£150,000 A YEAR, (PLUS 'PERFORMANCE' RELATED PAY @15 PER CENT PER ANNUM), DONALD BULLSHITTER PRETENDS IT'S NOT HIS FAULT!!!!!

DONALD BULLSHITTER GOES ON HOLIDAY AS MACCA ISSUES £1.9MILLION ULTIMATUM OVER ANFIELD GIG

Guess what the Culture Company theme song is?

It's here:



Gallows humour has gripped the Fun Palace as staff watch the £150,000-a-year-plus executives flap around like headless chickens. With one exception - as the Macca ultimatum over Anfield was delivered, CoC Director Donald Bullshitter departed out of the door without an apparent care in the world. Staff have come up with their own theme tune to celebrate the contribution to 2008 made by the likes of Bullshitter, Our Lord Redmond, Jase, McCogloose, et al.

AS THE COST OF THE MACCA CONCERT CLIMBS ABOVE £7.5MILLION, WE BRING YOU JASE'S SALTHOUSE DOCK SCHEME.....

While we're on the subject of the Harbarrowboy....
Below is his back of an envelope Briefing Report on the ill-fated plan to stage the McCartney Concert in Salthouse Dock (remember? the one where the Culture Company were going to stun all the fish and put them in a giant goldfish bowl, eds?).
While the amount of bullshit in the report below is truly astounding, it is worth reading all the way through.
From what we hear it will give you a full insight into the preparations now underway and the spiralling cost of the Macca concert at Anfield.
And it will help you to fully appreciate the gob-smacking stupidity of the people at the city council who are still in charge.
Particularly worthy of your attention - as the bankrupt city council now wrestles with a £60million hole - is the 'back of an envelope budget' that £150,000-a-year Jase has drawn up.
Thrill to some of the completely fictitious estimates he has made for revenue!
How many of these are going to come true for the Macca concert at Anfield eh? Eh? Eh?
We will not mention the totally unsubstantiated figures for estimated costs which Jase appears to have pulled completely out of thin air for the entertainment of CoverUp and his cabal.
They were so obviously and woefully short of the mark that the Salthouse Dock plan had to be scrapped six months later.
However, we learn that the McCartney concert is already costing the city council £7.5 million - but is likely to hit double figures before long.
We shall be returning to this subject in the very near future.
In the meantime, read the Harbarrowboy's report and weep - it will certainly give you little confidence in Jase and his Associates if you have been stupid enough to become one of his new clients....

