frankie goes to Hollywood Relax
Frankie goes to Hollywood Two Tribes
George Harrison My Sweet Lord
Gerry and the Pacemakers Don't Let the Sun Catch you Crying
Gerry and the Pacemakers Ferry across the Mersey
Gerry and the Pacemakers You'll Never Walk Alone
Isaac Hayes I love Music
Jimmy Osmond Long Haired Lover from Liverpool
John Lennon Power to the People
John Lennon Starting Over
John Lennon Whatever gets you through the night
John Newton Amazing grace
The Undertones Teenage Kicks
Julian Cope World Shut yer Mouth
K Klass Let me show you love
Ladytron Seventeen
Lighting Seeds/Ian Brodie Footballs Coming Home (Football moment)
Lightning Seeds/Ian Brodie Marvellous
Marc Almond/Gene Pitney Anyone who had a Heart
Paul McCartney Live and Let Die
Pete Wylie Heart as big as Liverpool
Screaming J Hawkins You Put A Spell On Me (Listened to by the Beatles)
Space Female of the Species
The Beatles Come Together
The Beatles Revolution Cream
The Beatles Working Class Hero
The Beatles Magical Mystery Tour
The Beatles Yesterday (Ray Charles Version)
The Farm Altogether Now
The La's There She Goes (Gabrielle's version)
The Mighty Wah! Story of the Blues
The Real Thing Can you feel the the Force
The Real Thing Children of the Ghetto (Mary J Blige version)
The Zutons Valerie
Possibly using just the rifts and samples of The Beatles songs to abridge the performance.

(And the cost...............? eds)

GRUDGE MATCH: ANDERSON STUFFS IT UP BRADLEY 3-1

2008-01-07T00:26:00.000Z

EVERYTHING Fireman Bradley touches seems to end in tears at the moment.

Witness Saturday's keenly fought junior football tussle between Dingle Villa and Mosspit Juniors.

Who was that familiar fella running the line during the game (and coming in for some fairly direct critiscism from spectators about what he could do with his little flag?)

Step forward none other than our Mathew Street hero, the Fireman Bradley, coach to Mosspit Juniors, whose son keeps goal for the side.

And who, on the other side, was that talented young central midfielder for opposition Villa?

Step forward, none other than Michael Anderson, son of Labour leader Joe Anderson.

Young Michael, the Villa skipper, had the greatest of pleasure in scoring the first goal against Young Bradley.

(You couldn't make this up, could you? eds)

Proud Councillor Anderson had more cause to chuckle when his lad's side easily ran out eventual 3-1 winners.

Any suggestion that MossPits are now looking for a new coach is entirely without substance. (But of course, the Lib Dems are, eds)

COST OF OPENING CEREMONY HITS £3MILLION - RINGO IS GOING TO HIT THE ROOF!

2008-01-06T23:43:00.000Z

THE cost of the opening ceremony is spiralling out of control and has already touched £3million.

That's quite an achievement, since only four months ago the official estimate for the opening ceremony was just £1.3million.

So the cost has already more than doubled and appears to be well on course to treble.

The Culture Company is throwing money at both the event in the Arena and the open air event at St George's (for us plebs, eds) in a desperate attempt to avoid a massive CoC Up.

It will be interesting to see how the city council explains this lack of basic financial control and management when it goes cap in hand to the Government asking it to bail out CoC to the tune of £20million.

It is the outdoor public event which, predictably, is causing most concern.

One of the highlights (sic, eds) is Ringo standing on top of the roof of St George's Hall to wave to the swooning crowds below. (Pictured - waving, not falling, eds)

(And thereby promote his new album Liverpool 8, eds)

But old Ringo is getting on in years now and is apparently getting a bit dodgy on his pins.

He apparently doesn't fancy scrambling across the roof like a teenage cat burglar. Some alarm has been expressed in the Ringo camp at the fate which might befall him.

So all kinds of extra safety measures are now being introduced to try and persuade Mr Starkey that he will be pefectly safe in the hands of the Coc Up brigade.

(If he believes that, he's dafter than he looks, eds)

One of the biggest financial headaches is that the CoC Up brigade failed to hire all the massive plant equipment that is needed for a major outdoor event.

So now they are having to pay over the odds and virtually bribe plant firms to come to the rescue.

Amazingly some companies have told them to **** off, after earlier experiences with the dolts in charge.

Anyway it's clear now, reassuringly, that Ringo never forgot Liverpool 8.

But whether he will be able to find the time in a busy promotional schedule to visit some of the three bedroomed council houses in Liverpool 8 which have still not got central heating (this is the 21st century isn't it? eds) is another question.

The city council certainly appears to have forgotten Liverpool 8.

Quite how many new central heating systems £3million could buy is anyone's guess, of course.

Still, the tenants of Toxteth can always jig about in their front rooms while they listen to Murkeyside or City endlessly playing Ringo's latest album in a desperate effort to take it to No 1.

We're sure that will keep the whinging tenants warm enough.

DONALD BULLSHITTER RETURNS TODAY...

2008-01-01T23:10:00.000Z

THERE will not be a warm welcome back today (Jan 3rd, 2008) for Donald Bullshitter who returns to the Fun Palace after two weeks holiday in the US of A.

'Acting' CEO Kris Donaldson, has been "out of the office'' since Monday 17 December.

Not bad in the run-up to one of the most important year's in the city's history, eh?

Bullshitter is paid £150,000 a year and has had an annual 10 per cent Performance Related Pay bonus since he was first appointed Marketing Director in 2004.

Which means he is now on more than £200,000 - and can still bugger off on a holiday just days before the Offical Launch of 2008.

He must be worth his weight in bull shit.

Sir Diddy Henshaw famously said of Bullshitter within weeks of his appointment that he 'would not pay him in washers'.

Amazingly Bullshitter has survived for the last four years despite his obvious incompetence - people are taken in by the American accent and think he must know what he is talking about.

Bullshitter will now be ready to tour every TV studio to get his face on our screens in 2008 - he is obsessed with self-publicity. And the simple hacks think his Stateside drawl shows Liverpool has gone all international.

In fact, it is Donaldson who is the mastermind behind the 'Look of the City' project, which the craven Echo publicised so dismally the other day.

This project involves covering up urban decay and council neglect with huge hoardings, so visitors think everything is hunky dory in Liverpool.

Part of this project also involves putting absolutely useless shite and drab hoardings in the windows of the boarded up houses on Edge Lane - well done Elisabeth Pascoe - as well as hanging even worse flags from the lamp posts.

Some of the crap flags have already been blown off, with the rest left tattered and torn by only mild winds.

Quite how much this lacklustre project has cost so far is anyone's guess and will be kept secret by the city council.

Interestingly, marketing staff at the Fun Palace who have been left holding the baby in Bullshitter's absence, have been told they can have all the holidays they want - but only in 2009.

Meanwhile a word of praise for one person - the NWDA's representative on earth in the Culture Company, one Bernice Law.

She has been working around the clock on the Official Launch to try and stop it becoming a total disaster.

By all accounts, she is not a bullshitter and has been trying her best against all the odds.

Clearly her boss NWDA Chairman Bryan Gray will have much to thank her for if she manages to pull it off.

There is another good thing to be said for her.

She has made it crystal clear to Fun Palace inmates that she has seen right through the Great White Hope - Our Saviour, Phil Redmond.

(Incidentally, perhaps we should re-christen him 'Our Lord' - since he is banking on a peerage in the next New Years Honour List, eds)

Bernice apparently finds Redmond an "insufferable, self-obsessed incompetent".

No news there of course.

But re-assuring that she has such good judgement.

'Our Lord' is meanwhile still wafting in and out of the Fun Palace, trying to hijack projects for his greater glory and to give the impression that he is in control.

Watch out for plenty more bollocks from him.

OH I SAY! WILL 'RANDY' NEWMAN BE NEXT????

2007-12-30T18:41:00.000Z

WILL Paul 'Randy' Newman be next to leave the Culture Company?

We ask because of authoritative reports from within the London Olympic Team that the CoC's Director of Communications (sic) has been touting for a new job with them.

One of our informants has told us: "I suspect Paul Newman will resurface in an Olympic role very soon."

Newman has apparently been angling for an Olympic job (lots more athletically inclined women, apparently, eds) for the last year.

A few weeks ago another well-placed Olympics source revealed that Newman had been in touch and had said that Liverpool had been a big mistake.

Newman told his contact that he had wanted to work on the Olympics all along (obviously learnt a lot from Donald Bullshitter, eds)

He rings them every few months looking for an opening.

However, Newman also appears to be hedging his bets.

Another recruitment agency has been touting Newman (also known as Leslie, after the recently honoured Phillips below, eds) for a well-paid position with a Government agency!

This is all the more strange, since The Harbarrowboy used to regularly tell anyone who cared to listen that one of the things he liked about Newman was his commitment to move to Liverpool! (the cheek of these bastards, eds)

Which, of course, he has still failed to do (keeps him conveniently out of sight from his wife at least, eds)

Newman, you will recall, was the self-appointed guardian of public behaviour who decided to try and get Joe Riley the sack for dozing off at the Empire.

Newman, known as 'Lesley' for his wandering ways, 'Carry-on-leering' and lascivious 'well, heeeelllll-oooo' greetings to any new women, tried to deny his involvement by repeatedly telling a bare-faced porky.

THE THINGS THEY SAY.....

2007-12-28T18:28:00.000Z

Liverpool 2008 Chief Executive appointed
The Executive Group of the Liverpool Culture Company Board today (Friday 24 March) announced the appointment of Jason Harborow as its Chief Executive.
36-year-old Mr Harborow has been the Culture Company's Chief Operating Officer for more than a year and will take up his new post from 1 April 2006.
Mr Harborow will be responsible for managing the delivery of a host of events and programmes between now and European Capital of Culture in 2008.
Welcoming Mr Harborow's appointment, Professor Drummond Bone, Chairman of the Liverpool Culture Company, said: "I'm very pleased that Jason has agreed to accept the unique challenges that go with this high-profile post. His strategic vision for the company alongside his proven ability to manage it on a day-to-day basis and his knowledge of the city will be a great advantage."
Cllr Warren Bradley, Leader of Liverpool City Council, said: "Jason has been instrumental in ensuring the Liverpool Culture Company is in the best possible position to maximise the opportunities 2008 represents. His ability to work with both the private and public sectors at all levels and his desire to succeed will be of immense benefit to the city for many years beyond 2008."
Jason Harborow said: "I'm delighted and honoured to accept this role. I'm particularly proud that we have such a good team in place for achieving the city's ambition of staging the best-ever European Capital of Culture. We're all firmly focused on delivering for Liverpool, the region and the UK."

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: FIREMAN BRADLEY IN SCROOGE SENSATION

2007-12-23T00:11:00.000Z

Click on the link below to see Liverpool's very own Scrooge in action.

He has cost the people of Liverpool a multi-million pound fortune with all the pay-offs of public money he has handed out to the 'Fuck Up and Fuck Off' brigade.

Click on the link below.http://www.scroogeyourself.com/?id=1703932085

(From an original idea by Liverpool Confidential, eds)

LOOKING FOR AN INCOMPETENT, MONEY-GRABBING TOSS-POT TO ****-UP EVERYTHING, DISAPPEAR INTO THE SUN AND RUIN YOUR CITY'S BEST CHANCE FOR A GENERATION?

2007-12-20T09:50:00.000Z

BELOW is Jason Harborow's CV.

The Harbarrowboy apparently drafted it earlier this year. But after he finally packed his bags for Mar Menor, he forgot that he had left it on his office computer in the Fun Palace.

Sharp-eyed readers will notice that Jase has left question marks against the number of his staff and budget. These were obviously irrelevant details.

We will leave you to make the appropriate comments in response to the bullshit and lies he tells.

And don't forget - this man fucked up so badly that he has left a £20million hole in the Capital of Culture budget. The Lib Dem city council has just paid him £250,000 as a reward.

ENJOY.

CURRICULUM VITAE

PERSONAL DETAILS

Name Jason A Harborow D.O.B. 12 February 1970

Address South Ridge
West Road
Prenton
Wirral
CH439RP
0151 678 8085/ 07715 487121

Jason.harborow@btopenworld.com

OVERALL PROFILE

I am a strong strategic thinker, organiser and Director with excellent experience, knowledge and success in commercial, marketing and operational management.

I have outstanding commercial management and negotiation skills and an attitude to deliver and succeed. I have proven budget and team management skills, able to motivate, enthuse and deliver a project with all key objectives achieved. An excellent communicator with a broad range of business skills, assertive and experienced, strategic in thought and strong in leadership and commitment.

A proven and successful track record in major events and a unique experience of management at senior level in the public and private sector.

CAREER PROFILE HIGHLIGHTS

Apr 2006 – Present Liverpool Culture Company
Chief Executive/Executive Director
Feb 2004 – Present Liverpool Culture Company
Chief Operating Officer

Responsible for the management and strategic Direction of the Liverpool Culture Company who are responsible for delivering the multi year programme of activity leading up to and beyond the European Capital of Culture Year in 2008. The organisation is responsible for all aspects of the programme including Tourism, Marketing, Event Management, Artistic Content, Communications, Income Generation, Creative Community Programme and Brand and re-positioning of the City. In the role I have full responsibility for relationships with all key stakeholders including Central Government and private sector partners, more details http://www.liverpool08.com/

Key achievements

Managing the start up of the business to multi- layered company with almost 100 employees
Re-structuring of company following departure of previous Chief Executive and Artistic Director
Directing launch of initial 2008 highlights to critical acclaim
Development and delivery of huge international events programme in all sectors
Developing Company Business Plan and Annual Delivery plan
Management of business with a annual turnover of at least £20million and 3 year spending profile of £95million
Securing commercial investment with 8 partners secured in first 12 months with at least £2million investment each
Secured 90% of the total budget required for the entire programme in the last 12 months.
Introduction of new City Brand and marketing, Public Relations, Public Affairs and communications strategy
Critically acclaimed speaker on marketing, commercial and cultural issues for major events. Keynote speeches presented at major international conferences
Management of Liverpool City Council Culture, Media and Sport Portfolio with a workforce of ? and budget of ?

