MATHEW ST LATEST: JASE PHONES COVERUP TO RETURN AND BOOK HIS PLACE FOR MTV....BUT COVER UP SAYS NO!

THE chattering classes report an unusual telephone conversation between the Harbarrowboy - safely exiled in Spain - and Colin CoverUp, unsecurely tied to his desk in the Municipal Buildings in downtown Dale Street.

Apparently the conversation went something like this...

Jase: Eh up Col, how's it going, ba gum?

Col: Jase, why are you ringing me?

Jase: I want t'come back ont' Wednesday so that I can go t' MTV awards in Munich on't Thursday. Dago doc says ma ticker is tickety boo, although appen I've got touch of skin cancer now. But that there MTV show is going to be a crackin gig, tha knows, there's loads of champagne and them there dancing girls and 'ollywood celebs we can run shoulders with and.....

Col: I don't think that would be 'appropriate'.

Jase: Why not mucker? It was ma bloomin' idea to bring MTV t'pool int' first place and ah'm not missing this fookin trip, for love nor money. Snoop Dogg is on!

Col: Who?

Jase: Snoop Dog! Ya know, fo' shizzle, ma nizzle!

(long, long pause)

Jase: Hello, Col! Are you still there, matey? Summat up?

Col: Yes, Jason.

Jase: So is tha' alright with you then mucker, if i come back in on't Wednesday? I'll do a bit of paperwork first for an hour or so, go and 'ave me lunch and then fook off to Berlin? There's a lot of work to do to get ready for 2008, tha knows. Peoples to see, places to go.... Matey.

Col: No Jase, I am afraid that would not be a sensible move. You know, the Leader of the Council's view about all this. And anyway, he is very busy now, doing all that extra homework with all the various reports he has been given.

Jase: Well bah the Christ, if thou is not for letting me back to work on the morrer, I shall ave to sling me hook and take three more weeks off on't sick! So there! And evil rottweiller McElhinney can do his worst! He can hire all t'taxis he wants to scuttle around to my gaff ont' wirral handing out notices demanding that ah'm to report for medical exam! But I won't be there, see! Ha, ha! Ah'll be at th'acienda! Eatin' lolly ice!

(Jase hangs up phone)

Col: Jason? Jason?

(to be continued....)

THE COMEBACK KID - DUE BACK ON WEDNESDAY.

THE Harbarrowboy is due to return to the Fun Palace this Wednesday.

That's according to his ceremonial stand-in, Donald Bullshitter, who has been going around "reassuring" everyone that good old Jase will be 'back soon'.

That's not the word amongst councillors or the ruling Lib Dem Exec Board who have been told that Jase will never darken their door again.

What worries us is, (if Jase does by some miracle return), where is he going to lay his sun-tanned torso?

Now that he has sold his detached house on the Wirral, will he move temporarily into one of the other two houses on Merseyside which he has has put up for sale?

Will he be looking for a B&B in Anfield?

Or will he be bedding down for the night in his office at the Fun Palace?

That can't be good for his health with a heart condition.

If you would like to offer Jase a bed for the night, give him a ring at his office on Wednesday morning. Tel: 0151 233 4447

Then you can also make sure he has turned up for work on time.

Of course, if Jase isn't able to answer the phone, you might conclude that Donald Bullshitter has been bullshitting again.

FOR SALE: JASON'S £499,950 HOUSE ON THE WIRRAL

West Road, Noctorum, Wirral

We are delighted to offer for sale this superb DETACHED EXECUTIVE RESIDENCE situated in a popular area of Wirral only a brief distance to local facilities and schooling, enjoying the benefit of gas central heating and double glazing. The accommodation briefly comprises: Spacious Entrance Hall, Ground Floor WC, Large Lounge, Dining/Sitting Room, opening out into a large Conservatory, Snug/Study, Spacious Breakfast Kitchen with integrated appliances, Utility Room and to first floor there is a Landing, Four Bedrooms, the master affording an En-Suite Shower Room plus well appointed replacement four piece Family Bathroom. Externally there is an audio/visual intercom system and electric gates, long driveway extending to ample off road parking and turning space, larger than average garage with remote control door, principal lawned gardens to side plus raised timber decking feature.

FOR FURTHER DETAILS PLEASE CONTACT:Karl Tatler , Heswall

(re-assuring that all the money in the world can't buy taste, though, isn't it? eds)

Alternative descriptions of Jason's house are invited....

WHAT'S NEXT FOR JASE, AFTER CREAMING IT FROM LIVERPOOL'S CAPITAL OF CULTURE?

THIS is going to be hard to swallow...

But we can exclusively reveal that the Harbarrowboy is buying a Spanish ice cream factory while on his sickie!

Seems Jase has finally decided he has taken enough of a licking at the Culture Company.

So the Harbarrowboy has instead opted to (banana) split from Liverpool.

He didn't want to be gradually frozen out by the fireman Bradley (surely not? eds).

According to usually reliable sources (shouldn't that be sauces? eds), Jase has slowly begun to melt away from Merseyside.

(That's enough! eds)

He has already sold one of his homes - a large detached, according to the Daily Post - on the Wirral.

But the Harbarrowboy has two other properties on Merseyside which he intends to sell to the highest bidder.

Meanwhile Jase has been slowly recuperating from his obviously extremely serious and grave heart condition while at his sprawling hacienda on the Costa del Crime.

He has been relaxing (see our exclusive photo, right, eds) by regularly logging on to the Liverpool subCulture web site to catch up on Culture in the city.

But he has also found some time to extend his already bulging property portfolio in readiness for when his departure from the Culture Comedians is officially announced.

Jase has identified a local ice cream manufacturer as a sound business proposition.

