Saturday, February 23, 2008

AS THE COST OF THE MACCA CONCERT CLIMBS ABOVE £7.5MILLION, WE BRING YOU JASE'S SALTHOUSE DOCK SCHEME.....


While we're on the subject of the Harbarrowboy....
Below is his back of an envelope Briefing Report on the ill-fated plan to stage the McCartney Concert in Salthouse Dock (remember? the one where the Culture Company were going to stun all the fish and put them in a giant goldfish bowl, eds?).
While the amount of bullshit in the report below is truly astounding, it is worth reading all the way through.
From what we hear it will give you a full insight into the preparations now underway and the spiralling cost of the Macca concert at Anfield.
And it will help you to fully appreciate the gob-smacking stupidity of the people at the city council who are still in charge.
Particularly worthy of your attention - as the bankrupt city council now wrestles with a £60million hole - is the 'back of an envelope budget' that £150,000-a-year Jase has drawn up.
Thrill to some of the completely fictitious estimates he has made for revenue!
How many of these are going to come true for the Macca concert at Anfield eh? Eh? Eh?
We will not mention the totally unsubstantiated figures for estimated costs which Jase appears to have pulled completely out of thin air for the entertainment of CoverUp and his cabal.
They were so obviously and woefully short of the mark that the Salthouse Dock plan had to be scrapped six months later.
However, we learn that the McCartney concert is already costing the city council £7.5 million - but is likely to hit double figures before long.
We shall be returning to this subject in the very near future.
In the meantime, read the Harbarrowboy's report and weep - it will certainly give you little confidence in Jase and his Associates if you have been stupid enough to become one of his new clients....

BRIEFING NOTE
TO: Executive Management Team
SUBJECT: Liverpool Sound Music Event
DATE: 20 March 2007
OFFICER CONTACT: Jason Harborow
Purpose
The purpose of this paper is to provide the EMT with background on The Liverpool Sound music event and gain endorsement of the strategic direction.
Background
a) The Event Overview
The Liverpool Sound will be a unique once in a lifetime festival to celebrate Liverpool’s global status as The World Capital of Pop, featuring events all around the city. The climax will be a spectacular concert broadcast to the world on bank holiday Monday, 26 May 2008. This concert will have a unique atmosphere as a live broadcast, in a world heritage setting. A surprising show with world famous contemporary stars who can talk of how the Liverpool music scene inspired them and their music and how that music has travelled around the world and come back home to be redefined in the place it was born. An international concert, world-class musicians, funny and famous hosts and a fantastic waterside location, all add up to a never to be forgotten moment in time. Where better to celebrate the sound of Liverpool – than in a place from where the city began. Salthouse Dock will become the biggest temporary stage and seating structure this country has ever seen seating over 25,000 people and giving the illusion that both artists and audience are floating on the pool that is Liverpool. The city itself becomes the frame for the stage. Behind the Liver Building, to the side the World Heritage site of the Albert Dock and from the stage a panoramic view of the City Cathedrals and the brand new centre.Less than a hundred years ago most of Europe travelled through Liverpool to get to America indeed nearly a third of all Americans can trace their family’s journey back to this port. From its origins as a slave trade port, the exotic was always part of the fabric of the city. As one of the first multicultural cities in the country the unique acceptance of the different in Liverpool meant that when “The Beatles” stepped off the plane in America and proudly talked about specific “Black” songs that inspired them it was a crucial paradigm shift for the way that Black music was perceived in America. If Liverpool loved this music then so could all of America. The musical links between Liverpool and America are incredibly strong and this concert will be an international demonstration of how this city has been one of the biggest influences in the world of popular music over the last 50 years.
b) BBC Engagement
The BBC is fully supportive of the event and are intending to provide 2½ hours of live coverage on BBC1 on 26 May, 2008 (May Bank Holiday). Radio TWO are planning to spend a week in the city and Radio ONE are also very interested and are researching the John Peel links that could provide special programming for them.
c) Artists
The key Liverpool artist (Macca, ed) is committed to the project and is providing personal support in the approach of key international and UK artists. A preferred participant list has been developed (with a priority shortlist) and approaches are currently being made. This process will take several months and there will certainly be additions and changes as the process unfolds. Booking artists of global stature always takes time and the key to this event being successful is the element of surprise and excitement when the line up is finally announced. A carefully executed PR plan for creating a real demand for ticket sales is vital and any supposition prior to the chosen dates could put in jeopardy all artist negotiations that have to happen behind the scenes.
d) Location
Following a review of all potential locations in Liverpool it was determined that Salthouse Dock would be the perfect option given that it is an iconic location in the heart of the World Heritage site and that it will provide an unparalleled, spectacular backdrop to television that will be beamed nationally and internationally. In one single camera sweep you can tell the story of the city. It is a unique skyline that can only be Liverpool. Music concerts are great for the international broadcast market, but to stand out from the crowd you need a great line up, a great atmosphere and a unique never to be repeated occasion. The Liverpool Sound ticks every box.The proposal is that both the concert stage and the spectator seats will be placed within Salthouse Dock which will give the impression that both are floating on the water. This will help create spectacular television and will showcase Liverpool’s waterfront.
Much work has already been done with dock stakeholders and consultants and it has been confirmed that these plans are feasible both from an engineering and dock operation perspective. We are still to finalise the formal license agreement with GSE and we expect that within the next few months.
e) Location Contingency
We have identified an alternative location (Queen’s Dock) as a contingency. This area was originally selected by Barrie Marshall as an alternative location for PM’s concert in 2003 when there were issues with King’s Dock. Plans and costs are currently being explored.
f) Additional Concert
We are currently planning that there will be a concert on during the weekend just prior to the key event. The purpose of this event will be to provide the BBC with a rehearsal evening at the venue, provide an opportunity for key international and Liverpool artists to perform at Salthouse, give more people a chance to experience a concert at the venue and provide another revenue stream to help offset the costs of creating the Salthouse Dock venue.
g) Music Festival
Given that a number of international artists will be coming to Liverpool some time in advance of the Monday concert, there is a unique opportunity to showcase these and other key artists across the venues of Liverpool in the week leading up to the concert. Initial discussions with television and radio broadcasters have also been very positive regarding their interest in these pre-concert gigs.
h) Event Charitable Structure
To gain participation of some of the world’s greatest artists in this event, it is important that we create a charitable dimension to the project so that the artists are compelled to perform for the cause as well as the uniqueness and profile of the event. Discussions have already been held with both LIPA and Nordoff Robbins (a global music charity that is widely supported by the global music industry) and they have confirmed their support of the event.We will be working with them further to identify the nature of the support and how we can collectively create a legacy for Liverpool and the UK. They also have realistic expectations on the scale of any potential support given the anticipated costs of staging the event. They are also very excited about the potential from national and international exposure.Whilst we are budgeting for a slight surplus on this event with the expectations that an element of this will go to the charities, we have budgeteda guaranteed commitment to the charities, which will both are important to the artists and the media. This is included in the budget outlined below.
i) Company Structure
We are currently exploring with Hill Dickinson the best strategy for the structure of the entity that will both manage the key elements of the event as well as provide a charitable dimension to the overall structure. The current thinking is that a trading arm be established with surplus revenue following all identified expenses transferred to the charitable entity for distribution with agreed protocols.
j) Procurement
The procurement process recommended by the LCC Procurement team will treat the events as four distinctly separate areas:
• Auditorium Construction (Salthouse Dock)• Event and Technical Production• TV Productions and Artist Management• Venue Management
The Auditorium Construction would be a capital expenditure.
The Event and Technical Production will involve all elements of the event production including all associated equipment costs and staffing.
TV Production and Artist Management will consist of all equipment and staff costs for the production of the broadcast in all of its forms (live transmission, webcasting, CD and DVD) as well as all associated costs for the artists involved.
The Venue Management will involve all peripheral costs (staff, barriers, fencing, facilities including toilets) for both the Salthouse Dock event and any other activity across the city.
k) Key Staff
It is important to note that key staff will be required for this event to support the Culture Company team and this has been included in the outlined budget. These include:
• Executive Producer: This person has been in place for approximately 9 months, has already played a major role in developing this event. This person will be focused during the actual event primarily on the television and other broadcast production liaising with the BBC and other international broadcasters.(we shall return to this person soon, eds)
• Event Producer: This person will manage the staging of the event and all technical elements
• Musical Director: This person will be responsible for all the musical elements of the event including working with the Liverpool RoyalPhilharmonic Orchestra and other music partners in Liverpool
• Auditorium Construction: This company will lead the construction of the stage and seating within the Salthouse Dock
• Venue Management: This will be undertaken by the Culture Company Events Team
• Concert and Festival Promotion: We will be shortly inviting interested companies to support us with the promotion of both concerts (with a clear focus on the May Bank Holiday) as well as the Festival leading up to the weekendl)
Launch and Promotional Support
The current plan is that the event will be publicly launched at the end of September by the significant Liverpool artist. (Macca, eds) Given that the opportunities to purchase tickets will be limited (capacity of 25,000) this launch will include a call-to-action for all those who are interested in purchasing tickets to register via the Liverpool.08 website where their details will be captured and a lottery will be conducted with those individuals then contacted to purchase tickets. This has been the normal process for both the Olympic and Commonwealth Games’ Opening Ceremonies as well as recently for Glastonbury. Prior to any lottery, allocations will be made to ensure that a significant percentage of the tickets are available to local people. This process will be developed further and will need LCC endorsement of the strategy.The launch will receive significant global and national coverage and will provide a perfect platform to build awareness of Liverpool 08. A national marketing effort will also be required to support the launch to help maximise the response.
To begin preparing the ground for this launch we are planning for the ’08 website to have a World Capital of Pop page that will play selected Liverpool Songs and this page can then be used to get chat room discussions going on the songs that best sum up the spirit of the city. This is a great opportunity to involve everyone in the city in a discussion about what makes the city unique and why it is the World Capital of Pop.
From September, alongside the ticket launch, each month the 08 site will list a top ten from well known Liverpool faces e.g. Steven Gerrard, Daniel Craig, Anne Robinson, Johnny Vegas etc to build further excitement and interest. These contact details captured will provide a critical foundation for future national marketing efforts to encourage people to take part in 08 and come to Liverpool. It is anticipated that the launch and accompanying marketing effort could result in hundreds of thousands of enquiries.The Festival will also require its own marketing and PR effort, which will be developed following the initial launch
The Liverpool Sound Concert tickets (in some cases including accommodation and transport) will play a crucial role in encouraging ongoingmedia partner support and will be another catalyst to build further awareness and interest for Liverpool 08 and the 08 Programme Highlights.
The Business Plan
Event Revenue Estimates
These represent initial estimates of revenue and should be considered to be at the conservative end of the spectrum:
• Ticketing revenue: Anticipated revenue from two concerts with an average ticket price of £50 (this assumption has been supported by leading concert Promoters) £2.5 M
• Hospitality/concessions revenue: £ 0.25 M
• Merchandise/other: £ 0.15 M
• Global Television Rights. In addition to live BBC1Coverage, The Queen’s Jubilee Concert was able to secure sales of the global television rights. This was also a multi-artist event and The Liverpool Sound may have a more recognisable theme for international sales. The longest running radio programme in the US has been “Breakfast with the Beatles”. £1.25 M
• Event DVD: £1.0 M
• Local Broadcaster Support: Anticipated cost recovery from BBC £ 0.85 M
• Texting revenue: subject to securing a mobile telephone partner and protecting the rights of current CoC partners, there is a possibility of revenue from texting during the ticketing phase as well during the event £.0.25 M
• Additional sponsorship: subject again to protecting Current CoC partners, there is an opportunity to offset some production costs (eg travel, accommodation etc). Similar sponsorship was secured for the Queen’s Jubilee Concert and significant interest has already been received from companies who do not conflict with current CoC Commercial Partners £1.5 M
Total Estimated Revenue £ 7.75 M

