Monday, November 12, 2007

'RANDY' LAUNCHES NEW MEDIA CHARM OFFENSIVE TO TRY AND SAVE LIB DEMS

A MEDIA charm offensive has been launched by 'Randy' Newman to save the Fireman's skin and the Lib Dems.

Journalists from unholyTrinity Mirror, Radio Murkeyside and other assorted odds and sods from the Fourth Estate were invited to the Town Hall tonight to be wined and dined.

(Any members of the media who were not on the guest list get a gold star, eds)

It was hoped by Randy that a free piss-up and a few vol-au-vents would help persuade the susceptible hacks to lay off when it came to dishing the dirt on the Lib Dems and the incompetents at the Culture Company.

Indeed Randy who, extremely unusually, was not buying drinks for any young lady friends or, come to that, members of his own staff, orchestrated special 'guest' appearances by Fireman Bradley and Lord Mayor, Paul Clark.

Both Lib Dems took to their feet to lecture the journalists on what constitutes 'good news' and to allege that all this 'negative coverage we have been experiencing recently' was not in the city's best interests.

A lengthy editorial aside: What is definitely not in the city's best interests is for you bunch of Lib Dem fuck-wits to be paying a fortune in salaries to twats like Colin CoverUp, the Harbarrowboy, Donald Bullshitter, Randy, Clare McCogLoose et al, who don't know their arses from their elbows and couldn't run a piss-up in a brewery to save their lives.

Bradley 'entertained' the few assembled hacks who were forced to remain because they were unable to make a quick excuse about having a cold to catch.

The Fireman made a speech of such horrific ineptitude and cringe-worthiness that jaundiced journos wept openly in amazement that a Leader of a such a great city could be so unremittingly poor.

Both the Fireman and Clark tried to persuade the journos, apparently in all seriousness, that Liverpool's best interests were the same as the Lib Dems.

In other words and to parapahrase the Fireman and Clark: "Every time you write a story about how crap we are, it damages the city we all love so much and hold so dear to all our hearts, (blah, blah, blah, memo to chief sub-editor: "take in usual bollocks").

Or "Every time you run down this fine and noble, top-quality first class council of ours, you run down the city."

(Another lengthy editorial aside: Wrong on both counts, guys. This speech should have read: "Everytime you write a story about how crap we are, hastens the day when Liverpool wakes up from the Lib Dem nightmare, kicks these stupid fuckers out on their ear and gets some competent politicians and clean government in. OR .....Every time you expose this crap council, you make the case for a much better council with some strong leadership in charge. Which of course, is exactly what the put-upon people of Liverpool deserve."

Speaking of which: Labour's Joe Anderson turned up to spread more mischief amongst the assembled media.

So Lib Dem charm offensive to no avail.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Must we really wait till next May to be free of them? Isnt there something we can do sooner?

Tori Blare said...

The very fact that this blog and others like it exist is all because the media ignore the real news in favour of sex and titillation.
It is claimed that we all really really want to know what colour shite some top celebrity has done this week, but I must say I would rather know about real issues that actually affect my living life and for those that will come after me.
I wonder if, in years to come, when our future generations look back at this era and remember us for the shite in the papers, and have a good belly wobbling laugh,
at the way we were.

Anonymous said...

Tony...can you confirm for me who Randy Newman is and what he does? I just can't keep up with the goings on at LCC!

Tonys said...

Pleasure. Randy Newman is Paul Newman the £95,000 a year Director of unCommunications for the Culture Company. So called because he had the cheek to try and get Joe Riley the sack for his personal behaviour when his own personal behaviour, it seems, leaves much to be desired and which would almost certainly get hime into some serious trouble with his wife. Allegedly. He is also a liar as some prominent media personalities could testify. See the subculture posts about Riley for all the dirt. Now please try and keep up will you?

Did I imagine this? said...

Randy may have to modify his charm offensive. At least 3 of the executive members and a regular group of between 5 and 8 high profile lib dims are discussing a plan to oust Bradley painlessly, well not for him, and how they can make a sack cloth and ashes rebirth before the next election without damaging capital of culture. There is strong belief amongst them that if they don't act now then the game will be up in May.