BRIEFING NOTE
TO: Executive Management Team
SUBJECT: Liverpool Sound Music Event
DATE: 20 March 2007
OFFICER CONTACT: Jason Harborow
Purpose
The purpose of this paper is to provide the EMT with background on The Liverpool Sound music event and gain endorsement of the strategic direction.
Background
a) The Event Overview
The Liverpool Sound will be a unique once in a lifetime festival to celebrate Liverpool’s global status as The World Capital of Pop, featuring events all around the city. The climax will be a spectacular concert broadcast to the world on bank holiday Monday, 26 May 2008. This concert will have a unique atmosphere as a live broadcast, in a world heritage setting. A surprising show with world famous contemporary stars who can talk of how the Liverpool music scene inspired them and their music and how that music has travelled around the world and come back home to be redefined in the place it was born. An international concert, world-class musicians, funny and famous hosts and a fantastic waterside location, all add up to a never to be forgotten moment in time. Where better to celebrate the sound of Liverpool – than in a place from where the city began. Salthouse Dock will become the biggest temporary stage and seating structure this country has ever seen seating over 25,000 people and giving the illusion that both artists and audience are floating on the pool that is Liverpool. The city itself becomes the frame for the stage. Behind the Liver Building, to the side the World Heritage site of the Albert Dock and from the stage a panoramic view of the City Cathedrals and the brand new centre.Less than a hundred years ago most of Europe travelled through Liverpool to get to America indeed nearly a third of all Americans can trace their family’s journey back to this port. From its origins as a slave trade port, the exotic was always part of the fabric of the city. As one of the first multicultural cities in the country the unique acceptance of the different in Liverpool meant that when “The Beatles” stepped off the plane in America and proudly talked about specific “Black” songs that inspired them it was a crucial paradigm shift for the way that Black music was perceived in America. If Liverpool loved this music then so could all of America. The musical links between Liverpool and America are incredibly strong and this concert will be an international demonstration of how this city has been one of the biggest influences in the world of popular music over the last 50 years.
b) BBC Engagement
The BBC is fully supportive of the event and are intending to provide 2½ hours of live coverage on BBC1 on 26 May, 2008 (May Bank Holiday). Radio TWO are planning to spend a week in the city and Radio ONE are also very interested and are researching the John Peel links that could provide special programming for them.
c) Artists
The key Liverpool artist (Macca, ed) is committed to the project and is providing personal support in the approach of key international and UK artists. A preferred participant list has been developed (with a priority shortlist) and approaches are currently being made. This process will take several months and there will certainly be additions and changes as the process unfolds. Booking artists of global stature always takes time and the key to this event being successful is the element of surprise and excitement when the line up is finally announced. A carefully executed PR plan for creating a real demand for ticket sales is vital and any supposition prior to the chosen dates could put in jeopardy all artist negotiations that have to happen behind the scenes.
d) Location
Following a review of all potential locations in Liverpool it was determined that Salthouse Dock would be the perfect option given that it is an iconic location in the heart of the World Heritage site and that it will provide an unparalleled, spectacular backdrop to television that will be beamed nationally and internationally. In one single camera sweep you can tell the story of the city. It is a unique skyline that can only be Liverpool. Music concerts are great for the international broadcast market, but to stand out from the crowd you need a great line up, a great atmosphere and a unique never to be repeated occasion. The Liverpool Sound ticks every box.The proposal is that both the concert stage and the spectator seats will be placed within Salthouse Dock which will give the impression that both are floating on the water. This will help create spectacular television and will showcase Liverpool’s waterfront.
Much work has already been done with dock stakeholders and consultants and it has been confirmed that these plans are feasible both from an engineering and dock operation perspective. We are still to finalise the formal license agreement with GSE and we expect that within the next few months.
e) Location Contingency
We have identified an alternative location (Queen’s Dock) as a contingency. This area was originally selected by Barrie Marshall as an alternative location for PM’s concert in 2003 when there were issues with King’s Dock. Plans and costs are currently being explored.
f) Additional Concert
We are currently planning that there will be a concert on during the weekend just prior to the key event. The purpose of this event will be to provide the BBC with a rehearsal evening at the venue, provide an opportunity for key international and Liverpool artists to perform at Salthouse, give more people a chance to experience a concert at the venue and provide another revenue stream to help offset the costs of creating the Salthouse Dock venue.
g) Music Festival
Given that a number of international artists will be coming to Liverpool some time in advance of the Monday concert, there is a unique opportunity to showcase these and other key artists across the venues of Liverpool in the week leading up to the concert. Initial discussions with television and radio broadcasters have also been very positive regarding their interest in these pre-concert gigs.
h) Event Charitable Structure
To gain participation of some of the world’s greatest artists in this event, it is important that we create a charitable dimension to the project so that the artists are compelled to perform for the cause as well as the uniqueness and profile of the event. Discussions have already been held with both LIPA and Nordoff Robbins (a global music charity that is widely supported by the global music industry) and they have confirmed their support of the event.We will be working with them further to identify the nature of the support and how we can collectively create a legacy for Liverpool and the UK. They also have realistic expectations on the scale of any potential support given the anticipated costs of staging the event. They are also very excited about the potential from national and international exposure.Whilst we are budgeting for a slight surplus on this event with the expectations that an element of this will go to the charities, we have budgeteda guaranteed commitment to the charities, which will both are important to the artists and the media. This is included in the budget outlined below.