Key skills

· Able to deliver results quickly and successfully.
· A clear understanding of all aspects of managing a business with the need for results.
· Strong strategic thinker and organiser to implement commercial and marketing strategy
· Excellent negotiation and presentation skills
· Excellent contract and legal awareness able to assess needs of clients and the organisation and creating positive partnerships

Sept 2002 – Feb 2004 RE:MEDIA PLC
Managing Director RE:ACTIV

Responsible for the management of all aspects of the RE:ACTIV company, one of three companies in the RE:MEDIA Group. The company is the UK s leading sports merchandise and licensing operator with contracts with some of the Uks and Europe’s largest sports brands. The company is also at the cutting edge of web commercialisation, brand development and implementation and ticketing marketing strategies.

Key achievements

Managing the start up of business to market leader in the industry in 11 months
Winning key National and International clients ranging from Aintree Grand National to European Champions League final, European Rugby Cup and Rugby Football League
Creating profitable business model
Establishing company as the number one provider of event and ecommerce merchandise solutions
Credited with changing g the approach to brand commercialisation through merchandise in sport.
Invited by Government agencies to visit West Indies to consult on WINDIES Cricket World Cup 2007.
Voted as a member of the top 42 under 42 young business people in the Northwest in 2003.

Key skills

· Able to deliver results quickly and successfully.
· A clear understanding of all aspects of managing a business with the need for results.
· Strong strategic thinker and organiser to implement commercial and marketing strategy
· Excellent negotiation and presentation skills
· Excellent contract and legal awareness
· Assessing needs of clients and the organisation and creating positive partnerships
· Good manager/team player

Jan 2001– Sept 2002 Manchester 2002 Ltd
Commercial General Manager 30 Direct Reports

Responsible for all commercial income generation for Manchester 2002 Commonwealth Games and PR and Marketing to support the commercial income activity.

Key achievements

· Securing and delivering dynamic brands in the form of sponsorship to the games
· Devising and implementing sales strategy for games income generation programme
· Introducing a cohesive and co-ordinated licensing programme and implementing a range with 500 products and 55 licensees
· Designing, developing and Managing the Uk’s largest ever-ticketed sports event. Achieving income target within 2 months, Sold 90% (900,000) of tickets setting new world record
· Creating and directing a national marketing and PR campaign for the Games ticketing Programme
· Working with key stakeholders to achieve results.
· Engaging and managing key Icons for the games – Ian Thorpe, Jonah Lomu, Denise Lewis, Jason Queally, etc.
· Appointed Games spokesman for official statements to press, radio and TV

Key skills

· Strong strategic thinker and organiser to implement commercial and marketing strategy
· Excellent negotiation and presentation skills
· Excellent contract and legal awareness
· Assessing needs of clients and the organisation and creating positive partnerships
· Good manager/team player

May 1999 – Dec 2000 Rugby Football League
Operations Director 30 Direct Reports

Responsible for the operational and logistical management of the Rugby League World Cup involving 16 senior nations and 6 emerging nations. Responsible for generating commercial income and marketing and PR programme.

Key achievements

· Delivered 40 games in 5 countries at 33 different venues over 3 tournaments
· Record commercial income, through sponsorship, and record attendances
· Media strategy that delivered a strong and consistent message

Key skills

· Planning and organisational skills
· Attention to detail in all areas
· Working to tight deadlines
· Keeping focussed on objectives and financial constraints

March 1998 – May 1999 JJB Sports
Stadium Director/General Manager 50 Direct Reports

Responsible for the development and project management of the JJB Stadium, JJB Soccer Centres and the JJB Health Clubs and hotel groups

Key achievements

· Completion of all sites on time and within budget
· Implementation of all operational procedures
· Implementation of marketing and PR plan
· Delivering key commercial partners and sponsorship

Key skills

· Strong performance management under tight deadlines
· Clarity in decision making
· Excellent communicator
· Financial management
· Workforce motivation and management

Jan 1987 – March 1998 Local Authorities
Various positions Various Direct Reports

Responsible for all aspects of leisure management issues including key management posts at two of the UK’s premier leisure facilities.

Key achievements

· Rapid career progression
· UK Leisure Manager of the Year 1996
· ISRM President 1998
· Development of the North West’s largest multi-sport venue
· Excellent commercial results
· Organisation and management of many national and international events

Key skills

· Commitment and enthusiasm
· Strong performance management under tight deadlines
· Clarity in decision making
· Excellent communicator
· Financial management
· Workforce motivation and management

CAREER HISTORY – Local Authority

EMPLOYER
DATES
POST HELD
Chorley BC
Jan 1987 –April 1992
Asst. Mgr/Comm. Officer
Leisure Officer Contract Management
Wigan MBC
April 1992 –May 1995
Contracts Manager/
Leisure Operations Manager
Wirral MBC
May 1995 – Jan 1997
General Manager – Europa Pools
Wigan MBC
Jan 1997 – March 1998
Robin Park Sports Centre General Manager

EDUCATION

Euxton Church of England Primary School Sept 1974 – July 1981
St Michael’s High School, Chorley Sept 1981 – July 1986

QUALIFICATIONS

11 “O” levels

FURTHER EDUCATION

Runshaw Tertiary College Sept 1986 – March 1987
Blackburn College (part-time) Sept 1988 – June 1989
Lancashire College of Agriculture &
Horticulture (part-time) Sept 1990 – July 1992

PROFESSIONAL QUALIFICATIONS

Diploma in Leisure Management
Institute of Leisure and Amenity Management Certificate
Institute of Leisure and Amenity Management Diploma
National Examining Board of Supervisory Management, Certificate in Leisure and Recreation (NEBSM)
BTEC Continuing Education Certificate in Sport and Recreation Management

MEMBERSHIP OF PROFESSIONAL INSTITUTES/ORGANISATIONS/ BOARD POSITIONS

Institute of Leisure and Amenity Management – Full qualified Diploma member – MILAM (DIP)
Institute of Sports and Recreational Management – Full member – M.Inst.SRM
Member – Deputy Prime Ministers 2007 Bicentenary Advisory Group on the Abolition of the Slave Trade
Member – The National Culture and Creativity Advisory Forum to London 2012 Olympics Games
Board Member – The Mersey Partnership Tourism Board
Board Member – The North West Tourism Forum
Board Member – Liverpool Culture Company
Board Member – The North West Development Agency Major Events Group
Member – North West Steering Group for the 2012 Olympic Games
Member of ISRM Northern Executive Board (President in 1998-1999)
Board member of Rugby League International Federation (1998 – 2001)

HOBBIES AND INTERESTS

I have a very keen interest in sport and culture; I enjoy watching live sport and experiencing major sports events.
.
I have been very fortunate to pursue my hobby, broadcasting, working on local, regional and national radio and TV as a presenter and producer.

I enjoy power boating and when time permits I enjoy lazy weekends on the Mar Menor in Spain!

My family are very important to me and I enjoy spending time with my wife and daughter

FURTHER DETAILS

If you require references or any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me.

SHOCK EXCLUSIVE: THE BARROWBOY, JASON ORANGE, TRUNDLES BACK TO THE HACIENDA

2007-12-17T21:14:00.000Z

THE Harbarrowboy has returned to his hammock in the hacienda for the festive season - after his brief 'keeping up appearances' return to the Fun Palace.

Jase's invisible man act has, remarkably, failed to stir even a second of interest from his former staff in the Culture Company.

He has not been seen since he popped in for half an hour to show his incredibly orange face.

Staff are all too busy trying to get the show on the road to be arsed about their former £150,000-a-year chief executive returning to Spain for another jolly.

No one cares what happens to him - if anything few appear to have even noticed his absence. (It's hardly as if the Culture Company has suddenly lurched from crisis to crisis since he disappeared post the Mathew Street debacle, is it? eds)

Typists in the Municipal Building who threatened to strike have now been re-assured by Cover Up that Jason Orange will too busy topping up his tan in the future to bother them.

(We've made this last bit up and included it anyway, cos it made us laugh out loud, eds)

So what is likely to happen now?

We have opened a special book on it:

1) Jase could return to a hero's welcome for the opening ceremony on January 11/12th.

(Unthinkable, eds)

2) Jase could turn russet brown.

(Highly likely, eds)

3) Jase could become a Continental cultural consultant and go around Europe conning Eastern Europe into taking him seriously.

(Possible, eds)

4) Jase could bring a barrow to Wimbledon next year, selling strawberries to go with his Spanish ice cream.

(Too obvious, eds)

5) Jase could stay on the sick for the entire duration of 2008 and pocket £150,000 a year, plus Performance Related Pay, for doing precisely fuck all.

(This would be no different from previous years, so we are ruling it out completely, eds)

6) Jase could sue the council for constructive dismissal and with his massive compensation award, buy a holiday home for the foolish Fireman in the Canaries as a gesture of gratitude.

(Even money on this, eds)

7) Jase could retire with a minimum two years salary (more than £300,000, plus Performace Related Pay, tax-free, eds) as the city council give him a bumper pay-off just to see the back of him while the foolish Fireman begs the local media to: "Move On/Forget About My Disastrous Blunders".

(Hot favourite, eds)

8) Jase sets up a consultancy with Sir Diddy, Robbing Archer, Chris Green and Kevin Johnston who have all taken huge pay-offs from the council, and laugh all the way to the bank at how they have ripped off the council tax payers of Liverpool for more than £1million.

(A dead cert, eds)

SHOCK EXCLUSIVE: WHAT IS THE COST OF THE OPENING EVENT?

2007-12-14T01:27:00.001Z

SO FAR, the launch event for Liverpool Capital of Culture 2008, has cost a cool £1.3million.
Now how many council house repairs, or jobs for unemployed Liverpool lads, or extra bobbies on the beat, could that pay for?

More follows soon.....

OPENING CEREMONY 'ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN', BUT NO ONE TO BLAME SHOCK

2007-12-12T22:15:00.000Z

Is the opening ceremony an accident waiting to happen?

That is the question facing safety experts as the wheels start to fall off the Harbarrowboy's launch vehicle.

There is now a mood of barely concealed panic in the Fun Palace as the realisation dawns that the Culture Company is just not equipped to stage such a major outdoor event.

Having lost Lee Forde through incompetence, staff are now being stretched to the limit by the huge number of extra events being planned for 2008.

Added to that is the mind-boggling ineptitude of some of the plans - for example, the launch event is due to feature acrobats abseiling and throwing themselves off the roof of St George's Hall while Ringo waves to the breathless millions (shouldn't that be minions? eds)below.

The Echo has of course conspired in this utter lunacy by making a public appeal for acrobatic volunteers - local nutters who fancy a bit of sky-diving and 15 seconds of fame (the amount of time it takes to fall from the roof to the pavement below and then expire on the ground after waving weakly to the CBS camera crews, eds).

Do you think if some poor imbecile gets hurt in this insanity, that the Echo will splash the next day on "'We are to blame' - admits shame-faced Editor"?

Will they bollocks.

They will wash their hands of responsibility like any other person who holds power in Liverpool.

But they have been thoroughly irresponsible dupes of the crackpots in charge of the Culture Company who think any Tom, Dick or Harry can happily abseil down the front of St George's hall without any proper training.

This is not Health and Safety political correctness gone mad.

This is about properly established procedures to keep people safe.

And God knows. in the city that suffered Heysel and Hillsborough. you would have thought some lessons had been learned about public safety.

Wouldn't you?

But no.

Aside from these very obvious safety concerns, there are major issues around public liability insurance, policing, crowd control - how many people are going to turn up expecting to get a personal audience with Ringo? - and damage and disruption caused to St George's and other historic buildings which will also have rooftop displays.

The astronomical cost is escalating by the minute - no official figures of course - and people are, literally, running around the Fun Palace like headless chickens trying to make it all stack up.

The NWDA's representative on earth, Bernice Law has now taken to calling 7.30 am emergency meetings to try and get a grip on things and turn it around.

But the clock is ticking and the pressure is mounting.

Particularly when the Culture Company proudly boast that CBS will be turning up to see Ringo live. (Or should that be live? eds)

Hopefully he won't have to step over any prone bodies on his way to the interview van.

Expect to see whole parts of the opening ceremony suddenly junked for no apparent reason and without explanation.

Meanwhile the architects behind this accident waiting to happen - Donald Bullshitter and Clare McCogloose amongst others - will evade all responsibility.

Just like the fine example set by Fireman Bradley.

After all, they have only had the last four years to plan this event. It has hardly come as a sudden shock, has it?

Some poor bugger in the events team will probably get all the blame, instead. As is the Liverpool Way.

But we issue this warning now.

If one single person - either a participant or spectator - is seriously injured during this opening ceremony or any other CoC event, we will make sure that, this time, the finger is pointed at very firmly at those responsible.

And we will not let you bastards get away with it.

We just hope we are proved wrong.

THE ICE CREAM MAN COMETH AND GOETH...AND HAS SOME FILING TO GET ON WITH....

2007-12-08T19:39:00.000Z

What are we to make of the Harbarrowboy's continuing absence from the Fun Palace?

Since he popped in at 1pm last Tuesday for a few hours, he appears to have gone to ground again.

The £150,000 a year (plus PRP) chief executive has not been seen since.

So where can he be?

(In his hammock in the hacienda again? eds)

Culture Company staff have been left scratching their heads at the semi-invisible man's re-appearance and then dis-appearance again.

Is Jase now spending all his time around at the Fireman's gaffe, chatting to the parakeet?

Perhaps.

But maybe a comment from Bryan Gray, Chair of the North West Development Agency sheds more light on the Harbarrowboy's whereabouts.

Gray, who has virtually taken over responsibility for the Culture Company, has said of Jase:

"He's the city council's problem now - not ours anymore. We have no further use for him."
So, putting the ball back firmly in the court of the council, for whom Jase is Executive Director for Culture, is a rather neat trick to off-load any responsibility for the Barrowboy.

It also accounts for Jases's on-off absence from the Fun Palace.

Rumour has it that Cover Up has found him a place in the typing pool on the top floor of the Municipal Buildings and is next week supposed to be sorting him out with some typing and photocopying to keep him busy.

(Which probably means the city council is going to start sending out poll tax letters to dead people again, eds)

THE RETURN OF THE HARBARROWBOY: The ice-cream man cometh....

2007-12-04T13:49:00.000Z

UPDATE: 1.07 PM.

HE'S BACK!

THE ICE-CREAM MAN SLIPPED INTO THE FUN PALACE JUST AFTER 1 CLOCK TODAY.

