COWBOY FIREMAN BRADLEY VANISHES - THE LONE RANGER SAYS - 'HI HO SILVER AND AWAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!

MYSTERY surrounds the whereabouts of the cowboy Fireman Bradley today.

He vanished like the Lone Ranger soon after the city council was officially ranked the worst in Britain.

The mystery deepened after two contradictory explanations were given for his sudden disappearance (and recent failure to appear in cheesy city council photo opps).

The first explanation for his absence, which he gave to members of his Lib Dim Executive Board as he departed on Friday, is that he has gone off on a week-long 'walking holiday' (yes, we did say 'walking', eds) to the Lake District.

The second explanation, which we have from totally authoritative sources, is that he has in fact gone to Mexico (Viva Zapata! eds) for his brother-in-law's wedding.

The second explanation seems to us to be the most likely since, as we all know, there are already quite a few other cowboys 'down Mexico way'. But who is Tonto?

Perhaps the Lone Ranger is planning to be at The Last Gunfight at the OK Corrall?
Anyroadup, we are now launching An Official Public Appeal for anyone who spots the cowboy Fireman anywhere in the world in the coming week.

Please let us know where and when - preferably by supplying photographic evidence. (You can post us some links in comments, eds....)

The cowboy Fireman's disappearance is perfectly understandable however.

Pressure is mounting on all sides as the Standards Board begin their investigation into his plot to oust the Harbarrowboy.

The Lone Fireman has already been going around in recent weeks, stetson in hand and Tonto at his side, begging for character references from the great and good.

He will then submit any references he gets (and we shall name names, eds) to the investigators as part of his defence.

The Storeyteller tried the same trick three years ago, but it did him no good whatsoever.
Legendary solicitor 'Sexy Rexy' Makin has also become the first public figure to call for Bradley (and Hilton's) resignation.

This has been the view amongst the great and the good for some time - but none of them have had the bottle to go public.

Unlike Rex.

Interestingly, the arch hypocrite, arrogant and pompous Councillor Richard Kemp (not our favourite person then? eds) who has a lucrative little sinecure with the Local Government Association which enables him to hold forth on any subject in his typically puffed-up way, has also broken cover for the first time.

He has ludicrously demanded a public apology from the Audit Commission for ranking Liverpool as the worst council in the country.

This has only succeeded in attracting even more negative headlines.

Kemp does not yet appear to have learnt the first rule of Public Relations - when buried deep in hole, stop digging!

Readers will recall that Kemp - being the true liberal he clearly isn't - publicly argued for the original Tony Parrish's 'Liverpool evil cabal' blog to be banned and for the people of Liverpool to be denied the truth about Henshaw, McElhinney and Halsall.

Kemp is also the architect of the disastrous Boot Estate fiasco.

We would really, really, really, love it if he made a serious bid for Bradley's stetson.

For Kemp appears to be supremely arrogant enough to actually believe he should be Leader!

Meanwhile watch out for the spin machine going into overdrive to give the impression that Bradley is still present and correct in Liverpool.

Already a press release has been issued pledging that Bradley is personally going to plug the £60million hole in the council's budget.

This was a desperate attmnpt to convey an 'I'm in charge' impression after Bradley had run for cover from the Audit Commission and refused to be interviewed.

The press release was very helpful to those Labour supporters amongst us who would be truly horrified if the Government decided to bale the Lib Dims out of the mess and crisis they have created in Liverpool.

Why should the Labour Government save the necks of the Lib Dims in Liverpool?

But now that Bradley has promised to personally find the dosh and make the cuts, all the MPs can go back to representing their constituents.

Presumably.

No more crisis meetings with Hasitall and CoverUp Hilton ringing their hands and begging for help?

Presumably.

Bradley's going to sort it.

So that's alright then.

Meanwhile, we hope that Inspector Clueless will busily step into the breach to solve the mystery of the Fireman's continuing disappearance.

LATEST ON THE POOR STRESS-FILLED FIREMAN - UP TO THE MINUTE CONDITION CHECK

GOSSIPERS worried about the condition of accused law-breaker Steve Hurst can rest assured.

It looks as though the Lib Dem Chief Whip's failing health is gradually improving, since he apparently felt well enough to attend a neighbourhood meeting this evening.

Councillor Hurst appeared perfectly relaxed and composed throughout the meeting and exhibited no signs of the unfortunate stress which has forced him to go on sick leave from the fire service.

This now makes it three council meetings he has felt well enough to attend while on sick leave from the fire service.

There is also some further good news for Councillor Hurst, who has so far escaped suspension from the Lib Dem group despite facing a criminal charge accused of election dirty tricks next March.


His Lib Dem colleagues are having a whip round to help him out (although he is still on full pay with public money from the fire service, of course).


If by some remarkable travesty of justice, Councillor Hurst were to be found guilty next month of producing a disgusting nasty and untrue little smear leaflet in Belle Vale last May, it would tend to show his Lib Dem colleagues to be a bunch of unprincipled, cynical, nasty little bastards who believe in nothing but themselves and cannot distinguish right from wrong.

REVEALED AMAZING NEW CURE FOR STRESS - ATTENDING AT COUNCIL MEETINGS!

WHAT are we to make, dear Gossipers, of the appearance of accused law-breaker, Councillor Steve Hurst, at last week's full council meeting?

We only ask because, sadly, Hurst is currently on sick leave from the fire service with stress, pending his forthcoming and keenly awaited trial next month.

Hurst, the Lib Dem Chief Whip responsible for internal Party discipline, is, you will all vividly recall, accused of breaking election law by delivering a disgusting and thoroughly nasty little smear leaflet against the Labour candidate and her fireman husband through the letterboxes of houses in Belle Vale.

His understandable stress at the prospect of facing a trial with 10 witnesses ranged against him, seemed to miraculously disappear last Wednesday when he was able to take his seat in the council chamber, without any apparent ill-effects.

(Sadly, many public spectators were in need of emergency treatment after listening to Fireman Bradley, eds)

Even more astonishing was Hurst's appearance the week before at a day-long Planning Committee meeting.

Again, Hurst appeared to demonstrate remarkable resilience and good health.

Perhaps he finds attending boring council meetings an effective therapy for the terrible curse of stress-related illnesses?

If so, perhaps Hurst has unwittingly discovered a cure - and we should therefore make compulsory attendance at council meetings now immediately available on the National Health Service?

Any appalling suggestion that, in fact, Hurst is swinging the lead from the fire service and thereby ripping off the public who pay his wages, is of course, without any foundation, whatsoever.

For what could his motive for that possibly be?

Some suspicious people would suggest that perhaps Hurst was going to use his illness in mitigation to try to win a sympathy vote. Or even, perhaps, it would make him unfit to stand trial?

If the outrageous suggestion that Hurst was swinging the lead were true, it would then also have to be true that Hurst suddenly went on the sick when he was tipped off by an insider that Fire Chief Tony McGurk was about to suspend him, pending his criminal trial.

That couldn't possibly be true. For it would mean that Hurst did not want to attract more damaging publicity and increase interest in his trial through being officially suspended by the fire service.

And that would be an outrageous slur on a fine and upstanding public servant - rather in the mould of the beyond-reproach Fireman Bradley.

Meanwhile Fireman Bradley, who is obviously a far better judge than Fire Chief McGurk on what is appropriate behaviour (and is clearly better able to judge Hurst's innocence ahead of a trial), is still refusing to suspend Hurst from the Lib Dem group pending the outcome of the prosecution.

And nor has Cover Up yet launched a council investigation.

'ARE YOU 'AVIN A LARFFFFFF?'

LIB Dim chief whip Councillor Steve Hurst has apparently come up with an unusual defence to the charge of breaking election law.

Word has it that Hurst is insisting that, rather than posting illegal smear leaflets through the doors of homes in Belle Vale, he was actually removing them from the letterboxes.

"Are you 'aving a larfff?" said that funny little bloke from Extras.

Hurst's portrayal of himself as a public-spirited, anti-litter minded environmentalist, is of course, entirely plausible.