(He's the next Alan Sugar, this fella Harbottle - after all, there's blazing hot sun all the year round, so the locals are bound to want two or three icies every day. Result - he's a multi-millionaire in no time at all! Brilliant! eds)

In order to buy the factory, Jase has had to scrimp and save to stump up enough cash from his lifetime of struggling at the coal face at the Culture Company's Millennium House Fun Palace (that's enough sick jokes, eds)

Any suggestion that the poor Harbarrowboy has been creaming off council tax payers money would be totally wrong. That possibility is wafer-thin.

As is the disgraceful claim that he has gotten fat on all that Liverpool lolly and is now splashing out in the Spanish sunshine.

Or that Jase has been sprinkling hundreds and thousands on to his new bizarre new enterprise.

(Right, that's it! eds)

All together now, "Just one cornetto..."

HAS JASE ALREADY DONE A RUNNER, EVEN WITH HIS DODGY TICKER?

FEVERISH speculation concerning the whereabouts and intentions of Culture Company barrow boy Jason Harbarrowboy.

Jase's up-for-sale house on the Wirral is now boasting a 'Sold' sign and he has finally been granted Spanish dual nationality.

His wife and daughter have already fled to the Costa del Crime and Jase is reported to have joined them while on sick leave with a dodgy ticker.

One attractive theory has it that Jase will now go on the sick for six months, while sheltering in the shade of his hacienda.

Then he will persuade some pliable cardiac consultant to testify that his heart condition is stress-related - thus allowing Jason to quietly and reluctantly hang up his gold jewellery with a huge pay-off from the city council.

And the sympathy of the entire city and no stain on his reputation (shurely shome mistake? eds)

Then he can settle back into his hammock, top up his perma-tan and sip pina coladas until Kingdom Come - thanks to the generosity of the people of Liverpool.

"Difficult job very well done, invaluable contribution, Culture now moved into delivery phase, Redmond in charge, terribly sad, ill-health prevented Jason playing active role, nothing to do with Mathew Street mess, wish him well, sorry to see him go, hope he gets better soon, huge pay-off will help cushion the blow," goes Colin Cover Up's prepared script.

All of which neatly prevents the Harbarrowboy having to take any of the responsibility for cocking up Culture and wasting the city's best opportunity for a generation.

It is also alleged that the rottweiller McElhinney, (ooooooooh, that evil bastard is back on the scene, is he? eds) who is in charge of the city council's inHuman Relations Dept, has promised not to pursue Jase's sickness claim, or to insist on forcing him to take regular medical examinations back in Blighty, or to stake out his casa with private dicks seeking evidence of him partying late into the Spanish sunset with Cockney ne'er do wells and unidentified blondes.

No surprise really - after all, this lot are all members of the cabal, piss in the same pot and will look after each other, won't they?

On the other hand, Jase could be back in charge of Culture next week. (Gawdhelpus, eds)

Then again, he has probably already been given his ticket to ride.

Two tickets to one of the cultural highlights of 2008 for the best picture caption!

JASE IS OFF SICK - GET WELL SOON!

OUR great friend Jason, the Harbarrowboy, Harbrow is currently off work from the £114million Culture Company through sickness.

For the last four months, Jase has been trying to keep secret a heart problem - which accounts for his latest absence from the Fun Palace.

His heart condition (he hasn't got one, eds) would of course give him a convenient excuse to reluctantly leave the Culture Company stage, without a stain on his fantastic public reputation. (do you think? eds)

So that makes the next move a bit more interesting for his employers, the city council, doesn't it?

Perhaps fireman Bradley will finally have his demand for Jase's head come true? Completely fortuitously, of course.

Meanwhile KenUnworthy is taking some time to find some expert legal opinion on the city council's Mathew Street debacle report (as we predicted, eds), so they are now planning to leak it next week.

MATHEW STREET DEBACLE SHOCK - NO ONE TO BLAME, BUT SCAPEGOAT FORDE

Stand by for some classic council skulduggery this week as the report on the Mathew St debacle is published.

The internal report will stand reality on its head by clearing both the Harbarrowboy and Cover Up of any blame or responsibility for the worst public relations disaster since Storey appointed Henshaw as chief exec.

Neither of course will be held to blame for cancelling Europe's biggest street music festival.

We hear that the finger will instead be pointed at Events chief Lee Forde who resigned from the £114million Culture Company in protest at Harbarrow's incompetence and the risk to public safety posed by cut-backs.

All the signs are that Forde will be made the convenient scapegoat for Harbarrow and Cover Up's incompetence and lack of judgement.

Of course it's easy for this pair of overpaid incompetents to take a pot shot at Forde now that he has left the council.

He has already vowed to take them to an industrial tribunal for unfair dismissal - so he will be fair game for whatever dirty little tactics the council can dream up to try and escape blame.

Expect all kinds of ridiculous allegations, carefully and selectively leaked to the gullible local media by the little Harbarrowboy and his grinning accomplice, the Smiling Assassin, Hasitall.

They will do anything to try and blacken Forde's name so they can appear whiter than white.

The council's report, which is due to be published by the end of the week, was today handed to "acting" City Solicitor, Michael KenUnworthy, aka the bald legal eagle.

'Cover Up' has decided to wait for expert legal opinion on the report's contents before he gives the order for it to be selectively leaked first to the Echo (then the DPost and then Radio Merseyside, trailing behind in a poor third place).

So he will be a long time waiting for expert legal opinion from KenUnworthy.

QUICK-QUICK FLO! THE STANDARDS BOARD ARE IN TOWN!!!!!

