Wednesday, January 24, 2007


LIVERPOOL'S firework display to celebrate the city's 800th birthday is set to be a damp squib.

Why, we can hear you speculating...?

1) Because firework displays are a tired old cliche, usually trotted out by lame brains with no better ideas?
2) Because, (typically, ed) 'Jase' and the Culture Company dickheads didn't consult anyone about their great display until after they had officially announced the plans?
3) Because the dolts at the Culture Company forgot that it doesn't get dark until quite late actually, in summer?
4) Because the city's little kids will all be safely tucked up in bed and fast asleep when this firework display finally starts? (shurely shome mistake here, ed)
5) Because it will be way past the bed time of the city's grannies?
6) Because even the city council have called for it to be scrapped?
7) Because the display won't be a patch on London's spectacular New Year's Eve celebrations which lit up the Thames?
8) Because (typically, ed) the Culture Company have hyped it all up to be the 'biggest in Europe' when it will be lucky to be the biggest in the North West?
9) Because having a fireworks display on August 28th is generally a pretty unimpressive way in which to celebrate the historical significance of Liverpool's 8ooth birthday, fails to take account of the practical difficulties, demonstrates a spectacular lack of originality and dearth of ideas but which the Echo will nevertheless, no doubt hail as a major triumph for Liverpool's world renowned cultural offer. (knoworrameanlike, ed)
No, the firework display will be a damp squib for none of these reasons, especially.
(Although all of them are individually and collectively true, obviously, ed)
The main reason that the firework display will be a damp squib will be because the mastermind behind this incredibly unoriginal idea will not even be in Liverpool to witness his handiwork backfire!
That's right.
Colleagues say that former council leader Mike Storey will be away at his usual six-week-long family holiday in France.
(Are you sure he is not going away because he is frightened of all the noise that those bangers will make? He has never been renowned before for his personal courage, has he? ed)
Storey's absence makes his defence of his own idea for the summer fireworks all the more bizarre, some would say hypocritical.
Here it is, from the Echo:

Cllr Mike Storey, who is overseeing the city’s birthday celebrations, is happy with the arrangements. (oh, that's all right then, ed)

He said: “In terms of the light, the event takes place two months after mid-summer so it should not be a problem. (we'll see, ed)

“Firework displays are always difficult in the winter, but in the warmer summer climate we will not need to worry about fireworks blowing over or the event being called off. (is that a promise then? ed)

“We are expecting a massive turnout (where? ed) and plan a wonderful night when people can go out for a meal and then take in the display later in the evening. (you what??????????Are you paying then, Mike?????! And for those of us who can't afford to dine out on August 28th? I know, why don't we all pop around to yours for a barbie and you can treat us to some of those truffles, foie gras and that excellent cabernet you brought back from France last time? Oh, I forgot, you won't be home in time, will you? ed)

“There is no better way to celebrate Liverpool’s birthday than a spectacular event for Liverpudlians, visitors and a huge television audience.” (yes there is - you just couldn't be arsed to come up with something suitable and because the talentless mob you have put in charge of Culture haven't got any original ideas. And just how huge will this vast television late-night audience be then? Just those anoraks like me who watch the late night North West headlines on the Beeb? ed)

We shall leave the final word to Councillor Tina Gould, who, surprisingly, spoke sound common sense when her committee called for the whole idea to be scrapped.

“We felt fireworks have been done to death and something with a lasting legacy could be arranged with the same money. It is billed as being the biggest display in Europe, but having seen the New Year event in London, I do not think it will be."

Friday, January 19, 2007

MARK MY WORDS! Daily Post gets a new Editor

CONGRATULATIONS to Mark Thomas on being appointed as new editor of the Liverpool Daily Post.
Thomas is that rarity in the Merseyside media world - a journalist who is serious about his trade and genuinely cares about the future of Liverpool and the way that it is governed.
He is also rare amongst his fellow Liverpool scribes in actually being interested in what goes on (or doesn't, ed) in the corridors of power and trying to cover it in his paper!
Thomas it was, in May 2005, who first published the exclusive details of evil Henshaw's threats to the then leader of the council, Mike Storey.
From that point on Henshaw's attempted coup d'etat was doomed to failure.
Having become public knowledge thanks to some judicous and well-informed leaking to the Post by at least one council employee, the diddy dictator's days were well and truly numbered (well done, all concerned, ed).
Of course, ever since then, the Post has consistently put the Echo to shame with its revelations about the evilcabal and the goings on at the Town Hall.
Thomas has never been any fan of Henshaw's personal style of bullying, threats and intimidation and has been well aware of all the sordid, ugly tactics used by the cabalists.
His personal views are well known, even if he has been constrained from expressing them in the pages of the Post.
But he has ensured that the Post keep tabs on it all - and maintains an informed and knowledgeable perspective.
We will, of course, hammer the life out of him if he seeks to take the Daily Post downmarket to keep the Echo company.
Or if he gives up the Posts's interest in the city council and Culture Company.
We will also take him apart if the Post's sponsorship deal with the Culture Company stops it exposing the failings of 2008. Which is a concern of journalists.
But somehow we don't think that will happen. Given the restrictions Thomas has to work within, we think the Post is in good hands.