Event Cost Estimates
The team consulting on this project have, between them, worked on numerous global television events of a similar stature (e.g. Live 8, Party at the Palace, The Prince’s Trust, Nelson Mandela 46664 Concerts from South Africa and The Grammies.) This expertise and experience is also backed with the engineering skills to manage specific aquatic concerts. With this detailed background knowledge of what it takes to create a global television event, we anticipate the event budget to consist of the following:
• Auditorium Construction £ 1.55 M
• Television Production and Artist Management £ 2.45 M
• Event and Technical Production £ 1.25 M
• Venue Management £ 0.85 M
• Marketing costs: Campaign to support PR efforts £ 0.3 M
• Charity Commitments £ 0.3 M
• Contingency £ 0.66 M
Total Estimated Costs £ 7.36 M
Total Estimated Surplus £ 0.39 M

Thursday, February 21, 2008

'JASE HAS PROVIDED SOME EYE-OPENING RESULTS.....' YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN!

THE LATEST UPDATE ON THE HARBARROWBOY....

Jase, who according to an anonymous whistle-blower knows all about the Fireman's Freebie, has meanwhile moved into new offices at the Corn Exchange.
He has also unveiled a web site for Harborow Associates, complete with details of his Spanish address - which he shares with one of his business partners, Roz Hughes.
Below is an extract from the site, if you can't be arsed looking.
Needless to say it is full of the most self-important bollocks that you will ever have the misfortune to read.
Together with the ugliest prose, including schoolboy spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.
Eeeeh bah gum.

Harborow Associates was established at the beginning of 2008. A team of world-class professionals have been pulled together to offer a range of services specialising in sport, leisure, tourism, events and culture for the public and private sector. Jason and his team have a unique range of experience in the sector areas and have consistently provided eye-opening results on a range of different projects and campaigns. Our team have a track record second to none and results proven over time.

Monday, February 18, 2008

FANCY A DAY AT THE RACES? SUITS YOU, SIR JASE!


WE interrupt our hunt for Sheriff Bradley, the cowboy Fireman, to bring you exciting news of his bete noire - Jase the Harbarrowboy.

Seems Jase is still hanging around these here parts (quit the cowboy talk, we've moved on to another subject, eds) and has got himself a nice sinecure in Chester.

Jase is working for a £15,000 project fee for his old mucker Chris Brown, former Head of Marketing at The Mersey Partnership.

Jase is 'developing some event ideas' for Chester Racecourse for Brown who is boss of Visit Chester.

So we can now look forward to Chas Cole also being invited along shortly to see if he can attract any old 80's rock bands along to play at Chester racecourse.

As long as Phil and Chris can each wangle a gig for their lads, should be no problem.

Failing that Jase will no doubt suggest some mad rugby playing idea which can involve his many rough and tough mates.

Also look forward to some bizarre crackpot idea like those huge US trucks being brought along to churn up the racecourse and jump over 20 blondes (supplied by the Rotteweiller of course, eds)which have been laid head to toe along the length of the final furlong.

Or fierce ceremonial battles being staged down the home straight between Roman centurions and the invading barbarian hordes (voters from Liverpool, eds).

PS we couldn't resist including this advert that Jason has now sponsored for some posh suit makers in Liverpool. Follow the link, or read below... SUITS FROM JUST £695 TO £1,500!

Why Choose GUI?
Total convenience to suit you
GUI Couture represents the ultimate in convenience for busy business men and women. We will arrange a consultation for you at your office or home, or our fitting studio in Liverpool city centre. We make ourselves available to suit you, and will happily arrange appointments during weekends and evenings.
Premium quality from the fabrics to the finishing
Our range of fabrics is astounding, from pure new wool and cashmere to special blends incorporating Lycra for extra fit and comfort.
Quality is paramount in our entire offering from fabrics to finishing, and everything in between. Whether you select our basic Essential service, or our exclusive Platinum experience, GUI Couture never compromises on the quality of service or care received by our customers.
Looking great, every day
Ever dreamt of having your own style consultant? Now you can. Our experts will help you understand what suits you and why, and GUIde your choice to ensure you look great in everything you wear. For special occasions they will assist in designing a totally unique outfit so that you stand out from the crowd.
For organisations with teams of front line staff where initial impressions are everything, GUI Couture offers a specialist Corporate Image Consultancy Service, to ensure you get the best response from your customers every time.
Loose on the waist, tight on hips?
Do you know anyone who fits off-the-peg clothing? Most of us will be larger or smaller in the waist, back, shoulders or thighs, and longer or shorter in the arms and legs than the so called ‘norm’. Even people with the same measurements will have a different body shape, stance and stature, and GUI Couture will solve these problems of fit by ensuring each of our customers is professionally measured to create a garment designed to give you the ideal fit.
Feeling great from the minute you step out the door
Research has shown that successful people feel good about their presentation and image. Whether your job involves important meetings, sales pitches or interviews, GUI Couture can help you feel and appear more confident, boosting your potential. We will dress you for success, boosting self esteem and enhancing personal pride.
“I am delighted with the suit Guy tailored for me. It is a perfect fit and is everything I wanted it to be; well styled, individual, unique to me. The service Guy provides is first class."
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WE couldn't make it up....

Thursday, February 14, 2008

LATEST SIGHTING: COWBOY SPOTTED IN MATHEW STREET?

Tony's

I snapped this long-haired bloke wondering up and down Mathew Street in the wee small hours of the morning, obviously the worse for wear. He was in his cups and muttering something about losing his barrow and something else about a camel. Then he slurred a few words I couldn't quite catch about forgetting all about his Ford. I presume he has a Mondeo? Although he was in no condition to drive anything, obviously. And he was clad in very strange full-length leather gear - not unusual for Mathew Street at that time of night, admittedly. Do you think the cowboy Fireman could have grown his hair this fast, or was it a wig? The 'tache is obviously a cowboy thing. He looked very lonely. The last time I saw him he had staggered all the way up to Dale Street and was hammering on the door of the Town Hall. Perhaps he is holed up inside there now? I think we should be told....

yours ever,

The ghost of Lee Forde

LATEST SIGHTING: FIREMAN BRADLEY IN CHARLIE'S HAWAIIAN 'T' SHIRT SHOCK....