OFFICIALS from the Standards Board arrive in Liverpool this week to investigate Flo Clucas's actions over Dance Liverpool and the Irish centre.
The bossy bureaucrats have finally decided to act on Labour Leader Joe Anderson's formal complaint about Clucas and her actions over the Centre on Mount Pleasant.
Readers will recall how Anderson obtained leaked documents apparently showing how Clucas repeatedly breached the Code of Conduct for councillors.
Meanwhile we can reveal that the city council's Planning Chief, Nigel Lee has been removed from all discussions about the future of the Grade 11 listed building which the city council has negligently allowed to go to wrack and ruin.
Lee has been told he can take no further part in any decisions about the centre because of his previous actions and involvement with Clucas.
This is an extraordinary state of affairs - a highly paid official has been effectively told he cannot do his job for the city, because his impartiality has been compromised!
Quite why anyone should trust Lee with any other planning matters, when he has apparently already demonstrated his unfitness for public office, is a bit beyond us.
Typically, Colin Cover Up is doing his best to hush all this up, aided by the compliant local meeja.
Meanwhile Clucas faces the Standards Board to answer allegations that she abused her position and authority to favour and promote an organisation - Dance Liverpool - of which she is a Director.
It is also claimed that she failed to properly declare an interest in Dance Liverpool when she was promoting its campaign to take over the Irish Centre and also trying to arrange Euro and council funding for it!
Clucas is in charge of Objective 1 Euro funding for Merseyside.
Meanwhile the DPost and Echo continue to observe radio silence on this mildly interesting story, although we are informed that the lovable Lee Bennion at Radio Merseyside is planning a full-scale Panorama-style investigation.
Can't wait to hear what world exclusive you come up with Lee!
There is absolutely no suggestion that Councillor Clucas, a senior Lib Dem and Executive Member, is a corrupt servant of the people who is only involved in politics to serve her own personal interests and get out of it as much as she can, as long as no-one notices or dares to challenge her or stands up to her self-opinionated, pompous, self-serving ways which pay not a jot of attention to the interests of anyone else at all. No suggestion of any of that, at all.

HUNT ON FOR MATHEW STREET MOLE IN LIB DEMS

HUGE ructions within the Lib Dem group over who leaked Fireman Bradley's email.

Angry words around the Corridors of the Power(less) in the Municipal Buildings and in The Fireman's under-siege Leader's Office, which now apparently resembles Henshaw's bolt-hole before Sir Diddy was finally forced to walk the plank.

Bradley has been extremely active on the phone, calling up his 'colleagues', summoning others to meandering meetings and constantly pleading for party discipline (bit late in the day for that, eds)

But Wounded Badley still cannot put out the fire started by the Mathew Street fiasco.

Apparently The Fireman has ordered his own internal leak enquiry - threatening expulsion from the Lib Dem party, never mind the group, if the mole is ever unearthed.

(Shades of the ridiculous Tony Parrish probe, eds. Perhaps The Fireman can get the bald legal eagle, KenUnworthy to help him out?)

It is clear that Bradley's letter to Hilton, demanding the Harbarbarrowboy's resignation came from a mole inside the Lib Dem group.

They were the only ones who were sent a copy - in the post (silly boy. But it does show his weakness if he has to try and impress his own group with hysterical letters to the chief exec! eds)

Unfortunately we have only been able to narrow the likely leaker down to any one of about 24 Lib Dem's who had good reason to undermine the Fireman.

Apparently one enterprising Lib Dem has even opened a book on the identity of the leaker, with former Leader Mike Storey now 9-4 favourite.

But we can reveal that, in fact, there were two leakers who acted, apparently independently, within days of each other.

One copy of the email was delivered in a brown envelope to Labour Leader Joe Anderson's office in the Corridors of the Power(less).

The second was pushed, unaddressed, through Anderson's letter box at home!

Meanwhile Anderson is now understood to be in detailed negotiations with THREE separate Lib Dem councillors - including one Executive Member! - who want to cross the floor (or leave the sinking ship, eds).

Anderson's masterly leaking of Bradley's email to the Liverpool Echo also had its moments of quiet satisfaction.

After confronting Cover Up with Bradley's email, Anderson demanded an explanation from Hilton.

Word is that Cover Up was virtually speechless with shock and could only babble semi-incoherently as Anderson looked on in bafflement.

Anderson decided to put Hilton out of his misery and curtly dismissed the £225,000 a year chief executive. The lonely Hilton was left to trudge disconsolately back to Henshaw's old office "as white as the proverbial sheet", according to one observer.

One of the best conpiracy theories currently doing the rounds is that the leaker was not a Lib Dem at all, but in fact the smiling assassin, Hasitall, who saw his chance to get Bradley and Hilton out of the way, leaving him with a shoe-in for the job of chief exec.

It has a certain attractive authenticity, given Hasitall's record.

WHOOOOOOPPSS! THE BALD LEGAL EAGLE HAS (CRASH) LANDED

PREPARE yourselves dear readers, for something of a let down...

News reaches us that the city council's acting City Solicitor, Michael Kenworthy has met with an unfortunate accident.

(What goes around, comes around, as Tory Blair, i mean Tori Blare, would say, ed)

It seems that Kenworthy, also known as the bald legal eagle, was conferring with council colleagues at a civic function to mark the opening of some obscure, non-descript standards body.

As is now the tradition in our Capital of Vultures, the wine was flowing.

The cultural canapes were fast disappearing and Kenworthy was entertaining the assembled company with tales of his derring-do battle to the brink with the first Tony Parrish. (Just kidding, ed. No one was entertained.)

Then Kenworthy, who has made it his lifetime's ambition to bring TP to justice (is this the city council's own peculiar brand of 'justice' then?- ie, they first of all break the law and then spend tens of thousands of pounds of council taxpayers money trying to cover it up? ed), had a slight mishap.

As the free booze flowed and the glasses were emptied, the bald legal eagle decided to fly the nest.

But then, I believe, he suddenly complained of 'feeling faint'.

The next thing you know, the bald legal eagle had landed. Crash-landed.

He was found lying in a heap not far from the scene of the carousing.

Any suggestion that Kenworthy had imbibed a single drop of alcohol, let alone too much, would be a disgraceful slur on an upstanding city council employee who has always upheld the highest traditions of public service.

Anyone who suggested otherwise and alleged that he had been freeloading too freely with the booze, would be guilty of the kind of disgraceful defamation which the first Tony Parrish perpetrated against such fine public servants as Sir David Henshaw, Dr David McElhinney and Mr Phillip Halsall.

