'ARE YOU 'AVIN A LARFFFFFF?'

LIB Dim chief whip Councillor Steve Hurst has apparently come up with an unusual defence to the charge of breaking election law.

Word has it that Hurst is insisting that, rather than posting illegal smear leaflets through the doors of homes in Belle Vale, he was actually removing them from the letterboxes.

"Are you 'aving a larfff?" said that funny little bloke from Extras.

Hurst's portrayal of himself as a public-spirited, anti-litter minded environmentalist, is of course, entirely plausible.

Indeed it is incredibly similar to the brilliant defence mounted by Jack the Ripper when caught standing over one of his lifeless victims, brandishing a bloodied knife in one hand.

"I was taking the knife out of her chest, mlud" protested Jack to the trial judge, "to help her breathe more easily. I just had to do it several times...."

Jack was of course promptly cleared of the murder charge and then went on to massacre a further 4787 ladies of the night with total impunity. (We have made all this up, of course, but you get our point, eds)

We await Hurst's trial in March with bated breath, when every detail of the disgraceful dirty tricks that happened in Belle Vale will hopefully emerge.

The seriousness of the charge facing Hurst has been underlined by the revelation that the Crown Prosecution Service decided to press a criminal charge against the Lib Dim councillor who is reponsible for internal party discipline.

You couldn't make this up! eds.

The police prosecution follows the extraordinary doorstep dust-up in Belle Vale ward during the local elections.

At least 10 witnesses are ready to be called to give evidence against Hurst.

Readers will recall that at the centre of the prosecution will be a fake leaflet purporting to be from 'a real socialist party - TUSP' which smeared the husband of Labour candidate, Pauline Watson.

Her husband is a local firefighter - like Hurst.

The leaflet was clearly an attempt to damage Labour's chances in the local elections - but thankfully backfired (literally).

Lib Dim Council leader Fireman Warren Bradley has so far failed to suspend Hurst, or even withdraw the whip from Hurst, even though he has been charged with a criminal offence.

Which reveals, interestingly, that Bradley has less of a clue about what constitues appropriate behaviour and Leadership skills than even Tory Leader David Cameron.

The leaflet also broke election law by carrying no imprint giving the name and address of the organisation which had printed and published it.

So far lazy chief executive Colin CoverUp has also done nothing about this - not even rousing himself from his slumbers to launch an official investigation (probably still too busy investigating the first Tony Parrish, ed).

We can only ask this question:

Where else in the world - but Liverpool - would a member of the ruling Cabinet be allowed to carry on in office when facing a criminal prosecution?