Indeed it is incredibly similar to the brilliant defence mounted by Jack the Ripper when caught standing over one of his lifeless victims, brandishing a bloodied knife in one hand.

"I was taking the knife out of her chest, mlud" protested Jack to the trial judge, "to help her breathe more easily. I just had to do it several times...."

Jack was of course promptly cleared of the murder charge and then went on to massacre a further 4787 ladies of the night with total impunity. (We have made all this up, of course, but you get our point, eds)

We await Hurst's trial in March with bated breath, when every detail of the disgraceful dirty tricks that happened in Belle Vale will hopefully emerge.

The seriousness of the charge facing Hurst has been underlined by the revelation that the Crown Prosecution Service decided to press a criminal charge against the Lib Dim councillor who is reponsible for internal party discipline.

You couldn't make this up! eds.

The police prosecution follows the extraordinary doorstep dust-up in Belle Vale ward during the local elections.

At least 10 witnesses are ready to be called to give evidence against Hurst.

Readers will recall that at the centre of the prosecution will be a fake leaflet purporting to be from 'a real socialist party - TUSP' which smeared the husband of Labour candidate, Pauline Watson.

Her husband is a local firefighter - like Hurst.

The leaflet was clearly an attempt to damage Labour's chances in the local elections - but thankfully backfired (literally).

Lib Dim Council leader Fireman Warren Bradley has so far failed to suspend Hurst, or even withdraw the whip from Hurst, even though he has been charged with a criminal offence.

Which reveals, interestingly, that Bradley has less of a clue about what constitues appropriate behaviour and Leadership skills than even Tory Leader David Cameron.

The leaflet also broke election law by carrying no imprint giving the name and address of the organisation which had printed and published it.

So far lazy chief executive Colin CoverUp has also done nothing about this - not even rousing himself from his slumbers to launch an official investigation (probably still too busy investigating the first Tony Parrish, ed).

We can only ask this question:

Where else in the world - but Liverpool - would a member of the ruling Cabinet be allowed to carry on in office when facing a criminal prosecution?

CAPITAL OF CULTURE PARTY NIGHT: THE ROGUES GALLERY

BOTH former chief executives of the Liverpool Culture Company turned up on Saturday night for the Albert Dock party after the Arena show.


The 'off-sick' Jason Harborow arrived with an apparent retinue of supporters, including ex-Granada boss Sue Woodward and the woman pictured in our exclusive photo.


And Sir Diddy Henshaw was also present in the queue outside the Albert Dock with his wife Alison - although he appears to have turned tail and run for it, shortly after being spotted by our photographer.


Which was lucky for him, because according to reliable declarations from a string of enthusiastic volunteers, Henshaw would have ended up in the dock himself within minutes.The little man ducked and dived in the queue to avoid his photograph being taken and pretended to engage Professor Michael Parkinson in conversation as Lady Henshaw looked on anxiously.


Our spies then collected at the dock entrance, where Pete Price was interviewing random C list celebrities for telly, ready to give Henshaw an early bath.


Only to be left waiting, while Henshaw disappeared sharpish back to North Wales to count his money.



Still there's always a next time.

Between them, the two failed chief execs have trousered more than £600,000 of council taxpayer's money in the run-up to Liverpool, Capital of Culture 2008. Neither paid for their tickets to the Arena - their freebies were authorised by CoverUp.


But spare a thought for poor Jason.


He is in complete denial and appears to think he will be back in charge of CoC Up within weeks.


He went around the Albert Dock professing to anyone who would listen that he was 'fighting fit' and boasting of how much much he had contributed to the Arena show.

As someone remarked - "he might be physically fit, but it sounds as though he's gone a bit doo-lally".


The blog was well represented (purely on the grounds of reporting accuracy, you understand, eds)


Front line staff from the Culture Company were not invited to the piss-up - two free drinks and as much nosh as you could eat - but CoverUp was there, along with a myriad of 'senior' city council boring bureacrats and the usual Lib Dem councillors (so not much of a 'do' then? eds)


The Fireman stomped around, leaving his missus trailing, with a face like thunder (as well he might, according to tales from the fire engine room. Of which more follows soon, eds)


But there was no obvious sign of the Storeyteller.

However, as another spectator remarked: "He must be here if Bradley is here - there's no Punch without Judy".


Acting CoC chief executive, Donald Bullshitter was creeping up to Steve Broomhead from the NWDA, while Henshaw's former £500 a day personal spin 'matron' Alison Hastings, wife of Museums boss David Fleming, spent most of the evening constantly looking over her shoulder.


(Perhaps she was worried that Henshaw might need further attention? eds)


Other interesting snippets:

• That PR bloke, Ben Lucas, from LLM, who trousered £323,000 for doing bugger all, was also loitering around some of the politicians looking for the next money-grabbing opportunity.
  
• The great and the good had apparently been treated to a slap up meal before the show at the Malmaison as part of of a CoC Civic event. Labour leader Joe Anderson was not present.
  
• A mate of Our Lord's, a bloke called Carl, who used to work with Redmond at Mersey TV, was given responsibility for organising the event. We don't know who gave him the go-ahead or why, or even if the event organisation was put out to tender.

And we have no idea how much it cost.
But we were reliably infomed it was in the region of £80,000.
And who paid?
Why you did of course.....!

WIRRAL EXCLUSIVE: MARK RONSON SAYS 'NO' TO LIVERPOOL, SO TOO DOES IAN BROUDIE...

We reveal for your enlightenment, proposals by Ear to the Ground - the Manchester-based company - for the launch of Liverpool Capital of Culture tonight and tomorrow.

Unfortunately top record producer Mark Ronson - 'Valerie' etc - has turned down the opportunity to appear.

As has Ian Broudie, of the Lightning Seeds.

The Culture Company are desperately keeping the list of artists who will be appearing a closely-guarded secret.

So any appearances by anyone will look like a bonus.

Meanwhile, as you know, huge containers will open up outside St George's tonight spilling out Liverpool's cultural offering for 2008. Rather like vomit. (No mention of jobs or the millions wasted etc, eds).

There is huge speculation and joking in the Culture Company that at least one of the containers will contain all the people that have been hired and then fired (guest appearances by Jase, Henshaw, Robbing, etc).

The other will contain all the millions of pounds that has been wilfully and negligently handed over to them and wasted.

Meanwhile, this is a verbatim transcript of how the opening nights are being choreographed by the Mancs from Ear to the Ground.

(PS We know it's not really Gossip, but we couldn't fit this in anywhere else because all the blogs are up to date with important and good stuff and there is more to come. So stay posted, eds)

The provisional performance timeline;
18:30 Start of procession
Mark Ronson and the other artists will be on a ferry travelling down the Mersey. At key points there will be fireworks let off to animate the journey.
At the same time The RLPO will be split on to two open top buses that will lead 2 lantern processions to the arena. The processions will involve other celebrities and people from Liverpool.
19:08 St Georges Hall and the plateau : the city unites
The massed Liverpool artists will be welcomed by the people of the city in front of St Georges’ Hall. Projected clocks on the side of the building mark the countdown as aerial rockets are launched every one of the last eight minutes to the opening of the City of Culture.
Across the plateau there will be art installations and fairground rides, but until 20:08 they are still. Lights are focused across the buildings but again are dimmed, as sky trackers and huge spot lights scan across them.
Around the square huge close up projections of the faces of a cross section of Liverpudlians talk about what their city may become –their fears and hopes for the future.