ONE BY-STANDER TAKES UP THE STORY:

"YOU COULD HAVE HEARD A PIN DROP, HE JUST WANDERED INTO HIS OFFICE. THE BULLSHITER WAS NOT SITTING THERE, OTHERWISE THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN UNPLEASANT SCENE.

"IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT NOBODY EXPECTED HIM TO TURN UP, THE BULLSHITTER AND HIS GANG OF INCOMPETENTS WERE IN ANOTHER MEETING IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM.

"JASE WANDERED ABOUT A BIT, SCRATCHED HIS HEAD AND THEN WALKED OUT AGAIN TO THE CONFEENCE ROOM. IT WAS REALLY STRANGE.

"HE LOOKS JUST LIKE A TOBY JUG - HE HAS GOT EVEN FATTER. AND HIS SKIN IS A RIDICULOUS SHADE OF ORANGE."

FOR THE NEXT EXCITING INSTALMENT, STAY POSTED....

THE RETURN OF THE HARROWBOY: STILL NO SIGN OF JASE...

2007-12-04T12:19:00.001Z

UPDATE: 12.20

Still no sign of the Harbarrowboy anywhere in the Fun Palace. The expectant air has now gone, the nervous giggling has ceased (that was Donald Bullshitter, eds), the sense of expectancy in thr typing pool all but vanished. Even Clare McCogloose has stopped blathering on about 'it will all be fine when Jase comes back."

Perhaps he is now negotiating with Brian Gray, from the NWDA, instead? Or talking to his solicitor? There must be a solution to this.....?????????

THE RETURN OF THE HARBARROWBOY: JASE STILL NOT SPOTTED IN FUN PALACE, SHOCK

2007-12-04T10:10:00.000Z

10.15 am.........

HARBARROWBOY LATEST: Jase has still not been spotted behind his desk in the Fun Palace. Perhaps he is still talking to CoverUp?

MATHEW ST SENSATION: COVERUP COMES CLEAN - BRADLEY LIED THREE TIMES (AND THEN THE COCK CROWED)

2007-12-03T20:42:00.000Z

WHAT a turn-up that was folks!

Colin CoverUp has come clean in this morning's Daily Post - and dumped the fibbing Fireman in a huge pile of shit.

CoverUp has revealed that, in fact, Fireman Bradley never told him about his secret meeting with Mathew St scapegoat Lee Forde.

This was what the Fireman first told the papers on Saturday:

"He (Bradley) said he raised the issues with the council chief executive, Colin Hilton, and senior Culture Company staff in the “first couple of days after the meeting”.

But this was what Hilton wrote to Joe Anderson today:

"I can confirm that I was totally unaware that Lee Forde had met with Cllr Bradley and Cllr Storey, let alone any of the information contained in the account of that meeting set out in the dossier."

So that was the THIRD lie told by Bradley, who has now demonstrated that he is totally unfit to govern.

At which point the cock crowed...

The SECOND lie was when Bradley claimed Lee Forde had first texted him to instigate the secret Wavertree-gate meeting.

But Forde's mobile phone bill reveals that he texted Bradley an hour after the Fireman had first sent him a flurry of emails asking for a meeting.

The FIRST lie was when the fibbing Fireman first denied even having a meeting! That was just so contemptible a lie that we won't even bother proving it. (Read the earlier posts instead, eds)

So where are we now? (Waiting for the Fireman to walk the plank? eds)

Yes.

Clearly CoverUp has now had enough of the Fireman and has completely washed his hands of him.

His letter was an astonishing example of a chief executive putting the boot in and then very publicly distancing himself from the Leader.

That was the bureaucratic coup de grace - now we must wait patiently for the political knives to be buried in Bradley's back.

CoverUp realised that if he did not properly handle the Lib Dem Leader's role in this disgraceful plot, he would himself become embroiled in the conspiracy.

So after letting off the hook his former colleagues in the evil cabal - to Hilton's eternal shame - he has finally decided to come clean.

(Although, he's still not to be trusted, eds)

There is also no doubt that Hasitall and the Rottweiller are loving all this. So be it.

The only hope we have that those scum will ever be properly dealt with, is if there is a complete change in Town Hall administration.

The Lib Dems have proved they are unfit to govern. It's time for a change.

PS The Harbarrowboy is due back in the Fun Palace tomorrow morning 123 days after the Fireman demanded his head - Jase may actually turn up, bold as the brass medallion around his neck, with no hint of a blush under his perma-tan.

Sadly, Jase will have missed the chance to make a fast buck at tonight's Royal Variety Show, where he could have tried to sell some of his Spanish ice creams to 'Gentleman Joe' Anderson and the Fireman, who were, amazingly, due to spend the evening sitting side by side.

Will keep you posted on Jase's progress tomorrow (he won't last long, eds) and the polite chatter that no doubt passed between Bradley and Joe.

HM The Queen (to Bradley)......"And what do you do, young man?"

Bradley (to HM)...."Lie through my fucking teeth, your Maj"

LIAR, LIAR - BRADLEY'S ON FIRE!!!!

2007-12-02T21:41:00.000Z

THE story so far....

Council leader Warren 'I'm only a fireman' Bradley has LIED twice about his clandestine meeting with scapegoated Lee Forde.

The fibbing Fireman lied ONCE when he first told the Daily Post that he had not met Mr Forde, just two days after smearing his reputation and good character with the publication of the now discredited Mathew St report.

The fibbing Fireman was then forced to admit that the secret meeting had actually taken place after all, when he was confronted with a huge amount of detail about the meeting - even down to the colour of Bradley's three piece suite, the type of beer supplied (Peroni, eds) and the parakeet in the front room of his home in Wavertree ('whose a silly boy then Warren? eds)

The fibbing Fireman lied a SECOND time when, in a foolish attempt to hide his plotting, he told the Daily Post that Mr Forde had first texted him to arrange a meeting.

This was of course utter bollocks - and Mr Forde has the evidence to prove it.

The fibbing Fireman emailed Mr Forde at 13.49 on November 17th desperately asking for a meeting to discuss 'next steps'. (Bradley has so far failed to deny emailing Mr Forde, eds. )

An examination of Mr Forde's mobile phone bill reveals that Mr Forde first texted the Fireman an hour after those emails were sent.

So it was the fibbing Fireman who initiated the secret meeting with his flurry of emails - not Mr Forde.

No doubt Mr Forde will he happy to supply his mobile phone records to the Standards Board to assist them in their enquiries into the fibbing Fireman's activities.

The only question that remains is this...

Has the Fireman fibbed a THIRD time?

Bradley claimed that he had notified chief executive Colin CoverUp of his secret meeting with Mr Forde 'in the first couple of days after'.

(So CoverUp was part of the same conspiracy then, was he? And what action, if any, did CoverUp take about the Leader of the Council secretly meeting a former employee, Mr Forde, who is currently suing the council for constructive dismissal? This is all highly irregular...)

It remains to be seen now what light CoverUp can shed on the Fireman's claim - and whether CoverUp is now prepared to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help him God.

Why does any of this matter? (We were wondering that, eds)

Because it shows that Liverpool is being led by a politician who will happily lie to the media - and therefore to the people of Liverpool - in a desperate attempt to save his own skin.

And that he will also attempt to again trash the repuation of an innocent man in the process.

We are not sure what CoverUp is going to say, if anything.

We are not sure either how the meeja feels about a politician who lies to them.

But we are absolutely certain what the people of Liverpool's verdict will be if it is shown that Bradley has lied THREE TIMES.

Students of American politics (that's us, eds) who have examined the Watergate affair, will tell you that it was the attempted cover-up and not the crime that finally did for Richard Milhouse Nixon.

And so it may yet prove in 'Wavertree-gate'.

NOT 'ALL TOGETHER NOW' PART 2

2007-11-30T17:00:00.000Z

MORE on Fireman Bradley's banning of The Farm from Capital of Culture because they are backing Lee Forde....

Of course our lovable pop mop tops do not know anything at all about the 'Bradley ban' - no one in the Culture Company has had the bottle to break it to them so far.

Mouth Almighty Jane Casey (oh god is she still around? eds) had a meeting yesterday about the Opening Ceremony with Peter Hooton from The Farm and never mentioned the ban once.

That's because she didn't know about it and has been too busy recently counting all the loot she has been paid by the Culture Co to keep her gob shut.

So The Farm are still waiting to be told about the Fireman Bradley ban - ordered because he does not like The Farm for publicly and proudly supporting scape-goated Lee Forde over Mathew St.

However, we can also reveal that so childish and petty is Fireman Bradley that he actually refused to play the new CoC vid at a recent meeting, because 'All Together Now' was still on the soundtrack.

How much more embarrassing to the city of Liverpool can this foolish fireman get? (Oh there's tons more of this stuff to come - just you wait, eds)

Bradley's childish megalomaniac antics have caused much disbelief and merriment in the Fun Palace, which now has the unenviable task of producing an expensive new soundtrack.

(It would be a good Freedom of Information question to put to Colin CoverUp so that we could try to unravel the precise cost of the Bradley ban, wouldn't it? eds. Then someone could send Bradley a bill for wasting council taxpayer's money.)

Despite trying to commission the new soundtrack, Culture staff have yet to work out how to tell Casey that The Farm are off the Opening Ceremony bill.

(They can read it here, can't they? eds)

Of course, the lovable popsters might be back on the bill straightaway, if something unfortunate were to suddenly happen to Fireman Bradley between now and Christmas (what ever can he mean? eds)

Perish that thought....

'ALL TOGETHER NOW' WITH THE FARM....UNLESS YOU ARE FIREMAN BRADLEY!

2007-11-29T22:22:00.000Z

FIREMAN BRADLEY has ordered that Liverpool popsters, The Farm should be banned from Capital of Culture - because they have publicly supported scape-goated Lee Forde.
The band's nineties anthem "All Together Now" has been used as the soundtrack for yet another ruinously expensive new Culture Company video for 2008.

Unfortunately Donald Bullshitter had forgotten to obtain the band's authorisation to use their toe-tapping number - but such incompetence is only a minor detail in the madcap world of the Fun Palace,

However, when a proud and excited Bullshitter unveiled his latest magnum opus (ooooerrrmissus, eds) to a morose Fireman, he was taken aback by the reaction.

The Furious Fireman went spare when he heard the Farm's ditty on the vid and immediately insisted that they be removed from the soundtrack (who does this jumped-up fuckwit think he is - Adolph Hitler? eds).

And he went even further.

Bradley has also now demanded that The Farm are removed from the all-star line-up (shurely shome mistake? eds) for the 2008 Opening Ceremony.

Their crime?(Being socialists? eds)

No.

The Farm had unequivocally and very publicly defended Lee Forde's reputation both in the Echo, on Radio Murkeyside and on blogs and cheeky little webbie things like this, all over the place.

The jumped-up Fireman had taken Umbrage (after taking Czechoslovakia presumably, eds) at their stout, loyal and accurate defence of Lee. Bradley vowed that the popular beat combo should not be in anyway involved in Capital of Culture one iota, no sirreee.

(As if they were bothered, eds)

That's not the point! Who gave Bradley authority to start banning people just because they are not cowardly, lying bastards like him?

Bradley's megalomaniac tendencies appear to be increasing as his support and self-control rapidly diminishes.

We would now encourage The Farm to go public on this scandalous censorship and tell all to anyone who has the good sense to spot a good story when they see one (not the Echo then? eds).
HISTORICAL NOTE: Fans of the first Tony Parrish will recall that his personal profile on the Liverpool-evil-cabal blog contained five rousing and defiant pop songs as his favourites. Amongst them was...., you guessed it, The Farm's "All Together Now".

SPOOKY CO-INCIDENCE: "All Together Now" was taken from The Farm's album, which of course was named (eerie roll of drums, eds)....'Spartacus'. A photo of the immortal Kirk Douglas as the rebel slave Spartacus was of course, the image chosen by the first Tony Parrish to adorn his now legendary 'Liverpool evil cabal' blog. (Them were the days, eds)

STRANGE BUT TRUE: The Leader of Liverpool city council is (supposedly,) a keen Evertonian, whose 1995 FA Cup side used 'Altogether Now' for their theme tune as Paul Rideout popped one under the bar against ManU (we wuz there, remember Ged? eds).

EDITOR'S NOTE: Fireman Bradley is a juvenile toss-pot, who should grow up and who is unfit to lead the city of Liverpool. He deserves everything that is now coming to him.

All Together Now?

JASE: 'I shall return" or "I haven't done a deal yet, so anything could still happen, manana."

2007-11-19T21:19:00.000Z

DISAPPOINTING news about Jase today - he won't be returning to the Fun Palace for another TWO WEEKS!

The Harbarrowboy had been due to turn up bright and early at Millennium House today to evict Donald Bullshitter from his office.

Donald had moved into the office as "acting" chief executive, while poor Jase was licking ice creams for his heart condition back at the hacienda.

Some Culture Company staff even turned up for work earlier than normal this morning in a bid to witness the eviction of the Bullshitter.

But all to no avail.

Poor Jase couldn't manage to summon up the strength to leave his hammock and return to Liverpool.

Instead he reported to Colin CoverUp that he didn't feel quite up to it - but thought he might be a bit better in a fortnight.

However, he apparently made it clear that when he came back, he would need to "ease himself" into the full swing of things in the run-up to 2008.

So don't expect Jase to be immediately running around like a blue-arsed fly sorting everything out.

(Some hope of that, eds.)

Some terrible cynics might think that Jase is delaying his return to allow the fall-out from Mathew Street to clear.

Then he can be greeted like a returning hero. (No chance of that, eds.)

But as we all know - thanks to the excellent official city council report - Jase has nothing to fear from Mathew Street.

He did nothing wrong at all. Nothing went wrong while he was in charge. It was all that fella Lee Forde's fault in the first place.

Any suggestion otherwise would be a disgraceful calumny on all the excellent work that Jase has put in, for so little reward and absolutely no thanks at all from you ungrateful bastards.

Does anyone seriously expect poor Jase, as the £150,000-a-year (plus Performance Related Pay, eds) chief executive of the Culture Company, to take any interest at all in something called the Mathew Street Festival?

Don't be silly, Jase has far better things to do - breakfasts and lunches to go to; drinks to partake of; wealthy nobs to hob with; cock-ups to mastermind.