(Have you taken leave of your senses? ed)

The legal eagle was taken to hospital where he has undergone a series of rigorous tests at great public expense to try and trace the source of the trouble, but without success.

As one councillor accurately remarked: "He didn't have to go to Fazakerley for a brain scan however, because there was obviously no point..."

He is now on the sick from the council (wonder if McElhinney will stop his sick pay? ed) where his expert legal advice and great legal judgement is sorely missed as prostrate he lies (what goes around, comes around as Tory Blair, i mean Tori Blare, would say (again), ed).

But, I believe, he will soon return to rejoin battle with Google in his lifelong bid to unmask TP and close down all blogs in the entire known universe (of which, more later, ed)

Meanwhile his predecessor as (non-acting, ed) City Solicitor, Graeme Careerist, is apparently tryin to keep his head down in the private sector and pretend he wasn't in charge when the council broke the law so disgracefully.

'WOUNDED BADLY' HAS FUN AT THE FUN PALACE....

Warren Bradley came into Millennnium House on Wednesday morning to try and rally the Culture Company troops after Joe Anderson's resignation.
It was a disaster.
First he started off by telling us not to take any notice of all the nonsense in the papers and that everything was great and 2008 was going to be fantastic. Does he think we are all stupid? We know it's not great - thats why we are so fed up with it all.
People just listened in silence as he told us how everything would be fine and we were all doing a fantastic job.
Patronising bastard.
Then after his little rallying the troops act, he had the cheek to say 'right everyone, let's all get back to work now.'
It was his little joke.
You could have heard a pin drop. We were gobsmacked. There were a few coughs and splutters and the sound of papers being shuffled and then everyone just turned away from him and started talking amongst themselves.
If he had carried on, he would probably have started a punch-up.
You are also right about Lee - he will be missed, altho he is staying until the end of August to see Mathew St through apparently.
And have you heard about that walking disaster Jane Casey? - she is now working with us in the Culture Company.
Don't know how much they are paying her to keep her mouth shut - it seems as if you can create enough fuss the Culture Co will try to buy your silence - but i would now willingly mortgage my house to stop her inane and irritating chatter all over the floor. She is barking mad.

vulture

REVEALED: THE SHOCKING TRUTH ABOUT INSPECTOR CLUELESS...

THERE'S no other way to prepare you for this, dear readers, but be warned, it will come as something of a shock. You really wouldn't believe it if you hadn't read it here first. Honestly, I had to ask my well-informed source to say it again, slowly, before I... (oh getonwithitwillya! ed)

Ok then...

Inspector Clueless, otherwise known as former councillor Richard Marbrow, has... joined a gym!

That's right, the tub of lard has joined the David Lloyd gymnasium in Speke.

Seems his abrupt departure from the political scene in the May local elections, has caused Fatso to undergo something of a mid-life crisis (he's only 76, ed) and to reflect on his past mistakes, misdemeanours and failures.

So once he has trimmed his wide girth to manageable proportions, we are expecting him to issue an abject public apology to the first Tony Parrish and to recant for his gullible subservience to the evil cabal.

How long this transformation will take we can only imagine.

Apparently, although he is a regular visitor to Mr Lloyd's fitness and fun establishment (as is that other fat bastard, Sir Diddy, ironically, ed) he does not appear to have lost much weight so far.

Perhaps he and Sir Diddy are meeting in the safety of the steam room to plot revenge on TP?

Marbrow has already apparently loudly vowed vengeance on those fellow Lib Dems who refused to allow him to take the chicken run from Kensington.

But Clueless's inability to shed a few pounds at the gym may have something to do with his unusual exercise regime.

After a hard five minutes limbering up within sight of the treadmill, he normally collapses in a dishevelled and sweaty heap. Mopping a fevered brow.

Then after helping himself to a few Mars bars to give him some extra energy, he usually takes comfort in a bucket of "food" from the nearby KFC. Washed down with a gallon of coke.

Whether Clueless ever has any room to tuck into humble pie for his 'afters', is anyone's guess.

But it would do him a world of good if he somehow learnt to swallow his pride.

We can only hope, (genuinely, ed) that he has experienced a real conversion after his well-deserved election defeat.

That a man who has above average intelligence could be so scintillatingly stupid, remains one of the great Liverpool mysteries of the 21st century.

That his overbearing lack of judgement should also be only outweighed by his self-important pomposity, is as baffling as his real age.

We hope however, that Clueless has learnt his lesson and that, in time, he will discover some much-needed maturity, humility and self-awareness.

Fat chance.

NEW ARENA SENSATION: NOT A PENNY FOR LIVERPOOL, FROM THE ECHO

THE Echo's mysterious sponsorship deal with the new Arena came as a complete surprise to the city council's ruling Executive Board, apparently.

Councillors knew nothing about the five-year deal - until they read about it in the Echo.

And no-one is now being allowed to ask questions about how much this "historic" deal is worth to the people of Liverpool.

That's despite the fact that the entire Arena has been built with £145million worth of public money!

Councillors are being fobbed off with platitudes if they ask exactly how much the Liverpool Echo is paying for the privilege of having its name on the Arena.

The subject of how much it is worth has been carefully avoided in all the publicity. (For the obvious reasons, ed)

The Echo's contribution is 'in kind' says the law-breaker Hasitall, who has been the architect of much of the deal.

What this means is that the Arena will get loads of free advertising in the paper, whose circulation is rapidly declining and which has little audience or influence beyond the city's boundaries.

This will hardly be conducive to attracting full houses for every single gig. So we can presumably, in the future, look forward to free tickets being distributed to the city council, Echo employees, etc, to get more bums on seats.

There is also an informal understanding that the deal will mean there will be no untoward critiscism of the Arena appearing in the pages of the paper (a la Capital of Culture, then, ed)

Fireman Bradley hopes that getting the Echo even further on board will mean they become even more slavishly uncritical.