i) Company Structure
We are currently exploring with Hill Dickinson the best strategy for the structure of the entity that will both manage the key elements of the event as well as provide a charitable dimension to the overall structure. The current thinking is that a trading arm be established with surplus revenue following all identified expenses transferred to the charitable entity for distribution with agreed protocols.
j) Procurement
The procurement process recommended by the LCC Procurement team will treat the events as four distinctly separate areas:
• Auditorium Construction (Salthouse Dock)• Event and Technical Production• TV Productions and Artist Management• Venue Management
The Auditorium Construction would be a capital expenditure.
The Event and Technical Production will involve all elements of the event production including all associated equipment costs and staffing.
TV Production and Artist Management will consist of all equipment and staff costs for the production of the broadcast in all of its forms (live transmission, webcasting, CD and DVD) as well as all associated costs for the artists involved.
The Venue Management will involve all peripheral costs (staff, barriers, fencing, facilities including toilets) for both the Salthouse Dock event and any other activity across the city.
k) Key Staff
It is important to note that key staff will be required for this event to support the Culture Company team and this has been included in the outlined budget. These include:
• Executive Producer: This person has been in place for approximately 9 months, has already played a major role in developing this event. This person will be focused during the actual event primarily on the television and other broadcast production liaising with the BBC and other international broadcasters.(we shall return to this person soon, eds)
• Event Producer: This person will manage the staging of the event and all technical elements
• Musical Director: This person will be responsible for all the musical elements of the event including working with the Liverpool RoyalPhilharmonic Orchestra and other music partners in Liverpool
• Auditorium Construction: This company will lead the construction of the stage and seating within the Salthouse Dock
• Venue Management: This will be undertaken by the Culture Company Events Team
• Concert and Festival Promotion: We will be shortly inviting interested companies to support us with the promotion of both concerts (with a clear focus on the May Bank Holiday) as well as the Festival leading up to the weekendl)
Launch and Promotional Support
The current plan is that the event will be publicly launched at the end of September by the significant Liverpool artist. (Macca, eds) Given that the opportunities to purchase tickets will be limited (capacity of 25,000) this launch will include a call-to-action for all those who are interested in purchasing tickets to register via the Liverpool.08 website where their details will be captured and a lottery will be conducted with those individuals then contacted to purchase tickets. This has been the normal process for both the Olympic and Commonwealth Games’ Opening Ceremonies as well as recently for Glastonbury. Prior to any lottery, allocations will be made to ensure that a significant percentage of the tickets are available to local people. This process will be developed further and will need LCC endorsement of the strategy.The launch will receive significant global and national coverage and will provide a perfect platform to build awareness of Liverpool 08. A national marketing effort will also be required to support the launch to help maximise the response.
To begin preparing the ground for this launch we are planning for the ’08 website to have a World Capital of Pop page that will play selected Liverpool Songs and this page can then be used to get chat room discussions going on the songs that best sum up the spirit of the city. This is a great opportunity to involve everyone in the city in a discussion about what makes the city unique and why it is the World Capital of Pop.
From September, alongside the ticket launch, each month the 08 site will list a top ten from well known Liverpool faces e.g. Steven Gerrard, Daniel Craig, Anne Robinson, Johnny Vegas etc to build further excitement and interest. These contact details captured will provide a critical foundation for future national marketing efforts to encourage people to take part in 08 and come to Liverpool. It is anticipated that the launch and accompanying marketing effort could result in hundreds of thousands of enquiries.The Festival will also require its own marketing and PR effort, which will be developed following the initial launch
The Liverpool Sound Concert tickets (in some cases including accommodation and transport) will play a crucial role in encouraging ongoingmedia partner support and will be another catalyst to build further awareness and interest for Liverpool 08 and the 08 Programme Highlights.
The Business Plan
Event Revenue Estimates
These represent initial estimates of revenue and should be considered to be at the conservative end of the spectrum:
• Ticketing revenue: Anticipated revenue from two concerts with an average ticket price of £50 (this assumption has been supported by leading concert Promoters) £2.5 M
• Hospitality/concessions revenue: £ 0.25 M
• Merchandise/other: £ 0.15 M
• Global Television Rights. In addition to live BBC1Coverage, The Queen’s Jubilee Concert was able to secure sales of the global television rights. This was also a multi-artist event and The Liverpool Sound may have a more recognisable theme for international sales. The longest running radio programme in the US has been “Breakfast with the Beatles”. £1.25 M
• Event DVD: £1.0 M
• Local Broadcaster Support: Anticipated cost recovery from BBC £ 0.85 M
• Texting revenue: subject to securing a mobile telephone partner and protecting the rights of current CoC partners, there is a possibility of revenue from texting during the ticketing phase as well during the event £.0.25 M
• Additional sponsorship: subject again to protecting Current CoC partners, there is an opportunity to offset some production costs (eg travel, accommodation etc). Similar sponsorship was secured for the Queen’s Jubilee Concert and significant interest has already been received from companies who do not conflict with current CoC Commercial Partners £1.5 M
Total Estimated Revenue £ 7.75 M

