Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Colin 'Cover Up' tells a tall Storey

WORD reaches us that Colin 'Cover Up' has found a new excuse for failing to take action against the evil cabal.
Seems the new £200,000 a year chief executive is blaming former Council Leader, Mike Storey for his 'do nothing' approach.
Hilton is telling anyone who will listen that he could not take action against the rottweiller McElhinney or the smiling assassin Halsall, because to do so would implicate Storey.
(Eh? ed)
Colin 'Cover Up' reckons he has been powerless to bring the cabalists to justice because Storey is a mate of new leader Warren Bradley.
(I am still not following this, ed)
He claims that bringing the McElhinney/Halsall pair of robbers to book would have also brought Storey down.
(How much further down could he go then? ed)
Hilton says they were only allowed to perform their nefarious deeds while Storey was Leader of the council and therefore he would be held responsible if they were brought to justice.
(What about Henshaw then? ed)
Good question. Colin Cover Up seems to have forgotten that Sir Diddy was the evil mastermind behind the cabal and all their wrong-doings, robbery, coup d'etats, theft, blackmail, lies, deceit, threatening behaviour, etc, etc.... (insert any other relevant crime or misdemeanour, ed)
So Hilton is apparently seriously asking other councillors to let him off the hook for his failure, because actually, he is only acting in the interests of the former Leader!
Any thought of holding Henshaw publicly to account for the waste of millions of pounds in public money and the disgraceful abuse of power wielded by the cabal, seems to have escaped the new chief executive's £200,000 a year mind.
(Can't think why, ed)

Sunday, November 19, 2006


THE city council continue to treat taxpayers with contempt as they try to cover up the rottweiller McElhinney's misuse of public money.

Consider this question which Tony Parrish sent to the city council last month under the Freedom of Information Act.

What was the cost of the shower facility installed at LDL in Venture Place for the use of the LDL Chief Executive?

This is the council's full reply. We couldn't resist adding our own comments.


A shower was not installed at Venture Place for use by the Chief Executive of LDL. (oh aye? ed)

The installation of the shower was carried out as part of works being carried out on the third floor of Venture Place, specifically installation of a toilet for visitors attending at the offices. (Our emphasis. What they are trying to do now, is cover up the cost of the shower amongst other necessary works which were carried out - it's a simple sleight of hand which the hated McElhinney has repeatedly used to disguise the full cost of some of his favourite little projects. In other words, the council are now claiming that the shower was installed on the third floor because they needed to provide toilet facilities! Must remember to have a shower next time we take a leak, too. Of course, the third floor, by complete co-incidence, is the same floor as McElhinney's office.)

The council's answer continues:

Venture Place, was the only main city centre building without a shower facility although being staffed twenty four hours a day. (So what they are asking you to believe now is that a shower was installed NOT for the chief executive so that he could go on his little mid-day runs, but because visitors to the office might need to take a shower.
Do they thin
k the people of Liverpool are mad?
We can well understand that many visitors to Liverpool Direct Limited might actually need to take a shower AFTER they have met McElhinney, but that is an entirely different matter. (Most of the staff
would want to go through a fumigation unit too after they had spent any time in McElhinney's presence, but there is no suggestion that a fumigation unit is going to be built specifically for them, is there?)
The city council are apparently seriously claiming that a shower needs to be built for staff because the building is staffed 24 hours a day! Why?
Think about it for a minute - no one is working 24 hours a day, they all work normal eight hour shifts, so why should they need to take a shower?
Do they not come to work clean? Do they get so very dirty and sweaty answerin
g the phone?
Does any other office worker in Liverpool who is working a normal eight hour shift need to take a shower?
So why does one need to be built here then?
Especially when there are perfectly acceptable public showers in the gym at Millennium House, round the corner?
Answer: because McElhinney wanted one for his own personal use after his mid-day run.)

The council's answer ends:

The cost of the shower was £2,310 (Was it bollocks! They have buried the cost of the shower in the cost of the other works they had to carry out. They are simply lying. So much for integrity.)