Dear Tonys,

He isn't at home at all. I spotted him just this last week in Hawaii - he has gone out there to visit his old mate Charlie, who has obviously coined it in so much from the city council, his property speculator mates and English Partnerships, that Charlie has now amassed enough wealth to start his very own cowboy ranch! As you can see, I managed to take a quick snap of the cowboy fireman Sheriff Bradley when he was out at the coral (I thought they were an up-and-coming new Liverpool combo? eds) admiring Charlie riding his latest mount. Although Bradley is obviously dying his hair now to try and disguise his exact whereabouts, close examination of my photo will reveal the truth. As ever.
Don't ask me what I was doing in Hawaii, it's top secret at the moment, but look out for some bold and imaginative new proposals for the Mersey on the front page of the Echo in the not too distant future....

yours

a developer friend of Charlie's

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

MYSTERY OF THE MISSING SHERIFF BRADLEY....CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER!!!


The mystery of the cowboy Fireman's whereabouts deepens.

Seems that he may not have gone off to his brother in law's wedding in Mexico after all, despite what he told friends.

Nor may he have gone off on a walking tour of the Lake District, as he told his Executive Board on Friday.

Nor headed off to Jason's gaff on the Cala Menor in Spain, as claimed by one of Jase's mates.

In fact, it seems the Fireman Bradley could, amazingly, be sitting at home with the curtains drawn, after he apparently did a Greta Garbo act and told officials: "I vant to be alone."

One theory is that Bradley is firmly ensconsed in Wavertree, drinking Peroni and talking to the parakeet and not answering his council mobile phone (which is probably bugged anyway, eds)

Perhaps he is taking the opportunity to reflect on:


  • his own personal behaviour

  • his failure to keep his promises

  • his stabbing Lee Forde in public

  • and his failure to deal properly and decisively with the civil war between councillors and officers which is now a running sore seeping from the very fabric of the Town Hall.

We doubt, however, whether he will demonstrate any self-awareness whatsoever. Much less will he apologise to those he has wronged. Indeed it is revealing that no-one appears at all certain of his whereabouts at all. Because no-one can now believe a single word that he says.

ANOTHER SIGHTING OF SHERIFF BRADLEY IN NEW YORK!!!!!


Dear Tonys,

Jase's mate is bullshitting you. Bradley is definitely in the Americas. I was on holiday in New York recently, desperately trying to find this twin city agreement with Liverpool, when out of the corner of my eye, I spotted this familiar figure racing past. It was the cowboy fireman for sure - he was behaving like there was a house on fire. Which there may have been. Or maybe he was just trying to avoid the DA? Here's the evidence, anyway.


lotsoflove


Suex

Monday, February 11, 2008

MISSING COWBOY FIREMAN: SHERIFF BRADLEY NOW SPOTTED NEAR THE HACIENDA IN SPAIN! CAN IT BE HIM????

Dear Tonys,

Re:Your search for the missing cowboy fireman.
Me and my business partner Jase were having a break in Spain - he's been through a tough time recently and needed to put his feet up a bit - when we went out for the day to watch a carnival parade. As Jase was munching on an ice cream watching the parade go by, we spotted this menacing figure in the distance. He was wearing a mask so it was difficult to be entirely sure, but Jase went several shades of white (which shows how shocked he was) and nearly choked on his Mivvi. Now he swears blind it was Sheriff Bradley - and you know he's not a bullshitter. See what you think - sorry it's so far away but Jase has now promised to buy me a new camera with his winnings from the council. So not all bad news.

regards,

Jase's mate

SPOTTED!!!!!! THE COWBOY FIREMAN, SHERIFF BRADLEY ON THE STREETS OF NOOOO YAWKKK!!! CAN IT REALLY BE HIM?

Dear Tonys,



We were recently on holiday in New York when we spotted a familiar figure walking down the sidewalk. But he seemed to have swapped his Everton scarf for rather more unusual attire. However, the resemblance was unmistakeable - the publicity-seeking, the arrogant swagger, the selfish streak a foot long (missus! ed). It was none other than Sheriff Bradley! Having escaped from the worst local council in the country, the cowboy fireman now appears to have begun a new career in New York. We knew that you and Chucklebutty would require some photographic evidence - so here it is below!


best wishes,

anti-cabalists on tour




Saturday, February 09, 2008

COWBOY FIREMAN BRADLEY VANISHES - THE LONE RANGER SAYS - 'HI HO SILVER AND AWAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!

MYSTERY surrounds the whereabouts of the cowboy Fireman Bradley today.

He vanished like the Lone Ranger soon after the city council was officially ranked the worst in Britain.

The mystery deepened after two contradictory explanations were given for his sudden disappearance (and recent failure to appear in cheesy city council photo opps).

The first explanation for his absence, which he gave to members of his Lib Dim Executive Board as he departed on Friday, is that he has gone off on a week-long 'walking holiday' (yes, we did say 'walking', eds) to the Lake District.

The second explanation, which we have from totally authoritative sources, is that he has in fact gone to Mexico (Viva Zapata! eds) for his brother-in-law's wedding.

The second explanation seems to us to be the most likely since, as we all know, there are already quite a few other cowboys 'down Mexico way'. But who is Tonto?

Perhaps the Lone Ranger is planning to be at The Last Gunfight at the OK Corrall?
Anyroadup, we are now launching An Official Public Appeal for anyone who spots the cowboy Fireman anywhere in the world in the coming week.

Please let us know where and when - preferably by supplying photographic evidence. (You can post us some links in comments, eds....)

The cowboy Fireman's disappearance is perfectly understandable however.

Pressure is mounting on all sides as the Standards Board begin their investigation into his plot to oust the Harbarrowboy.

The Lone Fireman has already been going around in recent weeks, stetson in hand and Tonto at his side, begging for character references from the great and good.

He will then submit any references he gets (and we shall name names, eds) to the investigators as part of his defence.

The Storeyteller tried the same trick three years ago, but it did him no good whatsoever.
Legendary solicitor 'Sexy Rexy' Makin has also become the first public figure to call for Bradley (and Hilton's) resignation.

This has been the view amongst the great and the good for some time - but none of them have had the bottle to go public.

Unlike Rex.

Interestingly, the arch hypocrite, arrogant and pompous Councillor Richard Kemp (not our favourite person then? eds) who has a lucrative little sinecure with the Local Government Association which enables him to hold forth on any subject in his typically puffed-up way, has also broken cover for the first time.

He has ludicrously demanded a public apology from the Audit Commission for ranking Liverpool as the worst council in the country.

This has only succeeded in attracting even more negative headlines.

Kemp does not yet appear to have learnt the first rule of Public Relations - when buried deep in hole, stop digging!

Readers will recall that Kemp - being the true liberal he clearly isn't - publicly argued for the original Tony Parrish's 'Liverpool evil cabal' blog to be banned and for the people of Liverpool to be denied the truth about Henshaw, McElhinney and Halsall.

Kemp is also the architect of the disastrous Boot Estate fiasco.

We would really, really, really, love it if he made a serious bid for Bradley's stetson.

For Kemp appears to be supremely arrogant enough to actually believe he should be Leader!

Meanwhile watch out for the spin machine going into overdrive to give the impression that Bradley is still present and correct in Liverpool.

Already a press release has been issued pledging that Bradley is personally going to plug the £60million hole in the council's budget.

This was a desperate attmnpt to convey an 'I'm in charge' impression after Bradley had run for cover from the Audit Commission and refused to be interviewed.

The press release was very helpful to those Labour supporters amongst us who would be truly horrified if the Government decided to bale the Lib Dims out of the mess and crisis they have created in Liverpool.

Why should the Labour Government save the necks of the Lib Dims in Liverpool?

But now that Bradley has promised to personally find the dosh and make the cuts, all the MPs can go back to representing their constituents.

Presumably.

No more crisis meetings with Hasitall and CoverUp Hilton ringing their hands and begging for help?

Presumably.

Bradley's going to sort it.

So that's alright then.

Meanwhile, we hope that Inspector Clueless will busily step into the breach to solve the mystery of the Fireman's continuing disappearance.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

LATEST ON THE POOR STRESS-FILLED FIREMAN - UP TO THE MINUTE CONDITION CHECK

GOSSIPERS worried about the condition of accused law-breaker Steve Hurst can rest assured.

It looks as though the Lib Dem Chief Whip's failing health is gradually improving, since he apparently felt well enough to attend a neighbourhood meeting this evening.

Councillor Hurst appeared perfectly relaxed and composed throughout the meeting and exhibited no signs of the unfortunate stress which has forced him to go on sick leave from the fire service.


