Saturday, April 19, 2008

What's wrong with giving some freedom to Herbert the Hairdresser? (Don't all answer at once...)

SECRET plans to give Herbert the hairdresser the freedom of the city have been kaiboshed after a furious row amongst the Lib Dems.
Lord Mayor Paul Clarke has become a firm friend of Herbert during his term of office, judging by the number of pictures they have had taken together.
So it was no surprise when Clark put forward Herbert the Hairdresser's name (it is Herbert Howe, donchaknow, eds) to the Fireman and Storyteller as a next Freeman of the City.
Herbert's work for charidee was singled out by Clark for special praise, as was his connection with various 'slebs' , WAGS and the usual suspects who turn up to every new bar opening.
The Fireman and Storeyteller throught the nomination might help them out politically, reasoning that a little bit of showbiz gold dust would bring some much needed lustre to the tired Lib Dems.
But they decided on caution first.
When preliminary 'soundings were taken' all hell suddenly let loose in the Lib Dem group, with emails, phone call and hurried conversations flying about the place.
The upshot of which was that the nomination was hurriedly withdrawn.
Quite why Herbert was not considered a suitable candidate for the freedom of Liverpool, we can only guess at.
One source tells us he was considered 'highly inappropriate'. Colin CoverUp was also apparently vehemently opposed. (Obviously incorrect, he doesn't get vehement about anything, eds)
Pity, because it would have brought smiles to the faces of millions if Herbert had been given the freedom to drive some sheep down the centre of Dale Street.
What other liberties he would have taken with being a Freeman, we can only speculate about. Answers on a postcard please.
We sincerely hope now, however, that his friend and another remarkable and extremely talented Liverpool celebrity, Mr Pete Price will begin an investigation or public campaign and expose those who opposed Herbert's nomination.
Pete has already (perfectly reasonably, eds) put Herbert forward as a potential elected Mayor of Liverpool in his remarkable and utterly spellbinding Secret Diary blog.
Only someone like Sinbad, or possibly Dean Sullivan, could possibly rival such a candidate. Surely?

Meanwhile we will leave you with more pictures of Herbert the hairdresser in action bringing joy and happiness with all his amazing charidee work. Enjoy.


Anonymous said...

I wonder if he has had his teeth done?!

Anonymous said...

He couldn't possibly - unless he was thinking of running for Lord Mayor????

Pete said...

Herbert should be given the freedom of Liverpool, and then he should run for Mayor. That's why you keep seeing him with Paul Clark, he really wants that chain of office round his neck.

Herbert is currently putting together his outlines and plans for what he'd do for the city if he was mayor, so we'll see...

Anonymous said...

I thought that, rather than the chain of office, it was a pearl necklace he was after?

Tori Blare said...

How could you?!!
What about Chucklebutty?
The Proff should be the one who gets the freedom of the City and become Liverpool's first elected mayor!
Stop giving Herbert media space.

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Anonymous said...

I have decided that if Wally Bradlow is not given the order of the Boot by the Standards Fireworks Board and a rocket up his majority that I shall gather my forces together and to make a unilateral declaration of independance for Grotty Cash.

I will proclaim myself as President for a fortnight while we parade the glib dums through town to be jam and feathered and then I shall step down to allow a free election. Herbert wish to get behind me as vice president with reponsibility for Tonsorial International Teasing but after two weeks i expect a hard fought battle in a free vote between the only viable candidates,Herbert, Sir Rex of the Hesperas and Sonia.

Mr Parish will of course be Press Secretary. Primeminister will be Mr Tori Blare who has promised to step down after a second term to Nil Desberown

Tori Blare said...

mr Galle could be president!

Your Plan sounds great chucky.

Don't know about Nil desperrone, he is a bit weak when it comes to the crunch.
Will the rest of the Tony's form the cabinet?
I've got a few cups and saucers to put in it?