Jase is too busy making 2008 the most fantastic spectacle Liverpool has ever seen.

(Too fucking right, it's going to be an amazing spectacle, eds)

So, sadly, we will have to wait until December 3rd to see Jase again.

And we sincerely hope he will be given a welcome fit for such a returning hero.

'RANDY' LAUNCHES NEW MEDIA CHARM OFFENSIVE TO TRY AND SAVE LIB DEMS

2007-11-12T22:40:00.000Z

A MEDIA charm offensive has been launched by 'Randy' Newman to save the Fireman's skin and the Lib Dems.

Journalists from unholyTrinity Mirror, Radio Murkeyside and other assorted odds and sods from the Fourth Estate were invited to the Town Hall tonight to be wined and dined.

(Any members of the media who were not on the guest list get a gold star, eds)

It was hoped by Randy that a free piss-up and a few vol-au-vents would help persuade the susceptible hacks to lay off when it came to dishing the dirt on the Lib Dems and the incompetents at the Culture Company.

Indeed Randy who, extremely unusually, was not buying drinks for any young lady friends or, come to that, members of his own staff, orchestrated special 'guest' appearances by Fireman Bradley and Lord Mayor, Paul Clark.

Both Lib Dems took to their feet to lecture the journalists on what constitutes 'good news' and to allege that all this 'negative coverage we have been experiencing recently' was not in the city's best interests.

A lengthy editorial aside: What is definitely not in the city's best interests is for you bunch of Lib Dem fuck-wits to be paying a fortune in salaries to twats like Colin CoverUp, the Harbarrowboy, Donald Bullshitter, Randy, Clare McCogLoose et al, who don't know their arses from their elbows and couldn't run a piss-up in a brewery to save their lives.

Bradley 'entertained' the few assembled hacks who were forced to remain because they were unable to make a quick excuse about having a cold to catch.

The Fireman made a speech of such horrific ineptitude and cringe-worthiness that jaundiced journos wept openly in amazement that a Leader of a such a great city could be so unremittingly poor.

Both the Fireman and Clark tried to persuade the journos, apparently in all seriousness, that Liverpool's best interests were the same as the Lib Dems.

In other words and to parapahrase the Fireman and Clark: "Every time you write a story about how crap we are, it damages the city we all love so much and hold so dear to all our hearts, (blah, blah, blah, memo to chief sub-editor: "take in usual bollocks").

Or "Every time you run down this fine and noble, top-quality first class council of ours, you run down the city."

(Another lengthy editorial aside: Wrong on both counts, guys. This speech should have read: "Everytime you write a story about how crap we are, hastens the day when Liverpool wakes up from the Lib Dem nightmare, kicks these stupid fuckers out on their ear and gets some competent politicians and clean government in. OR .....Every time you expose this crap council, you make the case for a much better council with some strong leadership in charge. Which of course, is exactly what the put-upon people of Liverpool deserve."

Speaking of which: Labour's Joe Anderson turned up to spread more mischief amongst the assembled media.

So Lib Dem charm offensive to no avail.

HASTA LA VISTA!!!!!!!!!MESSAGE FROM INSIDE THE CULTURE COMPANY - POOR JASE HAS POCKETED ANOTHER £300,000 FROM COVER UP

2007-11-11T22:54:00.000Z

The following is a message we have received from one of our many reliable sources inside the Culture Company. We have no reason to doubt its authencity.

You are right to speculate about the future and well-being of poor Jason. I am reliably informed that despite his truly astounding efforts to soldier on in the face of his mutiple ailments he has with a very heavy (and extremely dicky) heart agreed to remain in his austere Spanish sanatorium for the foreseeable future . Leading medical opinion is seemingly clear that any further exposure to Liverpool's notoriously toxic micro-climate may prove fatal to a man of Jason's fragile and sensitive constitution. According to my very well placed source the bitter disappointment of exile has been tempered by a thoroughly deserved farewell gift from the Council Tax payers of Liverpool believed to be in th region of £300,000. I understand that we can all thank our ever-generous Chief Executive Mr Colin-cover-up-Hilton for this thoughtful gesture of civic grattitude. It will be some small consolation for the ailing Jason as he stoically submits to his harrowing therapeutic regime.

IT'S OFFICIAL; THE HARBARROWBOY IS NEVER COMING BACK...

2007-11-09T00:04:00.000Z

THE Culture Company's Harbarrowboy will definitely not be returning from Spain to his executive office in the Fun Palace, we can officially announce.

Why so certain?

Simple.

In the manner of all loyal lieutenants, the Harbarrowboy's No 2, Donald Bullshitter (aka Kris Donaldson) has now moved into his missing boss's office!

Donald has even emptied Jase's drawers (oooerr missus, eds) and replaced them with his own bits and bobs. (There's an in-joke lurking suspiciously here, but we can't quite put our fingers on it. To coin a phrase, eds)

Anyroadup, Donald Bullshitter moved into Jase's hole within days of the Harbarrowboy telling the Daily Post: "I shall return."

Clearly his former loyal deputy has other ideas.

Poor old Jase's Personal Assistant has also taken a powder at this despicable turn of events and gone on the sick.

Leaving the Bullshitter to immediately install his own PA in her place!

With friends like this, who needs enemies, Jase?

Meanwhile the Daily Post is planning an exclusive story saying that -

as well as selling all his property interests on Merseyside (first revealed here, eds)

gaining dual Spanish nationality (first revealed here, eds)

his wife and family moving to Spain months ago (first revealed here, eds)

Jase buying an ice cream factory (first revealed here, eds )

and Jase suffering from a heart condition (first revealed here, eds) -

Jase has ALREADY BEEN PAID OFF with a cheque for £300,000 from the Fireman and CoverUp on behalf of the grateful citizens of Liverpool.

Any suggestion that the dynamic duo are also planning a plaque on Mathew Street in Jase's memory is without any semblance of substance.

But they are definitely planning a whip around for some form of commemorative sculpture next to Eleanor Rigby which will mark Jase's exile in the hacienda - "all the lonely people, where do they all belong....?"

MATHEW ST LATEST: JASE PHONES COVERUP TO RETURN AND BOOK HIS PLACE FOR MTV....BUT COVER UP SAYS NO!

2007-10-30T17:57:00.000Z

THE chattering classes report an unusual telephone conversation between the Harbarrowboy - safely exiled in Spain - and Colin CoverUp, unsecurely tied to his desk in the Municipal Buildings in downtown Dale Street.

Apparently the conversation went something like this...

Jase: Eh up Col, how's it going, ba gum?

Col: Jase, why are you ringing me?

Jase: I want t'come back ont' Wednesday so that I can go t' MTV awards in Munich on't Thursday. Dago doc says ma ticker is tickety boo, although appen I've got touch of skin cancer now. But that there MTV show is going to be a crackin gig, tha knows, there's loads of champagne and them there dancing girls and 'ollywood celebs we can run shoulders with and.....

Col: I don't think that would be 'appropriate'.

Jase: Why not mucker? It was ma bloomin' idea to bring MTV t'pool int' first place and ah'm not missing this fookin trip, for love nor money. Snoop Dogg is on!

Col: Who?

Jase: Snoop Dog! Ya know, fo' shizzle, ma nizzle!

(long, long pause)

Jase: Hello, Col! Are you still there, matey? Summat up?

Col: Yes, Jason.

Jase: So is tha' alright with you then mucker, if i come back in on't Wednesday? I'll do a bit of paperwork first for an hour or so, go and 'ave me lunch and then fook off to Berlin? There's a lot of work to do to get ready for 2008, tha knows. Peoples to see, places to go.... Matey.

Col: No Jase, I am afraid that would not be a sensible move. You know, the Leader of the Council's view about all this. And anyway, he is very busy now, doing all that extra homework with all the various reports he has been given.

Jase: Well bah the Christ, if thou is not for letting me back to work on the morrer, I shall ave to sling me hook and take three more weeks off on't sick! So there! And evil rottweiller McElhinney can do his worst! He can hire all t'taxis he wants to scuttle around to my gaff ont' wirral handing out notices demanding that ah'm to report for medical exam! But I won't be there, see! Ha, ha! Ah'll be at th'acienda! Eatin' lolly ice!

(Jase hangs up phone)

Col: Jason? Jason?

(to be continued....)

THE COMEBACK KID - DUE BACK ON WEDNESDAY.

2007-10-28T22:07:00.000Z

THE Harbarrowboy is due to return to the Fun Palace this Wednesday.

That's according to his ceremonial stand-in, Donald Bullshitter, who has been going around "reassuring" everyone that good old Jase will be 'back soon'.

That's not the word amongst councillors or the ruling Lib Dem Exec Board who have been told that Jase will never darken their door again.

What worries us is, (if Jase does by some miracle return), where is he going to lay his sun-tanned torso?

Now that he has sold his detached house on the Wirral, will he move temporarily into one of the other two houses on Merseyside which he has has put up for sale?

Will he be looking for a B&B in Anfield?

Or will he be bedding down for the night in his office at the Fun Palace?

That can't be good for his health with a heart condition.

If you would like to offer Jase a bed for the night, give him a ring at his office on Wednesday morning. Tel: 0151 233 4447

Then you can also make sure he has turned up for work on time.

Of course, if Jase isn't able to answer the phone, you might conclude that Donald Bullshitter has been bullshitting again.

FOR SALE: JASON'S £499,950 HOUSE ON THE WIRRAL

2007-10-21T21:39:00.001+01:00

West Road, Noctorum, Wirral

We are delighted to offer for sale this superb DETACHED EXECUTIVE RESIDENCE situated in a popular area of Wirral only a brief distance to local facilities and schooling, enjoying the benefit of gas central heating and double glazing. The accommodation briefly comprises: Spacious Entrance Hall, Ground Floor WC, Large Lounge, Dining/Sitting Room, opening out into a large Conservatory, Snug/Study, Spacious Breakfast Kitchen with integrated appliances, Utility Room and to first floor there is a Landing, Four Bedrooms, the master affording an En-Suite Shower Room plus well appointed replacement four piece Family Bathroom. Externally there is an audio/visual intercom system and electric gates, long driveway extending to ample off road parking and turning space, larger than average garage with remote control door, principal lawned gardens to side plus raised timber decking feature.

FOR FURTHER DETAILS PLEASE CONTACT:Karl Tatler , Heswall

(re-assuring that all the money in the world can't buy taste, though, isn't it? eds)

Alternative descriptions of Jason's house are invited....

WHAT'S NEXT FOR JASE, AFTER CREAMING IT FROM LIVERPOOL'S CAPITAL OF CULTURE?

2007-10-17T21:53:00.000+01:00

THIS is going to be hard to swallow...

But we can exclusively reveal that the Harbarrowboy is buying a Spanish ice cream factory while on his sickie!

Seems Jase has finally decided he has taken enough of a licking at the Culture Company.

So the Harbarrowboy has instead opted to (banana) split from Liverpool.

He didn't want to be gradually frozen out by the fireman Bradley (surely not? eds).

According to usually reliable sources (shouldn't that be sauces? eds), Jase has slowly begun to melt away from Merseyside.

(That's enough! eds)

He has already sold one of his homes - a large detached, according to the Daily Post - on the Wirral.

But the Harbarrowboy has two other properties on Merseyside which he intends to sell to the highest bidder.

Meanwhile Jase has been slowly recuperating from his obviously extremely serious and grave heart condition while at his sprawling hacienda on the Costa del Crime.

He has been relaxing (see our exclusive photo, right, eds) by regularly logging on to the Liverpool subCulture web site to catch up on Culture in the city.

But he has also found some time to extend his already bulging property portfolio in readiness for when his departure from the Culture Comedians is officially announced.

Jase has identified a local ice cream manufacturer as a sound business proposition.

(He's the next Alan Sugar, this fella Harbottle - after all, there's blazing hot sun all the year round, so the locals are bound to want two or three icies every day. Result - he's a multi-millionaire in no time at all! Brilliant! eds)

In order to buy the factory, Jase has had to scrimp and save to stump up enough cash from his lifetime of struggling at the coal face at the Culture Company's Millennium House Fun Palace (that's enough sick jokes, eds)

Any suggestion that the poor Harbarrowboy has been creaming off council tax payers money would be totally wrong. That possibility is wafer-thin.

As is the disgraceful claim that he has gotten fat on all that Liverpool lolly and is now splashing out in the Spanish sunshine.

Or that Jase has been sprinkling hundreds and thousands on to his new bizarre new enterprise.

(Right, that's it! eds)

All together now, "Just one cornetto..."

HAS JASE ALREADY DONE A RUNNER, EVEN WITH HIS DODGY TICKER?

2007-10-11T23:11:00.000+01:00

FEVERISH speculation concerning the whereabouts and intentions of Culture Company barrow boy Jason Harbarrowboy.

Jase's up-for-sale house on the Wirral is now boasting a 'Sold' sign and he has finally been granted Spanish dual nationality.

His wife and daughter have already fled to the Costa del Crime and Jase is reported to have joined them while on sick leave with a dodgy ticker.

One attractive theory has it that Jase will now go on the sick for six months, while sheltering in the shade of his hacienda.

Then he will persuade some pliable cardiac consultant to testify that his heart condition is stress-related - thus allowing Jason to quietly and reluctantly hang up his gold jewellery with a huge pay-off from the city council.

And the sympathy of the entire city and no stain on his reputation (shurely shome mistake? eds)

Then he can settle back into his hammock, top up his perma-tan and sip pina coladas until Kingdom Come - thanks to the generosity of the people of Liverpool.

"Difficult job very well done, invaluable contribution, Culture now moved into delivery phase, Redmond in charge, terribly sad, ill-health prevented Jason playing active role, nothing to do with Mathew Street mess, wish him well, sorry to see him go, hope he gets better soon, huge pay-off will help cushion the blow," goes Colin Cover Up's prepared script.

All of which neatly prevents the Harbarrowboy having to take any of the responsibility for cocking up Culture and wasting the city's best opportunity for a generation.

It is also alleged that the rottweiller McElhinney, (ooooooooh, that evil bastard is back on the scene, is he? eds) who is in charge of the city council's inHuman Relations Dept, has promised not to pursue Jase's sickness claim, or to insist on forcing him to take regular medical examinations back in Blighty, or to stake out his casa with private dicks seeking evidence of him partying late into the Spanish sunset with Cockney ne'er do wells and unidentified blondes.

