Friday, June 15, 2007

WHOOOOOOPPSS! THE BALD LEGAL EAGLE HAS (CRASH) LANDED


PREPARE yourselves dear readers, for something of a let down...

News reaches us that the city council's acting City Solicitor, Michael Kenworthy has met with an unfortunate accident.

(What goes around, comes around, as Tory Blair, i mean Tori Blare, would say, ed)

It seems that Kenworthy, also known as the bald legal eagle, was conferring with council colleagues at a civic function to mark the opening of some obscure, non-descript standards body.

As is now the tradition in our Capital of Vultures, the wine was flowing.

The cultural canapes were fast disappearing and Kenworthy was entertaining the assembled company with tales of his derring-do battle to the brink with the first Tony Parrish. (Just kidding, ed. No one was entertained.)

Then Kenworthy, who has made it his lifetime's ambition to bring TP to justice (is this the city council's own peculiar brand of 'justice' then?- ie, they first of all break the law and then spend tens of thousands of pounds of council taxpayers money trying to cover it up? ed), had a slight mishap.

As the free booze flowed and the glasses were emptied, the bald legal eagle decided to fly the nest.

But then, I believe, he suddenly complained of 'feeling faint'.

The next thing you know, the bald legal eagle had landed. Crash-landed.

He was found lying in a heap not far from the scene of the carousing.

Any suggestion that Kenworthy had imbibed a single drop of alcohol, let alone too much, would be a disgraceful slur on an upstanding city council employee who has always upheld the highest traditions of public service.

Anyone who suggested otherwise and alleged that he had been freeloading too freely with the booze, would be guilty of the kind of disgraceful defamation which the first Tony Parrish perpetrated against such fine public servants as Sir David Henshaw, Dr David McElhinney and Mr Phillip Halsall.

(Have you taken leave of your senses? ed)

The legal eagle was taken to hospital where he has undergone a series of rigorous tests at great public expense to try and trace the source of the trouble, but without success.

As one councillor accurately remarked: "He didn't have to go to Fazakerley for a brain scan however, because there was obviously no point..."

He is now on the sick from the council (wonder if McElhinney will stop his sick pay? ed) where his expert legal advice and great legal judgement is sorely missed as prostrate he lies (what goes around, comes around as Tory Blair, i mean Tori Blare, would say (again), ed).

But, I believe, he will soon return to rejoin battle with Google in his lifelong bid to unmask TP and close down all blogs in the entire known universe (of which, more later, ed)

Meanwhile his predecessor as (non-acting, ed) City Solicitor, Graeme Careerist, is apparently tryin to keep his head down in the private sector and pretend he wasn't in charge when the council broke the law so disgracefully.

3 comments:

Tori Blare said...

Stop spelling my name wrong!

I have images of the legal eagle turning into that copper that never forgave Ronnie Biggs for getting away from the great train robbery.
Make sure the first Tony Parrish is in a new safe house or he may find he has a bag on his head and is shoved in a boat by the drunken baldy one, to bring him back over the Mersey to be tortured by the DOG!
Keep our Mentor safe!

Dave said...

Kenworthy is a complete wanker

The Birdman of Municipal said...

Could it be that Kenworthless has dropped off his perch with a touch of avian flu?