Proposal
Aim: Mark Ronson to open the Liverpool Arena and European Capital of Culture
Date: 12th January 2008
20:00
The artists arrive and begin to flood out though the doors of the hall onto the steps, in front of the massed crowd.
The tiers of performers interspersed with two dimensional cut out figures of past and absent heroes, recall the famous cover of Sergeant Peppers Lonely hearts Club Band and Adrian Henri’s iconic Hope Street painting. This tableau of Liverpool artists, photoshopped prior to the event, is projected cross the building and accompanied by a soundscape of the people of Liverpool talking about what they so love about the artist’s work they have selected and how it has enriched their lives. These voices are layered and supported by the echoing sound of the sounds and songs of the city, its music, its football crowds, the bells of its cathedrals and favourite songs.
20: 05
A representative of the city makes a short inspirational speech, (so not the Fireman, then eds) inter cut by ever larger markings of the passing minutes. This speech welcomes the artists who the city’s people have chosen to honour at this historic moment (not Henshaw, not Storey, not McElhinney, not Hasitall, not Robbing, not Jase, either, eds) and what their work has meant to them.

It welcomes the artists and people of Europe and the world to come, enjoy and savour the culture of one of the world’s most unique cities.
20:08
The speech concludes, (thank Christ for that, eds) a wall of fountains lift off from the buildings, surrounding the audience in a ring of fire, as huge aerial shells light up the sky.
Through the smoke of this opening salvo a figure is illuminated high above the crowd
on the pinnacle of the Radio Mast. (Is it Cover Up? Perhaps it's Our Lord Redmond? eds)

He holds a guitar, and has a small guitar amp at his feet. (It's Hasitall!, eds) His image, projected across the projection screens, could be that of any of the tens of thousands of young aspirant guitarists, who have been the bedrock of the cities musical fame (Someone from Sirenz? eds)

After a moments pause he plays an opening guitar break. (Don't get too excited. It's Dave Stewart, Liverpool connection unknown. But that's a detail, eds)

As it echoes across the space, flares are released from the building tops all around the crowd, illuminating 200 young guitarists that appear on the rooftops surrounding the crowd below.
Together they play a ‘Liverpool Concerto for guitars’. Their silhouettes fill the skyline of St Georges Hall, Lime Street, the Holiday Inn, The Royal Court, St John’s Car Park, The Empire
As they play a further ten famous Liverpool guitarists are lifted into the air on scissor lifts between each of the pillars of the Hall.
Finally a rhythm section joins in as Ringo Starr is illuminated on the roof above the
Portico, with a support band made up of iconic Liverpool musicians.
From the Portico Roof, Cilla Black steps forward and welcomes the crowd. She is
joined by Atomic Kitten who perform a new version of ‘Step Inside Love’, produced by
Ian Brodie (They can't spell his name properly, but never mind, he's not tuurning up anyway, eds) which is released into the charts the following day.
As the ‘concerto ‘concludes, three cherry pickers rise up into the air. They carry Roger McGough, Levei Tefara and the young winner of a competition run through Liverpool
schools. They who recite three inter locking short poems commissioned specially for the event.
Then as fireworks lift off the building, Dave Stewart, and Ringo Starr perform their new collaboration ‘Liverpool I left you, but never let you down’ , from the St Georges Rooftop, again to be released as a single the following day and delivered at no cost to the event. (Utter Bollocks of course, eds)
There follows a commissioned piece for lone saxophone and a massed Liverpool choir climaxing with the lighting of a large, crane hung ‘08’ fire sculpture and an intense three minute firework display that lights up the sky.
The opening is finished and attention focuses to the evenings main performance.
21:30 The opening of the arena
For the press and VIP’s, the 1000 people who have won tickets through a city wide ballot, and the 7,000 ticket holders, the focus of the evening now shifts to the opening of the New Arena.
For its first public performance, the City commissions an extraordinary new work, a
contemporary reflection and ‘re-invention’ inspired by the musical heritage, reworked,
mixed, stirred and put together again in a radical new way, both a tribute to the past
and mirror to the future.
The concert brings together Mark Ronson, (oh no it doesn't, eds) Vasily Petrenko, the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra, choirs, a cross section of the city’s principal and most famous
musicians from the last forty years and a range of prominent musicians from around
the world.
Staged on an eight tier high and twenty metre wide scaffolding structure, it vertically stacks choirs, musicians and Royal Philharmonic Orchestra vertically in to the air, and through the use of theatrical scrims projects on to them, through them and over them a collage of extraordinary images of the city.
At the centre of the project sits Mark Ronson (oh no he doesn't, eds) While based in New York Mark traces his roots back to Liverpool where his family is from. While growing he became a close family friend of many of Liverpool’s most influential musicians. Today, as a producer
and DJ he has become one of the most influential figures in contemporary music and
production. (But he won't be in Liverpool anyway so it doesn't really matter, does it? eds)
His speciality is the reinvention of songs of the past, fusing them with new beats, rhythms and influences and working with a range of the world’s most prominent vocalists and artists. Past work has included re-workings of ‘Hey Jude’ and the Zuton’s ‘Valerie’ re-recorded by Amy Winehouse. He currently has a number two in the charts, a recreating of a Smith’s song, and an acclaimed new album ‘Versions’. (Good idea (ish) but he isn't here is he? eds)
Mark will work with classical composers, the RLPO and wide selection of contemporary and popular musicians and singers to create this re- imagining of the cities music, a homage its power to inspire new generations of artists. It will range from early traditional Liverpool songs and lullabies, through the songs of the Mersey Sound, to Eric’s and Cream and unsigned new Liverpool bands. It will feature many of the most loved son and daughters of the Liverpool music scene and integrate spoken word and text, featuring the array of writers, poets and playwrights for which the city is famous, figures such as Roger McGough, Willy Russel, Alan Bleasdale and Jimmy McGovern. ('Who invited him then?' - Joe Riley)
The selected song line will be ordered and chosen in such a way to tell the story of the city and the influences that will forge its identity and future, as it explores different ways to re-invent and re-generate itself. (Utter bollocks - ways to waste taxpayers money, eds)
This story will be visually told through a collision of images drawn from the amazing range of visual artists, film makers and photographers who have been inspired by the city’s qualities and identities. It will draw widely on the current Tate exhibition ‘The Centre of the Creative Universe’.
However, like the music, these images will be forged together, in new ways and forms,
manipulated and re-invented with the latest developments in digital film technology, and cutting edge artists from the city.
Initial thoughts for songs include
1. The Beatles Eleanor Rigby
2. The Zutons Valerie
3. Elvis Costello Shipbuilding
4. Echo and the Bunnymen Killing Moon
5. The Farm All together now (hey, that's us! eds)
6. Space Female of the Species
7. The Las There she goes
8. The Undertones Teenage Kicks (John Peels Favourite Song)
9. George Harrison My Sweet Lord
10. Paul McCartney Live and Let die
11. The Real Thing Can you feel the force
12. The Coral Bill McCai
13. The Dead 60s Riot Radio
14. Cilla Black Step inside
15. K Klass Let me show you love (last song played at cream)