It's called buying influence...(with public money, too, ed)

But there will be no actual money in the bank for the city council, which has contributed £12million and will own and run the Arena.

The council of course is currently £29million in the red and talking about years of hefty council tax rises to pay for 2008.

The deal also depressingly underlines the small town ambitions of those who were in the know about the deal - Hasitall, fireman Bradley and Storey.

They decided to copy neighbouring Manchester's example of course, where their 'twice the size' Arena has a longstanding and very successful deal with the Manchester Evening News.

"Oh, I know, we can do a sponsorship deal with the Echo, like Manchester," said Storey, with an impressive outburst of originality and creativity.

However the M.E.N has, of course, parted with millions of pounds to get its name and brand all over the Manchester Arena.

But not a penny for Liverpool from the Echo, which of course, is owned by the hugely profitable Trinity Mirror.

In other words, we were sold short again...

WHY THE MEDIA SILENCE ON HURST BEING QUESTIONED OVER ELECTION DIRTY TRICKS?

terri said...
Do you know Tone, I am astonished that this post has not caused much more comment. Are we all getting used to the evil cabalists getting away with their crimes and misdemeanours? I am told that the reason the story has not appeared in the Echo or Post is because they have decided not to run anything unless/until Hurst is charged. This seems to me to show a sudden, but welcome outbreak of fairness amongst local journalists. They haven't afforded that privilege of refusing to print stories about other people being questioned under caution, have they? So why now - for Hurst? Or shall we form our own conclusions?
Tuesday, May 29, 2007 12:00:00 AM

DE-SELECTION MOVES FOR FRAENKEL

THE knives are out for Standards chief Beatrice Fraenkel because of her obvious unhappiness with the Lib Dem group.

Moves are underway to de-select Counc Fraenkel, who chairs the council's Standards Committee which is laughably meant to monitor the behaviour of councillors (which committee monitors the behaviour of senior officers then? ed)

The Cressington Ward councillor has made it clear to the city's great and good, of which she is a fairly permanent habitue, that she has become increasingly disenchanted with fireman Bradley's motley crew.

Her unhappiness is long standing and goes back as far as the civil war which erupted between Storey and Henshaw.

Apparently she has complained consistently ever since about the Lib Dem's lack of delivery and their persistent failure to improve the city council's services.

She has also made it clear to close confidantes that she is unhappy at the do-nothing drift and lack of direction which £250,000-a-year Cover Up has cleverly masterminded for the last year.

There has been some feverish speculation that Fraenkel, who is, (completely bizarrely, ed) the council's 'design guru', might even cross the floor to Labour.

To nip any such disastrous defection in the bud, senior Lib Dem's are now plotting to de-select her from her ward.

So she will be pushed, before she can jump.

Or before she can summon, for starters, fellow Lib Dem Councillors Clucas, Kemp and Hurst to give evidence to her committee and account for their astonishing actions, which we have detailed elsewhere.

CULTURE DUO VOW TO GO DOWN WITH THE SHIP!

TWO well-known directors of the Culture Company have decided to stay put after weeks of agonising.
We are reliably informed that both Radio Merseyside's Roger Phillips and Brookside creator Phil Redmond have given serious thought to jumping ship from the Culture Company Board before it hits the iceberg.

Both have told friends and colleagues of their growing disenchantment with the Culture Company and all who sail in her.
However, less wise counsels have apparently now prevailed and the pair have been finally persuaded to abandon thoughts of resigning and instead see out the looming disaster.
(After that it will be every man for himself, never mind women and children first, ed)
Readers will recall how both were put on the Culture Board in a forlorn attempt to silence the sceptics and inject some much needed credibility.
However, we can report that both have since been left angry and frustrated at the lack of tangible progress in plans for 2008.
Both have loudly complained inside the Fun Palace at Millennium House about the woeful lack of communication and the failure to capture the public's imagination or involvement.
But they have signally failed to have any impact on the Harbarrowboy steaming ahead with his pitiful plans.

Neither can point to anything which they have achieved in their sojourn on board ship.
Staying put means, of course, that their deafening silence will now be interpreted as support.
But come the day of reckoning they could find there will be no room left for them in the crowded lifeboats.

NEWS FROM INSIDE THE LIB DEM GROUP...

Dear Tony,

Just a note for you to use however you see fit.
At the Lib Dem Group meeting last week, which elected Warren Bradley unopposed, our erstwhile firefighter made a historic promise.
He told us: "If Joe Anderson ever becomes leader of the city council, I shall leave the city."
Some of us thought this was tempting fate a little.
One or two others apparently thought this was a good enough reason to cross the chamber and help Anderson next year.
Whatever, it illustrated just how out of his depth and lacking in judgement Bradley is.
The silly boy.
Some of us despair of him ever growing up and being anything other than teacher's pet to Storey....
I am sure you will have fun with this....

Eagle eye

FORGETFUL FRANK FAILS TO FILL IN FORM AND ***** UP!

A BLUNDER by Lib Dem councillor Frank Doran has caused red faces amongst his yellow colleagues in the run-up to next Thursday's council elections.

Forgetful Frank failed to renew his entry on the city council's electoral register and was left unable to nominate his party colleague Inspector Clueless, Richard Marbrow.

The more cynical have conjectured that this was a deliberate mistake by Frank, a former desert rat.

But we can reveal that Frank simply ****ed it up (there's an alarming amount of alliteration in this post already, ed)

Forgetful Frank managed to ignore three letters from the council asking him to return a form confirming he still lived at 37 John Lennon Drive and was still eligible to vote.

Perhaps he was arrogant enough to think that the council staff would put it through on the nod for him?

But they didn't. They followed the rules instead.

So it came to pass after the requisite period, that forgetful Frank was removed from the electoral register altogether.

Thankfully for him, he had ticked sufficient boxes on his nomination form when he was last elected in 2004.

That meant his failure to appear on the register did not mean he would be thrown off the council (do not cry 'shame' at this point, ed)

It was only when he came to sign clueless colleague Marbrow's nomination papers that he finally discovered his oversight.