This now makes it three council meetings he has felt well enough to attend while on sick leave from the fire service.

There is also some further good news for Councillor Hurst, who has so far escaped suspension from the Lib Dem group despite facing a criminal charge accused of election dirty tricks next March.


His Lib Dem colleagues are having a whip round to help him out (although he is still on full pay with public money from the fire service, of course).


If by some remarkable travesty of justice, Councillor Hurst were to be found guilty next month of producing a disgusting nasty and untrue little smear leaflet in Belle Vale last May, it would tend to show his Lib Dem colleagues to be a bunch of unprincipled, cynical, nasty little bastards who believe in nothing but themselves and cannot distinguish right from wrong.

Monday, February 04, 2008

REVEALED AMAZING NEW CURE FOR STRESS - ATTENDING AT COUNCIL MEETINGS!


WHAT are we to make, dear Gossipers, of the appearance of accused law-breaker, Councillor Steve Hurst, at last week's full council meeting?

We only ask because, sadly, Hurst is currently on sick leave from the fire service with stress, pending his forthcoming and keenly awaited trial next month.

Hurst, the Lib Dem Chief Whip responsible for internal Party discipline, is, you will all vividly recall, accused of breaking election law by delivering a disgusting and thoroughly nasty little smear leaflet against the Labour candidate and her fireman husband through the letterboxes of houses in Belle Vale.

His understandable stress at the prospect of facing a trial with 10 witnesses ranged against him, seemed to miraculously disappear last Wednesday when he was able to take his seat in the council chamber, without any apparent ill-effects.

(Sadly, many public spectators were in need of emergency treatment after listening to Fireman Bradley, eds)

Even more astonishing was Hurst's appearance the week before at a day-long Planning Committee meeting.

Again, Hurst appeared to demonstrate remarkable resilience and good health.

Perhaps he finds attending boring council meetings an effective therapy for the terrible curse of stress-related illnesses?

If so, perhaps Hurst has unwittingly discovered a cure - and we should therefore make compulsory attendance at council meetings now immediately available on the National Health Service?

Any appalling suggestion that, in fact, Hurst is swinging the lead from the fire service and thereby ripping off the public who pay his wages, is of course, without any foundation, whatsoever.

For what could his motive for that possibly be?

Some suspicious people would suggest that perhaps Hurst was going to use his illness in mitigation to try to win a sympathy vote. Or even, perhaps, it would make him unfit to stand trial?

If the outrageous suggestion that Hurst was swinging the lead were true, it would then also have to be true that Hurst suddenly went on the sick when he was tipped off by an insider that Fire Chief Tony McGurk was about to suspend him, pending his criminal trial.

That couldn't possibly be true. For it would mean that Hurst did not want to attract more damaging publicity and increase interest in his trial through being officially suspended by the fire service.

And that would be an outrageous slur on a fine and upstanding public servant - rather in the mould of the beyond-reproach Fireman Bradley.

Meanwhile Fireman Bradley, who is obviously a far better judge than Fire Chief McGurk on what is appropriate behaviour (and is clearly better able to judge Hurst's innocence ahead of a trial), is still refusing to suspend Hurst from the Lib Dem group pending the outcome of the prosecution.

And nor has Cover Up yet launched a council investigation.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

'ARE YOU 'AVIN A LARFFFFFF?'

LIB Dim chief whip Councillor Steve Hurst has apparently come up with an unusual defence to the charge of breaking election law.

Word has it that Hurst is insisting that, rather than posting illegal smear leaflets through the doors of homes in Belle Vale, he was actually removing them from the letterboxes.

"Are you 'aving a larfff?" said that funny little bloke from Extras.

Hurst's portrayal of himself as a public-spirited, anti-litter minded environmentalist, is of course, entirely plausible.

Indeed it is incredibly similar to the brilliant defence mounted by Jack the Ripper when caught standing over one of his lifeless victims, brandishing a bloodied knife in one hand.

"I was taking the knife out of her chest, mlud" protested Jack to the trial judge, "to help her breathe more easily. I just had to do it several times...."
Jack was of course promptly cleared of the murder charge and then went on to massacre a further 4787 ladies of the night with total impunity. (We have made all this up, of course, but you get our point, eds)

We await Hurst's trial in March with bated breath, when every detail of the disgraceful dirty tricks that happened in Belle Vale will hopefully emerge.

The seriousness of the charge facing Hurst has been underlined by the revelation that the Crown Prosecution Service decided to press a criminal charge against the Lib Dim councillor who is reponsible for internal party discipline.

You couldn't make this up! eds.

The police prosecution follows the extraordinary doorstep dust-up in Belle Vale ward during the local elections.

At least 10 witnesses are ready to be called to give evidence against Hurst.

Readers will recall that at the centre of the prosecution will be a fake leaflet purporting to be from 'a real socialist party - TUSP' which smeared the husband of Labour candidate, Pauline Watson.

Her husband is a local firefighter - like Hurst.

The leaflet was clearly an attempt to damage Labour's chances in the local elections - but thankfully backfired (literally).

Lib Dim Council leader Fireman Warren Bradley has so far failed to suspend Hurst, or even withdraw the whip from Hurst, even though he has been charged with a criminal offence.

Which reveals, interestingly, that Bradley has less of a clue about what constitues appropriate behaviour and Leadership skills than even Tory Leader David Cameron.

The leaflet also broke election law by carrying no imprint giving the name and address of the organisation which had printed and published it.

So far lazy chief executive Colin CoverUp has also done nothing about this - not even rousing himself from his slumbers to launch an official investigation (probably still too busy investigating the first Tony Parrish, ed).

We can only ask this question:

Where else in the world - but Liverpool - would a member of the ruling Cabinet be allowed to carry on in office when facing a criminal prosecution?

Sunday, January 13, 2008

CAPITAL OF CULTURE PARTY NIGHT: THE ROGUES GALLERY

BOTH former chief executives of the Liverpool Culture Company turned up on Saturday night for the Albert Dock party after the Arena show.


The 'off-sick' Jason Harborow arrived with an apparent retinue of supporters, including ex-Granada boss Sue Woodward and the woman pictured in our exclusive photo.


And Sir Diddy Henshaw was also present in the queue outside the Albert Dock with his wife Alison - although he appears to have turned tail and run for it, shortly after being spotted by our photographer.


Which was lucky for him, because according to reliable declarations from a string of enthusiastic volunteers, Henshaw would have ended up in the dock himself within minutes.The little man ducked and dived in the queue to avoid his photograph being taken and pretended to engage Professor Michael Parkinson in conversation as Lady Henshaw looked on anxiously.


Our spies then collected at the dock entrance, where Pete Price was interviewing random C list celebrities for telly, ready to give Henshaw an early bath.


Only to be left waiting, while Henshaw disappeared sharpish back to North Wales to count his money.



Still there's always a next time.

Between them, the two failed chief execs have trousered more than £600,000 of council taxpayer's money in the run-up to Liverpool, Capital of Culture 2008. Neither paid for their tickets to the Arena - their freebies were authorised by CoverUp.


But spare a thought for poor Jason.


He is in complete denial and appears to think he will be back in charge of CoC Up within weeks.


He went around the Albert Dock professing to anyone who would listen that he was 'fighting fit' and boasting of how much much he had contributed to the Arena show.

As someone remarked - "he might be physically fit, but it sounds as though he's gone a bit doo-lally".


The blog was well represented (purely on the grounds of reporting accuracy, you understand, eds)


Front line staff from the Culture Company were not invited to the piss-up - two free drinks and as much nosh as you could eat - but CoverUp was there, along with a myriad of 'senior' city council boring bureacrats and the usual Lib Dem councillors (so not much of a 'do' then? eds)


The Fireman stomped around, leaving his missus trailing, with a face like thunder (as well he might, according to tales from the fire engine room. Of which more follows soon, eds)


But there was no obvious sign of the Storeyteller.

However, as another spectator remarked: "He must be here if Bradley is here - there's no Punch without Judy".


Acting CoC chief executive, Donald Bullshitter was creeping up to Steve Broomhead from the NWDA, while Henshaw's former £500 a day personal spin 'matron' Alison Hastings, wife of Museums boss David Fleming, spent most of the evening constantly looking over her shoulder.


(Perhaps she was worried that Henshaw might need further attention? eds)


Other interesting snippets:
  • That PR bloke, Ben Lucas, from LLM, who trousered £323,000 for doing bugger all, was also loitering around some of the politicians looking for the next money-grabbing opportunity.
  • The great and the good had apparently been treated to a slap up meal before the show at the Malmaison as part of of a CoC Civic event. Labour leader Joe Anderson was not present.
  • A mate of Our Lord's, a bloke called Carl, who used to work with Redmond at Mersey TV, was given responsibility for organising the event. We don't know who gave him the go-ahead or why, or even if the event organisation was put out to tender.