There is a further list one the last page.
We need Marks input on songs that he feels his unique style would do the most justice. These are quite famous songs and should only be looked as a starting point.
The inevitable conversations between Mark and other artists will lead to gems being uncovered that will produce a truly unique performance. (ie, 'we have no idea what to do next,' eds)
There is the potential to use other songs not from Liverpool but performed by Liverpool artists
It is important that the whole evening does not rest on the legacy of The Beatles.
The quality of artists that collaborate on the evening is crucial to the success of this event, using Marks contacts alongside our own something great can be achieved. (But won't be, because Mark is not doing it, eds)
23:00 Performance over
Rehearsal time
We would imagine 4 full production rehearsals taking place in the Arena with the
orchestra 8th – 11th January.
It is possible to arrange a number of days working with the RLPO whenever Mark is available.
It is also possible to arrange meetings between Mark and Vasily Petrenko the principle conductor of RLPO
Performance Rights
We have a dedicated lawyer who will sort out the publishing rights for the chosen songs
Fee
The CD and DVD rights are to be negotiated and will form part of the negotiations of
Marks fees for the studio, rehearsal and performance. (And there's the rub, eds)
Audience
10,000 seats at the arena
The provisional allocation is
1,500 VIP / rider (oh aye, who is this lot then? Will Tony Parrish get a seat? eds)
1,000 giveaways to the people of Liverpool (Gee thanks, eds)
7,500 paid seats
Hospitality packages are available and are still to be negotiated.
40,000 people around the city watching on large screens (high dependency on weather
in January) (This figure appears to have gone down to 25,000, eds)
Promoter
Liverpool Capital of Culture will be promoting and ticketing the whole event and taking the revenues. (With The Rottweiller's LDL, raking off their mark-up, eds)
The Liverpool Capital of Culture will be underwriting the whole event and taking out event and cancellation insurance
Production
The event will be produced by Ear to the Ground.
Once contracts have been signed EttG will be the sole point of contact for the event
Media Coverage
To be decided upon Mark and other artists involvement
Next Steps
To organise a face to face meeting with all parties to finalise the contracts as soon as possible
Background
Nigel Jamieson
Nigel Jamieson is one of the world’s leading event and theatre directors.
His work has included creating the central component of the Opening Ceremony of 2000 Sydney Olympics Games, directing six segments of 24 hour worldwide Millennium Broadcast, and Artistic Direction of the 2002 Closing Ceremony of the Manchester Commonwealth Games.
He directed Jose Carreras at Ankor Wat ,Cambodia, has worked at the Royal National
Theatre, and created the London Festival of New Circus and the London International
Workshop Festival. His recent production ‘Honour Bound’, about Guantanamo Bay
opens its2007 European Tour at the Vienna Festival prior to a major tour culminating
at London’s Barbican Centre.
Ear to the Ground
Ear to the Ground is an events agency that conceives and produces experiential activity using its understanding of contemporary culture.
They confidently combine innovative concepts with a solid production foundation to inspire both clients and audiences.
The company was formed in 2002 by Jon Drape and Steve Smith. They met in the legendary Hacienda where Jon was the in house venue manager and Steve had filled it with one of his many club nights. That was then, today Ear to the Ground has a wide portfolio of events ranging working across many sectors, art, fashion, film alongside music.
David Norris will be leading the project from Ear to the Ground.
Richard Mc Ginnis
Richard Mc Ginnis is a Liverpool based promoter with over 11 years experience in the city. Behind Liverpool success stories Chibuku & Circus, through these events has won every major dance music award out there from Mixmag club of the year to BBC Radio one House Rules Club of the year. Richard is also talent booker for the legendary Liverpool dance festival Creamfeilds now in his 4th year as talent consultant as well as being one of the owners of the extremely successful Manchester based Warehouse Project at Boddingtons. In 2006 alone he was behind no less than 200,000 ticket sales
Liverpool Culture Company
The Liverpool Culture Company is the organisation set up by Liverpool City Council to
deliver the culture programme up to and beyond 2008 (God help us, eds)
They are working closely with all their stakeholders - including cultural organisations, communities, artists, schools, businesses, commercial partners, funders and our fellow Merseyside boroughs - to help Liverpool shine on the world stage by delivering the best-ever European Capital of Culture in 2008.
Liverpool Culture Company has a broad remit and the definition of culture covers everything from artistic performance to heritage, health to tourism.
European Capital of Culture
The European Capital of Culture is a city designated by the European Union for a period of one year during which it is given a chance to showcase its cultural life and cultural development. A number of European cities have used the City of Culture year to transform their cultural base and, in doing so, the way in which they are viewed internationally.
Conceived as a means of bringing citizens of European Union closer together, European City of Culture was launched on June 13, 1985 by the Council of Ministers on the initiative of the Greek Minister of Culture Melina Mercouri. Since then, the initiative has been more and more successful amongst European citizens and has had a growing cultural and socio-economic impact on the numerous visitors it has attracted.
The Song List
ARTISTS SONG TITLE
Boo Radley Wake Up Boo
Cilla Black Liverpool Lullaby
Classic song In My Liverpool Home
Echo and the Bunnymen 7 Seas
Echo and the Bunnymen Killing Moon
Elvis Costello Shipbuilding
Elvis Costello I can't stand up for falling down
Frankie goes to Hollywood Relax
Frankie goes to Hollywood Two Tribes
George Harrison My Sweet Lord
Gerry and the Pacemakers Don't Let the Sun Catch you Crying
Gerry and the Pacemakers Ferry across the Mersey
Gerry and the Pacemakers You'll Never Walk Alone
Isaac Hayes I love Music
Jimmy Osmond Long Haired Lover from Liverpool
John Lennon Power to the People
John Lennon Starting Over
John Lennon Whatever gets you through the night
John Newton Amazing grace
The Undertones Teenage Kicks
Julian Cope World Shut yer Mouth
K Klass Let me show you love
Ladytron Seventeen
Lighting Seeds/Ian Brodie Footballs Coming Home (Football moment)
Lightning Seeds/Ian Brodie Marvellous
Marc Almond/Gene Pitney Anyone who had a Heart
Paul McCartney Live and Let Die
Pete Wylie Heart as big as Liverpool
Screaming J Hawkins You Put A Spell On Me (Listened to by the Beatles)
Space Female of the Species
The Beatles Come Together
The Beatles Revolution Cream
The Beatles Working Class Hero
The Beatles Magical Mystery Tour
The Beatles Yesterday (Ray Charles Version)
The Farm Altogether Now
The La's There She Goes (Gabrielle's version)
The Mighty Wah! Story of the Blues
The Real Thing Can you feel the the Force
The Real Thing Children of the Ghetto (Mary J Blige version)
The Zutons Valerie
Possibly using just the rifts and samples of The Beatles songs to abridge the performance.

(And the cost...............? eds)

GRUDGE MATCH: ANDERSON STUFFS IT UP BRADLEY 3-1

EVERYTHING Fireman Bradley touches seems to end in tears at the moment.

Witness Saturday's keenly fought junior football tussle between Dingle Villa and Mosspit Juniors.

Who was that familiar fella running the line during the game (and coming in for some fairly direct critiscism from spectators about what he could do with his little flag?)

Step forward none other than our Mathew Street hero, the Fireman Bradley, coach to Mosspit Juniors, whose son keeps goal for the side.

And who, on the other side, was that talented young central midfielder for opposition Villa?

Step forward, none other than Michael Anderson, son of Labour leader Joe Anderson.

Young Michael, the Villa skipper, had the greatest of pleasure in scoring the first goal against Young Bradley.

(You couldn't make this up, could you? eds)

Proud Councillor Anderson had more cause to chuckle when his lad's side easily ran out eventual 3-1 winners.

Any suggestion that MossPits are now looking for a new coach is entirely without substance. (But of course, the Lib Dems are, eds)

COST OF OPENING CEREMONY HITS £3MILLION - RINGO IS GOING TO HIT THE ROOF!

THE cost of the opening ceremony is spiralling out of control and has already touched £3million.

That's quite an achievement, since only four months ago the official estimate for the opening ceremony was just £1.3million.

So the cost has already more than doubled and appears to be well on course to treble.

The Culture Company is throwing money at both the event in the Arena and the open air event at St George's (for us plebs, eds) in a desperate attempt to avoid a massive CoC Up.

It will be interesting to see how the city council explains this lack of basic financial control and management when it goes cap in hand to the Government asking it to bail out CoC to the tune of £20million.

It is the outdoor public event which, predictably, is causing most concern.

One of the highlights (sic, eds) is Ringo standing on top of the roof of St George's Hall to wave to the swooning crowds below. (Pictured - waving, not falling, eds)

(And thereby promote his new album Liverpool 8, eds)

But old Ringo is getting on in years now and is apparently getting a bit dodgy on his pins.

He apparently doesn't fancy scrambling across the roof like a teenage cat burglar. Some alarm has been expressed in the Ringo camp at the fate which might befall him.

So all kinds of extra safety measures are now being introduced to try and persuade Mr Starkey that he will be pefectly safe in the hands of the Coc Up brigade.

(If he believes that, he's dafter than he looks, eds)

One of the biggest financial headaches is that the CoC Up brigade failed to hire all the massive plant equipment that is needed for a major outdoor event.

So now they are having to pay over the odds and virtually bribe plant firms to come to the rescue.