No surprise really - after all, this lot are all members of the cabal, piss in the same pot and will look after each other, won't they?

On the other hand, Jase could be back in charge of Culture next week. (Gawdhelpus, eds)

Then again, he has probably already been given his ticket to ride.

Two tickets to one of the cultural highlights of 2008 for the best picture caption!

JASE IS OFF SICK - GET WELL SOON!

2007-10-04T23:18:00.000+01:00

OUR great friend Jason, the Harbarrowboy, Harbrow is currently off work from the £114million Culture Company through sickness.

For the last four months, Jase has been trying to keep secret a heart problem - which accounts for his latest absence from the Fun Palace.

His heart condition (he hasn't got one, eds) would of course give him a convenient excuse to reluctantly leave the Culture Company stage, without a stain on his fantastic public reputation. (do you think? eds)

So that makes the next move a bit more interesting for his employers, the city council, doesn't it?

Perhaps fireman Bradley will finally have his demand for Jase's head come true? Completely fortuitously, of course.

Meanwhile KenUnworthy is taking some time to find some expert legal opinion on the city council's Mathew Street debacle report (as we predicted, eds), so they are now planning to leak it next week.

MATHEW STREET DEBACLE SHOCK - NO ONE TO BLAME, BUT SCAPEGOAT FORDE

2007-10-01T22:25:00.001+01:00

Stand by for some classic council skulduggery this week as the report on the Mathew St debacle is published.

The internal report will stand reality on its head by clearing both the Harbarrowboy and Cover Up of any blame or responsibility for the worst public relations disaster since Storey appointed Henshaw as chief exec.

Neither of course will be held to blame for cancelling Europe's biggest street music festival.

We hear that the finger will instead be pointed at Events chief Lee Forde who resigned from the £114million Culture Company in protest at Harbarrow's incompetence and the risk to public safety posed by cut-backs.

All the signs are that Forde will be made the convenient scapegoat for Harbarrow and Cover Up's incompetence and lack of judgement.

Of course it's easy for this pair of overpaid incompetents to take a pot shot at Forde now that he has left the council.

He has already vowed to take them to an industrial tribunal for unfair dismissal - so he will be fair game for whatever dirty little tactics the council can dream up to try and escape blame.

Expect all kinds of ridiculous allegations, carefully and selectively leaked to the gullible local media by the little Harbarrowboy and his grinning accomplice, the Smiling Assassin, Hasitall.

They will do anything to try and blacken Forde's name so they can appear whiter than white.

The council's report, which is due to be published by the end of the week, was today handed to "acting" City Solicitor, Michael KenUnworthy, aka the bald legal eagle.

'Cover Up' has decided to wait for expert legal opinion on the report's contents before he gives the order for it to be selectively leaked first to the Echo (then the DPost and then Radio Merseyside, trailing behind in a poor third place).

So he will be a long time waiting for expert legal opinion from KenUnworthy.

QUICK-QUICK FLO! THE STANDARDS BOARD ARE IN TOWN!!!!!

2007-09-17T22:22:00.000+01:00

OFFICIALS from the Standards Board arrive in Liverpool this week to investigate Flo Clucas's actions over Dance Liverpool and the Irish centre.
The bossy bureaucrats have finally decided to act on Labour Leader Joe Anderson's formal complaint about Clucas and her actions over the Centre on Mount Pleasant.
Readers will recall how Anderson obtained leaked documents apparently showing how Clucas repeatedly breached the Code of Conduct for councillors.
Meanwhile we can reveal that the city council's Planning Chief, Nigel Lee has been removed from all discussions about the future of the Grade 11 listed building which the city council has negligently allowed to go to wrack and ruin.
Lee has been told he can take no further part in any decisions about the centre because of his previous actions and involvement with Clucas.
This is an extraordinary state of affairs - a highly paid official has been effectively told he cannot do his job for the city, because his impartiality has been compromised!
Quite why anyone should trust Lee with any other planning matters, when he has apparently already demonstrated his unfitness for public office, is a bit beyond us.
Typically, Colin Cover Up is doing his best to hush all this up, aided by the compliant local meeja.
Meanwhile Clucas faces the Standards Board to answer allegations that she abused her position and authority to favour and promote an organisation - Dance Liverpool - of which she is a Director.
It is also claimed that she failed to properly declare an interest in Dance Liverpool when she was promoting its campaign to take over the Irish Centre and also trying to arrange Euro and council funding for it!
Clucas is in charge of Objective 1 Euro funding for Merseyside.
Meanwhile the DPost and Echo continue to observe radio silence on this mildly interesting story, although we are informed that the lovable Lee Bennion at Radio Merseyside is planning a full-scale Panorama-style investigation.
Can't wait to hear what world exclusive you come up with Lee!
There is absolutely no suggestion that Councillor Clucas, a senior Lib Dem and Executive Member, is a corrupt servant of the people who is only involved in politics to serve her own personal interests and get out of it as much as she can, as long as no-one notices or dares to challenge her or stands up to her self-opinionated, pompous, self-serving ways which pay not a jot of attention to the interests of anyone else at all. No suggestion of any of that, at all.

HUNT ON FOR MATHEW STREET MOLE IN LIB DEMS

2007-09-01T23:25:00.001+01:00

HUGE ructions within the Lib Dem group over who leaked Fireman Bradley's email.

Angry words around the Corridors of the Power(less) in the Municipal Buildings and in The Fireman's under-siege Leader's Office, which now apparently resembles Henshaw's bolt-hole before Sir Diddy was finally forced to walk the plank.

Bradley has been extremely active on the phone, calling up his 'colleagues', summoning others to meandering meetings and constantly pleading for party discipline (bit late in the day for that, eds)

But Wounded Badley still cannot put out the fire started by the Mathew Street fiasco.

Apparently The Fireman has ordered his own internal leak enquiry - threatening expulsion from the Lib Dem party, never mind the group, if the mole is ever unearthed.

(Shades of the ridiculous Tony Parrish probe, eds. Perhaps The Fireman can get the bald legal eagle, KenUnworthy to help him out?)

It is clear that Bradley's letter to Hilton, demanding the Harbarbarrowboy's resignation came from a mole inside the Lib Dem group.

They were the only ones who were sent a copy - in the post (silly boy. But it does show his weakness if he has to try and impress his own group with hysterical letters to the chief exec! eds)

Unfortunately we have only been able to narrow the likely leaker down to any one of about 24 Lib Dem's who had good reason to undermine the Fireman.

Apparently one enterprising Lib Dem has even opened a book on the identity of the leaker, with former Leader Mike Storey now 9-4 favourite.

But we can reveal that, in fact, there were two leakers who acted, apparently independently, within days of each other.

One copy of the email was delivered in a brown envelope to Labour Leader Joe Anderson's office in the Corridors of the Power(less).

The second was pushed, unaddressed, through Anderson's letter box at home!

Meanwhile Anderson is now understood to be in detailed negotiations with THREE separate Lib Dem councillors - including one Executive Member! - who want to cross the floor (or leave the sinking ship, eds).

Anderson's masterly leaking of Bradley's email to the Liverpool Echo also had its moments of quiet satisfaction.

After confronting Cover Up with Bradley's email, Anderson demanded an explanation from Hilton.

Word is that Cover Up was virtually speechless with shock and could only babble semi-incoherently as Anderson looked on in bafflement.

Anderson decided to put Hilton out of his misery and curtly dismissed the £225,000 a year chief executive. The lonely Hilton was left to trudge disconsolately back to Henshaw's old office "as white as the proverbial sheet", according to one observer.

One of the best conpiracy theories currently doing the rounds is that the leaker was not a Lib Dem at all, but in fact the smiling assassin, Hasitall, who saw his chance to get Bradley and Hilton out of the way, leaving him with a shoe-in for the job of chief exec.

It has a certain attractive authenticity, given Hasitall's record.

WHOOOOOOPPSS! THE BALD LEGAL EAGLE HAS (CRASH) LANDED

2007-06-15T22:43:00.001+01:00

PREPARE yourselves dear readers, for something of a let down...

News reaches us that the city council's acting City Solicitor, Michael Kenworthy has met with an unfortunate accident.

(What goes around, comes around, as Tory Blair, i mean Tori Blare, would say, ed)

It seems that Kenworthy, also known as the bald legal eagle, was conferring with council colleagues at a civic function to mark the opening of some obscure, non-descript standards body.

As is now the tradition in our Capital of Vultures, the wine was flowing.

The cultural canapes were fast disappearing and Kenworthy was entertaining the assembled company with tales of his derring-do battle to the brink with the first Tony Parrish. (Just kidding, ed. No one was entertained.)

Then Kenworthy, who has made it his lifetime's ambition to bring TP to justice (is this the city council's own peculiar brand of 'justice' then?- ie, they first of all break the law and then spend tens of thousands of pounds of council taxpayers money trying to cover it up? ed), had a slight mishap.

As the free booze flowed and the glasses were emptied, the bald legal eagle decided to fly the nest.

But then, I believe, he suddenly complained of 'feeling faint'.

The next thing you know, the bald legal eagle had landed. Crash-landed.

He was found lying in a heap not far from the scene of the carousing.

Any suggestion that Kenworthy had imbibed a single drop of alcohol, let alone too much, would be a disgraceful slur on an upstanding city council employee who has always upheld the highest traditions of public service.

Anyone who suggested otherwise and alleged that he had been freeloading too freely with the booze, would be guilty of the kind of disgraceful defamation which the first Tony Parrish perpetrated against such fine public servants as Sir David Henshaw, Dr David McElhinney and Mr Phillip Halsall.

(Have you taken leave of your senses? ed)

The legal eagle was taken to hospital where he has undergone a series of rigorous tests at great public expense to try and trace the source of the trouble, but without success.

As one councillor accurately remarked: "He didn't have to go to Fazakerley for a brain scan however, because there was obviously no point..."

He is now on the sick from the council (wonder if McElhinney will stop his sick pay? ed) where his expert legal advice and great legal judgement is sorely missed as prostrate he lies (what goes around, comes around as Tory Blair, i mean Tori Blare, would say (again), ed).

But, I believe, he will soon return to rejoin battle with Google in his lifelong bid to unmask TP and close down all blogs in the entire known universe (of which, more later, ed)

Meanwhile his predecessor as (non-acting, ed) City Solicitor, Graeme Careerist, is apparently tryin to keep his head down in the private sector and pretend he wasn't in charge when the council broke the law so disgracefully.

'WOUNDED BADLY' HAS FUN AT THE FUN PALACE....

2007-06-15T14:42:00.000+01:00

Warren Bradley came into Millennnium House on Wednesday morning to try and rally the Culture Company troops after Joe Anderson's resignation.
It was a disaster.
First he started off by telling us not to take any notice of all the nonsense in the papers and that everything was great and 2008 was going to be fantastic. Does he think we are all stupid? We know it's not great - thats why we are so fed up with it all.
People just listened in silence as he told us how everything would be fine and we were all doing a fantastic job.
Patronising bastard.
Then after his little rallying the troops act, he had the cheek to say 'right everyone, let's all get back to work now.'
It was his little joke.
You could have heard a pin drop. We were gobsmacked. There were a few coughs and splutters and the sound of papers being shuffled and then everyone just turned away from him and started talking amongst themselves.
If he had carried on, he would probably have started a punch-up.
You are also right about Lee - he will be missed, altho he is staying until the end of August to see Mathew St through apparently.
And have you heard about that walking disaster Jane Casey? - she is now working with us in the Culture Company.
Don't know how much they are paying her to keep her mouth shut - it seems as if you can create enough fuss the Culture Co will try to buy your silence - but i would now willingly mortgage my house to stop her inane and irritating chatter all over the floor. She is barking mad.

vulture

REVEALED: THE SHOCKING TRUTH ABOUT INSPECTOR CLUELESS...

2007-06-11T21:23:00.000+01:00

THERE'S no other way to prepare you for this, dear readers, but be warned, it will come as something of a shock. You really wouldn't believe it if you hadn't read it here first. Honestly, I had to ask my well-informed source to say it again, slowly, before I... (oh getonwithitwillya! ed)

Ok then...

Inspector Clueless, otherwise known as former councillor Richard Marbrow, has... joined a gym!

That's right, the tub of lard has joined the David Lloyd gymnasium in Speke.

Seems his abrupt departure from the political scene in the May local elections, has caused Fatso to undergo something of a mid-life crisis (he's only 76, ed) and to reflect on his past mistakes, misdemeanours and failures.

So once he has trimmed his wide girth to manageable proportions, we are expecting him to issue an abject public apology to the first Tony Parrish and to recant for his gullible subservience to the evil cabal.

How long this transformation will take we can only imagine.

Apparently, although he is a regular visitor to Mr Lloyd's fitness and fun establishment (as is that other fat bastard, Sir Diddy, ironically, ed) he does not appear to have lost much weight so far.

Perhaps he and Sir Diddy are meeting in the safety of the steam room to plot revenge on TP?

Marbrow has already apparently loudly vowed vengeance on those fellow Lib Dems who refused to allow him to take the chicken run from Kensington.

But Clueless's inability to shed a few pounds at the gym may have something to do with his unusual exercise regime.

After a hard five minutes limbering up within sight of the treadmill, he normally collapses in a dishevelled and sweaty heap. Mopping a fevered brow.

Then after helping himself to a few Mars bars to give him some extra energy, he usually takes comfort in a bucket of "food" from the nearby KFC. Washed down with a gallon of coke.

Whether Clueless ever has any room to tuck into humble pie for his 'afters', is anyone's guess.

But it would do him a world of good if he somehow learnt to swallow his pride.

We can only hope, (genuinely, ed) that he has experienced a real conversion after his well-deserved election defeat.

That a man who has above average intelligence could be so scintillatingly stupid, remains one of the great Liverpool mysteries of the 21st century.

That his overbearing lack of judgement should also be only outweighed by his self-important pomposity, is as baffling as his real age.

We hope however, that Clueless has learnt his lesson and that, in time, he will discover some much-needed maturity, humility and self-awareness.

Fat chance.

NEW ARENA SENSATION: NOT A PENNY FOR LIVERPOOL, FROM THE ECHO

2007-06-10T12:46:00.000+01:00

THE Echo's mysterious sponsorship deal with the new Arena came as a complete surprise to the city council's ruling Executive Board, apparently.