And we have no idea how much it cost.
But we were reliably infomed it was in the region of £80,000.
And who paid?
Why you did of course.....!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

WIRRAL EXCLUSIVE: MARK RONSON SAYS 'NO' TO LIVERPOOL, SO TOO DOES IAN BROUDIE...

We reveal for your enlightenment, proposals by Ear to the Ground - the Manchester-based company - for the launch of Liverpool Capital of Culture tonight and tomorrow.

Unfortunately top record producer Mark Ronson - 'Valerie' etc - has turned down the opportunity to appear.

As has Ian Broudie, of the Lightning Seeds.

The Culture Company are desperately keeping the list of artists who will be appearing a closely-guarded secret.

So any appearances by anyone will look like a bonus.

Meanwhile, as you know, huge containers will open up outside St George's tonight spilling out Liverpool's cultural offering for 2008. Rather like vomit. (No mention of jobs or the millions wasted etc, eds).

There is huge speculation and joking in the Culture Company that at least one of the containers will contain all the people that have been hired and then fired (guest appearances by Jase, Henshaw, Robbing, etc).

The other will contain all the millions of pounds that has been wilfully and negligently handed over to them and wasted.

Meanwhile, this is a verbatim transcript of how the opening nights are being choreographed by the Mancs from Ear to the Ground.
(PS We know it's not really Gossip, but we couldn't fit this in anywhere else because all the blogs are up to date with important and good stuff and there is more to come. So stay posted, eds)

The provisional performance timeline;
18:30 Start of procession
Mark Ronson and the other artists will be on a ferry travelling down the Mersey. At key points there will be fireworks let off to animate the journey.
At the same time The RLPO will be split on to two open top buses that will lead 2 lantern processions to the arena. The processions will involve other celebrities and people from Liverpool.
19:08 St Georges Hall and the plateau : the city unites
The massed Liverpool artists will be welcomed by the people of the city in front of St Georges’ Hall. Projected clocks on the side of the building mark the countdown as aerial rockets are launched every one of the last eight minutes to the opening of the City of Culture.
Across the plateau there will be art installations and fairground rides, but until 20:08 they are still. Lights are focused across the buildings but again are dimmed, as sky trackers and huge spot lights scan across them.
Around the square huge close up projections of the faces of a cross section of Liverpudlians talk about what their city may become –their fears and hopes for the future.

Proposal
Aim: Mark Ronson to open the Liverpool Arena and European Capital of Culture
Date: 12th January 2008
20:00
The artists arrive and begin to flood out though the doors of the hall onto the steps, in front of the massed crowd.
The tiers of performers interspersed with two dimensional cut out figures of past and absent heroes, recall the famous cover of Sergeant Peppers Lonely hearts Club Band and Adrian Henri’s iconic Hope Street painting. This tableau of Liverpool artists, photoshopped prior to the event, is projected cross the building and accompanied by a soundscape of the people of Liverpool talking about what they so love about the artist’s work they have selected and how it has enriched their lives. These voices are layered and supported by the echoing sound of the sounds and songs of the city, its music, its football crowds, the bells of its cathedrals and favourite songs.
20: 05
A representative of the city makes a short inspirational speech, (so not the Fireman, then eds) inter cut by ever larger markings of the passing minutes. This speech welcomes the artists who the city’s people have chosen to honour at this historic moment (not Henshaw, not Storey, not McElhinney, not Hasitall, not Robbing, not Jase, either, eds) and what their work has meant to them.

It welcomes the artists and people of Europe and the world to come, enjoy and savour the culture of one of the world’s most unique cities.
20:08
The speech concludes, (thank Christ for that, eds) a wall of fountains lift off from the buildings, surrounding the audience in a ring of fire, as huge aerial shells light up the sky.
Through the smoke of this opening salvo a figure is illuminated high above the crowd
on the pinnacle of the Radio Mast. (Is it Cover Up? Perhaps it's Our Lord Redmond? eds)

He holds a guitar, and has a small guitar amp at his feet. (It's Hasitall!, eds) His image, projected across the projection screens, could be that of any of the tens of thousands of young aspirant guitarists, who have been the bedrock of the cities musical fame (Someone from Sirenz? eds)

After a moments pause he plays an opening guitar break. (Don't get too excited. It's Dave Stewart, Liverpool connection unknown. But that's a detail, eds)

As it echoes across the space, flares are released from the building tops all around the crowd, illuminating 200 young guitarists that appear on the rooftops surrounding the crowd below.
Together they play a ‘Liverpool Concerto for guitars’. Their silhouettes fill the skyline of St Georges Hall, Lime Street, the Holiday Inn, The Royal Court, St John’s Car Park, The Empire
As they play a further ten famous Liverpool guitarists are lifted into the air on scissor lifts between each of the pillars of the Hall.
Finally a rhythm section joins in as Ringo Starr is illuminated on the roof above the
Portico, with a support band made up of iconic Liverpool musicians.
From the Portico Roof, Cilla Black steps forward and welcomes the crowd. She is
joined by Atomic Kitten who perform a new version of ‘Step Inside Love’, produced by
Ian Brodie (They can't spell his name properly, but never mind, he's not tuurning up anyway, eds) which is released into the charts the following day.
As the ‘concerto ‘concludes, three cherry pickers rise up into the air. They carry Roger McGough, Levei Tefara and the young winner of a competition run through Liverpool
schools. They who recite three inter locking short poems commissioned specially for the event.
Then as fireworks lift off the building, Dave Stewart, and Ringo Starr perform their new collaboration ‘Liverpool I left you, but never let you down’ , from the St Georges Rooftop, again to be released as a single the following day and delivered at no cost to the event. (Utter Bollocks of course, eds)
There follows a commissioned piece for lone saxophone and a massed Liverpool choir climaxing with the lighting of a large, crane hung ‘08’ fire sculpture and an intense three minute firework display that lights up the sky.
The opening is finished and attention focuses to the evenings main performance.
21:30 The opening of the arena
For the press and VIP’s, the 1000 people who have won tickets through a city wide ballot, and the 7,000 ticket holders, the focus of the evening now shifts to the opening of the New Arena.
For its first public performance, the City commissions an extraordinary new work, a
contemporary reflection and ‘re-invention’ inspired by the musical heritage, reworked,
mixed, stirred and put together again in a radical new way, both a tribute to the past
and mirror to the future.
The concert brings together Mark Ronson, (oh no it doesn't, eds) Vasily Petrenko, the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra, choirs, a cross section of the city’s principal and most famous
musicians from the last forty years and a range of prominent musicians from around
the world.
Staged on an eight tier high and twenty metre wide scaffolding structure, it vertically stacks choirs, musicians and Royal Philharmonic Orchestra vertically in to the air, and through the use of theatrical scrims projects on to them, through them and over them a collage of extraordinary images of the city.
At the centre of the project sits Mark Ronson (oh no he doesn't, eds) While based in New York Mark traces his roots back to Liverpool where his family is from. While growing he became a close family friend of many of Liverpool’s most influential musicians. Today, as a producer
and DJ he has become one of the most influential figures in contemporary music and
production. (But he won't be in Liverpool anyway so it doesn't really matter, does it? eds)
His speciality is the reinvention of songs of the past, fusing them with new beats, rhythms and influences and working with a range of the world’s most prominent vocalists and artists. Past work has included re-workings of ‘Hey Jude’ and the Zuton’s ‘Valerie’ re-recorded by Amy Winehouse. He currently has a number two in the charts, a recreating of a Smith’s song, and an acclaimed new album ‘Versions’. (Good idea (ish) but he isn't here is he? eds)
Mark will work with classical composers, the RLPO and wide selection of contemporary and popular musicians and singers to create this re- imagining of the cities music, a homage its power to inspire new generations of artists. It will range from early traditional Liverpool songs and lullabies, through the songs of the Mersey Sound, to Eric’s and Cream and unsigned new Liverpool bands. It will feature many of the most loved son and daughters of the Liverpool music scene and integrate spoken word and text, featuring the array of writers, poets and playwrights for which the city is famous, figures such as Roger McGough, Willy Russel, Alan Bleasdale and Jimmy McGovern. ('Who invited him then?' - Joe Riley)
The selected song line will be ordered and chosen in such a way to tell the story of the city and the influences that will forge its identity and future, as it explores different ways to re-invent and re-generate itself. (Utter bollocks - ways to waste taxpayers money, eds)
This story will be visually told through a collision of images drawn from the amazing range of visual artists, film makers and photographers who have been inspired by the city’s qualities and identities. It will draw widely on the current Tate exhibition ‘The Centre of the Creative Universe’.
However, like the music, these images will be forged together, in new ways and forms,
manipulated and re-invented with the latest developments in digital film technology, and cutting edge artists from the city.
Initial thoughts for songs include
1. The Beatles Eleanor Rigby
2. The Zutons Valerie
3. Elvis Costello Shipbuilding
4. Echo and the Bunnymen Killing Moon
5. The Farm All together now (hey, that's us! eds)
6. Space Female of the Species
7. The Las There she goes
8. The Undertones Teenage Kicks (John Peels Favourite Song)
9. George Harrison My Sweet Lord
10. Paul McCartney Live and Let die
11. The Real Thing Can you feel the force
12. The Coral Bill McCai
13. The Dead 60s Riot Radio
14. Cilla Black Step inside
15. K Klass Let me show you love (last song played at cream)