Amazingly some companies have told them to **** off, after earlier experiences with the dolts in charge.

Anyway it's clear now, reassuringly, that Ringo never forgot Liverpool 8.

But whether he will be able to find the time in a busy promotional schedule to visit some of the three bedroomed council houses in Liverpool 8 which have still not got central heating (this is the 21st century isn't it? eds) is another question.

The city council certainly appears to have forgotten Liverpool 8.

Quite how many new central heating systems £3million could buy is anyone's guess, of course.

Still, the tenants of Toxteth can always jig about in their front rooms while they listen to Murkeyside or City endlessly playing Ringo's latest album in a desperate effort to take it to No 1.

We're sure that will keep the whinging tenants warm enough.

DONALD BULLSHITTER RETURNS TODAY...

THERE will not be a warm welcome back today (Jan 3rd, 2008) for Donald Bullshitter who returns to the Fun Palace after two weeks holiday in the US of A.

'Acting' CEO Kris Donaldson, has been "out of the office'' since Monday 17 December.

Not bad in the run-up to one of the most important year's in the city's history, eh?

Bullshitter is paid £150,000 a year and has had an annual 10 per cent Performance Related Pay bonus since he was first appointed Marketing Director in 2004.

Which means he is now on more than £200,000 - and can still bugger off on a holiday just days before the Offical Launch of 2008.

He must be worth his weight in bull shit.

Sir Diddy Henshaw famously said of Bullshitter within weeks of his appointment that he 'would not pay him in washers'.

Amazingly Bullshitter has survived for the last four years despite his obvious incompetence - people are taken in by the American accent and think he must know what he is talking about.

Bullshitter will now be ready to tour every TV studio to get his face on our screens in 2008 - he is obsessed with self-publicity. And the simple hacks think his Stateside drawl shows Liverpool has gone all international.

In fact, it is Donaldson who is the mastermind behind the 'Look of the City' project, which the craven Echo publicised so dismally the other day.

This project involves covering up urban decay and council neglect with huge hoardings, so visitors think everything is hunky dory in Liverpool.

Part of this project also involves putting absolutely useless shite and drab hoardings in the windows of the boarded up houses on Edge Lane - well done Elisabeth Pascoe - as well as hanging even worse flags from the lamp posts.

Some of the crap flags have already been blown off, with the rest left tattered and torn by only mild winds.

Quite how much this lacklustre project has cost so far is anyone's guess and will be kept secret by the city council.

Interestingly, marketing staff at the Fun Palace who have been left holding the baby in Bullshitter's absence, have been told they can have all the holidays they want - but only in 2009.

Meanwhile a word of praise for one person - the NWDA's representative on earth in the Culture Company, one Bernice Law.

She has been working around the clock on the Official Launch to try and stop it becoming a total disaster.

By all accounts, she is not a bullshitter and has been trying her best against all the odds.

Clearly her boss NWDA Chairman Bryan Gray will have much to thank her for if she manages to pull it off.

There is another good thing to be said for her.

She has made it crystal clear to Fun Palace inmates that she has seen right through the Great White Hope - Our Saviour, Phil Redmond.

(Incidentally, perhaps we should re-christen him 'Our Lord' - since he is banking on a peerage in the next New Years Honour List, eds)

Bernice apparently finds Redmond an "insufferable, self-obsessed incompetent".

No news there of course.

But re-assuring that she has such good judgement.

'Our Lord' is meanwhile still wafting in and out of the Fun Palace, trying to hijack projects for his greater glory and to give the impression that he is in control.

Watch out for plenty more bollocks from him.

OH I SAY! WILL 'RANDY' NEWMAN BE NEXT????

WILL Paul 'Randy' Newman be next to leave the Culture Company?

We ask because of authoritative reports from within the London Olympic Team that the CoC's Director of Communications (sic) has been touting for a new job with them.

One of our informants has told us: "I suspect Paul Newman will resurface in an Olympic role very soon."

Newman has apparently been angling for an Olympic job (lots more athletically inclined women, apparently, eds) for the last year.

A few weeks ago another well-placed Olympics source revealed that Newman had been in touch and had said that Liverpool had been a big mistake.

Newman told his contact that he had wanted to work on the Olympics all along (obviously learnt a lot from Donald Bullshitter, eds)

He rings them every few months looking for an opening.

However, Newman also appears to be hedging his bets.

Another recruitment agency has been touting Newman (also known as Leslie, after the recently honoured Phillips below, eds) for a well-paid position with a Government agency!

This is all the more strange, since The Harbarrowboy used to regularly tell anyone who cared to listen that one of the things he liked about Newman was his commitment to move to Liverpool! (the cheek of these bastards, eds)

Which, of course, he has still failed to do (keeps him conveniently out of sight from his wife at least, eds)

Newman, you will recall, was the self-appointed guardian of public behaviour who decided to try and get Joe Riley the sack for dozing off at the Empire.

Newman, known as 'Lesley' for his wandering ways, 'Carry-on-leering' and lascivious 'well, heeeelllll-oooo' greetings to any new women, tried to deny his involvement by repeatedly telling a bare-faced porky.

THE THINGS THEY SAY.....

Liverpool 2008 Chief Executive appointed
The Executive Group of the Liverpool Culture Company Board today (Friday 24 March) announced the appointment of Jason Harborow as its Chief Executive.
36-year-old Mr Harborow has been the Culture Company's Chief Operating Officer for more than a year and will take up his new post from 1 April 2006.
Mr Harborow will be responsible for managing the delivery of a host of events and programmes between now and European Capital of Culture in 2008.
Welcoming Mr Harborow's appointment, Professor Drummond Bone, Chairman of the Liverpool Culture Company, said: "I'm very pleased that Jason has agreed to accept the unique challenges that go with this high-profile post. His strategic vision for the company alongside his proven ability to manage it on a day-to-day basis and his knowledge of the city will be a great advantage."
Cllr Warren Bradley, Leader of Liverpool City Council, said: "Jason has been instrumental in ensuring the Liverpool Culture Company is in the best possible position to maximise the opportunities 2008 represents. His ability to work with both the private and public sectors at all levels and his desire to succeed will be of immense benefit to the city for many years beyond 2008."
Jason Harborow said: "I'm delighted and honoured to accept this role. I'm particularly proud that we have such a good team in place for achieving the city's ambition of staging the best-ever European Capital of Culture. We're all firmly focused on delivering for Liverpool, the region and the UK."

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: FIREMAN BRADLEY IN SCROOGE SENSATION

Click on the link below to see Liverpool's very own Scrooge in action.

He has cost the people of Liverpool a multi-million pound fortune with all the pay-offs of public money he has handed out to the 'Fuck Up and Fuck Off' brigade.

Click on the link below.http://www.scroogeyourself.com/?id=1703932085

(From an original idea by Liverpool Confidential, eds)

LOOKING FOR AN INCOMPETENT, MONEY-GRABBING TOSS-POT TO ****-UP EVERYTHING, DISAPPEAR INTO THE SUN AND RUIN YOUR CITY'S BEST CHANCE FOR A GENERATION?

BELOW is Jason Harborow's CV.

The Harbarrowboy apparently drafted it earlier this year. But after he finally packed his bags for Mar Menor, he forgot that he had left it on his office computer in the Fun Palace.

Sharp-eyed readers will notice that Jase has left question marks against the number of his staff and budget. These were obviously irrelevant details.

We will leave you to make the appropriate comments in response to the bullshit and lies he tells.

And don't forget - this man fucked up so badly that he has left a £20million hole in the Capital of Culture budget. The Lib Dem city council has just paid him £250,000 as a reward.

ENJOY.

CURRICULUM VITAE

PERSONAL DETAILS

Name Jason A Harborow D.O.B. 12 February 1970

Address South Ridge
West Road
Prenton
Wirral
CH439RP
0151 678 8085/ 07715 487121

Jason.harborow@btopenworld.com

OVERALL PROFILE

I am a strong strategic thinker, organiser and Director with excellent experience, knowledge and success in commercial, marketing and operational management.