Councillors knew nothing about the five-year deal - until they read about it in the Echo.

And no-one is now being allowed to ask questions about how much this "historic" deal is worth to the people of Liverpool.

That's despite the fact that the entire Arena has been built with £145million worth of public money!

Councillors are being fobbed off with platitudes if they ask exactly how much the Liverpool Echo is paying for the privilege of having its name on the Arena.

The subject of how much it is worth has been carefully avoided in all the publicity. (For the obvious reasons, ed)

The Echo's contribution is 'in kind' says the law-breaker Hasitall, who has been the architect of much of the deal.

What this means is that the Arena will get loads of free advertising in the paper, whose circulation is rapidly declining and which has little audience or influence beyond the city's boundaries.

This will hardly be conducive to attracting full houses for every single gig. So we can presumably, in the future, look forward to free tickets being distributed to the city council, Echo employees, etc, to get more bums on seats.

There is also an informal understanding that the deal will mean there will be no untoward critiscism of the Arena appearing in the pages of the paper (a la Capital of Culture, then, ed)

Fireman Bradley hopes that getting the Echo even further on board will mean they become even more slavishly uncritical.

It's called buying influence...(with public money, too, ed)

But there will be no actual money in the bank for the city council, which has contributed £12million and will own and run the Arena.

The council of course is currently £29million in the red and talking about years of hefty council tax rises to pay for 2008.

The deal also depressingly underlines the small town ambitions of those who were in the know about the deal - Hasitall, fireman Bradley and Storey.

They decided to copy neighbouring Manchester's example of course, where their 'twice the size' Arena has a longstanding and very successful deal with the Manchester Evening News.

"Oh, I know, we can do a sponsorship deal with the Echo, like Manchester," said Storey, with an impressive outburst of originality and creativity.

However the M.E.N has, of course, parted with millions of pounds to get its name and brand all over the Manchester Arena.

But not a penny for Liverpool from the Echo, which of course, is owned by the hugely profitable Trinity Mirror.

In other words, we were sold short again...

WHY THE MEDIA SILENCE ON HURST BEING QUESTIONED OVER ELECTION DIRTY TRICKS?

2007-05-29T00:03:00.001+01:00

terri said...
Do you know Tone, I am astonished that this post has not caused much more comment. Are we all getting used to the evil cabalists getting away with their crimes and misdemeanours? I am told that the reason the story has not appeared in the Echo or Post is because they have decided not to run anything unless/until Hurst is charged. This seems to me to show a sudden, but welcome outbreak of fairness amongst local journalists. They haven't afforded that privilege of refusing to print stories about other people being questioned under caution, have they? So why now - for Hurst? Or shall we form our own conclusions?
Tuesday, May 29, 2007 12:00:00 AM

DE-SELECTION MOVES FOR FRAENKEL

2007-05-17T22:48:00.000+01:00

THE knives are out for Standards chief Beatrice Fraenkel because of her obvious unhappiness with the Lib Dem group.

Moves are underway to de-select Counc Fraenkel, who chairs the council's Standards Committee which is laughably meant to monitor the behaviour of councillors (which committee monitors the behaviour of senior officers then? ed)

The Cressington Ward councillor has made it clear to the city's great and good, of which she is a fairly permanent habitue, that she has become increasingly disenchanted with fireman Bradley's motley crew.

Her unhappiness is long standing and goes back as far as the civil war which erupted between Storey and Henshaw.

Apparently she has complained consistently ever since about the Lib Dem's lack of delivery and their persistent failure to improve the city council's services.

She has also made it clear to close confidantes that she is unhappy at the do-nothing drift and lack of direction which £250,000-a-year Cover Up has cleverly masterminded for the last year.

There has been some feverish speculation that Fraenkel, who is, (completely bizarrely, ed) the council's 'design guru', might even cross the floor to Labour.

To nip any such disastrous defection in the bud, senior Lib Dem's are now plotting to de-select her from her ward.

So she will be pushed, before she can jump.

Or before she can summon, for starters, fellow Lib Dem Councillors Clucas, Kemp and Hurst to give evidence to her committee and account for their astonishing actions, which we have detailed elsewhere.

CULTURE DUO VOW TO GO DOWN WITH THE SHIP!

2007-05-15T22:58:00.000+01:00

TWO well-known directors of the Culture Company have decided to stay put after weeks of agonising.
We are reliably informed that both Radio Merseyside's Roger Phillips and Brookside creator Phil Redmond have given serious thought to jumping ship from the Culture Company Board before it hits the iceberg.

Both have told friends and colleagues of their growing disenchantment with the Culture Company and all who sail in her.
However, less wise counsels have apparently now prevailed and the pair have been finally persuaded to abandon thoughts of resigning and instead see out the looming disaster.
(After that it will be every man for himself, never mind women and children first, ed)
Readers will recall how both were put on the Culture Board in a forlorn attempt to silence the sceptics and inject some much needed credibility.
However, we can report that both have since been left angry and frustrated at the lack of tangible progress in plans for 2008.
Both have loudly complained inside the Fun Palace at Millennium House about the woeful lack of communication and the failure to capture the public's imagination or involvement.
But they have signally failed to have any impact on the Harbarrowboy steaming ahead with his pitiful plans.

Neither can point to anything which they have achieved in their sojourn on board ship.
Staying put means, of course, that their deafening silence will now be interpreted as support.
But come the day of reckoning they could find there will be no room left for them in the crowded lifeboats.

NEWS FROM INSIDE THE LIB DEM GROUP...

2007-05-12T23:07:00.000+01:00

Dear Tony,

Just a note for you to use however you see fit.
At the Lib Dem Group meeting last week, which elected Warren Bradley unopposed, our erstwhile firefighter made a historic promise.
He told us: "If Joe Anderson ever becomes leader of the city council, I shall leave the city."
Some of us thought this was tempting fate a little.
One or two others apparently thought this was a good enough reason to cross the chamber and help Anderson next year.
Whatever, it illustrated just how out of his depth and lacking in judgement Bradley is.
The silly boy.
Some of us despair of him ever growing up and being anything other than teacher's pet to Storey....
I am sure you will have fun with this....

Eagle eye

FORGETFUL FRANK FAILS TO FILL IN FORM AND ***** UP!

2007-04-25T21:56:00.000+01:00

A BLUNDER by Lib Dem councillor Frank Doran has caused red faces amongst his yellow colleagues in the run-up to next Thursday's council elections.

Forgetful Frank failed to renew his entry on the city council's electoral register and was left unable to nominate his party colleague Inspector Clueless, Richard Marbrow.

The more cynical have conjectured that this was a deliberate mistake by Frank, a former desert rat.

But we can reveal that Frank simply ****ed it up (there's an alarming amount of alliteration in this post already, ed)

Forgetful Frank managed to ignore three letters from the council asking him to return a form confirming he still lived at 37 John Lennon Drive and was still eligible to vote.

Perhaps he was arrogant enough to think that the council staff would put it through on the nod for him?

But they didn't. They followed the rules instead.

So it came to pass after the requisite period, that forgetful Frank was removed from the electoral register altogether.

Thankfully for him, he had ticked sufficient boxes on his nomination form when he was last elected in 2004.

That meant his failure to appear on the register did not mean he would be thrown off the council (do not cry 'shame' at this point, ed)

It was only when he came to sign clueless colleague Marbrow's nomination papers that he finally discovered his oversight.

His mistake has now been rectified and he is back on the register.

And he will also be able to vote for his bumptious colleague if he wants.

(But will be part of a very small, steadily dwindling group, addicted to pizza and pomposity in equal measure, if he does, ed).

He has not, however, been able to nominate his clueless colleague as he was too late to do this.

(Which numbskull did nominate him then? ed)

But here's an intriguing thought - could Frank's failure to respond to the three letters delivered to 37 John Lennon Drive be accounted for by the fact that he does not actually rest his weary head there at the end of a long hard day?

And if he is not there, where is he? (Afghanistan again? ed)

Clearly he doesnt pop round to collect his mail often enough!

thanks for the help with this post...

COVER UP SENDS AN EMAIL ABOUT HIS JOLLIES - AND LEAVES THE SMILING ASSASSIN IN CHARGE (gawd help us!)

2007-04-09T21:02:00.000+01:00

EMAIL SENT BY COVER UP TO EXECUTIVE DIRECTORS AND COUNCILLORS....

Dear Colleague

As from Monday 2nd April I will be on two weeks annual, returning to the office on Monday 16 April. During this time I will out of the country and will not be able to access emails, though these will be regularly reviewed by my office and they will able to assist with any queries in my absence. The Deputy Chief Executive for April is Phil Halsall who will be the contact for any urgent issues that arise during this period, his office contact number is 225 2347.

Regards

Colin Hilton

ELECTIONS OFFICER COLIN COVER-UP GOES OFF ON HIS JOLLIES, WHILE LIVERPOOL GOES TO THE POLLS

2007-04-09T12:12:00.000+01:00

CURRENT city council chief executive Colin Hilton has jetted off on a luxury five-star holiday in the middle of the local election campaign.

Nothing too surprising about that - except that Colin Cover-Up is getting paid £25,000 a year as Chief Returning Officer for those very same council elections.

So if anything goes wrong with the elections this year - lost ballot papers, poor access to polling stations, a fuss over postal votes - we can phone up Cover Up at his luxury hotel and be assured of his immediate attention.

It shows that nothing very much has changed since Henshaw was in charge.

Avid readers will recall that Henshaw got rid of the previous Returning Officer, Charlie Lasham on trumped up charges, so he could then pocket the £25,000 a year Chief Returning Officer fee and puff up his ego by reading out the results on election night.

Soon after knifing Lasham, Henshaw disappeared on a luxury holiday in the middle of the campaign.

Then 200 residents of a tower block in Everton found they had been missed off the electoral register and couldn't vote because of his incompetence.

Imagine Henshaw's fury and embarrassment when he returned from his £6,000 sojourn to find the Mersey Mart had splashed on the story complete with a glossy picture of his sunshine retreat in the Caribbean.

We can only hope the same fate befalls Cover Up who has also pocketed the £25grand Chief Returning Officer's fee and then buggered off to the sunshine. Like father, like son.

COUNCILLOR RICHARD KEMP, THE ARCH HYPOCRITE, ABUSES HIS POSITION AGAIN...

2007-04-03T10:32:00.000+01:00

LIB DEM Councillor Richard Kemp is fond of complaining about the actions of other councillors.
In particular, we are told, Councillor Kemp (or Clever Dick to his mates) seems to object to some councillors emailing their colleagues from their place of work. (more of this in the future, ed)
So, imagine our surprise and consternation when the email missive below arrived for our perusal.
For it has originated from none other than Councillor Kemp, architect of the Boot Estate fiasco, self-styled housing 'expert' and arrogant tosser.
And what's this????????
Has he really abused the computer of the PLUS Group (the parent company for CDS Housing) and their email facilities, to send out his self-important thoughts about council business????
Shurely shome mistake, Clever Dick?

Complaints about this abuse of position and facilities, should be sent to The PLUS Group Chief Executive Ken Perry. Preferably by EMAIL. Here's his contact details:

Email: ken.perry@plusgroupltd.org.uk

Telephone: 0151 708 4611

And here's the Kemp email about Everton and Liverpool (talk about an own goal! ed)

From: richard.kemp@plusgroupltd.org.uk [mailto:richard.kemp@plusgroupltd.org.uk]

Sent: 02 April 2007 13:30

To: Radford, Steve

Cc: Dean, Alan; Fearnehough, Alan; Walker, Alan (Councillor); Makinson, Andrew; Tremarco, Andrew; Rothery, Anna; Hines, Ann; Collinge, Barbara; Mace, Barbara; Fraenkel, Beatrice; BentonJ@parliament.uk; Williams, Ben; Turner, Berni; Ousby, Bob; Lenton, Chris; Newby, Chris; Eldridge, Colin; Antrobus, Dave; Hanratty, Dave; Irving, David; Jones, Doreen; Knight, Doreen; Clein, Eddie; Allen, Elaine; ellmanl@parliament.uk; Kemp, Erica; Clucas, Flo; Cooke, Frank; Doran, Frank; Prendergast, Frank; Ben-Tovim, Gideon; Hulme, Graham; Williams, Hazel - Councillor; Jobling, Ian; Phillips, Ian; Ian Macdonald; Spriggs, Jack; Corbett, Jane; jane.kennedy@parliament.uk; Clein, Jan; Seddon, Jean; Lang, Joan; Anderson, Joe (Councillors /Municipal Buildings); Hanson, Joseph; Clucas, John; Coyne, John; McIntosh, John; Mullen, Josephine; Afford, Karen; Turner, Keith; Firth, Kevin; kilfoylep@parliament.uk; Reid, Kiron; Sidorczuk, Laurence; Buckle, Linda-Jane; Baldock, Louise; Kelly, Malcolm; Kennedy, Malcolm; Fielding, Marilyn; Storey, Mike; Stewart, Nadia; Small, Nick; Mills, Norman; Holleran, Patricia; Keaveney, Paula; Walton, Pauline; Brant, Paul; Clark, Paul; Clein, Paul; Millea, Peter; Allen, Peter; Roberts, Richard; Kemp, Richard; Marbrow, Richard; Oglethorpe, Richard; White, Richard; Quinn, Robbie; Johnston, Roger; Gould, Ron; Bailey, Rose; Gladden, Roz; Sullivan, Sharon; Kelsey, Sarah; STAPLETONJ@parliament.uk; Hurst, Stephen; Munby, Stephen; Monkcom, Stuart; Marshall, Tom; Gould, Tina; Best, Vera; Bebb, Violet; wareingr@parliament.uk; Bradley, Warren (Leader of the City Council)

Subject: RE: Keeping Everton in the City

Ian and Members,

You may recall that some years ago when I had responsibility for this I made continual efforts to get Everton to come and talk with the Council. After a year without even getting an acknowledgement I gave up. Liverpool replied to the initial letter within hours of receiving it.

Cllr Richard Kemp,mobile 07885 626913

The rottweiller McElhinney joins the lecture circuit - on behalf of Liverpool city council

2007-03-27T13:11:00.000+01:00

HERE is some semi-intelligible, self-serving, hypocritical rubbish about a conference which is being held next month in London.

No doubt the cost of attending will be almost equivalent to McElhinney's weekly expenses claim.