Event Cost Estimates
The team consulting on this project have, between them, worked on numerous global television events of a similar stature (e.g. Live 8, Party at the Palace, The Prince’s Trust, Nelson Mandela 46664 Concerts from South Africa and The Grammies.) This expertise and experience is also backed with the engineering skills to manage specific aquatic concerts. With this detailed background knowledge of what it takes to create a global television event, we anticipate the event budget to consist of the following:
• Auditorium Construction £ 1.55 M
• Television Production and Artist Management £ 2.45 M
• Event and Technical Production £ 1.25 M
• Venue Management £ 0.85 M
• Marketing costs: Campaign to support PR efforts £ 0.3 M
• Charity Commitments £ 0.3 M
• Contingency £ 0.66 M
Total Estimated Costs £ 7.36 M
Total Estimated Surplus £ 0.39 M

CAPITAL OF CULTURE PARTY NIGHT: THE ROGUES GALLERY

BOTH former chief executives of the Liverpool Culture Company turned up on Saturday night for the Albert Dock party after the Arena show.


The 'off-sick' Jason Harborow arrived with an apparent retinue of supporters, including ex-Granada boss Sue Woodward and the woman pictured in our exclusive photo.


And Sir Diddy Henshaw was also present in the queue outside the Albert Dock with his wife Alison - although he appears to have turned tail and run for it, shortly after being spotted by our photographer.


Which was lucky for him, because according to reliable declarations from a string of enthusiastic volunteers, Henshaw would have ended up in the dock himself within minutes.The little man ducked and dived in the queue to avoid his photograph being taken and pretended to engage Professor Michael Parkinson in conversation as Lady Henshaw looked on anxiously.


Our spies then collected at the dock entrance, where Pete Price was interviewing random C list celebrities for telly, ready to give Henshaw an early bath.