I have outstanding commercial management and negotiation skills and an attitude to deliver and succeed. I have proven budget and team management skills, able to motivate, enthuse and deliver a project with all key objectives achieved. An excellent communicator with a broad range of business skills, assertive and experienced, strategic in thought and strong in leadership and commitment.

A proven and successful track record in major events and a unique experience of management at senior level in the public and private sector.

CAREER PROFILE HIGHLIGHTS

Apr 2006 – Present Liverpool Culture Company
Chief Executive/Executive Director
Feb 2004 – Present Liverpool Culture Company
Chief Operating Officer

Responsible for the management and strategic Direction of the Liverpool Culture Company who are responsible for delivering the multi year programme of activity leading up to and beyond the European Capital of Culture Year in 2008. The organisation is responsible for all aspects of the programme including Tourism, Marketing, Event Management, Artistic Content, Communications, Income Generation, Creative Community Programme and Brand and re-positioning of the City. In the role I have full responsibility for relationships with all key stakeholders including Central Government and private sector partners, more details http://www.liverpool08.com/

Key achievements

Managing the start up of the business to multi- layered company with almost 100 employees
Re-structuring of company following departure of previous Chief Executive and Artistic Director
Directing launch of initial 2008 highlights to critical acclaim
Development and delivery of huge international events programme in all sectors
Developing Company Business Plan and Annual Delivery plan
Management of business with a annual turnover of at least £20million and 3 year spending profile of £95million
Securing commercial investment with 8 partners secured in first 12 months with at least £2million investment each
Secured 90% of the total budget required for the entire programme in the last 12 months.
Introduction of new City Brand and marketing, Public Relations, Public Affairs and communications strategy
Critically acclaimed speaker on marketing, commercial and cultural issues for major events. Keynote speeches presented at major international conferences
Management of Liverpool City Council Culture, Media and Sport Portfolio with a workforce of ? and budget of ?

Key skills

· Able to deliver results quickly and successfully.
· A clear understanding of all aspects of managing a business with the need for results.
· Strong strategic thinker and organiser to implement commercial and marketing strategy
· Excellent negotiation and presentation skills
· Excellent contract and legal awareness able to assess needs of clients and the organisation and creating positive partnerships

Sept 2002 – Feb 2004 RE:MEDIA PLC
Managing Director RE:ACTIV

Responsible for the management of all aspects of the RE:ACTIV company, one of three companies in the RE:MEDIA Group. The company is the UK s leading sports merchandise and licensing operator with contracts with some of the Uks and Europe’s largest sports brands. The company is also at the cutting edge of web commercialisation, brand development and implementation and ticketing marketing strategies.

Key achievements

Managing the start up of business to market leader in the industry in 11 months
Winning key National and International clients ranging from Aintree Grand National to European Champions League final, European Rugby Cup and Rugby Football League
Creating profitable business model
Establishing company as the number one provider of event and ecommerce merchandise solutions
Credited with changing g the approach to brand commercialisation through merchandise in sport.
Invited by Government agencies to visit West Indies to consult on WINDIES Cricket World Cup 2007.
Voted as a member of the top 42 under 42 young business people in the Northwest in 2003.

Key skills

· Able to deliver results quickly and successfully.
· A clear understanding of all aspects of managing a business with the need for results.
· Strong strategic thinker and organiser to implement commercial and marketing strategy
· Excellent negotiation and presentation skills
· Excellent contract and legal awareness
· Assessing needs of clients and the organisation and creating positive partnerships
· Good manager/team player


Jan 2001– Sept 2002 Manchester 2002 Ltd
Commercial General Manager 30 Direct Reports

Responsible for all commercial income generation for Manchester 2002 Commonwealth Games and PR and Marketing to support the commercial income activity.

Key achievements

· Securing and delivering dynamic brands in the form of sponsorship to the games
· Devising and implementing sales strategy for games income generation programme
· Introducing a cohesive and co-ordinated licensing programme and implementing a range with 500 products and 55 licensees
· Designing, developing and Managing the Uk’s largest ever-ticketed sports event. Achieving income target within 2 months, Sold 90% (900,000) of tickets setting new world record
· Creating and directing a national marketing and PR campaign for the Games ticketing Programme
· Working with key stakeholders to achieve results.
· Engaging and managing key Icons for the games – Ian Thorpe, Jonah Lomu, Denise Lewis, Jason Queally, etc.
· Appointed Games spokesman for official statements to press, radio and TV

Key skills

· Strong strategic thinker and organiser to implement commercial and marketing strategy
· Excellent negotiation and presentation skills
· Excellent contract and legal awareness
· Assessing needs of clients and the organisation and creating positive partnerships
· Good manager/team player

May 1999 – Dec 2000 Rugby Football League
Operations Director 30 Direct Reports

Responsible for the operational and logistical management of the Rugby League World Cup involving 16 senior nations and 6 emerging nations. Responsible for generating commercial income and marketing and PR programme.

Key achievements

· Delivered 40 games in 5 countries at 33 different venues over 3 tournaments
· Record commercial income, through sponsorship, and record attendances
· Media strategy that delivered a strong and consistent message

Key skills

· Planning and organisational skills
· Attention to detail in all areas
· Working to tight deadlines
· Keeping focussed on objectives and financial constraints


March 1998 – May 1999 JJB Sports
Stadium Director/General Manager 50 Direct Reports

Responsible for the development and project management of the JJB Stadium, JJB Soccer Centres and the JJB Health Clubs and hotel groups

Key achievements

· Completion of all sites on time and within budget
· Implementation of all operational procedures
· Implementation of marketing and PR plan
· Delivering key commercial partners and sponsorship

Key skills

· Strong performance management under tight deadlines
· Clarity in decision making
· Excellent communicator
· Financial management
· Workforce motivation and management

Jan 1987 – March 1998 Local Authorities
Various positions Various Direct Reports

Responsible for all aspects of leisure management issues including key management posts at two of the UK’s premier leisure facilities.

Key achievements

· Rapid career progression
· UK Leisure Manager of the Year 1996
· ISRM President 1998
· Development of the North West’s largest multi-sport venue
· Excellent commercial results
· Organisation and management of many national and international events

Key skills

· Commitment and enthusiasm
· Strong performance management under tight deadlines
· Clarity in decision making
· Excellent communicator
· Financial management
· Workforce motivation and management

CAREER HISTORY – Local Authority

EMPLOYER
DATES
POST HELD
Chorley BC
Jan 1987 –April 1992
Asst. Mgr/Comm. Officer
Leisure Officer Contract Management
Wigan MBC
April 1992 –May 1995
Contracts Manager/
Leisure Operations Manager
Wirral MBC
May 1995 – Jan 1997
General Manager – Europa Pools
Wigan MBC
Jan 1997 – March 1998
Robin Park Sports Centre General Manager


EDUCATION

Euxton Church of England Primary School Sept 1974 – July 1981
St Michael’s High School, Chorley Sept 1981 – July 1986

QUALIFICATIONS

11 “O” levels

FURTHER EDUCATION

Runshaw Tertiary College Sept 1986 – March 1987
Blackburn College (part-time) Sept 1988 – June 1989
Lancashire College of Agriculture &
Horticulture (part-time) Sept 1990 – July 1992

PROFESSIONAL QUALIFICATIONS

Diploma in Leisure Management
Institute of Leisure and Amenity Management Certificate
Institute of Leisure and Amenity Management Diploma
National Examining Board of Supervisory Management, Certificate in Leisure and Recreation (NEBSM)
BTEC Continuing Education Certificate in Sport and Recreation Management


MEMBERSHIP OF PROFESSIONAL INSTITUTES/ORGANISATIONS/ BOARD POSITIONS

Institute of Leisure and Amenity Management – Full qualified Diploma member – MILAM (DIP)
Institute of Sports and Recreational Management – Full member – M.Inst.SRM
Member – Deputy Prime Ministers 2007 Bicentenary Advisory Group on the Abolition of the Slave Trade
Member – The National Culture and Creativity Advisory Forum to London 2012 Olympics Games
Board Member – The Mersey Partnership Tourism Board
Board Member – The North West Tourism Forum
Board Member – Liverpool Culture Company
Board Member – The North West Development Agency Major Events Group
Member – North West Steering Group for the 2012 Olympic Games
Member of ISRM Northern Executive Board (President in 1998-1999)
Board member of Rugby League International Federation (1998 – 2001)


HOBBIES AND INTERESTS

I have a very keen interest in sport and culture; I enjoy watching live sport and experiencing major sports events.
.
I have been very fortunate to pursue my hobby, broadcasting, working on local, regional and national radio and TV as a presenter and producer.