However the conference, which is apparently about giving the public a better deal, will not cost anything like the millions which McElhinney's corruption cost the council taxpayers of Liverpool.

However, there is also an item at the end, which may be of further interest, since there appears to be some considerable doubt about who McElhinney is employed by and therefore accountable to.

You can skip all this tosh and go straight to the highlighted bit if you like.

Following the recent recommendations of Sir David Varney, which calls for service transformation through a better service for citizens and businesses and a better deal for taxpayers, CCA will host a public sector seminar on 24 April 2007 in London to examine the implications of the Varney report and to offer defined solutions to the challenge of best practice service delivery to both employees and citizens.BBC Broadcaster Liz Barclay, will represent the citizen in her role as chair, challenging presenters and delegates with their needs, demands and frustrations in mind. Hearing almost daily from people who are perturbed by the level of service they receive, Liz is ideally placed to carry out this role and add the customer dimension to all elements of the programme.Anne Marie Forsyth, Chief Executive of CCA, said: "The Varney recommendations will have a gargantuan impact on how the public sector delivers it services in the next decade and we have created a programme which will deliver key educational learning outcomes on the challenges of change and the role of best practice."Having already gone through a significant consolidation programme, Nick Lodge, Director of Customer Contact at HMRC, will share his approach to the next stages and will discuss if it is possible to deliver great service with fewer employees.With local authorities operating 50% of public sector contact centres, an interactive panel debate will look at how they meet the challenges that arise due to services becoming increasingly complex and rising demand from citizens. You will hear how our panel of local authority contact centres have effectively implemented change with in their centre and will understand what impact this has had on employees and citizens alike. Panel members include Dan Paul, Gateshead Council; Paul Twine, Westminster City Council; David McElhinney, Liverpool City Council, Isabelle Bignall of Cardiff City Council and Robert Irons, COI.
Additional Information
Numbers for this event are limited. To register your attendance or to find out more, tel: 0141-564 9384 or email events@cca.org.uk - events@cca.org.uk

So the question is this - is the rottweiller McElhinney representing Liverpool city council or not? And if so, why hasn't anyone from the city council had the bottle to discipline or suspend him for the millions he has stolen from council tax payers?

Not to mention the blondes ladies who he has fixed up with jobs. (I told you not to mention that, ed)

SO WHO IS LYING JAYNE? AND IS ANYONE ASKING?

2007-03-16T22:05:00.000Z

WORD reaches us that Jayne Casey, of The A Foundation, is now denying that she handbagged £25,000 for lying about in a bed at St George's Hall.
She has laughed off the blog's post and claims that she was paid nothing for her appearance at the dismal launch of the Culture Company's programme (sic) for 2008.
This is the opposite of what senior people at the Culture Company have been gossiping about for the last two months. They have been privately outraged at the way money is routinely wasted by the Harbarrowboy.
So someone is lying.
But who?
Jayne has been dismissive to journalists who have tried to ask her about the cost.
Sadly most journalists then seem to have abandoned any hope of finding out the truth.
None seem to have had the gumption to ask the Culture Company for the total cost of the 2008 launch, which of course involved councillorsd quaffing free booze and canapes.
Nor has anyone asked how much was paid to consultants, like Jayne, who were involved in the launch.
A Freedom of Information question would have put the Culture Company on the spot a bit.
And if they resorted to the council's usual tactic of breaking the law and refusing to answer, it might have given us a little clue about whether Jayne was paid £25,000 or not. (Perhaps it was £24,999? ed)

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: SENSATIONAL NEW PICTURE OF ONE OF THE ROTTWEILLER MCELHINNEY'S FAVOURITE BLONDES...

2007-03-08T00:09:00.000Z

2007-03-01T20:52:00.000Z

VICTORY FOR THE BLOG: City Council forced to stop Careline answering calls about turkeys

2007-02-25T12:41:00.000Z

Liverpool city council has been forced to stop its Careline staff from answering calls about Bernard Matthew's infected turkeys.

The move followed the huge flap caused at the Municipal Buildings following our last 'Its not bootiful' post.

The council has now told the rottweiller McElhinney that specially trained social services staff should not be used to answer calls on behalf of DEFRA.

Instead, they should continue to answer calls about children at risk and the most vulnerable people.

The council are now able to truthfully deny that Careline staff are working for DEFRA.

But they WERE answering such calls - until we made it public.

Our post resulted in a flurry of activity at the MO, with leading councillors asking serious questions and worse, demanding truthful answers (!) and even the Echo motivated to make a few tentative enquiries.

But the Echo were easily fobbed off with some careful phrasing and the bureaucrats are now drawing up an unitelligible report to confuse and therefore quieten down any unruly councillors.

Meanwhile McElhinney, chief exec of Liverpool Direct Limited at MisadVenture Place, has escaped as usual with just a verbal ticking off from 'Cover Up'.

The much heralded fight with Peter Cosgrove never materialised (predictably, ed).

However, the LDL contract with DEFRA over the turkey flu outbreak in Suffolk continues (isn't that worth an Echo story then? ed) with council staff, seconded to LDL, continuing to handle calls.

ITS NOT BOOTIFUL! - THE ROTTWEILLER MCELHINNEY STARTS AN ILLEGAL TURKEY SHOOT!

2007-02-21T23:19:00.000Z

Liverpool City Council staff have been forced to work on the Bernard Matthews turkey crisis in Suffolk!
Specially trained social work staff who normally handle calls to the council's Careline have been ordered by McElhinney to take calls about bird flu instead!
Liverpool call centre staff have also been instructed to take calls as part of a contract the evil McElhinney has negotiated with DEFRA.
(Christ almighty, no wonder the council's own services are so bad, ed)
Careline is the social services call line for those vulnerable people who cam sometimes be in desperate need of help. It is also used to alert the proper authorities if someone is in an emergency.
(It is NOT for turkeys, ed)
But instead of answering such Careline calls at McElhinney's lair in (Misad)Venture Place, council staff are now taking calls about a mangey turkey outbreak miles away from Liverpool.
Staff are appalled at what they have been ordered to do - but dare not stand up to the evil rottweiller.
His 'yes sir, no sir' sidekick - Councillor Richard 'Inspector Clueless' Marbrow - is well aware of what is going on and has done his best to hush it all up.
Until now.
What makes the lucrative contract with DEFRA (how much is that worth then? ed) even more scandalous is that McElhinney (left) is acting illegally in forcing staff to comply.
(Doesn't it just show everyone that the arrogant **** has still not learnt his lesson and thinks he can get away with murder? ed)
Staff have been denied annual leave so that the LDL contract with DEFRA is covered.
Staff from the One Stop Shops have also been offered overtime to make sure the contract is covered.
Staff have even been taken out of the One Stop Shops during their normal working hours to help take calls.
But there is some good news...
McElhinney is shitting himself because city council Assistant Executive Director Peter Cosgrove has been informed of what has gone on.
Cosgrove is one of the genuinely good guys and although considered weak by some, would love to get McElhinney bang to rights.
Cosgrove has been copied into some damaging email correspondence which McElhinney sent to staff and the rottweiller has now gone off the deep end to try and cover his tracks (again, ed) .
In an attempt to bully and intimidate staff he has launched his own personal investigation into who forwarded what email, to whom and why.
The Head of Human Resources, Collette Hannay, has also become officially involved and is aware of how McElhinney has broken the law (she won't do anything about it, ed).
Not surprisingly, the thieving rottweiller has now enlisted his long-standing accomplice, the smiling assassin Hasitall to try and dig him out of the turkey shit!
It is all very hush hush and in the end, Colin 'Cover Up' can probably be relied upon to sweep up all the turkey shit into his fancy pigeon loft at the back of the MO.
So that's why we are telling you now...
And we would just add:
Isn't it about time that the city council put its own house in order FIRST?

HEY, WE HAVE AN EXCLUSIVE PICTURE OF JAYNE CASEY AND HER £25,000 BED! YOU JUDGE IF THE CULTURE COMPANY HAS SPENT TAXPAYERS MONEY WISELY...

2007-02-16T14:09:00.000Z

At St George's Hall, Jayne Casey in action on the £25,000 bed (is this what's known as a foursome then? ed) and above right in an earlier, presumably less profitable, incarnation...

Question: How much did it cost the Culture Company to get Jayne Casey into bed for the night? Answer: £25,000 (apparently)

2007-02-15T11:09:00.000Z

FRANKIE SAYS LET'S ALL GO TO HOLLYWOOD AND HAVE A GOOD TIME.... said...: hey Tony, guess how much Jayne Casey was paid by the Culture Company to loll about on a bed for the night?
A cool £25 grand!!!!
You will remember that Jayne, once of the pop group, Big in Japan and now of The A Foundation and the 'Independents District' and a well known extremely gobby scouser who is also a bit loopy, was one of the, ahem, 'stars of the show' when the Culture Company launched its programme for 2008 in St Georges Hall?
This was when they spent a huge amount of money, God knows exactly how much on balloons, glitter and free nosh and booze for the invited guests including a number of leading Lib Dem councillors of course who were quick to get their noses in the trough.
But it is now common knowledge in the Culture Company that they paid Ms Casey an astonishing £25 grand to turn-up and do her stuff.
She was apparently one of the self-styled 'artistes' they hired to entertain the hoi polloi during the night.
Jayne's artistic contribution to the event's festivities took place in St George's Hall's small ballroom which was got up like a bordello, all crimson satin, lace and feathers and a huge bed.
She proceeded to invite passers by to join her on th bed. Not sure how many took her up on this, however.
This was all to do with some film she was promoting, but it was completely lost on me. And it seemed to me that harbarrowboy was desperate to have the self-appointed 'independents' on board for the launch.; so he probably reckoned £25 grand was cheap to make sure Jayne didn't go all gobby over culture and have a go.; not that jayne could be bought off by anyone, oh no.; hope this isn't too libellous for you Tone, but i thought people should know who and what their public money is being spent on when the council are making 50 million quids worth of cuts in services. No doubt even more money has been equally well spent...; Thursday, February 15, 2007 11:03:00 AM

In a spin over summer pops....

2007-02-13T08:51:00.000Z

AND AN EXPLANATION FOR WHY THERE HAVE BEEN SO MANY FREE PUFFS FOR THE ARENA IN THE ECHO AND THE POST IN THE LAST FEW WEEKS....

Jane said...
Guess who the spin doctor for the new arena is Tony?
None other than your old friend Jon Brown, who worked so assiduously on behalf of Chas at the infamous lobbying meeting with the Harbarrowboy, way back when the evil cabal website was running rampant.
Dunno whether Brown had to formally tender for the job, or how much it was worth, but he was an obvious shoe-in being so close and friendly to Chas, I would have thought.
Makes it much easier for Chas for them both to have the same PR person, when he brings back the Pops at the arena next year.
And won't that be hunky dory for everyone then?
Lots of loverly cash...

Monday, February 12, 2007 11:48:00 PM

Another interesting contribution about the Summer Pops. (also gives us a great excuse to use this picture again...)

2007-02-11T18:58:00.000Z

Fair play said...

vis-a-vis the summer pops and halsall's mate chas...

why was it that six weeks ago at an entirely different meeting, the harbarrowboy and his american accomplice kris donalson were telling anyone who would listen that if chas didn't get the Pops then no-one would.

and that he was the best person to do it again in 2008.

what did they know and when?

and i thought these decisions were made by councillors?

what a stitch up, aided and abetted incidentally by your mates at the daily post who swallowed a briefing from the council and chas cole, hook line and sinker. portraying him as a great benefactor for giving us the pops for the last six years (how much did he make?) and again trotting out the line that his was the best tender!

it is literally unbelievable.

aside from the two press releases that were sent out on this, halsall was very active in talking to journalists....

Sunday, February 11, 2007 6:58:00 PM

good conspiracy theory...

2007-02-06T22:01:00.000Z

tom said...
im surprised that you have not said this before, but the cuts crisis is all part of the smiling assasin halsall's revenge.
as you have rightfully said already he has been in charge of the council's finances for the last six years so any crisis with cuts is his responsibility.
except what is going to happen to him? nothing. they cant touch him for it. this he knows.
so he haS gone out of his way to manufacture this financial cock-up firstly to embarrass warren bradley, who the assassin loathes, ands then secondly once this has all sunk in, halsall will ride to the rescue with a balanced budget showing bradley how indispensable he is
and how he can dig the lib dems out of a financial hole at any time. or put them in one. simple really.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007 9:58:00 PM

WILL THE SECRET TAPES TOPPLE BRADLEY, STOREY AND CLARK?

2007-02-02T07:26:00.000Z

ASTONISHING but persistent rumours are sweeping the city about secret tapes which reveal the inside story of the campaign against Henshaw's evil cabal.
The series of tapes are rumoured to heavily incriminate current council leader Warren Bradley, (below left, on the phone interestingly enough, ed) former leader Mike Storey (centre) and the city's first citizen in 2008, Councillor Paul Clark (right)
The gang of three are all said to feature in the secret tape recordings (wow, shades of Watergate, ed) of phone conversations they made between April 2005 and September last year. Then they suddenly stop, for some reason.