Only to be left waiting, while Henshaw disappeared sharpish back to North Wales to count his money.



Still there's always a next time.

Between them, the two failed chief execs have trousered more than £600,000 of council taxpayer's money in the run-up to Liverpool, Capital of Culture 2008. Neither paid for their tickets to the Arena - their freebies were authorised by CoverUp.


But spare a thought for poor Jason.


He is in complete denial and appears to think he will be back in charge of CoC Up within weeks.


He went around the Albert Dock professing to anyone who would listen that he was 'fighting fit' and boasting of how much much he had contributed to the Arena show.

As someone remarked - "he might be physically fit, but it sounds as though he's gone a bit doo-lally".


The blog was well represented (purely on the grounds of reporting accuracy, you understand, eds)


Front line staff from the Culture Company were not invited to the piss-up - two free drinks and as much nosh as you could eat - but CoverUp was there, along with a myriad of 'senior' city council boring bureacrats and the usual Lib Dem councillors (so not much of a 'do' then? eds)


The Fireman stomped around, leaving his missus trailing, with a face like thunder (as well he might, according to tales from the fire engine room. Of which more follows soon, eds)


But there was no obvious sign of the Storeyteller.

However, as another spectator remarked: "He must be here if Bradley is here - there's no Punch without Judy".


Acting CoC chief executive, Donald Bullshitter was creeping up to Steve Broomhead from the NWDA, while Henshaw's former £500 a day personal spin 'matron' Alison Hastings, wife of Museums boss David Fleming, spent most of the evening constantly looking over her shoulder.


(Perhaps she was worried that Henshaw might need further attention? eds)


Other interesting snippets:

• That PR bloke, Ben Lucas, from LLM, who trousered £323,000 for doing bugger all, was also loitering around some of the politicians looking for the next money-grabbing opportunity.
  
• The great and the good had apparently been treated to a slap up meal before the show at the Malmaison as part of of a CoC Civic event. Labour leader Joe Anderson was not present.
  
• A mate of Our Lord's, a bloke called Carl, who used to work with Redmond at Mersey TV, was given responsibility for organising the event. We don't know who gave him the go-ahead or why, or even if the event organisation was put out to tender.

And we have no idea how much it cost.
But we were reliably infomed it was in the region of £80,000.
And who paid?
Why you did of course.....!

WIRRAL EXCLUSIVE: MARK RONSON SAYS 'NO' TO LIVERPOOL, SO TOO DOES IAN BROUDIE...

We reveal for your enlightenment, proposals by Ear to the Ground - the Manchester-based company - for the launch of Liverpool Capital of Culture tonight and tomorrow.

Unfortunately top record producer Mark Ronson - 'Valerie' etc - has turned down the opportunity to appear.

As has Ian Broudie, of the Lightning Seeds.

The Culture Company are desperately keeping the list of artists who will be appearing a closely-guarded secret.

So any appearances by anyone will look like a bonus.

Meanwhile, as you know, huge containers will open up outside St George's tonight spilling out Liverpool's cultural offering for 2008. Rather like vomit. (No mention of jobs or the millions wasted etc, eds).

There is huge speculation and joking in the Culture Company that at least one of the containers will contain all the people that have been hired and then fired (guest appearances by Jase, Henshaw, Robbing, etc).

The other will contain all the millions of pounds that has been wilfully and negligently handed over to them and wasted.

Meanwhile, this is a verbatim transcript of how the opening nights are being choreographed by the Mancs from Ear to the Ground.

(PS We know it's not really Gossip, but we couldn't fit this in anywhere else because all the blogs are up to date with important and good stuff and there is more to come. So stay posted, eds)

The provisional performance timeline;
18:30 Start of procession
Mark Ronson and the other artists will be on a ferry travelling down the Mersey. At key points there will be fireworks let off to animate the journey.
At the same time The RLPO will be split on to two open top buses that will lead 2 lantern processions to the arena. The processions will involve other celebrities and people from Liverpool.
19:08 St Georges Hall and the plateau : the city unites
The massed Liverpool artists will be welcomed by the people of the city in front of St Georges’ Hall. Projected clocks on the side of the building mark the countdown as aerial rockets are launched every one of the last eight minutes to the opening of the City of Culture.
Across the plateau there will be art installations and fairground rides, but until 20:08 they are still. Lights are focused across the buildings but again are dimmed, as sky trackers and huge spot lights scan across them.
Around the square huge close up projections of the faces of a cross section of Liverpudlians talk about what their city may become –their fears and hopes for the future.