We are sorry to spend so much time on the small matter of a shower for the LDL chief executive, but it is important for a number of reasons.
It shows that McElhinney continues to abuse his power, position and public money.
It shows that the city council is fully prepared to cover-up for him.
Worse than covering-up, they are also prepared to treat the people of Liverpool with utter contempt and breathtaking arrogance in asking them to swallow this utter fabrication of a story.
It would not be a credible response even for Walter Mitty.
And chief executive Colin Hilton says he is concerned about the city council's ethics? Yet he is prepared to approve flagrantly dishonest answers like this? Don't make us laugh!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Colin 'Cover Up' blunders over "whinging" email

New chief executive Colin 'Cover Up' Hilton has been left red-faced after a blunder with his emails.
Given what has gone before, you might have expected the new £200,000 a year chief executive to have been a bit careful about what he wrote on his computer (you never know and I wouldn't want to alarm anyone unduly, but it would not be beyond the bounds of remote possibility for that thieving rottweiller, Dr McElhinney to have "persuaded" his IT chaps to let him secretly read any council employee's private emails when he was relaxing after taking a shower in his evil lair in MisAdventure Place, ed)
But not a bit of it.
And now Cover Up has been forced to make a grovelling public apology to Labour Councillor Rose Bailey for describing her as a 'whinger' in a confidential email to council leader Warren Bradley and Lib Dem Councillor Marilyn Fielding (the rottweiller's poodle, co-incidentally, ed).

The blunder begins after Fielding was given a good going over by Labour at the last full council meeting for missing a vital public meeting in Croxteth over anti-social behaviour.
The op
position had merrilly pointed out that Fielding's absence from such an important meeting was at odds with her repeated public protests against anti-social behaviour (in other words, they were calling her a hypocrite, ed)
Fielding (left) was clearly wounded by this attack and dashed off an email to her leader Bradley and chief exec Hilton the following morning, complaining that she had been left in the lurch and not given proper information about the meeting (blaming someone else as usual, ed).

Whereupon the mighty chief executive decided to reply in terms which were not exactly impartial, lambasting Labour Councillor Bailey as being a 'whinger'.
Unfortunately he compounded his error with another - he stupidly copied the email to Councillor Bailey as well as Bradley and Fielding!(he would be dangerous if he had sense, ed)

Uproar ensued in the Municipal Buildings with minions running all over the place, overturning tables and files, in a desperate attempt to try to retrieve the errant email.
Too late, it arrived safely in front of Labour Councillor Rose Bailey, who was to say the least, a bit perturbed at the chief exec's unfortunate language and lack of political impartiality.
Hilton then had to hang his head in shame like a naughty schoolboy as he received a huge dressing down from Labour leader Joe Anderson.
Then he had to make a monumental apology to Councillor Bailey.
One insider said: "He got off very lightly with just saying sorry. It brought him down a peg or two to say the least. And at least he knows how Mike Storey felt when his emails got into the wrong hands! On this occasion it wasn't a sacking matter, but Hilton might not be so lucky next time!"

Monday, November 13, 2006


It seems that the city council's forlorn and rather pathetic search for the first ever Tony Parrish is continuing.
Acting City Solicitor Michael Kenworthy has stepped forward for the role of Private Dick as chief aide to Inspector Clueless, Councillor Marbrow.
Kenworthy, fresh from his historic High Court defeat in the Battle of Edge Lane, is leaving no stone unturned in the bid to track down our hero, apparently.
Emails are being scanned, documents examined, files opened, computers logged, councillors questioned and staff hilariously entertained.
Inspector Clueless has been recruited as chief IT expert and fount of all knowledge on all matters technical (shurely some mistake? ed)
are also being questioned by Kenworthy about what they know and who they know it about (this should be an interesting exchange, ed)
It seems the bald legal eagle Kenworthy
has vowed that he will not be happy until he has alighted on his quarry.
"It is my raison d'etre" he opined, to one startled member of staff.
Puffing himself up to his full height of 5'8", Kenworthy jowels
reddened with rage as he stamped his feet and accused our hero TP of "making defamatory statements about my staff."
Which leaves us all scratching our heads a bit.
Who appointed Kenworthy as the council's Private Dick?
Which council staff were maligned in such a terrible way?
Surely it can't have been
1) Sir Diddy? (a greedy blackmailer, ed)