There is a further list one the last page.
We need Marks input on songs that he feels his unique style would do the most justice. These are quite famous songs and should only be looked as a starting point.
The inevitable conversations between Mark and other artists will lead to gems being uncovered that will produce a truly unique performance. (ie, 'we have no idea what to do next,' eds)
There is the potential to use other songs not from Liverpool but performed by Liverpool artists
It is important that the whole evening does not rest on the legacy of The Beatles.
The quality of artists that collaborate on the evening is crucial to the success of this event, using Marks contacts alongside our own something great can be achieved. (But won't be, because Mark is not doing it, eds)
23:00 Performance over
Rehearsal time
We would imagine 4 full production rehearsals taking place in the Arena with the
orchestra 8th – 11th January.
It is possible to arrange a number of days working with the RLPO whenever Mark is available.
It is also possible to arrange meetings between Mark and Vasily Petrenko the principle conductor of RLPO
Performance Rights
We have a dedicated lawyer who will sort out the publishing rights for the chosen songs
Fee
The CD and DVD rights are to be negotiated and will form part of the negotiations of
Marks fees for the studio, rehearsal and performance. (And there's the rub, eds)
Audience
10,000 seats at the arena
The provisional allocation is
1,500 VIP / rider (oh aye, who is this lot then? Will Tony Parrish get a seat? eds)
1,000 giveaways to the people of Liverpool (Gee thanks, eds)
7,500 paid seats
Hospitality packages are available and are still to be negotiated.
40,000 people around the city watching on large screens (high dependency on weather
in January) (This figure appears to have gone down to 25,000, eds)
Promoter
Liverpool Capital of Culture will be promoting and ticketing the whole event and taking the revenues. (With The Rottweiller's LDL, raking off their mark-up, eds)
The Liverpool Capital of Culture will be underwriting the whole event and taking out event and cancellation insurance
Production
The event will be produced by Ear to the Ground.
Once contracts have been signed EttG will be the sole point of contact for the event
Media Coverage
To be decided upon Mark and other artists involvement
Next Steps
To organise a face to face meeting with all parties to finalise the contracts as soon as possible
Background
Nigel Jamieson
Nigel Jamieson is one of the world’s leading event and theatre directors.
His work has included creating the central component of the Opening Ceremony of 2000 Sydney Olympics Games, directing six segments of 24 hour worldwide Millennium Broadcast, and Artistic Direction of the 2002 Closing Ceremony of the Manchester Commonwealth Games.
He directed Jose Carreras at Ankor Wat ,Cambodia, has worked at the Royal National
Theatre, and created the London Festival of New Circus and the London International
Workshop Festival. His recent production ‘Honour Bound’, about Guantanamo Bay
opens its2007 European Tour at the Vienna Festival prior to a major tour culminating
at London’s Barbican Centre.
Ear to the Ground
Ear to the Ground is an events agency that conceives and produces experiential activity using its understanding of contemporary culture.
They confidently combine innovative concepts with a solid production foundation to inspire both clients and audiences.
The company was formed in 2002 by Jon Drape and Steve Smith. They met in the legendary Hacienda where Jon was the in house venue manager and Steve had filled it with one of his many club nights. That was then, today Ear to the Ground has a wide portfolio of events ranging working across many sectors, art, fashion, film alongside music.
David Norris will be leading the project from Ear to the Ground.
Richard Mc Ginnis
Richard Mc Ginnis is a Liverpool based promoter with over 11 years experience in the city. Behind Liverpool success stories Chibuku & Circus, through these events has won every major dance music award out there from Mixmag club of the year to BBC Radio one House Rules Club of the year. Richard is also talent booker for the legendary Liverpool dance festival Creamfeilds now in his 4th year as talent consultant as well as being one of the owners of the extremely successful Manchester based Warehouse Project at Boddingtons. In 2006 alone he was behind no less than 200,000 ticket sales
Liverpool Culture Company
The Liverpool Culture Company is the organisation set up by Liverpool City Council to
deliver the culture programme up to and beyond 2008 (God help us, eds)
They are working closely with all their stakeholders - including cultural organisations, communities, artists, schools, businesses, commercial partners, funders and our fellow Merseyside boroughs - to help Liverpool shine on the world stage by delivering the best-ever European Capital of Culture in 2008.
Liverpool Culture Company has a broad remit and the definition of culture covers everything from artistic performance to heritage, health to tourism.
European Capital of Culture
The European Capital of Culture is a city designated by the European Union for a period of one year during which it is given a chance to showcase its cultural life and cultural development. A number of European cities have used the City of Culture year to transform their cultural base and, in doing so, the way in which they are viewed internationally.
Conceived as a means of bringing citizens of European Union closer together, European City of Culture was launched on June 13, 1985 by the Council of Ministers on the initiative of the Greek Minister of Culture Melina Mercouri. Since then, the initiative has been more and more successful amongst European citizens and has had a growing cultural and socio-economic impact on the numerous visitors it has attracted.
The Song List
ARTISTS SONG TITLE
Boo Radley Wake Up Boo
Cilla Black Liverpool Lullaby
Classic song In My Liverpool Home
Echo and the Bunnymen 7 Seas
Echo and the Bunnymen Killing Moon
Elvis Costello Shipbuilding
Elvis Costello I can't stand up for falling down
Frankie goes to Hollywood Relax
Frankie goes to Hollywood Two Tribes
George Harrison My Sweet Lord
Gerry and the Pacemakers Don't Let the Sun Catch you Crying
Gerry and the Pacemakers Ferry across the Mersey
Gerry and the Pacemakers You'll Never Walk Alone
Isaac Hayes I love Music
Jimmy Osmond Long Haired Lover from Liverpool
John Lennon Power to the People
John Lennon Starting Over
John Lennon Whatever gets you through the night
John Newton Amazing grace
The Undertones Teenage Kicks
Julian Cope World Shut yer Mouth
K Klass Let me show you love
Ladytron Seventeen
Lighting Seeds/Ian Brodie Footballs Coming Home (Football moment)
Lightning Seeds/Ian Brodie Marvellous
Marc Almond/Gene Pitney Anyone who had a Heart
Paul McCartney Live and Let Die
Pete Wylie Heart as big as Liverpool
Screaming J Hawkins You Put A Spell On Me (Listened to by the Beatles)
Space Female of the Species
The Beatles Come Together
The Beatles Revolution Cream
The Beatles Working Class Hero
The Beatles Magical Mystery Tour
The Beatles Yesterday (Ray Charles Version)
The Farm Altogether Now
The La's There She Goes (Gabrielle's version)
The Mighty Wah! Story of the Blues
The Real Thing Can you feel the the Force
The Real Thing Children of the Ghetto (Mary J Blige version)
The Zutons Valerie
Possibly using just the rifts and samples of The Beatles songs to abridge the performance.

(And the cost...............? eds)

Monday, January 07, 2008

GRUDGE MATCH: ANDERSON STUFFS IT UP BRADLEY 3-1

EVERYTHING Fireman Bradley touches seems to end in tears at the moment.
Witness Saturday's keenly fought junior football tussle between Dingle Villa and Mosspit Juniors.

Who was that familiar fella running the line during the game (and coming in for some fairly direct critiscism from spectators about what he could do with his little flag?)

Step forward none other than our Mathew Street hero, the Fireman Bradley, coach to Mosspit Juniors, whose son keeps goal for the side.

And who, on the other side, was that talented young central midfielder for opposition Villa?

Step forward, none other than Michael Anderson, son of Labour leader Joe Anderson.

Young Michael, the Villa skipper, had the greatest of pleasure in scoring the first goal against Young Bradley.

(You couldn't make this up, could you? eds)

Proud Councillor Anderson had more cause to chuckle when his lad's side easily ran out eventual 3-1 winners.

Any suggestion that MossPits are now looking for a new coach is entirely without substance. (But of course, the Lib Dems are, eds)

Sunday, January 06, 2008

COST OF OPENING CEREMONY HITS £3MILLION - RINGO IS GOING TO HIT THE ROOF!


THE cost of the opening ceremony is spiralling out of control and has already touched £3million.

That's quite an achievement, since only four months ago the official estimate for the opening ceremony was just £1.3million.

So the cost has already more than doubled and appears to be well on course to treble.

The Culture Company is throwing money at both the event in the Arena and the open air event at St George's (for us plebs, eds) in a desperate attempt to avoid a massive CoC Up.

It will be interesting to see how the city council explains this lack of basic financial control and management when it goes cap in hand to the Government asking it to bail out CoC to the tune of £20million.