Proposal
Aim: Mark Ronson to open the Liverpool Arena and European Capital of Culture
Date: 12th January 2008
20:00
The artists arrive and begin to flood out though the doors of the hall onto the steps, in front of the massed crowd.
The tiers of performers interspersed with two dimensional cut out figures of past and absent heroes, recall the famous cover of Sergeant Peppers Lonely hearts Club Band and Adrian Henri’s iconic Hope Street painting. This tableau of Liverpool artists, photoshopped prior to the event, is projected cross the building and accompanied by a soundscape of the people of Liverpool talking about what they so love about the artist’s work they have selected and how it has enriched their lives. These voices are layered and supported by the echoing sound of the sounds and songs of the city, its music, its football crowds, the bells of its cathedrals and favourite songs.
20: 05
A representative of the city makes a short inspirational speech, (so not the Fireman, then eds) inter cut by ever larger markings of the passing minutes. This speech welcomes the artists who the city’s people have chosen to honour at this historic moment (not Henshaw, not Storey, not McElhinney, not Hasitall, not Robbing, not Jase, either, eds) and what their work has meant to them.

It welcomes the artists and people of Europe and the world to come, enjoy and savour the culture of one of the world’s most unique cities.
20:08
The speech concludes, (thank Christ for that, eds) a wall of fountains lift off from the buildings, surrounding the audience in a ring of fire, as huge aerial shells light up the sky.
Through the smoke of this opening salvo a figure is illuminated high above the crowd
on the pinnacle of the Radio Mast. (Is it Cover Up? Perhaps it's Our Lord Redmond? eds)

He holds a guitar, and has a small guitar amp at his feet. (It's Hasitall!, eds) His image, projected across the projection screens, could be that of any of the tens of thousands of young aspirant guitarists, who have been the bedrock of the cities musical fame (Someone from Sirenz? eds)

After a moments pause he plays an opening guitar break. (Don't get too excited. It's Dave Stewart, Liverpool connection unknown. But that's a detail, eds)

As it echoes across the space, flares are released from the building tops all around the crowd, illuminating 200 young guitarists that appear on the rooftops surrounding the crowd below.
Together they play a ‘Liverpool Concerto for guitars’. Their silhouettes fill the skyline of St Georges Hall, Lime Street, the Holiday Inn, The Royal Court, St John’s Car Park, The Empire
As they play a further ten famous Liverpool guitarists are lifted into the air on scissor lifts between each of the pillars of the Hall.
Finally a rhythm section joins in as Ringo Starr is illuminated on the roof above the
Portico, with a support band made up of iconic Liverpool musicians.
From the Portico Roof, Cilla Black steps forward and welcomes the crowd. She is
joined by Atomic Kitten who perform a new version of ‘Step Inside Love’, produced by
Ian Brodie (They can't spell his name properly, but never mind, he's not tuurning up anyway, eds) which is released into the charts the following day.
As the ‘concerto ‘concludes, three cherry pickers rise up into the air. They carry Roger McGough, Levei Tefara and the young winner of a competition run through Liverpool
schools. They who recite three inter locking short poems commissioned specially for the event.
Then as fireworks lift off the building, Dave Stewart, and Ringo Starr perform their new collaboration ‘Liverpool I left you, but never let you down’ , from the St Georges Rooftop, again to be released as a single the following day and delivered at no cost to the event. (Utter Bollocks of course, eds)
There follows a commissioned piece for lone saxophone and a massed Liverpool choir climaxing with the lighting of a large, crane hung ‘08’ fire sculpture and an intense three minute firework display that lights up the sky.
The opening is finished and attention focuses to the evenings main performance.
21:30 The opening of the arena
For the press and VIP’s, the 1000 people who have won tickets through a city wide ballot, and the 7,000 ticket holders, the focus of the evening now shifts to the opening of the New Arena.
For its first public performance, the City commissions an extraordinary new work, a
contemporary reflection and ‘re-invention’ inspired by the musical heritage, reworked,
mixed, stirred and put together again in a radical new way, both a tribute to the past
and mirror to the future.
The concert brings together Mark Ronson, (oh no it doesn't, eds) Vasily Petrenko, the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra, choirs, a cross section of the city’s principal and most famous
musicians from the last forty years and a range of prominent musicians from around
the world.
Staged on an eight tier high and twenty metre wide scaffolding structure, it vertically stacks choirs, musicians and Royal Philharmonic Orchestra vertically in to the air, and through the use of theatrical scrims projects on to them, through them and over them a collage of extraordinary images of the city.
At the centre of the project sits Mark Ronson (oh no he doesn't, eds) While based in New York Mark traces his roots back to Liverpool where his family is from. While growing he became a close family friend of many of Liverpool’s most influential musicians. Today, as a producer
and DJ he has become one of the most influential figures in contemporary music and
production. (But he won't be in Liverpool anyway so it doesn't really matter, does it? eds)
His speciality is the reinvention of songs of the past, fusing them with new beats, rhythms and influences and working with a range of the world’s most prominent vocalists and artists. Past work has included re-workings of ‘Hey Jude’ and the Zuton’s ‘Valerie’ re-recorded by Amy Winehouse. He currently has a number two in the charts, a recreating of a Smith’s song, and an acclaimed new album ‘Versions’. (Good idea (ish) but he isn't here is he? eds)
Mark will work with classical composers, the RLPO and wide selection of contemporary and popular musicians and singers to create this re- imagining of the cities music, a homage its power to inspire new generations of artists. It will range from early traditional Liverpool songs and lullabies, through the songs of the Mersey Sound, to Eric’s and Cream and unsigned new Liverpool bands. It will feature many of the most loved son and daughters of the Liverpool music scene and integrate spoken word and text, featuring the array of writers, poets and playwrights for which the city is famous, figures such as Roger McGough, Willy Russel, Alan Bleasdale and Jimmy McGovern. ('Who invited him then?' - Joe Riley)
The selected song line will be ordered and chosen in such a way to tell the story of the city and the influences that will forge its identity and future, as it explores different ways to re-invent and re-generate itself. (Utter bollocks - ways to waste taxpayers money, eds)
This story will be visually told through a collision of images drawn from the amazing range of visual artists, film makers and photographers who have been inspired by the city’s qualities and identities. It will draw widely on the current Tate exhibition ‘The Centre of the Creative Universe’.
However, like the music, these images will be forged together, in new ways and forms,
manipulated and re-invented with the latest developments in digital film technology, and cutting edge artists from the city.
Initial thoughts for songs include
1. The Beatles Eleanor Rigby
2. The Zutons Valerie
3. Elvis Costello Shipbuilding
4. Echo and the Bunnymen Killing Moon
5. The Farm All together now (hey, that's us! eds)
6. Space Female of the Species
7. The Las There she goes
8. The Undertones Teenage Kicks (John Peels Favourite Song)
9. George Harrison My Sweet Lord
10. Paul McCartney Live and Let die
11. The Real Thing Can you feel the force
12. The Coral Bill McCai
13. The Dead 60s Riot Radio
14. Cilla Black Step inside
15. K Klass Let me show you love (last song played at cream)