2) The rottweiller McElhinney? (a lying thief, ed)
3) The sm
iling assasin Halsall? (nuff said, ed)
Perhaps it was the council's Head of Internal Audit, Gerry Callaghan, whose integrity shattered in pieces when he snitched to Halsall about the dosssier of evidence
against McElhinney. (I thought he had finally retired? ed)
So if not them - and the city council would be a bit madder than usual to defend these cabalists after the £520million KPMG report - then who? And for what? All TP's allegations were true!
Incidentally, our hero is safe and well in a secure house across the water where he is being fed grapes and having his every whim catered for by an army of admiring bloggers.
Perhaps the bald legal eagle thinks he will succeed City Solicitor Grame Creer if he can apprehend the first Tony Parrish?
In which case, his chances of promotion appear exceedingly remote.
In the meantime, we are sure he can have lots of fun in his one-man crusade - it sure bea
ts the hell out of getting whupped by grandmothers in the High Court, doesn't it?

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


WORD on the streets is that Roger 'voice of the people' Phillips has turned down an offer to become Liverpool's cultural Ambassador.
The BBC Radio Merseyside presenter was offered the poisoned chalice by the Harbarrowboy.
'Jase' had been given the go-ahead by Councillors Bradley and Storey after the hoo-hah following Robbing's departure.
But Phillips sensibly said 'no', astutely realising that he would be on a hiding to nothing if he succumbed to the Culture Company's blandishments. (He means public money, ed)
One BBC colleague said: "He was very flattered to be asked, but decided the role was just not right for him.
"After the departure of Robbing Archer, the Culture Company clearly need someone who can be the front man for Culture and who will be trusted by the public.
"Roger fitted the bill perfectly, is very loyal to Liverpool and has no ego whatsoever, which would have been a nice change from all that has gone before.
"But it would have compromised his own editorial independence and caused Auntie Beeb some real problems too."
Both Bradley and Storey were known to be very keen on the trusted Phillips, whose long-standing connections with the Everyman and Playhouse gave him extra cultural credibility.
Bradley, it is believed, had earlier blocked suggestions from the Harbarrowboy that the Cultural Ambassador should be none other than Phil Redmond, lugubrious millionaire ex-boss of Brookside and 'mastermind' behind the preposterous plan for Liverpool to become Capital of Christmas (and an alleged mate of Sir Diddy's, ed).

(A lengthy editorial aside now follows: if anyone else has any other alliterative ideas for Liverpool to become Capital of anything else, can you please forget them and go back to the drawing board? The last thing we want for the next five years is for Liverpool to become Capital of Karaoke, Capital of Car Jacking, Capital of Cream Crackers or Capital of Cobblers (well we might make an exception with that one). Such ideas may well excite the Echo, but they really belong on the cutting room floor of a third rate public relations agency. Now where were we? ed)

Bradley believed Redmond would only use the position to soften up the ground for his bid to become elected Mayor of Liverpoool, post 2008.
So he wasn't going to let that happen.
Now that Roger Phillips has wisely spurned the Culture Company, it's not clear whether the Harbarrowboy will continue to pursue his hunt for another Cultural Ambassador to 'front' the whole show.
Perhaps we will see a glorious repeat of the disastrous Bet Lynch appointment?
Nominations for Ambassador anyone?

Thursday, November 02, 2006


STRONG rumour in the city has it that Flo Clucas, the Cabinet Member for Economic Development and Europe, is preparing to cross the floor to Labour.
The veteran Lib Dem had her nose pushed out earlier this year when she was well beaten into third place in the election of a new leader, after Storey took a powder.
There is no love lost between new leader Warren Bradley and Councillor Clucas, who was, of course, one of Henshaw's biggest fans in the days of the evil cabal.
Henshaw deliberately courted her as a rival power base to Storey and when Sir Diddy delivered his blackmail note to the city, she failed to rally round her Leader.
Then she proceeded to swan around Europe slagging Storey off, according to Labour Euro MP's.
Quite how she would get on in the Labour group if she crossed the floor, is anyone's guess.
Some would see it as a cynical last-ditch attempt by her to get her hands on power before the Lib Dems are booted out.
Others would see it as an egomaniac's last throw of the dice.
Others would see it as complete madness.
The Lib Dems have been busily rubbishing these rumours of defection, but a wise counsellor says caution should be exercised before anyone completely dismisses the idea.