The Harbarrowboy - future MP or first elected Mayor ?

Are you sitting down?

Then please prepare yourself for a nasty shock....
Word reaches us that Jason Harbarrowboy, aka as the Chief Executive of Nothing, harbours strong political ambitions!
(Pass the smelling salts, someone! ed)
It appears that 'Jase' - for this is the nomenclature which he apparently favours - is already putting in place his bid for power, post 2008.
Those in the know say that the Harbarrowboy has specifically enlisted the support of a London-based Public Affairs agency, LLM Communications in his campaign.
Although LLM have had no noticeably favourable impact on Liverpool's standing in Westminster (didn't the Government tell the council to go away in short jerky movements when Bradley held out his begging bowl for £8million quid for extra 2008 bobbies? ed), it seems that 'Jase' has availed himself of their 'strategic political advice.'
It is alleged that the Harbarrowboy is old friends with one of LLM's Directors and the pair have been masterminding his bid to rule the world for the last 12 months.
The Harbarrowboy is now said to be eyeing up potential seats all over the country while cosying up big time to the movers and shakers in Westminster.
Apparently those of, shall we say, a 'long in the tooth' disposition are the MP's who are being specifically targetted by the Harbarrowboy who wishes to be viewed as an anointed successor.
(This is known as ambulance-chasing in the trade, ed)
However, there are several things that are not known about this unexpected development:

1) How much LLM are being paid by the people of Liverpool for their services?

2) Whether LLM were appointed in accordance with the council's strict procurement rules and regulations?

3) Whether the Harbarrowboy used the Culture Company's confused status as a separate entity to avoid the rules and simply phoned up his mates in London and offered them the gig?

4) Whether any relationships or conflicts of interests have been declared by anyone?

5) Whether any councillors have had any involvement in this murky matter?

6) Whether this is another example of Harbarrowboy's lobbying for a private company (shades of CMP and the Summer Pops again, ed).

The most important, intriguing and baffling question of all is this, however:

"Which political party will the Harbarrowboy be representing?"

Or more likely "Who the **** will admit the Harbarrowboy to their ranks?"

• Cameron's new-look Conservatives? (Jase is a bit vulgar for the old Etonian, methinks, ed)

• Gormless Gordon's charisma-free administration, post Blair? (Anything's possible I suppose and interestingly, LLM are said to be connected to certain Labour establishment figures, ed)

• 

• Or Ming's meandering middle of the roaders ? (I would have thought our old friend Councillor Storey might have had some strong representations to make to Ming. And anyway Ming won't last the year as Leader, ed)
  

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Perhaps, in reality, (some mistake here, surely? ed) 'Jase' believes that 2008 will be such a triumph that he will be carried shoulder high by a grateful populace to the door of the Town Hall where the good burghers of the city will have stumped up enough cash and goodwill to enable him to stand as an Independent?

Or maybe 'Jase' secretly fancies his chances of riding the crest of a tsunami of popularity to become the first elected Mayor of Liverpool? (ohmygawd! ed)

Remember, you read it here first....Oh, what interesting times we do live in.

Editor's note: Readers of this particular posting are now advised to go and lie down in a darkened room for several hours while pressing a cold compress to their tortured brows.