There is a further list one the last page.
We need Marks input on songs that he feels his unique style would do the most justice. These are quite famous songs and should only be looked as a starting point.
The inevitable conversations between Mark and other artists will lead to gems being uncovered that will produce a truly unique performance. (ie, 'we have no idea what to do next,' eds)
There is the potential to use other songs not from Liverpool but performed by Liverpool artists
It is important that the whole evening does not rest on the legacy of The Beatles.
The quality of artists that collaborate on the evening is crucial to the success of this event, using Marks contacts alongside our own something great can be achieved. (But won't be, because Mark is not doing it, eds)
23:00 Performance over
Rehearsal time
We would imagine 4 full production rehearsals taking place in the Arena with the
orchestra 8th – 11th January.
It is possible to arrange a number of days working with the RLPO whenever Mark is available.
It is also possible to arrange meetings between Mark and Vasily Petrenko the principle conductor of RLPO
Performance Rights
We have a dedicated lawyer who will sort out the publishing rights for the chosen songs
Fee
The CD and DVD rights are to be negotiated and will form part of the negotiations of
Marks fees for the studio, rehearsal and performance. (And there's the rub, eds)
Audience
10,000 seats at the arena
The provisional allocation is
1,500 VIP / rider (oh aye, who is this lot then? Will Tony Parrish get a seat? eds)
1,000 giveaways to the people of Liverpool (Gee thanks, eds)
7,500 paid seats
Hospitality packages are available and are still to be negotiated.
40,000 people around the city watching on large screens (high dependency on weather
in January) (This figure appears to have gone down to 25,000, eds)
Promoter
Liverpool Capital of Culture will be promoting and ticketing the whole event and taking the revenues. (With The Rottweiller's LDL, raking off their mark-up, eds)
The Liverpool Capital of Culture will be underwriting the whole event and taking out event and cancellation insurance
Production
The event will be produced by Ear to the Ground.
Once contracts have been signed EttG will be the sole point of contact for the event
Media Coverage
To be decided upon Mark and other artists involvement
Next Steps
To organise a face to face meeting with all parties to finalise the contracts as soon as possible
Background
Nigel Jamieson
Nigel Jamieson is one of the world’s leading event and theatre directors.
His work has included creating the central component of the Opening Ceremony of 2000 Sydney Olympics Games, directing six segments of 24 hour worldwide Millennium Broadcast, and Artistic Direction of the 2002 Closing Ceremony of the Manchester Commonwealth Games.
He directed Jose Carreras at Ankor Wat ,Cambodia, has worked at the Royal National
Theatre, and created the London Festival of New Circus and the London International
Workshop Festival. His recent production ‘Honour Bound’, about Guantanamo Bay
opens its2007 European Tour at the Vienna Festival prior to a major tour culminating
at London’s Barbican Centre.
Ear to the Ground
Ear to the Ground is an events agency that conceives and produces experiential activity using its understanding of contemporary culture.
They confidently combine innovative concepts with a solid production foundation to inspire both clients and audiences.
The company was formed in 2002 by Jon Drape and Steve Smith. They met in the legendary Hacienda where Jon was the in house venue manager and Steve had filled it with one of his many club nights. That was then, today Ear to the Ground has a wide portfolio of events ranging working across many sectors, art, fashion, film alongside music.
David Norris will be leading the project from Ear to the Ground.
Richard Mc Ginnis
Richard Mc Ginnis is a Liverpool based promoter with over 11 years experience in the city. Behind Liverpool success stories Chibuku & Circus, through these events has won every major dance music award out there from Mixmag club of the year to BBC Radio one House Rules Club of the year. Richard is also talent booker for the legendary Liverpool dance festival Creamfeilds now in his 4th year as talent consultant as well as being one of the owners of the extremely successful Manchester based Warehouse Project at Boddingtons. In 2006 alone he was behind no less than 200,000 ticket sales
Liverpool Culture Company
The Liverpool Culture Company is the organisation set up by Liverpool City Council to
deliver the culture programme up to and beyond 2008 (God help us, eds)
They are working closely with all their stakeholders - including cultural organisations, communities, artists, schools, businesses, commercial partners, funders and our fellow Merseyside boroughs - to help Liverpool shine on the world stage by delivering the best-ever European Capital of Culture in 2008.
Liverpool Culture Company has a broad remit and the definition of culture covers everything from artistic performance to heritage, health to tourism.
European Capital of Culture
The European Capital of Culture is a city designated by the European Union for a period of one year during which it is given a chance to showcase its cultural life and cultural development. A number of European cities have used the City of Culture year to transform their cultural base and, in doing so, the way in which they are viewed internationally.
Conceived as a means of bringing citizens of European Union closer together, European City of Culture was launched on June 13, 1985 by the Council of Ministers on the initiative of the Greek Minister of Culture Melina Mercouri. Since then, the initiative has been more and more successful amongst European citizens and has had a growing cultural and socio-economic impact on the numerous visitors it has attracted.
The Song List
ARTISTS SONG TITLE
Boo Radley Wake Up Boo
Cilla Black Liverpool Lullaby
Classic song In My Liverpool Home
Echo and the Bunnymen 7 Seas
Echo and the Bunnymen Killing Moon
Elvis Costello Shipbuilding
Elvis Costello I can't stand up for falling down
Frankie goes to Hollywood Relax
Frankie goes to Hollywood Two Tribes
George Harrison My Sweet Lord
Gerry and the Pacemakers Don't Let the Sun Catch you Crying
Gerry and the Pacemakers Ferry across the Mersey
Gerry and the Pacemakers You'll Never Walk Alone
Isaac Hayes I love Music
Jimmy Osmond Long Haired Lover from Liverpool
John Lennon Power to the People
John Lennon Starting Over
John Lennon Whatever gets you through the night
John Newton Amazing grace
The Undertones Teenage Kicks
Julian Cope World Shut yer Mouth
K Klass Let me show you love
Ladytron Seventeen
Lighting Seeds/Ian Brodie Footballs Coming Home (Football moment)
Lightning Seeds/Ian Brodie Marvellous
Marc Almond/Gene Pitney Anyone who had a Heart
Paul McCartney Live and Let Die
Pete Wylie Heart as big as Liverpool
Screaming J Hawkins You Put A Spell On Me (Listened to by the Beatles)
Space Female of the Species
The Beatles Come Together
The Beatles Revolution Cream
The Beatles Working Class Hero
The Beatles Magical Mystery Tour
The Beatles Yesterday (Ray Charles Version)
The Farm Altogether Now
The La's There She Goes (Gabrielle's version)
The Mighty Wah! Story of the Blues
The Real Thing Can you feel the the Force
The Real Thing Children of the Ghetto (Mary J Blige version)
The Zutons Valerie
Possibly using just the rifts and samples of The Beatles songs to abridge the performance.