Thursday, January 11, 2007


Anonymous said...
to get serious for a should know that Sir Diddy has run as fast as his little legs will carry him to his solicitors, following the post on the henshaw evil cabal blog about the Guardian lecture. he is threatening writs, libel actions, injunctions, judiucial reviews and all kinds of other legal jiggery pokery to again try and close the blog down. his solicitors are brabners again. This has all come from a colleague of his wife (who is herself a nice person, given who she lives with). Sir Diddy is also apparently in regular contact with Mceilhenny and halsall and the three of them met for dinner before xmas at a hotel in Cheshire - but i doubt whether Diddy paid! One bizarre thing - he has also been talking to the cops to see if he can persuade them to do something. he says he is being persecuted! The irony of it! He is really worried about the Guardian lecture and whether anyone is going to take the piss out of him publicly in front of the great and the good and has seriously talked to someone from the guardian about improving security or pulling out! christ knows who he thinks he is. but his solicitors have advised him to carry on. He is apparently furious at Finnegan and the Tony Parrish campaign, which appears to have had a big impact at westminster amongst labour mps and in other local councils. according to the girls, henshaw is afraid that he is now regarded as being completely persona non grata and worries constantly about important people snubbing him. which must be true!
but the best news is this - they are talking about leaving liverpool and moving somewhere else! hurrah!
anyway, watch out for the lawyers lads - even though he is full of the usual bluster, you never know what he will do when he gets in a tizz. and he has got the money. will try to keep you up-dated on any other developments...

Thursday, January 11, 2007 2:34:00 PM

Thursday, January 04, 2007

The Harbarrowboy - future MP or first elected Mayor ?

Are you sitting down?

Then please prepare yourself for a nasty shock....
Word reaches us that Jason Harbarrowboy, aka as the Chief Executive of Nothing, harbours strong political ambitions!
(Pass the smelling salts, someone! ed)
It appears that 'Jase' - for this is the nomenclature which he apparently favours - is already putting in place his bid for power, post 2008.
Those in the know say that the Harbarrowboy has specifically enlisted the support of a London-based Public Affairs agency, LLM Communications in his campaign.
Although LLM have had no noticeably favourable impact on Liverpool's standing in Westminster (didn't the Government tell the council to go away in short jerky movements when Bradley held out his begging bowl for £8million quid for extra 2008 bobbies? ed), it seems that 'Jase' has availed himself of their 'strategic political advice.'
It is alleged that the Harbarrowboy is old friends with one of LLM's Directors and the pair have been masterminding his bid to rule the world for the last 12 months.
The Harbarrowboy is now said to be eyeing up potential seats all over the country while cosying up big time to the movers and shakers in Westminster.
Apparently those of, shall we say, a 'long in the tooth' disposition are the MP's who are being specifically targetted by the Harbarrowboy who wishes to be viewed as an anointed successor.
(This is known as ambulance-chasing in the trade, ed)
However, there are several things that are not known about this unexpected development:

1) How much LLM are being paid by the people of Liverpool for their services?

2) Whether LLM were appointed in accordance with the council's strict procurement rules and regulations?

3) Whether the Harbarrowboy used the Culture Company's confused status as a separate entity to avoid the rules and simply phoned up his mates in London and offered them the gig?

4) Whether any relationships or conflicts of interests have been declared by anyone?

5) Whether any councillors have had any involvement in this murky matter?

6) Whether this is another example of Harbarrowboy's lobbying for a private company (shades of CMP and the Summer Pops again, ed).

The most important, intriguing and baffling question of all is this, however:

"Which political party will the Harbarrowboy be representing?"

Or more likely "Who the **** will admit the Harbarrowboy to their ranks?"
  • Cameron's new-look Conservatives? (Jase is a bit vulgar for the old Etonian, methinks, ed)

  • Gormless Gordon's charisma-free administration, post Blair? (Anything's possible I suppose and interestingly, LLM are said to be connected to certain Labour establishment figures, ed)

  • Or Ming's meandering middle of the roaders ? (I would have thought our old friend Councillor Storey might have had some strong representations to make to Ming. And anyway Ming won't last the year as Leader, ed)

Perhaps, in reality, (some mistake here, surely? ed) 'Jase' believes that 2008 will be such a triumph that he will be carried shoulder high by a grateful populace to the door of the Town Hall where the good burghers of the city will have stumped up enough cash and goodwill to enable him to stand as an Independent?

Or maybe 'Jase' secretly fancies his chances of riding the crest of a tsunami of popularity to become the first elected Mayor of Liverpool? (ohmygawd! ed)

Remember, you read it here first....Oh, what interesting times we do live in.

Editor's note: Readers of this particular posting are now advised to go and lie down in a darkened room for several hours while pressing a cold compress to their tortured brows.