Are you sitting comfortably? It's the final chapter for the Storeyteller....

FASCINATING goings-on amongst the Lib Dims as the Fireman clings to power.

The Dancing Queen, Flo Clucas has been promoted to Deputy Lib Dim Leader as Bradley tries to shore-up his position in his last few weeks as Leader.

However, the price that Clucas demanded for coming to Bradley's aid was....the Storeyteller's head on a plate!

She refused to join the Fireman's Cabinet if Storey was kept on as Executive Member for Regeneration and Constant Self-Promotion.

So Bradley instantly sidelined his old mate - sugaring the bitter pill by giving him the job of being Mayor next year and with a few extra bob in his pocket (£6,000 to be precise, eds) for taking up the non-role of an Assistant Executive Member.

The Dancing Queen will show some nifty footwork if Bradley is disqualified from office and will, no doubt terribly reluctantly, quietly assume the mantle of Leaderene as the Lib Dims regroup and lick their wounds before being kicked out by the electorate in 2010.

However, at least Storey will now be able to fulfil his lifetime's ambition - dressing up in a funny costume every day and getting his picture taken.

That's if he first survives the Standards Board's blisteringly-speedy investigation which is expected to report sometime before the next Millennium (once they have counted all their pencils, made a brew and had a lie-down because of all the stress, eds).

But for the lame Storey the back benches now beckon - that's how a political career ends after 30-plus years, not with a bang, but a wimp.

What has also gone unremarked by the craven Echo is the astonishing dismissal of the Lib Dem parliamentary candidate for Wavertree, Colin Eldridge.

Bradley sacked him from the Cabinet and every other position he held after the two fell out spectacularly over the Mathew Street report.

Deep in his Municipal Buildings bunker, the Fireman also became increasingly paranoid that the lanky Eldridge - dubbed The Lurch by Sexy Rexy - was secretly plotting a come-back for Storey as Leader.So he had to go too.

The Eldridge dismissal is now likely to provoke all kinds of internal party trouble for the Fireman amongst the Lib Dims nationally, who will vainly try to spin it as 'Colin wanted to spend more time with his constituency.'

Of course, it is a huge slap in the face for Eldridge who was being wildly (correct spelling, eds) touted as the Lib Dim's best hope in Liverpool at the next General Election.

No doubt scores will be settled in the future.

Meanwhile the Fireman has carried on where he left off before Nadia Stewart threw him a lifeline - demonstrating his woeful lack of integrity, intelligence or judgement by giving the accused fireman Steve Hurst the job of Executive Member for Corporate Performance.

Hurst is in court in July accused of breaking election law.

What a performance!

Splits emerge amongst the Lib Dims as Fireman Bradley chews a wasp

FRESH splits are emerging amongst the Lib Dims despite angry attempts by Fireman Bradley to order a united front.

Within weeks of Beatrice Fraenkel's long overdue defection to Labour, news emerges of more turmoil in the Lib Dim ranks.

Today's Daily Post begins to lift the corner of the rotting carpet of the Lib Dim's internal warfare, with a short, but completely accurate, story about the deselection of Kevin Firth after 10 years service as a councillor.

Firth, a close colleague of Inspector Clueless Richard Marbrow, was dumped by the Lib Dims from Old Swan.

His crime?

Firth had the temerity to speak out against Fireman Bradley over the Mathew Street fiasco.

Well actually, it wasn't even that rebellious - Firth simply tried to hold Bradley to account for the Mathew St cock-up during a Lib Dim group meeting in December.

Firth had the audacity to stand up and ask a few pertinent questions about who did what, when and who knew what, when.

This was too much for the power-crazed fireman who has not the faintest idea of what is meant by political accountability.

He hit the roof at Firth's questioning and berated him in his customary 'angrily chewing a wasp' manner for daring to ask questions of "The Leader of the Council".

(Entertainingly, Bradley has become so puffed-up with his own self-importance that he has now taken to referring to himself in the third person! eds)

Meanwhile, his fireman lieutenant Steve Hurst, who faces trial on election offences in June, made a mental note of Firth's transgressions.