It is the outdoor public event which, predictably, is causing most concern.

One of the highlights (sic, eds) is Ringo standing on top of the roof of St George's Hall to wave to the swooning crowds below. (Pictured - waving, not falling, eds)

(And thereby promote his new album Liverpool 8, eds)

But old Ringo is getting on in years now and is apparently getting a bit dodgy on his pins.

He apparently doesn't fancy scrambling across the roof like a teenage cat burglar. Some alarm has been expressed in the Ringo camp at the fate which might befall him.

So all kinds of extra safety measures are now being introduced to try and persuade Mr Starkey that he will be pefectly safe in the hands of the Coc Up brigade.

(If he believes that, he's dafter than he looks, eds)

One of the biggest financial headaches is that the CoC Up brigade failed to hire all the massive plant equipment that is needed for a major outdoor event.

So now they are having to pay over the odds and virtually bribe plant firms to come to the rescue.

Amazingly some companies have told them to **** off, after earlier experiences with the dolts in charge.
Anyway it's clear now, reassuringly, that Ringo never forgot Liverpool 8.
But whether he will be able to find the time in a busy promotional schedule to visit some of the three bedroomed council houses in Liverpool 8 which have still not got central heating (this is the 21st century isn't it? eds) is another question.
The city council certainly appears to have forgotten Liverpool 8.
Quite how many new central heating systems £3million could buy is anyone's guess, of course.
Still, the tenants of Toxteth can always jig about in their front rooms while they listen to Murkeyside or City endlessly playing Ringo's latest album in a desperate effort to take it to No 1.
We're sure that will keep the whinging tenants warm enough.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

DONALD BULLSHITTER RETURNS TODAY...

THERE will not be a warm welcome back today (Jan 3rd, 2008) for Donald Bullshitter who returns to the Fun Palace after two weeks holiday in the US of A.
'Acting' CEO Kris Donaldson, has been "out of the office'' since Monday 17 December.

Not bad in the run-up to one of the most important year's in the city's history, eh?

Bullshitter is paid £150,000 a year and has had an annual 10 per cent Performance Related Pay bonus since he was first appointed Marketing Director in 2004.

Which means he is now on more than £200,000 - and can still bugger off on a holiday just days before the Offical Launch of 2008.

He must be worth his weight in bull shit.

Sir Diddy Henshaw famously said of Bullshitter within weeks of his appointment that he 'would not pay him in washers'.

Amazingly Bullshitter has survived for the last four years despite his obvious incompetence - people are taken in by the American accent and think he must know what he is talking about.

Bullshitter will now be ready to tour every TV studio to get his face on our screens in 2008 - he is obsessed with self-publicity. And the simple hacks think his Stateside drawl shows Liverpool has gone all international.

In fact, it is Donaldson who is the mastermind behind the 'Look of the City' project, which the craven Echo publicised so dismally the other day.

This project involves covering up urban decay and council neglect with huge hoardings, so visitors think everything is hunky dory in Liverpool.

Part of this project also involves putting absolutely useless shite and drab hoardings in the windows of the boarded up houses on Edge Lane - well done Elisabeth Pascoe - as well as hanging even worse flags from the lamp posts.

Some of the crap flags have already been blown off, with the rest left tattered and torn by only mild winds.

Quite how much this lacklustre project has cost so far is anyone's guess and will be kept secret by the city council.

Interestingly, marketing staff at the Fun Palace who have been left holding the baby in Bullshitter's absence, have been told they can have all the holidays they want - but only in 2009.

Meanwhile a word of praise for one person - the NWDA's representative on earth in the Culture Company, one Bernice Law.

She has been working around the clock on the Official Launch to try and stop it becoming a total disaster.

By all accounts, she is not a bullshitter and has been trying her best against all the odds.

Clearly her boss NWDA Chairman Bryan Gray will have much to thank her for if she manages to pull it off.

There is another good thing to be said for her.

She has made it crystal clear to Fun Palace inmates that she has seen right through the Great White Hope - Our Saviour, Phil Redmond.

(Incidentally, perhaps we should re-christen him 'Our Lord' - since he is banking on a peerage in the next New Years Honour List, eds)

Bernice apparently finds Redmond an "insufferable, self-obsessed incompetent".

No news there of course.

But re-assuring that she has such good judgement.

'Our Lord' is meanwhile still wafting in and out of the Fun Palace, trying to hijack projects for his greater glory and to give the impression that he is in control.

Watch out for plenty more bollocks from him.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

OH I SAY! WILL 'RANDY' NEWMAN BE NEXT????

WILL Paul 'Randy' Newman be next to leave the Culture Company?

We ask because of authoritative reports from within the London Olympic Team that the CoC's Director of Communications (sic) has been touting for a new job with them.

One of our informants has told us: "I suspect Paul Newman will resurface in an Olympic role very soon."

Newman has apparently been angling for an Olympic job (lots more athletically inclined women, apparently, eds) for the last year.

A few weeks ago another well-placed Olympics source revealed that Newman had been in touch and had said that Liverpool had been a big mistake.

Newman told his contact that he had wanted to work on the Olympics all along (obviously learnt a lot from Donald Bullshitter, eds)

He rings them every few months looking for an opening.

However, Newman also appears to be hedging his bets.

Another recruitment agency has been touting Newman (also known as Leslie, after the recently honoured Phillips below, eds) for a well-paid position with a Government agency!

This is all the more strange, since The Harbarrowboy used to regularly tell anyone who cared to listen that one of the things he liked about Newman was his commitment to move to Liverpool! (the cheek of these bastards, eds)

Which, of course, he has still failed to do (keeps him conveniently out of sight from his wife at least, eds)

Newman, you will recall, was the self-appointed guardian of public behaviour who decided to try and get Joe Riley the sack for dozing off at the Empire.

Newman, known as 'Lesley' for his wandering ways, 'Carry-on-leering' and lascivious 'well, heeeelllll-oooo' greetings to any new women, tried to deny his involvement by repeatedly telling a bare-faced porky.


Friday, December 28, 2007

THE THINGS THEY SAY.....

Liverpool 2008 Chief Executive appointed
The Executive Group of the Liverpool Culture Company Board today (Friday 24 March) announced the appointment of Jason Harborow as its Chief Executive.
36-year-old Mr Harborow has been the Culture Company's Chief Operating Officer for more than a year and will take up his new post from 1 April 2006.
Mr Harborow will be responsible for managing the delivery of a host of events and programmes between now and European Capital of Culture in 2008.
Welcoming Mr Harborow's appointment, Professor Drummond Bone, Chairman of the Liverpool Culture Company, said: "I'm very pleased that Jason has agreed to accept the unique challenges that go with this high-profile post. His strategic vision for the company alongside his proven ability to manage it on a day-to-day basis and his knowledge of the city will be a great advantage."
Cllr Warren Bradley, Leader of Liverpool City Council, said: "Jason has been instrumental in ensuring the Liverpool Culture Company is in the best possible position to maximise the opportunities 2008 represents. His ability to work with both the private and public sectors at all levels and his desire to succeed will be of immense benefit to the city for many years beyond 2008."
Jason Harborow said: "I'm delighted and honoured to accept this role. I'm particularly proud that we have such a good team in place for achieving the city's ambition of staging the best-ever European Capital of Culture. We're all firmly focused on delivering for Liverpool, the region and the UK."

Sunday, December 23, 2007

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: FIREMAN BRADLEY IN SCROOGE SENSATION

Click on the link below to see Liverpool's very own Scrooge in action.

He has cost the people of Liverpool a multi-million pound fortune with all the pay-offs of public money he has handed out to the 'Fuck Up and Fuck Off' brigade.

Click on the link below.http://www.scroogeyourself.com/?id=1703932085

(From an original idea by Liverpool Confidential, eds)

Thursday, December 20, 2007

LOOKING FOR AN INCOMPETENT, MONEY-GRABBING TOSS-POT TO ****-UP EVERYTHING, DISAPPEAR INTO THE SUN AND RUIN YOUR CITY'S BEST CHANCE FOR A GENERATION?

BELOW is Jason Harborow's CV.
The Harbarrowboy apparently drafted it earlier this year. But after he finally packed his bags for Mar Menor, he forgot that he had left it on his office computer in the Fun Palace.

Sharp-eyed readers will notice that Jase has left question marks against the number of his staff and budget. These were obviously irrelevant details.

We will leave you to make the appropriate comments in response to the bullshit and lies he tells.

And don't forget - this man fucked up so badly that he has left a £20million hole in the Capital of Culture budget. The Lib Dem city council has just paid him £250,000 as a reward.


ENJOY.


CURRICULUM VITAE

PERSONAL DETAILS

Name Jason A Harborow D.O.B. 12 February 1970

Address South Ridge
West Road
Prenton
Wirral
CH439RP
0151 678 8085/ 07715 487121

Jason.harborow@btopenworld.com

OVERALL PROFILE

I am a strong strategic thinker, organiser and Director with excellent experience, knowledge and success in commercial, marketing and operational management.