The latest theme for the meetings was whether to let him open 2008 or not or to get him out before Xmas while they think the media will be preoccupied with "what tosser has the biggest collection of xmas tat outside their house."

New leader for the New Year and bright new start for 2008. One of the hopefuls sees a last chance stab at leadership (although the others have no intention of supporting them) They have even been having a few chats with a sworn enemy about their hopeless Pinocchio protégé and promising them a secure cabinet place. It seems that he is not willing to play. But don't worry, it is not a sudden bout or ethics, just that they have had same offer from another exec member who has more backing. They also need to watch out for a certain ambitious young chap who may be a spy in the ranks or ready to stab the fireman on their behalf, the Jury is out at the moment so he is not being invited to every meeting. They may have a winner of a policy too, one that could catch the publics attention. "A cull of Municipal Fat Cats"

All trust and confidence in the Executive management team is gone and they know that some are already briefing Labour members to the same level as them so they aim to send the treacherous clowns packing before the May Elections amidst a high profile tough line on ending outrageous salaries for the elite. The Executive Directors are to be sliced off and replaced with a reduced two tier EMT Chief Executive and two Asst CEOs with a wider brief. The remainder will be AED level. The AEDs will be instructed to then cull the immediate level below them. The rally cry will be "Clearing out the Fat cats to put the customer first and protect the front line services and staff that really matter to the council tax payer" This comes with a sudden attack of conscience about the plight of the care workers. It will also be a start in trying to plug the budget deficit. Not much of one but they hope it will sound good enough to convince the voter.

Sadly one, well maybe two, of the only decent members who could potentially provide some honourable leadership is being excluded from the meetings as they are seen to be a bit over friendly with the Executive Directors.

Tony Parrish47 said...

Interesting. If I can provide some free advice (which I only normally do for good causes) I would say that stabbing the fireman before xmas makes sense - attention would be a little distracted. however, i believe they will have to act quicker than that because things are going to get worse - and quickly. more stuff will come out which will make both Bradley and Storeyteller even weaker and their position more precarious. which brings me to storyteller, who i gather is one of the current Exec members who this small 'cabal' of lib dims are trying to cosy up to. my strong advice would be: forget it. he is now so tarnished that nothing less than a wholesale clear-out from the top will do. he should have resigned as a councillor that might have given him some honour at least - the more he hangs on the worse it gets for him now. no-one believes a word he says anymore and his cowardice in being unavailable for comment after his cuts caused the Mathew Street disaster, has astonished both the media and his own colleagues. so i wouldn't be doing a deal with him which keeps him in the cabinet and stabs bradley in the back. it would be incredible.
on the subject of the fat cats - i think its too late. the lib dims are too associated with this corrupt regime now. the mathew st report has just underlined that. the only way that they could do a convincing sackcloth and ashes act would be to cut off the remaining head of the monster - hilton and halsall and harbarrow and mcelhinney as well as bradey and storey - which the lib dims have neither the bottle nor the ability to manage. the best hope for Liverpool therefore lies with Joe Anderson and Co getting in come May and wielding the knife absolutely ruthlessly. and even then it will be a difficult job for joe to send these clowns packing. i think the lib dims are fucked basically. they are incapable of doing what's required to give them a hope in hell of hanging on. what is worse for them is that their reputation is so bad now that it will be years before they come back. a bit like the tories after thatcher and major (indeed there are some uncanny parallels). which makes me a very happy boy indeed...

Iknow said...

It is said that Paul Clein has bought a new hat. He as most people know hates Storey and Bradley, seems that OverFlo Clucas could well join forces with Clein as she was soundly beaten last time.
The Pantomime season is always early in Liverpool and this years panto at the Town Hall on 12/12/ is well worth getting tickets for.

Anonymous said...

Randy can't save the LibDems, but what is interesting is that Liverpool Labour is recieving extra attention from the party's regional office in Warrington. Labour are being given extra resources to help mount a bigger challenge to LibDems in a whole host of seats.