Bradley, Hurst and the Storeyteller then met secretly with Old Swan colleagues Keith Turner and the appalling and totally beyond redemption Bernie Turner, to plot Firth's downfall.

An extra reason for knifing him (apart from the Clueless connection of course, eds) was Bradley's claim that Firth had leaked "The Leader of the Council's" email to CoverUp demanding the Harbarrowboy's head over Mathew Street.

So off went Firth's head instead.

What is significant about today's Daily Post story is that it obviously comes from deep inside the Lib Dim group and reflects extreme unhappiness at Bradley's bully-boy tactics.

Expect more dissent to be publicly voiced soon.

We turn now to the deselection of another Lib Dim councillor - Ann Hines - from West Derby after 14 years.

The Fireman was desperate to keep Hines in place because of her compliant, no-questions-asked obedience to whatever he said.

So all manner of extraordinary tricks and manouevres were pulled to ensure Hines was re-selected as the Lib Dim candidate in May - which she duly was.

However this was too much for her two West Derby colleagues, the semi-detached Stuart Monkcom and Norman Mills who had been extremely critical of Hines's work-rate and attendance record.

They complained to the Lib Dim's nationally about Bradley and Storeyteller's role in this cynical stitch-up.

Astonishingly, their complaint was upheld by the national party who ordered that the West Derby party go through another candidate selection.

This was yet another humiliating smack in the chops for the Fireman, especially when, in the re-run, Ann Hines was duly-deselected.

Imagine his barely disguised fury at this turn of events.

Coming soon: It's Grand National time - so who are the runners and riders in The Lib Dim Succession Stakes?

LATEST ON THE POOR STRESS-FILLED FIREMAN - UP TO THE MINUTE CONDITION CHECK

GOSSIPERS worried about the condition of accused law-breaker Steve Hurst can rest assured.

It looks as though the Lib Dem Chief Whip's failing health is gradually improving, since he apparently felt well enough to attend a neighbourhood meeting this evening.

Councillor Hurst appeared perfectly relaxed and composed throughout the meeting and exhibited no signs of the unfortunate stress which has forced him to go on sick leave from the fire service.

This now makes it three council meetings he has felt well enough to attend while on sick leave from the fire service.

There is also some further good news for Councillor Hurst, who has so far escaped suspension from the Lib Dem group despite facing a criminal charge accused of election dirty tricks next March.


His Lib Dem colleagues are having a whip round to help him out (although he is still on full pay with public money from the fire service, of course).


If by some remarkable travesty of justice, Councillor Hurst were to be found guilty next month of producing a disgusting nasty and untrue little smear leaflet in Belle Vale last May, it would tend to show his Lib Dem colleagues to be a bunch of unprincipled, cynical, nasty little bastards who believe in nothing but themselves and cannot distinguish right from wrong.

REVEALED AMAZING NEW CURE FOR STRESS - ATTENDING AT COUNCIL MEETINGS!

WHAT are we to make, dear Gossipers, of the appearance of accused law-breaker, Councillor Steve Hurst, at last week's full council meeting?

We only ask because, sadly, Hurst is currently on sick leave from the fire service with stress, pending his forthcoming and keenly awaited trial next month.

Hurst, the Lib Dem Chief Whip responsible for internal Party discipline, is, you will all vividly recall, accused of breaking election law by delivering a disgusting and thoroughly nasty little smear leaflet against the Labour candidate and her fireman husband through the letterboxes of houses in Belle Vale.

His understandable stress at the prospect of facing a trial with 10 witnesses ranged against him, seemed to miraculously disappear last Wednesday when he was able to take his seat in the council chamber, without any apparent ill-effects.

(Sadly, many public spectators were in need of emergency treatment after listening to Fireman Bradley, eds)

Even more astonishing was Hurst's appearance the week before at a day-long Planning Committee meeting.

Again, Hurst appeared to demonstrate remarkable resilience and good health.