His mistake has now been rectified and he is back on the register.

And he will also be able to vote for his bumptious colleague if he wants.

(But will be part of a very small, steadily dwindling group, addicted to pizza and pomposity in equal measure, if he does, ed).

He has not, however, been able to nominate his clueless colleague as he was too late to do this.

(Which numbskull did nominate him then? ed)

But here's an intriguing thought - could Frank's failure to respond to the three letters delivered to 37 John Lennon Drive be accounted for by the fact that he does not actually rest his weary head there at the end of a long hard day?

And if he is not there, where is he? (Afghanistan again? ed)

Clearly he doesnt pop round to collect his mail often enough!

thanks for the help with this post...

COVER UP SENDS AN EMAIL ABOUT HIS JOLLIES - AND LEAVES THE SMILING ASSASSIN IN CHARGE (gawd help us!)

EMAIL SENT BY COVER UP TO EXECUTIVE DIRECTORS AND COUNCILLORS....

Dear Colleague

As from Monday 2nd April I will be on two weeks annual, returning to the office on Monday 16 April. During this time I will out of the country and will not be able to access emails, though these will be regularly reviewed by my office and they will able to assist with any queries in my absence. The Deputy Chief Executive for April is Phil Halsall who will be the contact for any urgent issues that arise during this period, his office contact number is 225 2347.

Regards

Colin Hilton

ELECTIONS OFFICER COLIN COVER-UP GOES OFF ON HIS JOLLIES, WHILE LIVERPOOL GOES TO THE POLLS

CURRENT city council chief executive Colin Hilton has jetted off on a luxury five-star holiday in the middle of the local election campaign.

Nothing too surprising about that - except that Colin Cover-Up is getting paid £25,000 a year as Chief Returning Officer for those very same council elections.

So if anything goes wrong with the elections this year - lost ballot papers, poor access to polling stations, a fuss over postal votes - we can phone up Cover Up at his luxury hotel and be assured of his immediate attention.

It shows that nothing very much has changed since Henshaw was in charge.

Avid readers will recall that Henshaw got rid of the previous Returning Officer, Charlie Lasham on trumped up charges, so he could then pocket the £25,000 a year Chief Returning Officer fee and puff up his ego by reading out the results on election night.

Soon after knifing Lasham, Henshaw disappeared on a luxury holiday in the middle of the campaign.

Then 200 residents of a tower block in Everton found they had been missed off the electoral register and couldn't vote because of his incompetence.

Imagine Henshaw's fury and embarrassment when he returned from his £6,000 sojourn to find the Mersey Mart had splashed on the story complete with a glossy picture of his sunshine retreat in the Caribbean.

We can only hope the same fate befalls Cover Up who has also pocketed the £25grand Chief Returning Officer's fee and then buggered off to the sunshine. Like father, like son.

COUNCILLOR RICHARD KEMP, THE ARCH HYPOCRITE, ABUSES HIS POSITION AGAIN...

LIB DEM Councillor Richard Kemp is fond of complaining about the actions of other councillors.
In particular, we are told, Councillor Kemp (or Clever Dick to his mates) seems to object to some councillors emailing their colleagues from their place of work. (more of this in the future, ed)
So, imagine our surprise and consternation when the email missive below arrived for our perusal.
For it has originated from none other than Councillor Kemp, architect of the Boot Estate fiasco, self-styled housing 'expert' and arrogant tosser.
And what's this????????
Has he really abused the computer of the PLUS Group (the parent company for CDS Housing) and their email facilities, to send out his self-important thoughts about council business????
Shurely shome mistake, Clever Dick?

Complaints about this abuse of position and facilities, should be sent to The PLUS Group Chief Executive Ken Perry. Preferably by EMAIL. Here's his contact details:

Email: ken.perry@plusgroupltd.org.uk

Telephone: 0151 708 4611

And here's the Kemp email about Everton and Liverpool (talk about an own goal! ed)

From: richard.kemp@plusgroupltd.org.uk [mailto:richard.kemp@plusgroupltd.org.uk]

Sent: 02 April 2007 13:30

To: Radford, Steve

Cc: Dean, Alan; Fearnehough, Alan; Walker, Alan (Councillor); Makinson, Andrew; Tremarco, Andrew; Rothery, Anna; Hines, Ann; Collinge, Barbara; Mace, Barbara; Fraenkel, Beatrice; BentonJ@parliament.uk; Williams, Ben; Turner, Berni; Ousby, Bob; Lenton, Chris; Newby, Chris; Eldridge, Colin; Antrobus, Dave; Hanratty, Dave; Irving, David; Jones, Doreen; Knight, Doreen; Clein, Eddie; Allen, Elaine; ellmanl@parliament.uk; Kemp, Erica; Clucas, Flo; Cooke, Frank; Doran, Frank; Prendergast, Frank; Ben-Tovim, Gideon; Hulme, Graham; Williams, Hazel - Councillor; Jobling, Ian; Phillips, Ian; Ian Macdonald; Spriggs, Jack; Corbett, Jane; jane.kennedy@parliament.uk; Clein, Jan; Seddon, Jean; Lang, Joan; Anderson, Joe (Councillors /Municipal Buildings); Hanson, Joseph; Clucas, John; Coyne, John; McIntosh, John; Mullen, Josephine; Afford, Karen; Turner, Keith; Firth, Kevin; kilfoylep@parliament.uk; Reid, Kiron; Sidorczuk, Laurence; Buckle, Linda-Jane; Baldock, Louise; Kelly, Malcolm; Kennedy, Malcolm; Fielding, Marilyn; Storey, Mike; Stewart, Nadia; Small, Nick; Mills, Norman; Holleran, Patricia; Keaveney, Paula; Walton, Pauline; Brant, Paul; Clark, Paul; Clein, Paul; Millea, Peter; Allen, Peter; Roberts, Richard; Kemp, Richard; Marbrow, Richard; Oglethorpe, Richard; White, Richard; Quinn, Robbie; Johnston, Roger; Gould, Ron; Bailey, Rose; Gladden, Roz; Sullivan, Sharon; Kelsey, Sarah; STAPLETONJ@parliament.uk; Hurst, Stephen; Munby, Stephen; Monkcom, Stuart; Marshall, Tom; Gould, Tina; Best, Vera; Bebb, Violet; wareingr@parliament.uk; Bradley, Warren (Leader of the City Council)

Subject: RE: Keeping Everton in the City

Ian and Members,

You may recall that some years ago when I had responsibility for this I made continual efforts to get Everton to come and talk with the Council. After a year without even getting an acknowledgement I gave up. Liverpool replied to the initial letter within hours of receiving it.