I enjoy power boating and when time permits I enjoy lazy weekends on the Mar Menor in Spain!

My family are very important to me and I enjoy spending time with my wife and daughter

FURTHER DETAILS

If you require references or any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me.

SHOCK EXCLUSIVE: THE BARROWBOY, JASON ORANGE, TRUNDLES BACK TO THE HACIENDA

THE Harbarrowboy has returned to his hammock in the hacienda for the festive season - after his brief 'keeping up appearances' return to the Fun Palace.

Jase's invisible man act has, remarkably, failed to stir even a second of interest from his former staff in the Culture Company.

He has not been seen since he popped in for half an hour to show his incredibly orange face.

Staff are all too busy trying to get the show on the road to be arsed about their former £150,000-a-year chief executive returning to Spain for another jolly.

No one cares what happens to him - if anything few appear to have even noticed his absence. (It's hardly as if the Culture Company has suddenly lurched from crisis to crisis since he disappeared post the Mathew Street debacle, is it? eds)

Typists in the Municipal Building who threatened to strike have now been re-assured by Cover Up that Jason Orange will too busy topping up his tan in the future to bother them.

(We've made this last bit up and included it anyway, cos it made us laugh out loud, eds)

So what is likely to happen now?

We have opened a special book on it:

1) Jase could return to a hero's welcome for the opening ceremony on January 11/12th.

(Unthinkable, eds)

2) Jase could turn russet brown.

(Highly likely, eds)

3) Jase could become a Continental cultural consultant and go around Europe conning Eastern Europe into taking him seriously.

(Possible, eds)

4) Jase could bring a barrow to Wimbledon next year, selling strawberries to go with his Spanish ice cream.

(Too obvious, eds)

5) Jase could stay on the sick for the entire duration of 2008 and pocket £150,000 a year, plus Performance Related Pay, for doing precisely fuck all.

(This would be no different from previous years, so we are ruling it out completely, eds)

6) Jase could sue the council for constructive dismissal and with his massive compensation award, buy a holiday home for the foolish Fireman in the Canaries as a gesture of gratitude.

(Even money on this, eds)

7) Jase could retire with a minimum two years salary (more than £300,000, plus Performace Related Pay, tax-free, eds) as the city council give him a bumper pay-off just to see the back of him while the foolish Fireman begs the local media to: "Move On/Forget About My Disastrous Blunders".

(Hot favourite, eds)

8) Jase sets up a consultancy with Sir Diddy, Robbing Archer, Chris Green and Kevin Johnston who have all taken huge pay-offs from the council, and laugh all the way to the bank at how they have ripped off the council tax payers of Liverpool for more than £1million.

(A dead cert, eds)

SHOCK EXCLUSIVE: WHAT IS THE COST OF THE OPENING EVENT?

SO FAR, the launch event for Liverpool Capital of Culture 2008, has cost a cool £1.3million.
Now how many council house repairs, or jobs for unemployed Liverpool lads, or extra bobbies on the beat, could that pay for?

More follows soon.....

OPENING CEREMONY 'ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN', BUT NO ONE TO BLAME SHOCK

Is the opening ceremony an accident waiting to happen?

That is the question facing safety experts as the wheels start to fall off the Harbarrowboy's launch vehicle.

There is now a mood of barely concealed panic in the Fun Palace as the realisation dawns that the Culture Company is just not equipped to stage such a major outdoor event.

Having lost Lee Forde through incompetence, staff are now being stretched to the limit by the huge number of extra events being planned for 2008.

Added to that is the mind-boggling ineptitude of some of the plans - for example, the launch event is due to feature acrobats abseiling and throwing themselves off the roof of St George's Hall while Ringo waves to the breathless millions (shouldn't that be minions? eds)below.

The Echo has of course conspired in this utter lunacy by making a public appeal for acrobatic volunteers - local nutters who fancy a bit of sky-diving and 15 seconds of fame (the amount of time it takes to fall from the roof to the pavement below and then expire on the ground after waving weakly to the CBS camera crews, eds).

Do you think if some poor imbecile gets hurt in this insanity, that the Echo will splash the next day on "'We are to blame' - admits shame-faced Editor"?

Will they bollocks.

They will wash their hands of responsibility like any other person who holds power in Liverpool.

But they have been thoroughly irresponsible dupes of the crackpots in charge of the Culture Company who think any Tom, Dick or Harry can happily abseil down the front of St George's hall without any proper training.

This is not Health and Safety political correctness gone mad.

This is about properly established procedures to keep people safe.

And God knows. in the city that suffered Heysel and Hillsborough. you would have thought some lessons had been learned about public safety.

Wouldn't you?

But no.

Aside from these very obvious safety concerns, there are major issues around public liability insurance, policing, crowd control - how many people are going to turn up expecting to get a personal audience with Ringo? - and damage and disruption caused to St George's and other historic buildings which will also have rooftop displays.

The astronomical cost is escalating by the minute - no official figures of course - and people are, literally, running around the Fun Palace like headless chickens trying to make it all stack up.

The NWDA's representative on earth, Bernice Law has now taken to calling 7.30 am emergency meetings to try and get a grip on things and turn it around.

But the clock is ticking and the pressure is mounting.

Particularly when the Culture Company proudly boast that CBS will be turning up to see Ringo live. (Or should that be live? eds)

Hopefully he won't have to step over any prone bodies on his way to the interview van.

Expect to see whole parts of the opening ceremony suddenly junked for no apparent reason and without explanation.

Meanwhile the architects behind this accident waiting to happen - Donald Bullshitter and Clare McCogloose amongst others - will evade all responsibility.

Just like the fine example set by Fireman Bradley.

After all, they have only had the last four years to plan this event. It has hardly come as a sudden shock, has it?

Some poor bugger in the events team will probably get all the blame, instead. As is the Liverpool Way.

But we issue this warning now.

If one single person - either a participant or spectator - is seriously injured during this opening ceremony or any other CoC event, we will make sure that, this time, the finger is pointed at very firmly at those responsible.

And we will not let you bastards get away with it.

We just hope we are proved wrong.

THE ICE CREAM MAN COMETH AND GOETH...AND HAS SOME FILING TO GET ON WITH....

What are we to make of the Harbarrowboy's continuing absence from the Fun Palace?

Since he popped in at 1pm last Tuesday for a few hours, he appears to have gone to ground again.

The £150,000 a year (plus PRP) chief executive has not been seen since.

So where can he be?

(In his hammock in the hacienda again? eds)

Culture Company staff have been left scratching their heads at the semi-invisible man's re-appearance and then dis-appearance again.

Is Jase now spending all his time around at the Fireman's gaffe, chatting to the parakeet?

Perhaps.

But maybe a comment from Bryan Gray, Chair of the North West Development Agency sheds more light on the Harbarrowboy's whereabouts.

Gray, who has virtually taken over responsibility for the Culture Company, has said of Jase:

"He's the city council's problem now - not ours anymore. We have no further use for him."
So, putting the ball back firmly in the court of the council, for whom Jase is Executive Director for Culture, is a rather neat trick to off-load any responsibility for the Barrowboy.

It also accounts for Jases's on-off absence from the Fun Palace.

Rumour has it that Cover Up has found him a place in the typing pool on the top floor of the Municipal Buildings and is next week supposed to be sorting him out with some typing and photocopying to keep him busy.