Perhaps he finds attending boring council meetings an effective therapy for the terrible curse of stress-related illnesses?

If so, perhaps Hurst has unwittingly discovered a cure - and we should therefore make compulsory attendance at council meetings now immediately available on the National Health Service?

Any appalling suggestion that, in fact, Hurst is swinging the lead from the fire service and thereby ripping off the public who pay his wages, is of course, without any foundation, whatsoever.

For what could his motive for that possibly be?

Some suspicious people would suggest that perhaps Hurst was going to use his illness in mitigation to try to win a sympathy vote. Or even, perhaps, it would make him unfit to stand trial?

If the outrageous suggestion that Hurst was swinging the lead were true, it would then also have to be true that Hurst suddenly went on the sick when he was tipped off by an insider that Fire Chief Tony McGurk was about to suspend him, pending his criminal trial.

That couldn't possibly be true. For it would mean that Hurst did not want to attract more damaging publicity and increase interest in his trial through being officially suspended by the fire service.

And that would be an outrageous slur on a fine and upstanding public servant - rather in the mould of the beyond-reproach Fireman Bradley.

Meanwhile Fireman Bradley, who is obviously a far better judge than Fire Chief McGurk on what is appropriate behaviour (and is clearly better able to judge Hurst's innocence ahead of a trial), is still refusing to suspend Hurst from the Lib Dem group pending the outcome of the prosecution.

And nor has Cover Up yet launched a council investigation.

'ARE YOU 'AVIN A LARFFFFFF?'

LIB Dim chief whip Councillor Steve Hurst has apparently come up with an unusual defence to the charge of breaking election law.

Word has it that Hurst is insisting that, rather than posting illegal smear leaflets through the doors of homes in Belle Vale, he was actually removing them from the letterboxes.

"Are you 'aving a larfff?" said that funny little bloke from Extras.

Hurst's portrayal of himself as a public-spirited, anti-litter minded environmentalist, is of course, entirely plausible.

Indeed it is incredibly similar to the brilliant defence mounted by Jack the Ripper when caught standing over one of his lifeless victims, brandishing a bloodied knife in one hand.

"I was taking the knife out of her chest, mlud" protested Jack to the trial judge, "to help her breathe more easily. I just had to do it several times...."

Jack was of course promptly cleared of the murder charge and then went on to massacre a further 4787 ladies of the night with total impunity. (We have made all this up, of course, but you get our point, eds)

We await Hurst's trial in March with bated breath, when every detail of the disgraceful dirty tricks that happened in Belle Vale will hopefully emerge.

The seriousness of the charge facing Hurst has been underlined by the revelation that the Crown Prosecution Service decided to press a criminal charge against the Lib Dim councillor who is reponsible for internal party discipline.

You couldn't make this up! eds.

The police prosecution follows the extraordinary doorstep dust-up in Belle Vale ward during the local elections.

At least 10 witnesses are ready to be called to give evidence against Hurst.

Readers will recall that at the centre of the prosecution will be a fake leaflet purporting to be from 'a real socialist party - TUSP' which smeared the husband of Labour candidate, Pauline Watson.

Her husband is a local firefighter - like Hurst.

The leaflet was clearly an attempt to damage Labour's chances in the local elections - but thankfully backfired (literally).

Lib Dim Council leader Fireman Warren Bradley has so far failed to suspend Hurst, or even withdraw the whip from Hurst, even though he has been charged with a criminal offence.

Which reveals, interestingly, that Bradley has less of a clue about what constitues appropriate behaviour and Leadership skills than even Tory Leader David Cameron.

The leaflet also broke election law by carrying no imprint giving the name and address of the organisation which had printed and published it.

So far lazy chief executive Colin CoverUp has also done nothing about this - not even rousing himself from his slumbers to launch an official investigation (probably still too busy investigating the first Tony Parrish, ed).

We can only ask this question:

Where else in the world - but Liverpool - would a member of the ruling Cabinet be allowed to carry on in office when facing a criminal prosecution?