Cllr Richard Kemp,mobile 07885 626913

The rottweiller McElhinney joins the lecture circuit - on behalf of Liverpool city council

HERE is some semi-intelligible, self-serving, hypocritical rubbish about a conference which is being held next month in London.

No doubt the cost of attending will be almost equivalent to McElhinney's weekly expenses claim.

However the conference, which is apparently about giving the public a better deal, will not cost anything like the millions which McElhinney's corruption cost the council taxpayers of Liverpool.

However, there is also an item at the end, which may be of further interest, since there appears to be some considerable doubt about who McElhinney is employed by and therefore accountable to.

You can skip all this tosh and go straight to the highlighted bit if you like.

Following the recent recommendations of Sir David Varney, which calls for service transformation through a better service for citizens and businesses and a better deal for taxpayers, CCA will host a public sector seminar on 24 April 2007 in London to examine the implications of the Varney report and to offer defined solutions to the challenge of best practice service delivery to both employees and citizens.BBC Broadcaster Liz Barclay, will represent the citizen in her role as chair, challenging presenters and delegates with their needs, demands and frustrations in mind. Hearing almost daily from people who are perturbed by the level of service they receive, Liz is ideally placed to carry out this role and add the customer dimension to all elements of the programme.Anne Marie Forsyth, Chief Executive of CCA, said: "The Varney recommendations will have a gargantuan impact on how the public sector delivers it services in the next decade and we have created a programme which will deliver key educational learning outcomes on the challenges of change and the role of best practice."Having already gone through a significant consolidation programme, Nick Lodge, Director of Customer Contact at HMRC, will share his approach to the next stages and will discuss if it is possible to deliver great service with fewer employees.With local authorities operating 50% of public sector contact centres, an interactive panel debate will look at how they meet the challenges that arise due to services becoming increasingly complex and rising demand from citizens. You will hear how our panel of local authority contact centres have effectively implemented change with in their centre and will understand what impact this has had on employees and citizens alike. Panel members include Dan Paul, Gateshead Council; Paul Twine, Westminster City Council; David McElhinney, Liverpool City Council, Isabelle Bignall of Cardiff City Council and Robert Irons, COI.
Additional Information
Numbers for this event are limited. To register your attendance or to find out more, tel: 0141-564 9384 or email events@cca.org.uk - events@cca.org.uk

So the question is this - is the rottweiller McElhinney representing Liverpool city council or not? And if so, why hasn't anyone from the city council had the bottle to discipline or suspend him for the millions he has stolen from council tax payers?

Not to mention the blondes ladies who he has fixed up with jobs. (I told you not to mention that, ed)

SO WHO IS LYING JAYNE? AND IS ANYONE ASKING?

WORD reaches us that Jayne Casey, of The A Foundation, is now denying that she handbagged £25,000 for lying about in a bed at St George's Hall.
She has laughed off the blog's post and claims that she was paid nothing for her appearance at the dismal launch of the Culture Company's programme (sic) for 2008.
This is the opposite of what senior people at the Culture Company have been gossiping about for the last two months. They have been privately outraged at the way money is routinely wasted by the Harbarrowboy.
So someone is lying.
But who?
Jayne has been dismissive to journalists who have tried to ask her about the cost.
Sadly most journalists then seem to have abandoned any hope of finding out the truth.
None seem to have had the gumption to ask the Culture Company for the total cost of the 2008 launch, which of course involved councillorsd quaffing free booze and canapes.
Nor has anyone asked how much was paid to consultants, like Jayne, who were involved in the launch.
A Freedom of Information question would have put the Culture Company on the spot a bit.
And if they resorted to the council's usual tactic of breaking the law and refusing to answer, it might have given us a little clue about whether Jayne was paid £25,000 or not. (Perhaps it was £24,999? ed)

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: SENSATIONAL NEW PICTURE OF ONE OF THE ROTTWEILLER MCELHINNEY'S FAVOURITE BLONDES...

VICTORY FOR THE BLOG: City Council forced to stop Careline answering calls about turkeys

Liverpool city council has been forced to stop its Careline staff from answering calls about Bernard Matthew's infected turkeys.

The move followed the huge flap caused at the Municipal Buildings following our last 'Its not bootiful' post.

The council has now told the rottweiller McElhinney that specially trained social services staff should not be used to answer calls on behalf of DEFRA.

Instead, they should continue to answer calls about children at risk and the most vulnerable people.

The council are now able to truthfully deny that Careline staff are working for DEFRA.

But they WERE answering such calls - until we made it public.

Our post resulted in a flurry of activity at the MO, with leading councillors asking serious questions and worse, demanding truthful answers (!) and even the Echo motivated to make a few tentative enquiries.

But the Echo were easily fobbed off with some careful phrasing and the bureaucrats are now drawing up an unitelligible report to confuse and therefore quieten down any unruly councillors.

Meanwhile McElhinney, chief exec of Liverpool Direct Limited at MisadVenture Place, has escaped as usual with just a verbal ticking off from 'Cover Up'.

The much heralded fight with Peter Cosgrove never materialised (predictably, ed).