(Which probably means the city council is going to start sending out poll tax letters to dead people again, eds)

THE RETURN OF THE HARBARROWBOY: The ice-cream man cometh....

UPDATE: 1.07 PM.

HE'S BACK!

THE ICE-CREAM MAN SLIPPED INTO THE FUN PALACE JUST AFTER 1 CLOCK TODAY.

ONE BY-STANDER TAKES UP THE STORY:

"YOU COULD HAVE HEARD A PIN DROP, HE JUST WANDERED INTO HIS OFFICE. THE BULLSHITER WAS NOT SITTING THERE, OTHERWISE THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN UNPLEASANT SCENE.

"IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT NOBODY EXPECTED HIM TO TURN UP, THE BULLSHITTER AND HIS GANG OF INCOMPETENTS WERE IN ANOTHER MEETING IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM.

"JASE WANDERED ABOUT A BIT, SCRATCHED HIS HEAD AND THEN WALKED OUT AGAIN TO THE CONFEENCE ROOM. IT WAS REALLY STRANGE.

"HE LOOKS JUST LIKE A TOBY JUG - HE HAS GOT EVEN FATTER. AND HIS SKIN IS A RIDICULOUS SHADE OF ORANGE."

FOR THE NEXT EXCITING INSTALMENT, STAY POSTED....

THE RETURN OF THE HARROWBOY: STILL NO SIGN OF JASE...

UPDATE: 12.20

Still no sign of the Harbarrowboy anywhere in the Fun Palace. The expectant air has now gone, the nervous giggling has ceased (that was Donald Bullshitter, eds), the sense of expectancy in thr typing pool all but vanished. Even Clare McCogloose has stopped blathering on about 'it will all be fine when Jase comes back."

Perhaps he is now negotiating with Brian Gray, from the NWDA, instead? Or talking to his solicitor? There must be a solution to this.....?????????

THE RETURN OF THE HARBARROWBOY: JASE STILL NOT SPOTTED IN FUN PALACE, SHOCK

10.15 am.........

HARBARROWBOY LATEST: Jase has still not been spotted behind his desk in the Fun Palace. Perhaps he is still talking to CoverUp?

MATHEW ST SENSATION: COVERUP COMES CLEAN - BRADLEY LIED THREE TIMES (AND THEN THE COCK CROWED)

WHAT a turn-up that was folks!

Colin CoverUp has come clean in this morning's Daily Post - and dumped the fibbing Fireman in a huge pile of shit.

CoverUp has revealed that, in fact, Fireman Bradley never told him about his secret meeting with Mathew St scapegoat Lee Forde.

This was what the Fireman first told the papers on Saturday:

"He (Bradley) said he raised the issues with the council chief executive, Colin Hilton, and senior Culture Company staff in the “first couple of days after the meeting”.

But this was what Hilton wrote to Joe Anderson today:

"I can confirm that I was totally unaware that Lee Forde had met with Cllr Bradley and Cllr Storey, let alone any of the information contained in the account of that meeting set out in the dossier."

So that was the THIRD lie told by Bradley, who has now demonstrated that he is totally unfit to govern.

At which point the cock crowed...

The SECOND lie was when Bradley claimed Lee Forde had first texted him to instigate the secret Wavertree-gate meeting.

But Forde's mobile phone bill reveals that he texted Bradley an hour after the Fireman had first sent him a flurry of emails asking for a meeting.

The FIRST lie was when the fibbing Fireman first denied even having a meeting! That was just so contemptible a lie that we won't even bother proving it. (Read the earlier posts instead, eds)

So where are we now? (Waiting for the Fireman to walk the plank? eds)

Yes.

Clearly CoverUp has now had enough of the Fireman and has completely washed his hands of him.

His letter was an astonishing example of a chief executive putting the boot in and then very publicly distancing himself from the Leader.

That was the bureaucratic coup de grace - now we must wait patiently for the political knives to be buried in Bradley's back.

CoverUp realised that if he did not properly handle the Lib Dem Leader's role in this disgraceful plot, he would himself become embroiled in the conspiracy.

So after letting off the hook his former colleagues in the evil cabal - to Hilton's eternal shame - he has finally decided to come clean.

(Although, he's still not to be trusted, eds)

There is also no doubt that Hasitall and the Rottweiller are loving all this. So be it.

The only hope we have that those scum will ever be properly dealt with, is if there is a complete change in Town Hall administration.

The Lib Dems have proved they are unfit to govern. It's time for a change.

PS The Harbarrowboy is due back in the Fun Palace tomorrow morning 123 days after the Fireman demanded his head - Jase may actually turn up, bold as the brass medallion around his neck, with no hint of a blush under his perma-tan.

Sadly, Jase will have missed the chance to make a fast buck at tonight's Royal Variety Show, where he could have tried to sell some of his Spanish ice creams to 'Gentleman Joe' Anderson and the Fireman, who were, amazingly, due to spend the evening sitting side by side.

Will keep you posted on Jase's progress tomorrow (he won't last long, eds) and the polite chatter that no doubt passed between Bradley and Joe.

HM The Queen (to Bradley)......"And what do you do, young man?"

Bradley (to HM)...."Lie through my fucking teeth, your Maj"

LIAR, LIAR - BRADLEY'S ON FIRE!!!!

THE story so far....

Council leader Warren 'I'm only a fireman' Bradley has LIED twice about his clandestine meeting with scapegoated Lee Forde.

The fibbing Fireman lied ONCE when he first told the Daily Post that he had not met Mr Forde, just two days after smearing his reputation and good character with the publication of the now discredited Mathew St report.

The fibbing Fireman was then forced to admit that the secret meeting had actually taken place after all, when he was confronted with a huge amount of detail about the meeting - even down to the colour of Bradley's three piece suite, the type of beer supplied (Peroni, eds) and the parakeet in the front room of his home in Wavertree ('whose a silly boy then Warren? eds)

The fibbing Fireman lied a SECOND time when, in a foolish attempt to hide his plotting, he told the Daily Post that Mr Forde had first texted him to arrange a meeting.

This was of course utter bollocks - and Mr Forde has the evidence to prove it.

The fibbing Fireman emailed Mr Forde at 13.49 on November 17th desperately asking for a meeting to discuss 'next steps'. (Bradley has so far failed to deny emailing Mr Forde, eds. )

An examination of Mr Forde's mobile phone bill reveals that Mr Forde first texted the Fireman an hour after those emails were sent.

So it was the fibbing Fireman who initiated the secret meeting with his flurry of emails - not Mr Forde.

No doubt Mr Forde will he happy to supply his mobile phone records to the Standards Board to assist them in their enquiries into the fibbing Fireman's activities.

The only question that remains is this...

Has the Fireman fibbed a THIRD time?

Bradley claimed that he had notified chief executive Colin CoverUp of his secret meeting with Mr Forde 'in the first couple of days after'.

(So CoverUp was part of the same conspiracy then, was he? And what action, if any, did CoverUp take about the Leader of the Council secretly meeting a former employee, Mr Forde, who is currently suing the council for constructive dismissal? This is all highly irregular...)

It remains to be seen now what light CoverUp can shed on the Fireman's claim - and whether CoverUp is now prepared to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help him God.

Why does any of this matter? (We were wondering that, eds)

Because it shows that Liverpool is being led by a politician who will happily lie to the media - and therefore to the people of Liverpool - in a desperate attempt to save his own skin.

And that he will also attempt to again trash the repuation of an innocent man in the process.

We are not sure what CoverUp is going to say, if anything.

We are not sure either how the meeja feels about a politician who lies to them.

But we are absolutely certain what the people of Liverpool's verdict will be if it is shown that Bradley has lied THREE TIMES.

Students of American politics (that's us, eds) who have examined the Watergate affair, will tell you that it was the attempted cover-up and not the crime that finally did for Richard Milhouse Nixon.

And so it may yet prove in 'Wavertree-gate'.