The city's chattering classes have been agog in recent weeks with feverish and growing speculation about what the tapes contain - and when, and if, they will ever be made public.
But according to one informed source, the tapes allegedly provide the inside story on council leader Warren Bradley's role against Henshaw's evil cabal.
It's claimed the tapes show how Bradley was secretly involved in bringing evidence against Sir Diddy's rottweiller, Dr David McElhinney, who is still on the council's payroll.
At one point Bradley is alleged to have been taped confirming that all of the allegations on Tony Parrish's legendary liverpool evil cabal blog were true.
He then goes on to say McElhinney "should be in Walton Jail" for the crimes he has committed and the theft of millions of pounds from council taxpayers. (good for him then, ed)
But unfortunately, any publication or broadcast of the tapes would inevitably mean a full-scale investigation by the Standards Board which governs the conduct of councillors in England and Wales.
They would also raise the question of Bradley's actions as leader of the council, his relationships with senior council staff and also bring into question his personal behaviour.
The tapes would also beg the question of why he has done nothing to remove McElhinney or his accomplice, the smiling assassin, Halsall from their lucrative sinecures with the city.
Insiders believe that the tapes are potentially so explosive and so damaging they would inevitably spell the end of Bradley's short tenure as Lib Dem leader.
They would also raise questions about why Bradley sacrificed the city's best interests for a quite life at the Municipal Buildings and condoned the loss of millions of pounds in public money.
(This at a time when the council is now planning massive cuts, ed)
Observers say if the tape rumours are true, Bradley would have to resign.
A similar resignation fate could also befall Storey, whose political career would be dealt a fatal blow by a second appearance before the Standards Board.
Rumour has it that on the secret tapes he tells the full story of his battles with Henshaw and his attempts to bring McElhinney and Halsall to justice (what's so wrong with that, then? ed)
Publication would again underline Storey's helplessness and weakness as a politician and his failure to force new chief executive Colin 'Cover Up' Hilton to take any action.
Storey is also said to be remarkably indiscreet about some of his senior council colleagues on the Executive Board and Hilton, as well as giving the shocking low-down on the appointment of Culture Company chief executive Jason The Harbarrowboy (bloody hell, I can't wait for this! ed)
The role of Councillor Clark, a barrister, and a close colleague of Bradley and Storey is just as interesting.
According to one astounding rumour, Clark, who is due to be Lord Mayor in 2008, could face action from the Law Society as a result of what the tapes reveal.
At one point Clark is also rumoured to have admitted, in a damning indictment of the Lib Dem regime at the Town Hall: "We couldn't run a piss-up in a brewery."
The tapes are said to be 'absolutely lethal and political dynamite'.

We await further developments with great interest....
(Can we quickly sort out how to broadcast audio on this blog? ed)

LIVERPOOL'S 800TH BIRTHDAY FIREWORKS - LET'S ALL GO OUT TO DINNER, SHALL WE?

2007-01-24T23:46:00.000Z

LIVERPOOL'S firework display to celebrate the city's 800th birthday is set to be a damp squib.

Why, we can hear you speculating...?

1) Because firework displays are a tired old cliche, usually trotted out by lame brains with no better ideas?
or
2) Because, (typically, ed) 'Jase' and the Culture Company dickheads didn't consult anyone about their great display until after they had officially announced the plans?
or
3) Because the dolts at the Culture Company forgot that it doesn't get dark until quite late actually, in summer?
or
4) Because the city's little kids will all be safely tucked up in bed and fast asleep when this firework display finally starts? (shurely shome mistake here, ed)
or
5) Because it will be way past the bed time of the city's grannies?
or
6) Because even the city council have called for it to be scrapped?
or
7) Because the display won't be a patch on London's spectacular New Year's Eve celebrations which lit up the Thames?
or
8) Because (typically, ed) the Culture Company have hyped it all up to be the 'biggest in Europe' when it will be lucky to be the biggest in the North West?
or
9) Because having a fireworks display on August 28th is generally a pretty unimpressive way in which to celebrate the historical significance of Liverpool's 8ooth birthday, fails to take account of the practical difficulties, demonstrates a spectacular lack of originality and dearth of ideas but which the Echo will nevertheless, no doubt hail as a major triumph for Liverpool's world renowned cultural offer. (knoworrameanlike, ed)
No, the firework display will be a damp squib for none of these reasons, especially.
(Although all of them are individually and collectively true, obviously, ed)
The main reason that the firework display will be a damp squib will be because the mastermind behind this incredibly unoriginal idea will not even be in Liverpool to witness his handiwork backfire!
That's right.
Colleagues say that former council leader Mike Storey will be away at his usual six-week-long family holiday in France.
(Are you sure he is not going away because he is frightened of all the noise that those bangers will make? He has never been renowned before for his personal courage, has he? ed)
Storey's absence makes his defence of his own idea for the summer fireworks all the more bizarre, some would say hypocritical.
Here it is, from the Echo:

Cllr Mike Storey, who is overseeing the city’s birthday celebrations, is happy with the arrangements. (oh, that's all right then, ed)

He said: “In terms of the light, the event takes place two months after mid-summer so it should not be a problem. (we'll see, ed)

“Firework displays are always difficult in the winter, but in the warmer summer climate we will not need to worry about fireworks blowing over or the event being called off. (is that a promise then? ed)

“We are expecting a massive turnout (where? ed) and plan a wonderful night when people can go out for a meal and then take in the display later in the evening. (you what??????????Are you paying then, Mike?????! And for those of us who can't afford to dine out on August 28th? I know, why don't we all pop around to yours for a barbie and you can treat us to some of those truffles, foie gras and that excellent cabernet you brought back from France last time? Oh, I forgot, you won't be home in time, will you? ed)

“There is no better way to celebrate Liverpool’s birthday than a spectacular event for Liverpudlians, visitors and a huge television audience.” (yes there is - you just couldn't be arsed to come up with something suitable and because the talentless mob you have put in charge of Culture haven't got any original ideas. And just how huge will this vast television late-night audience be then? Just those anoraks like me who watch the late night North West headlines on the Beeb? ed)

We shall leave the final word to Councillor Tina Gould, who, surprisingly, spoke sound common sense when her committee called for the whole idea to be scrapped.

“We felt fireworks have been done to death and something with a lasting legacy could be arranged with the same money. It is billed as being the biggest display in Europe, but having seen the New Year event in London, I do not think it will be."

MARK MY WORDS! Daily Post gets a new Editor

2007-01-19T17:45:00.000Z

CONGRATULATIONS to Mark Thomas on being appointed as new editor of the Liverpool Daily Post.
Thomas is that rarity in the Merseyside media world - a journalist who is serious about his trade and genuinely cares about the future of Liverpool and the way that it is governed.
He is also rare amongst his fellow Liverpool scribes in actually being interested in what goes on (or doesn't, ed) in the corridors of power and trying to cover it in his paper!
Thomas it was, in May 2005, who first published the exclusive details of evil Henshaw's threats to the then leader of the council, Mike Storey.
From that point on Henshaw's attempted coup d'etat was doomed to failure.
Having become public knowledge thanks to some judicous and well-informed leaking to the Post by at least one council employee, the diddy dictator's days were well and truly numbered (well done, all concerned, ed).
Of course, ever since then, the Post has consistently put the Echo to shame with its revelations about the evilcabal and the goings on at the Town Hall.
Thomas has never been any fan of Henshaw's personal style of bullying, threats and intimidation and has been well aware of all the sordid, ugly tactics used by the cabalists.
His personal views are well known, even if he has been constrained from expressing them in the pages of the Post.
But he has ensured that the Post keep tabs on it all - and maintains an informed and knowledgeable perspective.
We will, of course, hammer the life out of him if he seeks to take the Daily Post downmarket to keep the Echo company.
Or if he gives up the Posts's interest in the city council and Culture Company.
We will also take him apart if the Post's sponsorship deal with the Culture Company stops it exposing the failings of 2008. Which is a concern of journalists.
But somehow we don't think that will happen. Given the restrictions Thomas has to work within, we think the Post is in good hands.

AN INTERESTING COMMENT ABOUT SIR DAVID HENSHAW WHICH DESERVES A WIDER AUDIENCE....

2007-01-11T14:35:00.000Z

Anonymous said...
to get serious for a minute...you should know that Sir Diddy has run as fast as his little legs will carry him to his solicitors, following the post on the henshaw evil cabal blog about the Guardian lecture. he is threatening writs, libel actions, injunctions, judiucial reviews and all kinds of other legal jiggery pokery to again try and close the blog down. his solicitors are brabners again. This has all come from a colleague of his wife (who is herself a nice person, given who she lives with). Sir Diddy is also apparently in regular contact with Mceilhenny and halsall and the three of them met for dinner before xmas at a hotel in Cheshire - but i doubt whether Diddy paid! One bizarre thing - he has also been talking to the cops to see if he can persuade them to do something. he says he is being persecuted! The irony of it! He is really worried about the Guardian lecture and whether anyone is going to take the piss out of him publicly in front of the great and the good and has seriously talked to someone from the guardian about improving security or pulling out! christ knows who he thinks he is. but his solicitors have advised him to carry on. He is apparently furious at Finnegan and the Tony Parrish campaign, which appears to have had a big impact at westminster amongst labour mps and in other local councils. according to the girls, henshaw is afraid that he is now regarded as being completely persona non grata and worries constantly about important people snubbing him. which must be true!
but the best news is this - they are talking about leaving liverpool and moving somewhere else! hurrah!
anyway, watch out for the lawyers lads - even though he is full of the usual bluster, you never know what he will do when he gets in a tizz. and he has got the money. will try to keep you up-dated on any other developments...

Thursday, January 11, 2007 2:34:00 PM

The Harbarrowboy - future MP or first elected Mayor ?

2007-01-04T21:04:00.000Z

Are you sitting down?

Then please prepare yourself for a nasty shock....
Word reaches us that Jason Harbarrowboy, aka as the Chief Executive of Nothing, harbours strong political ambitions!
(Pass the smelling salts, someone! ed)
It appears that 'Jase' - for this is the nomenclature which he apparently favours - is already putting in place his bid for power, post 2008.
Those in the know say that the Harbarrowboy has specifically enlisted the support of a London-based Public Affairs agency, LLM Communications in his campaign.
Although LLM have had no noticeably favourable impact on Liverpool's standing in Westminster (didn't the Government tell the council to go away in short jerky movements when Bradley held out his begging bowl for £8million quid for extra 2008 bobbies? ed), it seems that 'Jase' has availed himself of their 'strategic political advice.'
It is alleged that the Harbarrowboy is old friends with one of LLM's Directors and the pair have been masterminding his bid to rule the world for the last 12 months.
The Harbarrowboy is now said to be eyeing up potential seats all over the country while cosying up big time to the movers and shakers in Westminster.
Apparently those of, shall we say, a 'long in the tooth' disposition are the MP's who are being specifically targetted by the Harbarrowboy who wishes to be viewed as an anointed successor.
(This is known as ambulance-chasing in the trade, ed)
However, there are several things that are not known about this unexpected development:

1) How much LLM are being paid by the people of Liverpool for their services?

2) Whether LLM were appointed in accordance with the council's strict procurement rules and regulations?

3) Whether the Harbarrowboy used the Culture Company's confused status as a separate entity to avoid the rules and simply phoned up his mates in London and offered them the gig?

4) Whether any relationships or conflicts of interests have been declared by anyone?

5) Whether any councillors have had any involvement in this murky matter?

6) Whether this is another example of Harbarrowboy's lobbying for a private company (shades of CMP and the Summer Pops again, ed).

The most important, intriguing and baffling question of all is this, however:

"Which political party will the Harbarrowboy be representing?"

Or more likely "Who the **** will admit the Harbarrowboy to their ranks?"

Cameron's new-look Conservatives? (Jase is a bit vulgar for the old Etonian, methinks, ed)

Gormless Gordon's charisma-free administration, post Blair? (Anything's possible I suppose and interestingly, LLM are said to be connected to certain Labour establishment figures, ed)

Or Ming's meandering middle of the roaders ? (I would have thought our old friend Councillor Storey might have had some strong representations to make to Ming. And anyway Ming won't last the year as Leader, ed)

Perhaps, in reality, (some mistake here, surely? ed) 'Jase' believes that 2008 will be such a triumph that he will be carried shoulder high by a grateful populace to the door of the Town Hall where the good burghers of the city will have stumped up enough cash and goodwill to enable him to stand as an Independent?

Or maybe 'Jase' secretly fancies his chances of riding the crest of a tsunami of popularity to become the first elected Mayor of Liverpool? (ohmygawd! ed)

Remember, you read it here first....Oh, what interesting times we do live in.

Editor's note: Readers of this particular posting are now advised to go and lie down in a darkened room for several hours while pressing a cold compress to their tortured brows.

WHAT A SWELL PARTY THIS IS....

2006-12-13T16:51:00.000Z

Who = Liverpool Direct Christmas Party
what = Rip off the public and sweeten up the staff
where = Adelphi Hotel
when = 15th December 2006
why = Coz they can
Comments = Starts 7pm, Macca will be there and his hench men and women withquite a lot of blonde women??
Hot and Cold Buffet
Top prizes to be won, e.g. Shower accessories, Boxing gloves, signed photograph of the EVIL CABAL.
Come along on the night to see where your council tax money goes?
contact = Rottweiller industries, Swiss Bank account number 4532896456

CHRISTMAS TRIP TO COLOGNE

2006-12-02T00:46:00.000Z

We hear that the venerable Lady Doreen Jones is off with her Planning Committee on a fact-finding trip to Liverpool's twin city of Cologne within the next few days.
Not sure exactly what facts need to be found in Cologne, but since we are a European Capital of Culture in just over a year, presumably some members of the council have carte blanche to travel all over Europe investigating things.
By complete co-incidence, Cologne's internationally famous Christmas market will be open when the Liverpool delegation arrive in Germany, so it won't all be work. They may well be able to pick up one or two festive treats.
Makes it all seem worthwhile, somehow.

Colin 'Cover Up' tells a tall Storey

2006-11-28T21:44:00.000Z

WORD reaches us that Colin 'Cover Up' has found a new excuse for failing to take action against the evil cabal.
Seems the new £200,000 a year chief executive is blaming former Council Leader, Mike Storey for his 'do nothing' approach.
Hilton is telling anyone who will listen that he could not take action against the rottweiller McElhinney or the smiling assassin Halsall, because to do so would implicate Storey.
(Eh? ed)
Colin 'Cover Up' reckons he has been powerless to bring the cabalists to justice because Storey is a mate of new leader Warren Bradley.
(I am still not following this, ed)
He claims that bringing the McElhinney/Halsall pair of robbers to book would have also brought Storey down.
(How much further down could he go then? ed)
Hilton says they were only allowed to perform their nefarious deeds while Storey was Leader of the council and therefore he would be held responsible if they were brought to justice.
(What about Henshaw then? ed)
Good question. Colin Cover Up seems to have forgotten that Sir Diddy was the evil mastermind behind the cabal and all their wrong-doings, robbery, coup d'etats, theft, blackmail, lies, deceit, threatening behaviour, etc, etc.... (insert any other relevant crime or misdemeanour, ed)
So Hilton is apparently seriously asking other councillors to let him off the hook for his failure, because actually, he is only acting in the interests of the former Leader!
Any thought of holding Henshaw publicly to account for the waste of millions of pounds in public money and the disgraceful abuse of power wielded by the cabal, seems to have escaped the new chief executive's £200,000 a year mind.
(Can't think why, ed)