I have outstanding commercial management and negotiation skills and an attitude to deliver and succeed. I have proven budget and team management skills, able to motivate, enthuse and deliver a project with all key objectives achieved. An excellent communicator with a broad range of business skills, assertive and experienced, strategic in thought and strong in leadership and commitment.

A proven and successful track record in major events and a unique experience of management at senior level in the public and private sector.

CAREER PROFILE HIGHLIGHTS

Apr 2006 – Present Liverpool Culture Company
Chief Executive/Executive Director
Feb 2004 – Present Liverpool Culture Company
Chief Operating Officer

Responsible for the management and strategic Direction of the Liverpool Culture Company who are responsible for delivering the multi year programme of activity leading up to and beyond the European Capital of Culture Year in 2008. The organisation is responsible for all aspects of the programme including Tourism, Marketing, Event Management, Artistic Content, Communications, Income Generation, Creative Community Programme and Brand and re-positioning of the City. In the role I have full responsibility for relationships with all key stakeholders including Central Government and private sector partners, more details http://www.liverpool08.com/

Key achievements

Managing the start up of the business to multi- layered company with almost 100 employees
Re-structuring of company following departure of previous Chief Executive and Artistic Director
Directing launch of initial 2008 highlights to critical acclaim
Development and delivery of huge international events programme in all sectors
Developing Company Business Plan and Annual Delivery plan
Management of business with a annual turnover of at least £20million and 3 year spending profile of £95million
Securing commercial investment with 8 partners secured in first 12 months with at least £2million investment each
Secured 90% of the total budget required for the entire programme in the last 12 months.
Introduction of new City Brand and marketing, Public Relations, Public Affairs and communications strategy
Critically acclaimed speaker on marketing, commercial and cultural issues for major events. Keynote speeches presented at major international conferences
Management of Liverpool City Council Culture, Media and Sport Portfolio with a workforce of ? and budget of ?

Key skills

· Able to deliver results quickly and successfully.
· A clear understanding of all aspects of managing a business with the need for results.
· Strong strategic thinker and organiser to implement commercial and marketing strategy
· Excellent negotiation and presentation skills
· Excellent contract and legal awareness able to assess needs of clients and the organisation and creating positive partnerships

Sept 2002 – Feb 2004 RE:MEDIA PLC
Managing Director RE:ACTIV

Responsible for the management of all aspects of the RE:ACTIV company, one of three companies in the RE:MEDIA Group. The company is the UK s leading sports merchandise and licensing operator with contracts with some of the Uks and Europe’s largest sports brands. The company is also at the cutting edge of web commercialisation, brand development and implementation and ticketing marketing strategies.

Key achievements

Managing the start up of business to market leader in the industry in 11 months
Winning key National and International clients ranging from Aintree Grand National to European Champions League final, European Rugby Cup and Rugby Football League
Creating profitable business model
Establishing company as the number one provider of event and ecommerce merchandise solutions
Credited with changing g the approach to brand commercialisation through merchandise in sport.
Invited by Government agencies to visit West Indies to consult on WINDIES Cricket World Cup 2007.
Voted as a member of the top 42 under 42 young business people in the Northwest in 2003.

Key skills

· Able to deliver results quickly and successfully.
· A clear understanding of all aspects of managing a business with the need for results.
· Strong strategic thinker and organiser to implement commercial and marketing strategy
· Excellent negotiation and presentation skills
· Excellent contract and legal awareness
· Assessing needs of clients and the organisation and creating positive partnerships
· Good manager/team player


Jan 2001– Sept 2002 Manchester 2002 Ltd
Commercial General Manager 30 Direct Reports

Responsible for all commercial income generation for Manchester 2002 Commonwealth Games and PR and Marketing to support the commercial income activity.

Key achievements

· Securing and delivering dynamic brands in the form of sponsorship to the games
· Devising and implementing sales strategy for games income generation programme
· Introducing a cohesive and co-ordinated licensing programme and implementing a range with 500 products and 55 licensees
· Designing, developing and Managing the Uk’s largest ever-ticketed sports event. Achieving income target within 2 months, Sold 90% (900,000) of tickets setting new world record
· Creating and directing a national marketing and PR campaign for the Games ticketing Programme
· Working with key stakeholders to achieve results.
· Engaging and managing key Icons for the games – Ian Thorpe, Jonah Lomu, Denise Lewis, Jason Queally, etc.
· Appointed Games spokesman for official statements to press, radio and TV

Key skills

· Strong strategic thinker and organiser to implement commercial and marketing strategy
· Excellent negotiation and presentation skills
· Excellent contract and legal awareness
· Assessing needs of clients and the organisation and creating positive partnerships
· Good manager/team player

May 1999 – Dec 2000 Rugby Football League
Operations Director 30 Direct Reports

Responsible for the operational and logistical management of the Rugby League World Cup involving 16 senior nations and 6 emerging nations. Responsible for generating commercial income and marketing and PR programme.

Key achievements

· Delivered 40 games in 5 countries at 33 different venues over 3 tournaments
· Record commercial income, through sponsorship, and record attendances
· Media strategy that delivered a strong and consistent message

Key skills

· Planning and organisational skills
· Attention to detail in all areas
· Working to tight deadlines
· Keeping focussed on objectives and financial constraints


March 1998 – May 1999 JJB Sports
Stadium Director/General Manager 50 Direct Reports

Responsible for the development and project management of the JJB Stadium, JJB Soccer Centres and the JJB Health Clubs and hotel groups

Key achievements

· Completion of all sites on time and within budget
· Implementation of all operational procedures
· Implementation of marketing and PR plan
· Delivering key commercial partners and sponsorship

Key skills

· Strong performance management under tight deadlines
· Clarity in decision making
· Excellent communicator
· Financial management
· Workforce motivation and management

Jan 1987 – March 1998 Local Authorities
Various positions Various Direct Reports

Responsible for all aspects of leisure management issues including key management posts at two of the UK’s premier leisure facilities.

Key achievements

· Rapid career progression
· UK Leisure Manager of the Year 1996
· ISRM President 1998
· Development of the North West’s largest multi-sport venue
· Excellent commercial results
· Organisation and management of many national and international events

Key skills

· Commitment and enthusiasm
· Strong performance management under tight deadlines
· Clarity in decision making
· Excellent communicator
· Financial management
· Workforce motivation and management

CAREER HISTORY – Local Authority

EMPLOYER
DATES
POST HELD
Chorley BC
Jan 1987 –April 1992
Asst. Mgr/Comm. Officer
Leisure Officer Contract Management
Wigan MBC
April 1992 –May 1995
Contracts Manager/
Leisure Operations Manager
Wirral MBC
May 1995 – Jan 1997
General Manager – Europa Pools
Wigan MBC
Jan 1997 – March 1998
Robin Park Sports Centre General Manager


EDUCATION

Euxton Church of England Primary School Sept 1974 – July 1981
St Michael’s High School, Chorley Sept 1981 – July 1986

QUALIFICATIONS

11 “O” levels

FURTHER EDUCATION

Runshaw Tertiary College Sept 1986 – March 1987
Blackburn College (part-time) Sept 1988 – June 1989
Lancashire College of Agriculture &
Horticulture (part-time) Sept 1990 – July 1992

PROFESSIONAL QUALIFICATIONS

Diploma in Leisure Management
Institute of Leisure and Amenity Management Certificate
Institute of Leisure and Amenity Management Diploma
National Examining Board of Supervisory Management, Certificate in Leisure and Recreation (NEBSM)
BTEC Continuing Education Certificate in Sport and Recreation Management


MEMBERSHIP OF PROFESSIONAL INSTITUTES/ORGANISATIONS/ BOARD POSITIONS

Institute of Leisure and Amenity Management – Full qualified Diploma member – MILAM (DIP)
Institute of Sports and Recreational Management – Full member – M.Inst.SRM
Member – Deputy Prime Ministers 2007 Bicentenary Advisory Group on the Abolition of the Slave Trade
Member – The National Culture and Creativity Advisory Forum to London 2012 Olympics Games
Board Member – The Mersey Partnership Tourism Board
Board Member – The North West Tourism Forum
Board Member – Liverpool Culture Company
Board Member – The North West Development Agency Major Events Group
Member – North West Steering Group for the 2012 Olympic Games
Member of ISRM Northern Executive Board (President in 1998-1999)
Board member of Rugby League International Federation (1998 – 2001)


HOBBIES AND INTERESTS

I have a very keen interest in sport and culture; I enjoy watching live sport and experiencing major sports events.
.
I have been very fortunate to pursue my hobby, broadcasting, working on local, regional and national radio and TV as a presenter and producer.

I enjoy power boating and when time permits I enjoy lazy weekends on the Mar Menor in Spain!

My family are very important to me and I enjoy spending time with my wife and daughter

FURTHER DETAILS

If you require references or any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me.