Wednesday, April 25, 2007


A BLUNDER by Lib Dem councillor Frank Doran has caused red faces amongst his yellow colleagues in the run-up to next Thursday's council elections.
Forgetful Frank failed to renew his entry on the city council's electoral register and was left unable to nominate his party colleague Inspector Clueless, Richard Marbrow.

The more cynical have conjectured that this was a deliberate mistake by Frank, a former desert rat.

But we can reveal that Frank simply ****ed it up (there's an alarming amount of alliteration in this post already, ed)

Forgetful Frank managed to ignore three letters from the council asking him to return a form confirming he still lived at 37 John Lennon Drive and was still eligible to vote.

Perhaps he was arrogant enough to think that the council staff would put it through on the nod for him?

But they didn't. They followed the rules instead.

So it came to pass after the requisite period, that forgetful Frank was removed from the electoral register altogether.

Thankfully for him, he had ticked sufficient boxes on his nomination form when he was last elected in 2004.

That meant his failure to appear on the register did not mean he would be thrown off the council (do not cry 'shame' at this point, ed)

It was only when he came to sign clueless colleague Marbrow's nomination papers that he finally discovered his oversight.

His mistake has now been rectified and he is back on the register.

And he will also be able to vote for his bumptious colleague if he wants.
(But will be part of a very small, steadily dwindling group, addicted to pizza and pomposity in equal measure, if he does, ed).

He has not, however, been able to nominate his clueless colleague as he was too late to do this.

(Which numbskull did nominate him then? ed)

But here's an intriguing thought - could Frank's failure to respond to the three letters delivered to 37 John Lennon Drive be accounted for by the fact that he does not actually rest his weary head there at the end of a long hard day?

And if he is not there, where is he? (Afghanistan again? ed)

Clearly he doesnt pop round to collect his mail often enough!

thanks for the help with this post...


Anonymous said...

He must have been too busy with his own agenda all over again eh!

Strange how Frank's initiatives seem to lead to Bellway cleaning up more often than not

Anonymous said...


These are the people that govern our city.

Anonymous said...

Yes Fingers Frank might forget to fill in his form for his sack of wind colleague but you can bet he wouldnt forget if there was something in it for him personally

Anonymous said...

Perhaps "burnin' Doran" lives in a nice new Belway home?

Tori Blare said...

Fingers knows his mate is gonna take the fall for the rest of them, who needs a fat tub of lard as your councillor when you're starving yourself?

Anonymous said...

Does Fingers light them himself ?

Anonymous said...

Fingers might but forgot the light.

Tori Blare said...

Fingers was right!!
It's the end of the fat man,
The starving have spoken and what a close vote it was.
Well done Labour.
Who's the next victim?
Any suggestions?

Stori Blare said...

The next victim has just got to be the Cleins?
What utter gobshites.