However, the LDL contract with DEFRA over the turkey flu outbreak in Suffolk continues (isn't that worth an Echo story then? ed) with council staff, seconded to LDL, continuing to handle calls.

ITS NOT BOOTIFUL! - THE ROTTWEILLER MCELHINNEY STARTS AN ILLEGAL TURKEY SHOOT!

Liverpool City Council staff have been forced to work on the Bernard Matthews turkey crisis in Suffolk!
Specially trained social work staff who normally handle calls to the council's Careline have been ordered by McElhinney to take calls about bird flu instead!
Liverpool call centre staff have also been instructed to take calls as part of a contract the evil McElhinney has negotiated with DEFRA.
(Christ almighty, no wonder the council's own services are so bad, ed)
Careline is the social services call line for those vulnerable people who cam sometimes be in desperate need of help. It is also used to alert the proper authorities if someone is in an emergency.
(It is NOT for turkeys, ed)
But instead of answering such Careline calls at McElhinney's lair in (Misad)Venture Place, council staff are now taking calls about a mangey turkey outbreak miles away from Liverpool.
Staff are appalled at what they have been ordered to do - but dare not stand up to the evil rottweiller.
His 'yes sir, no sir' sidekick - Councillor Richard 'Inspector Clueless' Marbrow - is well aware of what is going on and has done his best to hush it all up.
Until now.
What makes the lucrative contract with DEFRA (how much is that worth then? ed) even more scandalous is that McElhinney (left) is acting illegally in forcing staff to comply.
(Doesn't it just show everyone that the arrogant **** has still not learnt his lesson and thinks he can get away with murder? ed)
Staff have been denied annual leave so that the LDL contract with DEFRA is covered.
Staff from the One Stop Shops have also been offered overtime to make sure the contract is covered.
Staff have even been taken out of the One Stop Shops during their normal working hours to help take calls.
But there is some good news...
McElhinney is shitting himself because city council Assistant Executive Director Peter Cosgrove has been informed of what has gone on.
Cosgrove is one of the genuinely good guys and although considered weak by some, would love to get McElhinney bang to rights.
Cosgrove has been copied into some damaging email correspondence which McElhinney sent to staff and the rottweiller has now gone off the deep end to try and cover his tracks (again, ed) .
In an attempt to bully and intimidate staff he has launched his own personal investigation into who forwarded what email, to whom and why.
The Head of Human Resources, Collette Hannay, has also become officially involved and is aware of how McElhinney has broken the law (she won't do anything about it, ed).
Not surprisingly, the thieving rottweiller has now enlisted his long-standing accomplice, the smiling assassin Hasitall to try and dig him out of the turkey shit!
It is all very hush hush and in the end, Colin 'Cover Up' can probably be relied upon to sweep up all the turkey shit into his fancy pigeon loft at the back of the MO.
So that's why we are telling you now...
And we would just add:
Isn't it about time that the city council put its own house in order FIRST?

HEY, WE HAVE AN EXCLUSIVE PICTURE OF JAYNE CASEY AND HER £25,000 BED! YOU JUDGE IF THE CULTURE COMPANY HAS SPENT TAXPAYERS MONEY WISELY...

At St George's Hall, Jayne Casey in action on the £25,000 bed (is this what's known as a foursome then? ed) and above right in an earlier, presumably less profitable, incarnation...

Question: How much did it cost the Culture Company to get Jayne Casey into bed for the night? Answer: £25,000 (apparently)

FRANKIE SAYS LET'S ALL GO TO HOLLYWOOD AND HAVE A GOOD TIME.... said...

hey Tony, guess how much Jayne Casey was paid by the Culture Company to loll about on a bed for the night?
A cool £25 grand!!!!
You will remember that Jayne, once of the pop group, Big in Japan and now of The A Foundation and the 'Independents District' and a well known extremely gobby scouser who is also a bit loopy, was one of the, ahem, 'stars of the show' when the Culture Company launched its programme for 2008 in St Georges Hall?
This was when they spent a huge amount of money, God knows exactly how much on balloons, glitter and free nosh and booze for the invited guests including a number of leading Lib Dem councillors of course who were quick to get their noses in the trough.
But it is now common knowledge in the Culture Company that they paid Ms Casey an astonishing £25 grand to turn-up and do her stuff.
She was apparently one of the self-styled 'artistes' they hired to entertain the hoi polloi during the night.
Jayne's artistic contribution to the event's festivities took place in St George's Hall's small ballroom which was got up like a bordello, all crimson satin, lace and feathers and a huge bed.
She proceeded to invite passers by to join her on th bed. Not sure how many took her up on this, however.
This was all to do with some film she was promoting, but it was completely lost on me. And it seemed to me that harbarrowboy was desperate to have the self-appointed 'independents' on board for the launch.

so he probably reckoned £25 grand was cheap to make sure Jayne didn't go all gobby over culture and have a go.

not that jayne could be bought off by anyone, oh no.

hope this isn't too libellous for you Tone, but i thought people should know who and what their public money is being spent on when the council are making 50 million quids worth of cuts in services. No doubt even more money has been equally well spent...

Thursday, February 15, 2007 11:03:00 AM

In a spin over summer pops....

AND AN EXPLANATION FOR WHY THERE HAVE BEEN SO MANY FREE PUFFS FOR THE ARENA IN THE ECHO AND THE POST IN THE LAST FEW WEEKS....

Jane said...
Guess who the spin doctor for the new arena is Tony?
None other than your old friend Jon Brown, who worked so assiduously on behalf of Chas at the infamous lobbying meeting with the Harbarrowboy, way back when the evil cabal website was running rampant.
Dunno whether Brown had to formally tender for the job, or how much it was worth, but he was an obvious shoe-in being so close and friendly to Chas, I would have thought.
Makes it much easier for Chas for them both to have the same PR person, when he brings back the Pops at the arena next year.
And won't that be hunky dory for everyone then?
Lots of loverly cash...

Monday, February 12, 2007 11:48:00 PM