(And the cost...............? eds)

DONALD BULLSHITTER RETURNS TODAY...

THERE will not be a warm welcome back today (Jan 3rd, 2008) for Donald Bullshitter who returns to the Fun Palace after two weeks holiday in the US of A.

'Acting' CEO Kris Donaldson, has been "out of the office'' since Monday 17 December.

Not bad in the run-up to one of the most important year's in the city's history, eh?

Bullshitter is paid £150,000 a year and has had an annual 10 per cent Performance Related Pay bonus since he was first appointed Marketing Director in 2004.

Which means he is now on more than £200,000 - and can still bugger off on a holiday just days before the Offical Launch of 2008.

He must be worth his weight in bull shit.

Sir Diddy Henshaw famously said of Bullshitter within weeks of his appointment that he 'would not pay him in washers'.

Amazingly Bullshitter has survived for the last four years despite his obvious incompetence - people are taken in by the American accent and think he must know what he is talking about.

Bullshitter will now be ready to tour every TV studio to get his face on our screens in 2008 - he is obsessed with self-publicity. And the simple hacks think his Stateside drawl shows Liverpool has gone all international.

In fact, it is Donaldson who is the mastermind behind the 'Look of the City' project, which the craven Echo publicised so dismally the other day.

This project involves covering up urban decay and council neglect with huge hoardings, so visitors think everything is hunky dory in Liverpool.

Part of this project also involves putting absolutely useless shite and drab hoardings in the windows of the boarded up houses on Edge Lane - well done Elisabeth Pascoe - as well as hanging even worse flags from the lamp posts.

Some of the crap flags have already been blown off, with the rest left tattered and torn by only mild winds.

Quite how much this lacklustre project has cost so far is anyone's guess and will be kept secret by the city council.

Interestingly, marketing staff at the Fun Palace who have been left holding the baby in Bullshitter's absence, have been told they can have all the holidays they want - but only in 2009.

Meanwhile a word of praise for one person - the NWDA's representative on earth in the Culture Company, one Bernice Law.

She has been working around the clock on the Official Launch to try and stop it becoming a total disaster.

By all accounts, she is not a bullshitter and has been trying her best against all the odds.

Clearly her boss NWDA Chairman Bryan Gray will have much to thank her for if she manages to pull it off.

There is another good thing to be said for her.

She has made it crystal clear to Fun Palace inmates that she has seen right through the Great White Hope - Our Saviour, Phil Redmond.

(Incidentally, perhaps we should re-christen him 'Our Lord' - since he is banking on a peerage in the next New Years Honour List, eds)

Bernice apparently finds Redmond an "insufferable, self-obsessed incompetent".

No news there of course.

But re-assuring that she has such good judgement.

'Our Lord' is meanwhile still wafting in and out of the Fun Palace, trying to hijack projects for his greater glory and to give the impression that he is in control.

Watch out for plenty more bollocks from him.

OPENING CEREMONY 'ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN', BUT NO ONE TO BLAME SHOCK

Is the opening ceremony an accident waiting to happen?

That is the question facing safety experts as the wheels start to fall off the Harbarrowboy's launch vehicle.

There is now a mood of barely concealed panic in the Fun Palace as the realisation dawns that the Culture Company is just not equipped to stage such a major outdoor event.

Having lost Lee Forde through incompetence, staff are now being stretched to the limit by the huge number of extra events being planned for 2008.

Added to that is the mind-boggling ineptitude of some of the plans - for example, the launch event is due to feature acrobats abseiling and throwing themselves off the roof of St George's Hall while Ringo waves to the breathless millions (shouldn't that be minions? eds)below.

The Echo has of course conspired in this utter lunacy by making a public appeal for acrobatic volunteers - local nutters who fancy a bit of sky-diving and 15 seconds of fame (the amount of time it takes to fall from the roof to the pavement below and then expire on the ground after waving weakly to the CBS camera crews, eds).

Do you think if some poor imbecile gets hurt in this insanity, that the Echo will splash the next day on "'We are to blame' - admits shame-faced Editor"?

Will they bollocks.

They will wash their hands of responsibility like any other person who holds power in Liverpool.

But they have been thoroughly irresponsible dupes of the crackpots in charge of the Culture Company who think any Tom, Dick or Harry can happily abseil down the front of St George's hall without any proper training.

This is not Health and Safety political correctness gone mad.

This is about properly established procedures to keep people safe.

And God knows. in the city that suffered Heysel and Hillsborough. you would have thought some lessons had been learned about public safety.

Wouldn't you?

But no.

Aside from these very obvious safety concerns, there are major issues around public liability insurance, policing, crowd control - how many people are going to turn up expecting to get a personal audience with Ringo? - and damage and disruption caused to St George's and other historic buildings which will also have rooftop displays.

The astronomical cost is escalating by the minute - no official figures of course - and people are, literally, running around the Fun Palace like headless chickens trying to make it all stack up.

The NWDA's representative on earth, Bernice Law has now taken to calling 7.30 am emergency meetings to try and get a grip on things and turn it around.

But the clock is ticking and the pressure is mounting.

Particularly when the Culture Company proudly boast that CBS will be turning up to see Ringo live. (Or should that be live? eds)

Hopefully he won't have to step over any prone bodies on his way to the interview van.

Expect to see whole parts of the opening ceremony suddenly junked for no apparent reason and without explanation.

Meanwhile the architects behind this accident waiting to happen - Donald Bullshitter and Clare McCogloose amongst others - will evade all responsibility.

Just like the fine example set by Fireman Bradley.

After all, they have only had the last four years to plan this event. It has hardly come as a sudden shock, has it?

Some poor bugger in the events team will probably get all the blame, instead. As is the Liverpool Way.

But we issue this warning now.

If one single person - either a participant or spectator - is seriously injured during this opening ceremony or any other CoC event, we will make sure that, this time, the finger is pointed at very firmly at those responsible.

And we will not let you bastards get away with it.

We just hope we are proved wrong.